Zhang Song (1)
Liu Yan of Yi Province — a man I've mentioned plenty of times before.
That old man had gone down to Yi Province from the very start with his heart pitch-black with ambition.
Someone who had long since forgotten any loyalty to the Han and begun acting purely for his own power.
In the original history, for all that dark ambition, he surprisingly managed to live quite a long life.
He went down to Yi Province, indulged his lust for power, then died a pathetic, lonely death — a thoroughly forgettable character.
In the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, he only makes a brief cameo, ordering the Peach Garden siblings to go put down the Yellow Turbans, and that's the end of him.
After descending to Yi Province, he dies at some point and hands his position over to Liu Zhang.
Hearing only that much, you might think Liu Yan's goal of building his own kingdom had succeeded — but the real trouble starts right after.
The problem was that his successor, Liu Zhang, turned out to be far more incompetent than anyone expected.
He could do nothing against Zhang Lu, who had seized the Hanzhong region, and just watched his national strength gnawed away, until at last he became the kind of ruler who paid tribute out of sheer terror that Cao Cao might invade Yi Province.
Then one day, as the pressure from Zhang Lu filled Liu Zhang with dread, he called for countermeasures — and one man stepped boldly forward, declaring he would solve the Zhang Lu problem.
Zhang Song.
The man who would formally fire the opening shot of the conquest of Yi Province.
And the description of Zhang Song's appearance in that scene was, frankly, merciless to the point of excess.
A bulging forehead, a flattened nose, lips that exposed his buck teeth.
He was said to stand less than five chi tall — barely four feet.
And his voice was described as ringing like a bronze bell, which only makes me wonder what on earth could possibly come out of Zhang Song.
What grudge did Luo Guanzhong harbor to design a character that way?
...Wait. Could it be because of that?
As I recalled Zhang Song's original deeds, my thoughts arrived at a certain conclusion, and I tilted my head.
Zhang Song.
He was a man who, disillusioned with his own lord, went shopping for a new one — someone worthy of receiving the whole of Yi Province as a gift.
To put it crudely, he was a traitor actively selling out his own country.
Luo Guanzhong, being a man of his era, placed enormous weight on the concept of loyalty, and you can sense a certain contempt bleeding into his portrayal of a man who betrayed his lord.
Zhang Song's defining traits as depicted in the Romance: ugly, short, clever but utterly tactless.
If he'd had any tact at all, he wouldn't have gone around scratching at Cao Cao's pride by calling a book Cao Cao herself wrote a plagiarized forgery.
When Zhang Song came to visit, Cao Cao paraded her armies before him and declared with all her chest:
'I have crushed every enemy who dared stand in my way, and climbed to this seat by my own strength!'
Even heard cold, it's the boast of someone swollen with arrogance.
And Zhang Song answered her like this:
'I know all about it. Your encounter with Lü Bu at Puyang, your encounter with Zhang Xiu at Wancheng, your encounter with Zhou Yu at Red Cliffs, your encounter with Guan Yu at Huarong Road, and your encounter with Ma Chao at Tong Pass — I know them all.'
At Wancheng, Cao Cao lusted after a widow and lost her own kin and her bodyguard general. At Red Cliffs, Zhou Yu's fire attack burned her countless soldiers to death.
At Huarong Road, a ruler of a nation bowed herself to the ground and begged for her life, and at Tong Pass she tore off her armor, cut off her own beard so no one could recognize her, and fled for her life.
As for the Lü Bu business at Puyang — that's the bit where, after Chen Gong stabbed her in the back and stole Yanzhou, the two of them brawled back and forth, and Lü Bu failed to recognize Cao Cao, letting her escape alive.
In other words, Zhang Song mocked Cao Cao by listing, one by one, every battle in which she had been utterly wrecked and nearly killed.
Verbal violence composed entirely of heavyweight facts.
In the book, Cao Cao naturally fumes with rage, and it takes a mention of even Mi Heng to talk her down — which tells you just how devastatingly hard that provocation hit.
To be fair, Zhang Song had been treated like dirt: made to wait three days straight, forced to bribe the attendants just to secure an audience.
Still, hitting back at Cao Cao that openly seems a bit much, doesn't it?
Zhang Song was later moved by Liu Bei's kindness, plotted from within Yi Province, was caught by Liu Zhang, and lost his head.
Which meant there was exactly one thing for me to do.
Just as Liu Bei had, I would treat Zhang Song with lavish hospitality and win him over.
Then I'd get my hands on the treasure map — the one recording every inch of Bashu's terrain and every store of its resources.
After walking for a while, I spotted Zhao Yun waiting in front of the building where our guest was being received.
I spoke to her.
"Is he inside now?"
"Yes, my lord. As you instructed, we are entertaining him with food and drink."
It seemed my orders had been carried out to the letter.
"Good. Keep up the fine work."
"Understood."
Receiving her answer, I gave a small nod and resumed walking.
I threw the doors open and stepped inside — and there he was, the man I presumed to be Zhang Song.
A surprisingly plain impression.
And so, naturally, a moment of doubt seized me.
...Is that actually Zhang Song?
The Zhang Song I knew had a bulging forehead, buck teeth, a flattened nose, and a short, homely frame to boot.
This man was positively ordinary-looking.
I'd say he had the kind of face you'd pass a dozen of on any street back in my old life.
...Don't tell me this counts as *ugly* in this world?
Because if so, that's mildly traumatic.
Setting the question aside for the moment, I addressed the plainly featured woman before me.
"Are you the envoy of Liu Yan?"
"I am."
The plain-faced woman bowed politely.
I'd worried she might rub me the wrong way from the start, the way Cao Cao did, but thankfully we were off to a good start.
"I seem to have kept you waiting quite a while."
"Not at all. I am only grateful that a mere scholar such as myself should receive such generous hospitality."
True to her word, wine and food were arrayed in lavish abundance at Zhang Song's side.
A table that looked extravagant at a glance.
Deciding I ought to at least fill my stomach once business was done, I took my seat and spoke.
"I hear you've come from Shu bearing tribute. A hard journey, in this bitter cold."
"......"
"Now then. Let me hear it. What business brings you to me?"
Having offered my pleasantry, I asked the question in earnest.
Zhang Song answered in a courteous voice.
"Yes, my lord. My liege requests reinforcements to stand against Zhang Lu of Hanzhong."
"Reinforcements..."
So she's leading with the official reason, then.
Honestly, even if that were the whole of her purpose, the proposal cost me nothing.
If I swallowed Hanzhong, Yi Province would lie within my reach at any moment.
I could march from Jing Province into Yi Province, but the more avenues of attack, the better.
Even the Art of War says it's wise to divide a defender's attention so their forces can never concentrate, no?
And yet Liu Yan surely understood this as well as I did. Why play such a self-defeating move?
With Liu Zhang, I could shrug it off — of course he would. But at the very least, that scheming old serpent Liu Yan was not the sort to welcome any situation that put his own power at risk.
...Hmm. Is the situation in Yi Province more chaotic than I'd assumed?
I had been gathering intelligence, but Liu Yan was so pathologically secretive that information was vanishingly scarce.
He controlled most of the merchant traffic carrying goods in and out — that says everything.
The Bashu region was, from the ground up, brutal terrain for anyone trying to come or go.
Ringed on every side by mountains with a broad, fertile plain spread across the center — a fortress bestowed by heaven itself.
Unless you were the protagonist of some espionage thriller, prying out meaningful intelligence from there was nearly impossible.
At best, I got tidbits about commodity prices or how the common folk were living.
But I couldn't simply wash my hands of it either, so I had done my utmost regardless.
"......"
Well — that was a problem I could solve by charming the woman in front of me.
I said to Zhang Song, who had raised the matter of reinforcements:
"Nothing could be easier. Let me examine the tribute you've brought, and I will send word that your request is granted."
Bashu lived up to its name — it seemed wealthy indeed.
The tribute chests brimmed with gold, pearls, silk, and every manner of precious goods.
This much would be a genuine windfall for my treasury; refusing would have felt almost churlish.
You could feel just how desperately Liu Yan had staked everything on this offer.
...Is something *really* going on over there?
Zhang Song, reading my expression, bowed politely at the waist.
"We are grateful for your grace. My liege will surely rejoice as well."
"There's no need for that."
I waved a hand, then spoke in an even voice before she could rise from her seat.
"You've traveled a long way through this freezing weather. Stay a few days before you go."
"...Would that truly be acceptable?"
"It would."
Stay, and hand over that treasure map on your way out.
Hiding such idle thoughts, I set about entertaining my guest in earnest.