Pacifying Jiangdong (3)
I addressed Sima Yi, who was giving off a distinctly unusual air.
"So... planning to torture him, or something?"
"W-what did you say?! Torture?!"
Ze Rong, who had been eavesdropping on our exchange from nearby, jerked so violently at my words that he looked ready to spring clean off the floor.
"What in the world are you saying! Torture!"
Apparently his own unpleasant future had just flashed before his eyes, for Ze Rong clutched the bars of his cell and wailed.
Yan Baihu had claimed the man had been left to rot in a cell for days, and judging by the stench now billowing off him, it was true. Whew. That was a little strong. The women around me only ever gave off fragrances sweet as flowers, so the contrast stood out all the more.
BANG──!!
"Hurrk!"
The very instant I wrinkled my nose at the sight of Ze Rong, Lü Bu brought her Sky Piercer Halberd crashing against the bars.
She snarled at him, that lovely face of hers scrunched in disgust.
"Hey, back off. Can't you read the room?"
"But—"
"'But' nothing. Open that mouth one more time and I'll knock every last tooth out of it."
"...!"
A tooth-pulling operation performed personally by Lü Bu, at that.
...Wouldn't she just club his mouth and shell the teeth out like kernels off a corncob? Heh. That was a pretty good line, if I do say so myself.
"......"
In any case, Ze Rong — having grasped that Lü Bu was precisely the sort of person who meant every word she said — nodded along, his face trembling with fear.
Watching him, Lü Bu's expression curdled all over again.
"Ugh, just watching him nod is ticking me off again. Maybe I should hit him."
"...!"
Ze Rong clamped his mouth shut and stared at her, wide-eyed, as if to demand what more she could possibly want from him.
Naturally, Lü Bu's mood soured further at the sight.
"Look at those eyes bugging out. Want me to gouge 'em?"
"......"
When she decided to hate someone, she hated them good and proper. Give it time and she'd probably be ordering him to simply endure it — complaining that the sight of him breathing was getting on her nerves.
Faced with the pure, uncut gangster that was Lü Bu, Ze Rong promptly turned as docile as a lamb, dropping his gaze and keeping his mouth firmly sealed.
But she was not the type to leave it there.
"Hey. You reek, so go curl up in that far corner over there."
"Hurk...!"
Ze Rong was clearly seething at the insult, but well aware of the gulf in strength between them, he silently did as he was told.
"Mmm... much better with him out of sight," Sima Yi murmured in a tone of deep satisfaction.
Then, at my question, she gave a small shake of her head.
"To answer your question first... yes. That's right."
"But don't worry yourself. Nothing so drastic as death will be happening to him."
Suppressing a shudder, I left behind Ze Rong — who looked to be straining with the effort of not interjecting — and threw out another question.
"Well... you do know Her Majesty called dibs on him first, right?"
I couldn't help wondering whether she'd take offense at the thought of me laying hands on the ingredients (?) she meant to cook with.
"She ordered us to bring him back alive — she never said one word about not laying a finger on him, now did she?"
Sima Yi fired back in a single breath, as though she'd seen the question coming from a mile away.
"As I have told you before, politics is an endeavor where the choice of every single word matters immensely."
"......"
"People are creatures who will worm their way into whatever gaps lie between the lines of a sentence. Do you truly believe an emperor who has seen countless such people wouldn't know that much?"
Well... no. She wouldn't.
Her Majesty would grant me free rein to do as I pleased and pour everything out for me without the slightest reserve — yet toward anyone other than me, she revealed a side that was ruthless and calculating to a genuinely frightening degree.
The prime example being how she had swept away the officials who had once locked horns with me, dressing each removal up with whatever pretext happened to be convenient.
She kept any bureaucrat who had voiced so much as one unfavorable opinion of me under constant surveillance, and the instant the man made some trivial slip of the tongue, she would seize on it as grounds and banish him to some far-flung corner of the realm.
Quite the contrast to the fond little look of how adorable she'd sent my way back when unfamiliar palace etiquette had me stammering like a fool.
Sima Yi let slip a soft laugh.
"If anything, Her Majesty might be disappointed in us for not laying a hand on him."
"......"
At her words, a certain scene rose unbidden in my mind.
'Hm... to think you would not touch a single hair on the head of the man who tried to have you assassinated, even with him standing right before your eyes.'
'Your Majesty?'
'I suppose that is the full measure of your devotion to me. How mildly disappointing.'
...Why was it that I couldn't deny any of it, however little sense it made?
The world of a woman in love was truly an unfathomable place.
Just to be safe, I asked once more.
"You're really not going to kill him?"
"I told you not to worry, didn't I? I am not in the habit of absurdly killing people by botching my strength control — unlike a certain someone."
"Is that so."
At Sima Yi's barbed little remark, I turned my head.
"......"
"Ahem."
Seo Yeo and Lü Bu.
The two of them, with guilty consciences, spun their gazes away and feigned perfect indifference the moment our eyes met.
Well — fair enough. Those two had gone and absurdly killed the assassin... Zhang Kaiyang, was it? And because of that, our little chick strategists had spent several days burning the midnight oil without a wink of sleep.
Back then, even my urging them to pace themselves and rest now and then had gone in one ear and out the other.
I could excuse Zhuge Liang, a born workhorse to the bone, but watching even Sima Yi — ordinarily so scrupulous about her own condition — and Pang Tong, who loved nothing more than idling away her hours with books, buried in the work around the clock had been quite the remarkable sight.
Tracking down the mastermind in the end, after every last clue had vanished into the labyrinth — that much was genuinely impressive, I'll grant.
Not that I gave a damn what became of a bandit who made his living robbing defenseless commoners and backstabbing everyone within reach.
"Fine. Do as you please. I won't stand in the way."
"Wonderful."
The moment Sima Yi smiled faintly at my answer, Ze Rong burst out shouting.
"W-wait, I beg you! Allow me to make a proposal!"
"Hm?"
When I turned my head at the shout, Lü Bu's face scrunched up yet again.
"I told you to shut it and stay put, didn't I? Does my word count for nothing?"
"Hurk...!"
Apparently intent on enforcing her own decree, Lü Bu took a spear from the guard and moved to open the cell door.
Left alone, Ze Rong looked set to become another Zhang Kaiyang — that is, a person (formerly one, anyway) — so I hurriedly intervened.
"Lü Bu, hold on."
"Hm?"
"Keep that up and you'll kill another one."
"......"
Hearing me out, Lü Bu held her silence for a moment before speaking.
"...Can't I hit him just once?"
"You hit him 'just once' last time — and he died."
And that had been a strike to the ribs, mind you. And she meant to hit his face with power like that? Is there a surer recipe anywhere for turning a man into a vegetable?
Not that I'd care whether that bastard ended up as a turnip or not — it just couldn't happen right now.
Lü Bu rolled her eyes this way and that, hunting for words.
"That's... that was..."
"Just come over here. I'm curious what you'll come up with anyway."
"...Fine."
Having finally bent, Lü Bu shot Ze Rong one more glare, then muttered.
"...Maybe I ought to learn exactly how hard a person can be hit without dying."
"Guh..."
As Ze Rong choked on his own breath at that murderous remark, I asked in the calmest voice I could muster.
"So — this proposal of yours?"
"...My countless hidden treasures of gold and silver! I'll hand over every last piece!"
"Ah..."
Hearing that, I tilted my head.
What an utterly bandit-like proposal.
"I'm hardly the sort whose eyes light up at wealth"... or at least, that wasn't an answer I could give in good conscience. I was an ordinary man too, after all.
If someone offered me money, I had every confidence I'd accept it with a hearty 'why, thank you very much.'
...The only problem being that I was already rolling in wealth as things stood.
I slept warm at night and ate my fill by day — there was no call to be grasping for more.
Human greed knows no bounds, as the saying goes, and that is precisely why those who gorge themselves insatiably are destined in the end to meet their ruin.
Hm... well, I suppose I could always collect it and pad the treasury with it.
If Ze Rong was still the man I remembered, he had spent long, long years living off plunder — his hidden hoard was bound to be considerable.
"Very well. The torture is postponed by two days."
"W-what? A mere two days?!"
Ze Rong was visibly dumbfounded that the fortune he had scraped together over years of thieving was apparently worth exactly two days' reprieve.
Watching his reaction, I broke into a grin.
"Don't like it? Then say nothing — it's all the same to me."
"......"
"You'll be telling us everything sooner or later anyway."
There is a saying, after all — water always knows the answer. ...The only trouble being that whatever awaited him here promised to be far crueler than water.
I turned back to Sima Yi.
"Since it's come up, better to get this sorted quickly. Think you can manage?"
"The plan was to begin tomorrow regardless... Yes. Sooner rather than later suits me perfectly."
To the man concerned, this was blood-draining conversation, and Ze Rong cried out in haste.
"Th-then what am I supposed to do!"
"Information."
"...I beg your pardon?"
I opened my mouth, level and unhurried.
"You never know. Spill every last name of the scum who've so much as brushed shoulders with you — and my mind might yet change."
Having said that much, I added a final word by way of reminder.
"For the record, I intend to remain in Jiangdong for quite some time."
"......"
"How soundly you make it through that stretch — well, the choice is all yours."
I addressed Ze Rong, who appeared to be thinking something over for his very life.
"That was a long silence. Struggling to decide, are we?"
"W-wait, just a moment—!"
"Then take today to mull it over at your leisure."
With that said, I gave the little chick strategist's head a gentle pat.
"I'll come by again tomorrow."
"...Hmph. Then go, and be quick about it."
Sima Yi answered curtly, then murmured something to the female aide I had assigned to her side.
Why did the soldier setting off to handle the torture look so terribly at home?
Don't tell me this isn't her first time?
Oh, come off it.
Our little chick strategist was not remotely that terrifying a girl.
...Probably.