Return (6)
Once the Emperor's not-quite-a-threat had swept past, the Imperial Palace settled back into its usual air. I'd half expected some enormous incident to erupt at any moment, so the calm came as a surprise.
With the situation as it was, one thing at least became clear: the "twenty" Her Majesty had mentioned was the keyword that mattered most.
...How old was Her Majesty the Emperor now, again? She was certainly in her late teens, that much was sure. What year of Guangxi—Liu Bian's era name—was it now...? Times like these really made me feel how inconvenient it was that the years were counted differently here.
Ah, right. The eighth year of Guangxi—194 CE. Just as the Emperor had said, there was precious little time left before she turned twenty.
...Which meant that come next year, a mess beyond anything I could predict would break out, didn't it? Perhaps I ought to brace myself in advance...
"My son!"
Just then, a familiar voice rang out nearby. Only one person in this world would call me by so affectionate a title. I turned my head to find my grey-haired mother thundering toward me at a full sprint. I'd been mildly worried about her, but she was still going strong.
My mother—Ding Yuan, that is—had answered my request to come up to Luoyang, laying down the office of Inspector of Bing Province and taking up residence in the capital. Thankfully, Her Majesty had granted her an honorary post, so there was no danger of her being looked down on anywhere for lacking an official title.
Then again, who would dare slight the woman who had the General-in-Chief for a son? To snub the mother of the Emperor's most favored general, here in Luoyang, where the Emperor's hand reached directly? You might as well call that suicide rather than murder. If such a fool ever did appear, I'd have to live up to expectations and crack his skull open.
Stepping down as Inspector of Bing Province, my mother had marked out Zhang Yang as her successor—a name I wasn't hearing for the first time, either. Not Zhang Rang of the Ten Attendants, mind you, but Zhang Yang, the general from Bing Province. Though I'd only ever heard the name; for the life of me, I couldn't remember what the man had actually done. Had I memorized every last figure like him, I'd have deserved a doctorate in Romance of the Three Kingdoms. From the little I recalled, he'd been a man of fine character who nonetheless lost his life to a mutiny by one of his own officers—that much, and only that much, had stuck. Still, he must have had real ability, or my mother wouldn't have entrusted the post to him.
Appointing Zhang Yang as the new Inspector of Bing Province proved no trouble at all. All it took was a memorial to Her Majesty, and it sailed straight through. The Emperor, per custom, pretended to read it over once, then approved it without asking me a single question. No wonder people treated me like the power behind the throne...
My mother, who'd been charging toward me, pulled up short right in front of me, and I chided her.
"What would you do if you took a fall, running like that?"
"Well..."
"Please don't run next time."
"My son comes home and I'm supposed to stroll over at a leisurely pace? That's simply not possible!"
Unintimidated in the least, Mother aired her opinion. Her knack for brushing off my nagging was truly superb. At this rate, it was getting hard to tell which of us was the parent and which the child. I sighed inwardly, then looked at her.
"So? Was there something you needed?"
"Hm? I just came to see your face!"
Honestly, this shameless doting of hers...
Then her face took on the look of someone who'd just remembered something.
"Oh, right!"
?
I gave her a questioning look, and Mother, gazing back at me with guileless eyes, asked:
"Son."
"Yes?"
"How close are you with Her Majesty the Emperor?"
What kind of out-of-left-field question was that?
I looked at her, wordlessly asking her to explain herself. Catching that look, Mother continued.
"You know I've been receiving a great many gifts since I settled here in Luoyang?"
"Yes. You mentioned it before, didn't you?"
I'd heard much the same from her once before, after a banquet held here in the capital. The officials and magnates of Luoyang, it seemed, had launched a gift offensive against her in hopes of currying favor with me. I'd advised her then not to accept just any gift that came her way, and she had nodded along. Given that she'd praised Jia Xu at the time, she must have had plenty of help from her. Call it another exercise in social savvy. Whatever the case, I didn't think ill of Jia Xu quietly lending her strength even where no one could see.
Looking utterly at a loss, Mother spoke.
"Lately, Her Majesty has been sending far too many gifts..."
"...I'm sorry—what?"
I couldn't hide my surprise. Her Majesty wasn't in the habit of doing such things. What wind had suddenly blown in to make her act this way? Mother, it seemed, felt much as I did, her face all but on the verge of tears.
"I couldn't exactly send back gifts bestowed by the throne, so I've accepted them—but what am I supposed to do with all of this?!"
Hearing her out, I deliberated a moment, then answered.
"...Beats me?"
"Wha—?!"
At my response, Mother jolted in alarm, putting on quite the entertaining show. Having had my fun at her expense, I said with a laugh,
"I was only teasing."
"I knew it! So there is a way?"
Her face bloomed wide open, and I wobbled my head noncommittally.
"You can simply accept them."
"Oh... really?"
I answered evenly.
"Is there perhaps some gift that displeases you?"
"No, it's not that... It's just that everything is so perfectly chosen..."
Mother's voice trailed off. After the magnates' relentless gift offensive, she should have built up an immunity to ordinary wealth by now—and she was reacting like this? ...Just what sort of treasure was Her Majesty sending?
Setting the question aside, I spoke.
"Then you have nothing to worry about. Her Majesty is surely sending them without any particular intent."
"Without any particular intent...?"
Mother kept murmuring, her tone puzzled.
"...That's not like her, though..."
It was a reaction far too conspicuous to simply let pass, so having seen it, I had no choice but to ask.
"Is something the matter?"
"Hm? N-no, of course not! If my son says so, then that's how it is!"
Mother nodded quickly and seized my hand. Eyes of the very same hue—proof of the blood between us—met, and after boring into mine for a long moment, she spoke in a slightly smaller voice.
"Son."
"Yes?"
"This mother of yours trusts that her splendid son will handle things on his own, but still—you mustn't overdo it, all right?"
Having said that much, she rummaged through her breast folds and drew something out. My gaze fixed on the round, pill-like object.
"...What is that?"
"It's Good For Men!"
Having thus explained, Mother spread open my palm and set what she held upon it. Something round... The Good For Men Tonic, as Mother called it, boasted a rather peculiar hue.
As I studied the Good For Men Tonic closely, Mother said,
"Our son takes after my husband, I'd wager—he must be absolutely tremendous at night!"
...
Tremendous at what, exactly?
Could she mean... that?
I forcibly wrestled my gaze back before it could sneak downward—but Seo Yeo's, as she stood guard beside me, was not so disciplined. For an instant her eyes had slipped somewhere unwise; catching herself a beat too late, she flushed crimson and hurriedly snapped her gaze back to the front.
Just as I was sinking into embarrassment, Mother's mouth opened again.
"Still, I got it just in case, you know!"
As she said it, her eyes sparkled like the Milky Way itself. I asked,
"So this..."
"Good For Men!"
"...Where exactly did you obtain this 'Good For Men'?"
Sometimes her energy was simply too much. I genuinely wondered how she ever kept this personality in check at official functions.
"Why, this mother of yours went to a physician herself and got it!"
...
A vaguely uneasy feeling crept over me. I'd definitely felt this before. Yes—it was exactly the feeling of coming home from a family trip to find they'd bought some strange thing, insisting it was a health supplement...
"...Don't tell me you've been scammed..."
"Oh, this child! Do you have any idea who my son is? Who would dare swindle me?"
Well, fair enough. Unless someone fancied a lifetime of delightful tag with me—chasing and being chased in turn—no one would run a scam with dubious goods. I raised the round pill, still flaunting its peculiar hue, and took a sniff.
Remarkably, it had no scent at all. I'd expected some bitter, medicinal odor; this was unexpected. Did having no scent whatsoever mean the compounding was that masterful?
"I went to see a very famous physician myself and made the request personally!"
"A famous physician?"
"You'll know her too, son!"
Mother declared with the utmost confidence.
"The Divine Physician!"
...
"It's medicine compounded by none other than the great Hua Tuo herself!"
Good heavens. A Good For Men Tonic, personally compounded by that living immortal? I couldn't keep the astonishment off my face—and nearby, Seo Yeo's eyes widened, if only by a hair.
A Good For Men Tonic, made by the Divine Physician's own hand—for a man who was apparently quite something at night... It would be a lie to say I wasn't intrigued.
...And here I'd assumed the Divine Physician only took commissions to save lives. So she handles this sort of request too, huh. Color me surprised.