Shuchun (5)
The next morning. Having spent yet another night of utter frenzy, I pushed myself upright and stared blankly into the empty air. Naturally, sprawled around me were Cao Cao and Seo Yeo — the two women who had "entertained" me the night before — both fast asleep.
...Counting only the women I had held in my arms, there were already three. The rate of increase felt far too fast for comfort — like some farmer sowing seed in spring and hauling in the harvest come autumn. Having spent the past years winning the favor of one remarkable figure after another, I now found myself in a state of considerable tension.
Just think about it. How many people were currently expressing romantic interest in me — and how many more if I included the ones whose feelings were merely ambiguous? I could not shake off the uneasy premonition.
Three or so was nothing; in this era, any man with a scrap of power was expected to keep at least that many, so it hardly counted as a problem. Ten... would also be fine. In the original history, Cao Cao alone had kept no fewer than fifteen wives — what was ten beside that?
...Wait. Was I, against all expectation, actually fine with this? Even if I kept adding women without compunction, I might earn the name of lecher, but it hardly seemed likely I would be condemned for it...
'Do not forget that We are always waiting for you.'
Ah. Right. Her. The one who had backed me without wavering ever since I drove Dong Zhuo out of Luoyang.
'Come now, did We not tell you to call Us by Our courtesy name when the two of us are alone?'
'...Your Majesty.'
'Go on, then.'
Recalling Liu Bian, Emperor of Han, I could feel nothing but worry. Even if the situation spiraled to the very worst, Seo Yeo would keep my head on my shoulders, but... how on earth was I supposed to handle this?
Just as I was sinking into that dilemma, a rustle sounded beside me, and Cao Cao stirred upright.
"...Hm? You look like a man with quite a lot on his mind."
Sitting up, Cao Cao pressed herself against me with practiced ease. Having done... that... with me the day before, she was, naturally, entirely naked.
At the warmth against my back, I muttered, "Don't cling to me like that. What am I supposed to do if I get branded a lecher again?"
"Hehe. Then we simply roll around again, that's all."
"..."
Cao Cao cooed and fawned as if to say, and what of it? Right — this was who Cao Cao had always been. Someone who could dish out every flavor of lewd teasing without a shred of embarrassment over any of it. A heaven-and-earth difference from Seo Yeo or Lü Bu, who flinched in wide-eyed shock every time I made an advance after that night.
"I've lost count of how many times I blacked out yesterday."
"..."
"I won't deny it was the greatest experience of my life."
Having recited this thoroughly lecherous line, Cao Cao asked me once more, "So, what had you so troubled?"
"...Hmm."
I debated for a moment whether this was something I could say aloud, then concluded that we were, at this point, fully in the same boat, and spoke in a deliberately casual tone. "Her Majesty the Emperor harbors romantic feelings for me."
"Hoo... Now that is an interesting piece of news."
Had a few of those blockheaded high officials overheard it, they would have toppled over in shock — but Cao Cao simply accepted it without batting an eye, her gaze brightening with interest.
"But, well... have I not already taken several women into my bed?"
"Hm. And?"
"I've been worrying over what Her Majesty might do about it."
Judging by everything I had witnessed of the Emperor so far, even if I backed off, I doubted She would simply give up. Which meant it would come down, inevitably, to Her making advances on me — and I dreaded what reaction She might have upon learning that I had already bound myself to other women.
'We shall not forgive those thieving wenches who covet what is Ours.'
She might bare her anger, plain and simple. Or else—
'We would kill you, and then follow you in death.'
—She might speak those words while gazing at me with eyes that could no longer focus. Either possibility was entirely plausible, and that was precisely what frightened me.
"So that was it."
Hearing my worries, Cao Cao gave a wry little laugh. "Worry not. That problem is easier to solve than you'd think."
"Easily solved, you say?"
"Indeed."
When I asked back with a puzzled look, Cao Cao answered in a perfectly level voice. "First, knock her over."
"..."
What on earth was that supposed to mean? The answer, beyond anything I had imagined, made my brain simply stop.
Whether I reacted or not, Cao Cao kept going. "Ah — though I suppose She may pounce on you first."
"...And then what exactly am I supposed to do?"
Resolving to hear her out to the end, I pressed for the rest. Still, if the Cao Cao herself was the one saying it, there had to be some deep design behind it. I trusted the mind of Cao Cao — portrayed as brilliant in every Three Kingdoms adaptation ever made.
"What do you mean, how?" said Cao Cao. "The stage has been set; all that remains is to thrash about like a beast in heat."
"Just as you did yesterday."
"..."
"I don't consider myself the sort to kneel before anyone... but you, my dear, are on another level entirely."
Oblivious to my bewilderment, Cao Cao pressed on. "They say if you perform well in the night's work, the side dishes change the next morning."
Pressing her body tighter against mine, she whispered, "Of all the bawdy jokes the soldiers trade, that one stuck with me the most."
Apparently every army enjoyed its dirty talk in equal measure. But what did that have to do with anything?
"Do you know what a woman wants from her lover or her husband?"
"What?"
"Love."
Isn't that word a little too vague? What specific act was she actually describing? When my face still betrayed my incomprehension, Cao Cao said, as though I were something endearing, "Holding your hands in hers. Gazing into your eyes. Whispering words of affection without end."
"..."
Now this was advice worth carving into my heart.
True to her own prescription, Cao Cao murmured into my ear in a honey-sweet voice, "Is that not precisely what you did for me last night?"
Why is it sexual harassment again? I exhaled a sigh. "Why does every conversation slide in that direction?"
"Hehe. Because that is exactly when two people focus on nothing but each other," Cao Cao replied in a tone of perfect nonchalance. "Hold Her Majesty close enough that she drowns in happiness."
"Mm..."
"And if you doubt yourself, feel free to practice on the women nearby first."
She made it sound like grinding experience in a game. What was I supposed to do, level up? ...Still, Cao Cao was right about one thing: practice was absolutely necessary. Her Majesty had weathered every breed of political struggle since childhood, and her knack for catching other people's lies was superb. Hadn't she once scolded me, back when I was in Xiliang, because the letters I sent her felt hollow of true feeling? Thinking on it, the Emperor's gifts as a leader were exceptional — at the very least, it meant no scheming minister would ever make a fool of her.
Which meant the single most important point was this: find what I genuinely, truly found beautiful in her, and never stop whispering words of love.
...Considering Her Majesty's flower-bud looks, that part wouldn't be difficult at all.
Just as Cao Cao had prescribed, I opened my mouth to practice. "Cao Cao, did you know?"
"Hm? What is it you're saying?"
"I've been too embarrassed to say it until now, but Mengde — I have always found you beautiful."
"...!"
At my words, Cao Cao's eyes widened slightly. "...Mmhm. I see it now. So this was the charm of a prickly, standoffish man."
What was that supposed to mean, all of a sudden?
"Yes — hear one thing, grasp ten. Flowery language is hardly necessary for whispering love." Having said her piece, Cao Cao continued in a voice grown even warmer. "If one has a gift for the pen, composing a poem or two wouldn't be amiss, but... simply: you are beautiful. I love you. I like you. Such plain expressions matter most of all."
As Cao Cao burrowed deeper against me, the warm scent of her skin grew richer. After sweating like that all day yesterday, not a trace of odor — instead, a faint floral fragrance drifted from her, enough to make me doubt she was the same woman I had held the night before.
"Judging by your skill, there seems little cause for worry." Still pressed against me, Cao Cao whispered softly, "...Shall we go another round?"
Wow. A truly formidable opponent. Going by her claim of blacking out who knew how many times yesterday, she had clearly felt extraordinary pleasure. Or was it precisely because of that, that she pounced all the harder? But comparing her to Seo Yeo or Lü Bu, who startled and shrank back, it was plain that Cao Cao herself simply delighted in the pleasures of the flesh. No wonder the original history had given her so many wives and children. With appetites like these, how had she lived as a maiden until now?
"Back then I knew of it only in the abstract, and there was no man who took my fancy."
"I see."
"Rather, I find myself the more curious about you." Answering my question, Cao Cao lobbed one straight back at me. "With an appetite of that magnitude, how did you live without ever laying a hand on a woman?"
"...Honestly, I wonder."
I'd like to know that myself. It was true my desires had been stoked by Hua Tuo's medicine — the sort of thing you would only find in a fantasy or wuxia tale. But was that really all there was to it? I couldn't shake the feeling that I had simply been... this kind of man, from the very beginning.
"No idea. Let's just go again."
"Mmh...!"
With a vague nod, I pulled Cao Cao into my arms and rolled across the bedding. Seo Yeo, though she had woken some time ago, was shamelessly pretending to still be asleep.
I'm telling you — that act doesn't work on me.