Pacifying Jiangdong (5)
"You are so frustratingly slippery! Just once, let me get my hands on you—I'll even go easy!"
"Eeek! My lord, save me! That woman is absolutely trying to kill me!"
Every time Sun Ce closed the distance, Yan Baihu clung to me in wide-eyed terror.
It felt oddly like being latched onto by some small, frightened animal. Um… what is this.Zero concept of personal space here, huh? This, from someone I'd been trading blows with until only days ago.
"You villain! Stop tormenting my sister this instant!"
Just then Yan Yu, who had been hovering anxiously at Yan Baihu's side, found her courage and shouted. A woman who had absorbed every last nutrient meant for her older sister—and boasted the lush, fully matured figure to prove it.
"If you're so desperate to fight someone, then I'll be your oppo—squawk!"
"Yan Yu—!"
Before she could finish her sentence, Sun Ce's blow caught her square, and she crumpled bonelessly to the ground.
"…Huh? She couldn't even dodge that?"
Even the one who'd thrown the punch at Yan Yu hadn't seen that coming, apparently.
I stared blankly at Yan Yu, sprawled out cold with a huge lump already rising on her head. Yan Baihu clutched her fallen sister and wailed.
"Y-Yan Yu! Pull yourself together! You mustn't die here!"
"…Hey. Nobody dies from a tap like that."
Yan Baihu rounded on Sun Ce without a moment's hesitation.
"Coming from someone who could kill a man barehanded, that's not exactly reassuring!"
"…Yeah. Fair."
Sun Ce's shoulders sagged, every last ember of fighting spirit seemingly snuffed out by the sisters' clownish display.
Yan Yu may have gone down in the most graceless way imaginable, but at least she'd accomplished the one thing she set out to do—shielding her sister.
Watching the two souls who, in the original history, had lost their heads to Sun Ce instead drain her will to fight was a strangely memorable sight.
"How did someone like that ever come to lead the Shanyue tribes…?"
Having finished some incomprehensible back-and-forth with Yan Baihu, Sun Ce scratched her head sheepishly and turned to me.
"Um… my apologies. My antics put you in an awkward spot for a moment there."
"No, it's fine."
It had felt like watching a comedy sketch unfold right in front of me, after all. For some reason I found myself gazing at the sleeping Yan Yu with perfect serenity before I spoke.
"Hmm… a white cat, you say…"
"M-My lord?"
Sun Ce's expression twisted strangely, as if she'd just realized I was savoring Yan Baihu's words. Was she picturing me toting a small girl around like a pet cat?
…If the patrol hauled me in for that, I'd have nothing to say in my own defense.
Needless to say, I had not mentioned the white cat with any such intention. Eyes fixed on Yan Baihu's hair, streaked white and black, I murmured.
"Going by the coloring, that's not a white cat—it'd be a calico."
…
What now.Why are you looking at me like that?I'm not wrong, am I?
And I wasn't the only one being favored with odd looks for the simple act of correcting a factual error.
"Master…"
"…Has there ever been such a thing as a red cat?"
Seo Yeo gave me precisely the same ambiguous look Sun Ce had, while Lü Bu had gone off somewhere in her head, earnestly cataloguing cat breeds.
"Um… My lord?"
"What is it?"
Sun Ce asked, a flicker of worry crossing her face.
"I trust you haven't forgotten your promise to come and deepen our bonds before long."
…
"I couldn't say for myself, but that Zhou Yu girl is most definitely looking forward to it."
Having delivered this quite calmly, Sun Ce began, with meticulous courtesy, to slowly withdraw.
"We shall await only the day you call for us, my lord!"
With that, Sun Ce swept away with all the swagger her epithet of Little Conqueror implied.
Well, no problems up to that point.
"Yan Yu shows no sign of waking! Should I throw cold water on her?!"
"Cats… cats…"
But why is everything around me like this?
"Jeong Reung! Look at this!"
"Hm? What?"
"…Meow?"
…No, seriously, what is going on?
Just as I was burying my face in my hands over the pandemonium, Sima Yi appeared with soldiers in tow. The instant she sized up the scene, she asked in a faintly flummoxed voice.
"…What exactly happened here?"
If I explained in detail what had just transpired, I'd no doubt be on the receiving end of another withering stare. Sensing as much, I fudged a vague answer.
"…It would take a while to explain."
"Ah… yes. I imagine it would."
She caught on.So how was I supposed to explain this, then?
While I was still wrestling with the problem, Sima Yi heaved a long sigh.
"This matter is more urgent, so I'll let it slide this once."
She had seen through my evasion in a heartbeat, yet chose to pass over it without a word of reproach. Sima Yi turned to the soldiers she'd brought along.
"Bring him out."
"Yes."
At the order, a soldier dragged Ze Rong forward with crisp, disciplined movements.
…
His face was a shade paler than before.What on earth had happened in that short interval?
"…My lord."
"Oh, isn't that Zhuge Liang?"
Why is she out with Sima Yi?
Zhuge Liang normally flitted from place to place like some mischievous spirit, so even I could never quite pin down what this girl was doing, or where. In a world that already felt like fantasy, layer the Romance of the Three Kingdoms' Zhuge Liang on top, and her every step took on an air of profound mystery.
Was this what she had to be like from childhood—so that one day she could summon the southeastern wind and raise the Stone Sentinel Maze?
Zhuge Liang spoke in a voice that made plain her displeasure at the sight of Ze Rong standing bolt upright before me.
"Since when does a common criminal presume to stand at attention before the Grand General of Han?"
"What is that supposed to mea—"
THWACK—!
"Gahk!"
Yeesh. That one had to hurt.
The moment Zhuge Liang finished speaking, the soldier who had dragged Ze Rong in drove a vicious kick into the back of his knee. His leg buckling, Ze Rong dropped to his knees as nature intended—and a heartbeat later he was gazing up at me in utter humiliation.
Observing this, Zhuge Liang raised her White Feather Fan to her lips and murmured.
"Mmm… not bad, but something is still lacking."
"What is it with this wom—!"
Before Ze Rong could finish, Zhuge Liang carried on addressing the soldier.
"It seems to me there is a somewhat finer posture available. What say you?"
"Yes. Leave it to me."
As if he had been waiting for precisely that cue, the soldier who had kicked Ze Rong's knee seized him by the hair and slammed his head straight into the ground.
"GWAAAGH!"
Robbed of his last ounce of strength by the tortures he had endured, Ze Rong could offer no resistance, and he shrieked as his forehead cracked against the floor. Kneeling with his torso bent low, he now formed a shape not unlike a man performing a full kowtow.
…He's bleeding from the forehead there. That's fine, right?
Watching Ze Rong flinch in place like a crushed insect, Zhuge Liang pronounced herself satisfied.
"Yes. Much better. That is the pose that becomes you."
"Ughk… ghk…"
When they demolished a man's pride, they really did demolish it.Not that I had any idea whether he had any pride left worth salvaging…
Zhuge Liang then turned to Sima Yi, standing nearby.
"To let a mere prisoner look my lord square in the eye—you still have such a long way to go."
"…What was that?"
Violet fan in hand, Sima Yi folded her arms and shot back flatly at the provocation.
"Even had you not intervened, I had my own plan to handle it, I'll have you know. Kindly work out where you fit before inserting yourself."
"Then perhaps you ought to have moved a little faster."
Why did neither of them ever pass up the chance to land a jab?
"U-Um…"
"Hm?"
As I stood watching that murderous war of words, Pang Tong edged up beside me.
"I-I managed to extract some information from the bandits who served under Ze Rong…"
"Oh?"
When did she even find time to do that? From the look of things, Sima Yi had concentrated exclusively on working Ze Rong over, and Zhuge Liang, as I had just established, was impossible to track.
Pang Tong held out a bundle of bamboo slips.
"H-Here—these are all the bandits' testimonies, organized. You can cross-reference them against whatever Ze Rong confesses…"
"Well, I'll be. Thanks."
That meant less work for me. Grinning with satisfaction, I ruffled the hair of the pint-sized strategist standing before me.
"Ehehe…"
Then a question occurred to me, and I put it to her.
"So how exactly did you get these testimonies?"
"Did the bandits just open up and talk?"
At my eminently reasonable question, Pang Tong subtly looked away.
"W-Well… I couldn't really say…"
…
I regarded Pang Tong as she tugged her enormous hat down low, refusing to meet my eyes even once.
…Pang Tong, you are a spectacularly bad liar.
I nodded slowly, recalling how unnaturally quiet the prison had been a short while ago.
Timid as this little strategist looked, she had apparently gone and done it all. Hadn't she burned Oldolgol's soldiers alive by the score, back during the Nanman campaign?
In any case, a job well done was a job well done, so I gave her head a gentle tap and said,
"Good work. I'll buy you a book or two sometime."
"R-Really?! Thank you sho muchh!!"
She bit her tongue.
I simply could not bring myself to believe that this scatterbrained girl had squeezed information out of anyone.