The Taoist (1)
Having savored the company of Zhou Yu and Sun Ce — and then, for dessert, Seo Yeo and Lü Bu besides — I found myself wearing a faintly dumbstruck expression at the scene before my eyes.
"…"
Sun Ce lay sprawled out cold, her head still rammed against the wall, while Zhou Yu stood barely upright beside her, catching her breath. That much alone was enough to paint a full picture of what had transpired here only moments ago. Zhou Yu had most likely grabbed the prone Sun Ce and hurled her straight into the wall.
…So a back suplex, followed by a giant swing, was it? She'd had nowhere in the world to learn wrestling holds, yet she certainly wielded them to staggering effect.
"That damn son of a bitch…. I'll never forgi—"
"…Zhou Yu?"
"Hah!"
Her fury plainly not yet spent, Zhou Yu had been advancing on Sun Ce — but the instant my voice reached her, she startled violently. Her head swiveled toward me like a machine grinding on a broken gear.
"My lord…?"
"Well, how do I put this. I've no objection to friends enjoying a little chat, but…."
Letting my words trail off for a beat, I swept my gaze over Zhou Yu from head to toe.
"Couldn't you at least drape something over yourself?"
"…Ah?!"
Thus I addressed Zhou Yu, who stood there baring in full a figure that would rivet any man's eyes.
"I get to treat my eyes to a feast, so it suits me fine, but…."
"Th-that's not what—!"
"Aha. Then might you, by any chance, be attempting to seduce me from the small hours of the morning?"
When I said it with a smile, Zhou Yu scuttled backward and swaddled herself in the blanket. Watching her do so, I gave a slow nod.
"So it was seduction, after all."
"What is that supposed to mean?!"
Well, men do favor what is glimpsed in secret over what is bared in plain sight.
At my explanation, bewilderment surfaced on Zhou Yu's face.
"Then what in the world am I supposed to— Hyaaak!"
"You still don't get it?"
Hers was the question of a woman who knew nothing yet of the affairs between men and women. Laying Zhou Yu down, I answered playfully.
"I'm saying there was never any way out from the very beginning."
"That can't be—!"
"Now then, let's see…."
I brought my hand to Zhou Yu, who flinched and quivered all the while yet never once pushed me away.
"Your lower half feels a touch damp — or is that just my imagination?"
"Th-that's because last night you, my lord—! Nngh!"
Had I truly gone that far? Well, it had been a while since I last did this, and every one of my partners had been a beauty, so nothing about it was strange.
"If you truly despise it, you could always throw me across the room the way you threw Sun Ce."
"…"
"Ah, though my body is hardly sturdy, so do be sure to toss me gently onto somewhere soft."
At my teasing, Zhou Yu flushed scarlet and slowly turned her face away.
"…That's a low blow, my lord."
"Is it, now."
Such was Zhou Yu: she would fling every wrestling hold in existence at her own dearest friend without a flicker of hesitation, yet could not bring herself to lay a single finger on her lover.
Sun Ce and Zhou Yu.
Even after that sort of thing had come to pass with the two of them, my daily routine remained exactly what it had always been. …To put it precisely, the only difference was that fresh commotion kept erupting in between.
"My lord—! I was looking for you!"
Sun Ce — who had turned inexplicably proactive ever since she and I became one — came striding up, beaming from ear to ear.
"As you commanded, I have investigated every renowned physician in this city!"
"I see."
I nodded at Sun Ce's report. The reason I had issued her such an order was none other than this.
How should I put it. If my long experience had taught me anything, it was that wherever you go, there are always bastards who swindle the penniless and scrape them raw down to their very souls.
And in an age when people were dying off so cheaply, what occupation could turn a wicked heart into such sweet, plentiful coin? The physician. None other.
That was why I had entrusted the screening to the Jiangdong natives — to flush out the so-called quack doctors. With me pouring support into the profession, failing to weed these bastards out in advance would only end with fraudsters gulping down precious funds.
And there were a staggering number of them, mind you. Looking at these con artists, I could almost understand why the exalted figures of old had held physicians in contempt. …Though the trouble was that they scorned the entire profession, not merely the frauds.
Go in for a diagnosis feeling a little run-down, and they'd prattle on about curses laid upon you or ghosts clinging to you, all while insisting that what you truly needed was to hand over your valuables — at times I could scarcely tell whether these men were shamans or physicians.
Half of all physicians were swindlers of exactly this stripe. Naturally, the profession's image could only rot.
What made it all the more vile was that this was a world where superhuman strength and divine spirits genuinely existed. At the very worst, ordinary commoners with no mystical gift of their own couldn't tell whether this bastard was running a con or truly communing with the heavens.
And so the frauds ran ever more rampant... while the people sank ever deeper into poverty... If I meant to support physicians, the policing had to be every bit as thorough. Carrot and stick were meant to be wielded together, after all.
"Good. Well done."
"Thank you!"
I nodded to Sun Ce, then set my plan in order. Later, once the physicians I had summoned arrived, I would give the whole lot of them a proper going-over.
Con artists who practiced their trade while playing physician generally came in two breeds.
The first was the fraud who dressed his patter up convincingly and played the expert: "Oh dear, oh dear! This is a fatal illness! You must take the medicinal herbs I have prepared at once, or this grave condition of yours…."
The second was the fraud who strutted out in broad daylight with his belly bared, as if to ask how anyone could possibly know better: "You there—! This is a heavenly punishment sent down by the wrath of your ancestors—! Unless you offer up your valuables this instant and beg forgiveness, a great calamity shall…."
You might ask whether anyone would truly dare behave so in front of the General-in-Chief himself. They truly did.
Well, swindling one's fellow man did require that much shamelessness as a bare minimum. Con artists without it would have starved to death or been beaten to death long ago. …Besides, I had, after all, approached them with my identity concealed.
In any case, sorting the frauds out from among the physicians who behaved this way toward me was a simple matter.
"Might I ask where, and by what method, you examined this body to conclude it a fatal illness?"
"W-well, that is…."
The frauds who knew only how to play the expert found a genuine expert summoned to stand before them.
"Ancestral spirits, you say…. Yes. This one is a fraud."
"I see. Seize him."
"Wh-wha—?! Who are you people…!"
And the ones who sprawled out baring their bellies had those bellies split open for real.
The reason I could act this way without a moment's deliberation was simple.
"Whew… These roads are dreadfully complicated," Zhang Jue remarked.
Because she was here.
Medicine when it was medicine, sorcery when it was sorcery — what problem could there possibly be, when the foremost standard-bearer among mystical physicians who wielded supernatural power stepped forward to verify them in person?
Hua Tuo would have suited the role as well, but she was busy enough merely treating those who were genuinely ill. In times like these, division of labor was the answer.
I had once voiced my puzzlement at how Zhang Jue arrived scarcely any time after my letter went out. And small wonder — she had been staying in Luoyang. Given the time the journey from Luoyang to Jiangdong ought to have taken, my doubt was entirely fair.
"…You arrived remarkably quickly, no?"
"Hehe. There are ways for everything, you know."
Zhang Jue, for her part, merely smiled an enigmatic smile and let the question slide. Considering the feats she occasionally displayed, I could almost believe her if she claimed to have ridden a cloud in from somewhere. Or perhaps she had used earth-shrinking sorcery….
"Come to think of it, my lord."
"Hmm? What is it?"
Just as I was finishing my mental inventory, Sun Ce, standing nearby, spoke up.
"Well… did you not once instruct me to beware an old man by the name of Yu Ji?"
"I did."
After all, in Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Sun Ce slew Yu Ji and died soon after of his curse. It went without saying that I would say such a thing.
Reading my reaction, Sun Ce went on with a faintly troubled look.
"But word has it that this Yu Ji is presently staying somewhere near this city."
"…What was that?"
Now that was a development I had not seen coming. Not so much as the tip of his nose had shown while our forces were locked in a knock-down, drag-out fight with the Shanyue Tribe — so where had he sprung from all of a sudden? Was he some sort of event that unlocked once you claimed the whole of Jiangdong? This world was no game, but I couldn't help the odd thought all the same.
If I chose wrongly here and had Yu Ji killed, I'd no doubt be tormented by his vengeful spirit. The curse that had driven that Little Conqueror to her grave was nothing to take lightly. …Not that there was any reason under heaven for me to kill Yu Ji in the first place.
Still, one question did nag at me, and I put it to Sun Ce.
"And what is this Yu Ji fellow doing at the moment?"
"Ah — yes. They say he wanders from village to village nearby, aiding the people with some strange sorcery or other."
"Some strange sorcery," was it…. It was an answer that laid bare exactly how Sun Ce regarded Yu Ji. Had history run its original course, she would have cut him down on the spot, branding him a sinister charlatan — and then been dragged down the road to the afterlife as his traveling companion.
Having heard the report, I answered in an even voice.
"…There is something more pressing at hand just now. I will decide the matter later."
"Understood."
If Yu Ji was out there aiding people, then as far as I was concerned, so much the better. I was hardly the sort to poke a hornet's nest unprovoked, so I resolved to simply leave this Yu Ji be. …Though I had to admit I was curious what manner of man he might be. Well, if fate drew a thread between us, we would meet sooner or later.
"Then let's be off."
"Yes, my lord."
And with Zhang Jue at my side wearing a look of quiet, knowing mystery, I set out to make the rounds of the city.