The Banquet (2)
As time wore on, the mood of the banquet only grew richer.
"My lord."
"Ah, there you are. Thank you."
When I held out my empty cup, Diaochan, who had been waiting on me, filled it with wine.
There I sat at the very head of the banquet hall, drinking with the most devastating beauty under heaven attending at my side...
Wasn't this basically Dong Zhuo?
"..."
Seo Yeo, for her part, was tearing a whole roasted chicken, golden brown and glistening, into bite-sized pieces and arranging them neatly on a plate for me.
Needless to say, the meat was drinking fare, meant to be savored alongside the wine.
Having beautiful women wait on my every mouthful and sip... it truly was decadent.
I was beginning to see why tyrants were forever raving about pools of wine and forests of meat.
There's nothing wrong with enjoying yourself, of course. The trick, above all else, is knowing when to stop.
"My lord."
Accepting the food Seo Yeo fed me straight from her hand, I surveyed the banquet.
"General Lü. As I have said time and again, if you overturn everything whenever your temper flares, the cleanup afterward becomes—"
Gao Shun had Lü Bu firmly by the arm and was rattling off her lecture.
Apparently Lü Bu had a history of stirring up incidents whenever she lost to her own temper.
That hair-trigger temper of hers had been toned down somewhat, but Lü Bu was still Lü Bu.
I'd heard that the longer I stayed away, the more high-strung she became.
...She's not some addict going through withdrawal, for heaven's sake.
Just as I was struck by the odd sensation of having become a living suppressor, Lü Bu spoke.
"Okay, okay, I get it—so quit nagging already."
Judging by the thoroughly fed-up look on her face, Gao Shun's words were clearly going in one ear and out the other.
Here, too, the dynamic between Lü Bu and Gao Shun was replaying itself exactly as it had in the original history.
"Lord Guan. Your last bout was magnificent. Should the opportunity arise, shall we cross blades again sometime?"
"Yes. That is my wish as well."
Zhang Liao and Guan Yu traded toasts, their conversation blooming.
Both were accomplished martial artists with the ambition to climb higher, so it was only natural they'd hit it off.
And both were the sort who understood the meaning of loyalty to one's lord—kindred spirits in that respect as well.
For a ruler, nothing is more welcome than one's generals growing close.
When you fight on the same battlefield, the side that gets along coordinates better, after all.
Those two, at least, weren't the type to cause trouble at a banquet, so I turned my head, reassured.
Truthfully, my greatest worry lay elsewhere.
Because when you think of drunkards in Romance of the Three Kingdoms, one figure springs to mind above all others.
"Man, this wine is incredible! Another bottle over here!"
Where my gaze had landed, a woman with striking black hair was putting away liquor like water.
Too impatient even to pour herself a cup, she had pressed her lips to the bottle's mouth and was chugging straight from it—and that woman was none other than Zhang Fei, Yide.
To be fair, in the historical records Zhang Fei never once caused an incident while drunk. But this world was one where the Romance and the Records mingled freely.
Which meant she was more than capable of raising hell in a drunken stupor.
Liu Bei, who had been drinking at her side, spoke up.
"Yide. Let's not cause any trouble, all right?"
"Quit your worrying! I'll take it easy!"
Having delivered the single least believable line in any drunkard's repertoire, Zhang Fei thumped her chest with a fist.
Hers was a splendid woman's figure—merely overshadowed next to Liu Bei's.
With light armor layered beneath her clothes, her chest stayed put no matter how animated her gestures.
A small part of me mourned the missed chance for a feast for the eyes, but I was the one who'd told Zhang Fei to wear that armor in the first place.
How do I put it... she's the one who got assassinated by her own subordinates, you see. It worried me.
So I'd gifted her a lightweight suit of armor by way of reward.
Zhang Fei, newly armored at my hand, had grumbled away, apparently oblivious to my intentions.
──Don't really need a thing like this...
──It's made from costly materials, sure, but if the recipient doesn't care for it, what can you do? I'll just dispose of it and recycle the—
──Actually, come to think of it, this thing is amazing!
Zhang Fei and I had traded one little comedy routine like that, and in the end she accepted my gift.
Grumbling about not needing it though she did, she wore the armor I'd given her faithfully ever after.
...The fact that the likes of Lü Bu soon began giving me looks demanding one of their own, and my expenses ballooned accordingly, shall remain a secret.
Liu Bei shot a wry smile at Zhang Fei's brazen declaration.
Thus far the banquet had flowed along without a hitch.
It would be lovely if it ended just like this.
I prayed—please—that nobody would get drunk and start something.
And then, a few minutes later—
"All this eating and drinking is getting boring!"
Zhang Fei rose from her seat.
...A bad feeling.
I shifted my gaze to see what Liu Bei, who ought to have been reining her in, was doing.
"..."
Lost in some thought or other, Liu Bei was staring blankly into her wine cup, face flushed red.
...Was she drunk?
Her oddly unfocused eyes confirmed it. Drunk, no question.
With my first line of defense, Liu Bei, neutralized by alcohol, the only person left who could stop Zhang Fei was Guan Yu.
I turned my head toward where Zhang Liao and Guan Yu sat.
Against all expectation, Guan Yu sat unmoving even as she watched Zhang Fei's antics.
Zhang Liao, too, seemed puzzled by this and asked,
"Are you certain you needn't restrain her?"
"...I see no need to step forth and spoil the revelry."
For that hopelessly rigid Guan Yu to come out with such a line.
Just as I was marveling at the power of drink, Zhang Fei bellowed,
"Let's have a wager, then! Anyone!"
"...A wager?"
Ma Chao, seated nearby, made a puzzled face.
With her right sleeve rolled up, Zhang Fei swept clear a table littered with nothing but empty dishes.
A quick-witted servant darted in and whisked the dishes off the floor.
"Loser of the arm-wrestle pays up! Simple enough, no?"
"..."
Tamer than I expected.
I'd braced for her to seize a live blade and rampage about the hall in the name of a sword dance, but arm wrestling fell comfortably within acceptable bounds.
Every general gathered here was confident of their strength, and not a soul refused Zhang Fei's proposal.
"Oh, yeah? In that case—"
"Lü Bu."
"Hm?"
I called out to Lü Bu, who had been about to barrel into the game without a shred of tact.
At the Battle of Hulao Pass, Lü Bu had a record of effortlessly driving Zhang Fei to the wall in a pure contest of strength.
What would become of the game if someone like her joined in?
I couldn't say for certain, but I knew the mood would turn awkward in a heartbeat.
I beckoned to Lü Bu, already on her feet.
"Come sit with me and just watch."
"Ah, o-okay."
Accepting my offer, Lü Bu drifted over as if under a spell and settled in beside me.
She sipped at the drink I'd poured her, demure in a way entirely unlike her usual self.
Honestly, the woman blushes at the drop of a hat.
With the lopsided powerhouse barred from entering the wager, all that remained was to watch how the arm-wrestling would unfold.
"Anyone, come at me! Don't tell me the whole lot of you is scared?!"
Full of swagger, Zhang Fei waited for a challenger.
Then someone stepped forward.
"You would be Zhang Yide?"
"Hm? That's me. Why?"
"Hmm..."
A woman with auburn hair grown long to her waist plopped herself down in front of Zhang Fei.
"That valor said to have held the Peerless Under Heaven at bay at Hulao Pass—this Sun Ce shall measure it for herself."
"Oh, right—you're the general who surrendered recently?"
Sun Ce offered no reply to Zhang Fei's words.
Zhou Yu, who had come to the banquet in Sun Ce's company, wore the pained expression of a woman wondering what had gotten into her this time.
Zhang Fei gave a nod and planted her elbow on the cleared table.
"Well then—let's see whether the tiger's cub is truly a tiger."
"Hmph."
Sun Ce's manner toward Zhang Fei was nothing like the courtesy she had shown me.
Now this was a matchup worth watching.
True, flaws of temperament had cut her life short—but Sun Ce was, after all, the one history had called the Little Conqueror.
The very fact that her moniker likened her to the Hegemon-King himself was proof enough that, in strength at least, she stood apart.
Just as Zhang Fei at Changban was famously depicted in the Romance as roaring an enemy general clean off his horse, Sun Ce too had a tale from the pacification of Jiangdong: one thunderous shout, and a startled enemy officer tumbled from his saddle, alone, and died.
There was even the account of an enemy general she'd clamped under her arm and hauled back as a captive, only to discover upon reaching the main camp that he had suffocated to death.
Two women who looked delicate at a glance yet hid monstrous strength clasped right hands and locked eyes.
Zhang Fei spoke, almost in admiration.
"Oh, well now. You're stronger than you look."
"That's my line."
They hadn't even begun, yet the two had already slipped into a trial of strength.
With grips like theirs, my hand would crumble like tofu.
Just imagining it gives me the shivers.
The Sun family's veterans—Huang Gai, Han Dang, and the rest—watched the spectacle with taut eyes.
"Mind if I give the signal?"
I asked, having observed the proceedings for a moment from the head seat.
"Sure."
"Yes."
Zhang Fei and Sun Ce both agreed.
I opened my mouth.
"Then, ready..."
In a way, this was a battle of pride.
They were pouring in so much force that their arms were visibly trembling even from where I sat.
Granting them a brief moment to ready themselves, I accepted the meat Seo Yeo held out and spoke.
"Begin."