Lang Yi Fu Gui, Xun Jin Tong Min
“Young Master Do? What important matter could you possibly have to discuss at this hour of the night…?”
Once night fell, I summoned Sima Lang. She stood there with a tense expression, palms damp with sweat—did she actually think I was about to propose or something?
“On a night when a benevolent moon rose, some insolent man pinched a child with his fingernail. From the very next day, the child’s cheekbones grew terrifyingly large. Everyone fretted over what on earth was happening, until one day a bird decided to rest atop those cheekbones. It tapped them once every day after that, and they returned to normal.”
A story with no beginning, middle, or end—no meaning, no sense, utterly impossible to grasp. Yet the moment Sima Lang heard it, she burst out laughing.
“Pfft… Are you trying to tease me? Put that whole tale together and you get Lang Yi Fu Gui, Xun Jin Tong Min. That’s our eight sisters, isn’t it?”
“You caught it in one go, just as I expected. Honestly, even I thought the story was so ridiculous I worried you’d just laugh at me for making it up.”
“How could I? In the end it means Young Master Do has memorized all our names. How could that not make me happy?”
Far from bored, Sima Lang was genuinely moved. She must have been in a foul mood after being scolded before she could even properly greet the younger sisters she had hurriedly introduced. Feeling guilty about that, I had analyzed the eight sisters’ names and crafted that nonsense story. I was simply grateful she received it so gladly.
“Lady Sima? The truth is, I called you here because I have a favor to ask. Only… it’s an extremely difficult one, so if you refuse I won’t hold it against you in the slightest.”
“As if I would ever refuse a request from Young Master Do. Speak freely, whatever it is.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. I’m about to go meet Wang Guang, and if I ask you to come along… wouldn’t that be far too rude a request to make of Lady Sima?”
“…”
Just as expected, her expression hardened the instant the words left my mouth. No ordinary person would willingly go near the man who had once tried to assault her.
“May I… ask the reason?”
Even so, Sima Lang remained composed. More than her hatred for Wang Guang, she was curious why I would bring such a thing up at all.
“I’m trying to persuade Wang Guang not to punish Hu Moban, but my own influence isn’t enough. You, however—he has a crime against you on his conscience, so I doubt he can simply ignore you.”
“Why would you ask me for something like that? You of all people must know Dong Zhuo’s real reason for sending Hu Moban.”
“Of course I know. But even if Wang Guang has committed crimes, I don’t believe he’s the sort to betray the coalition. Forcing him to harm Hu Moban himself might make him snap completely—that would be far more dangerous. You think so too, don’t you?”
“…”
Those were her own words from before. Still, it was probably too much to ask.
After all, just seeing Wang Guang’s face would reopen the trauma of that day…
“I have a condition.”
“What condition?”
“That meal at our clan residence we never finished last time… I’d like to invite you again. Will you come?”
“That’s no trouble at all. But are you truly all right with only that? If the request is too painful, I can always ask someone else—”
“You’ll be at my side, won’t you, Young Master Do? As long as you are, I wouldn’t fear standing before the King of Hell himself.”
“…”
Truly, she possessed a character even the Black Mountain Bandits would admire. How on earth had such a gentle eldest sister ended up with a vicious younger sibling like Sima Yi…
I took her hand firmly as a sign of trust. Sima Lang lowered her head in embarrassment, yet never once pulled away from my touch.
Sob… sob…
By the time Sima Lang and I arrived at Wang Guang’s tent, the sound of young girls weeping drifted from inside.
What do you suppose that is, Young Master Do? Have Governor Wang’s family come?
The opposite. Those will be Hu Moban’s daughters.
In other words, Wang Guang’s nieces had come to beg their uncle for clemency. The two young daughters of Hu Moban clung to their maternal uncle’s pant legs and wailed.
“Uncle! We beg you—please don’t abandon our father!”
“There is nothing I can do. Who could have known Dong Zhuo would resort to such a vile scheme? But this is a matter of the state. If I do not behead your father, that itself would be aiding a traitor.”
“How can you be so cruel, Uncle! Don’t you feel any pity for Mother, who will be left alone? You’re only throwing Father away to prove your loyalty to Yuan Shao!”
“…”
Wang Guang could not bring himself to answer. Even a man who went around assaulting noble young ladies of great houses was still weak before his own family.
“Leave. Or I will have you dragged out.”
“Hic… You can’t do this, Uncle! We’ll resent you for the rest of our lives!”
Hu Moban’s two daughters left those words of curse against Wang Guang and departed. Alone once more, Wang Guang sank into heavy thought. I turned to Sima Lang.
I’ll go in first.
Are you sure? Governor Wang doesn’t look in any state for a normal conversation…
We still have to try. With Hu Moban’s daughters having just stirred his conscience, this might be our last chance.
Give him any longer and he would invent justifications for his choice simply to escape the guilt. If I meant to change history, it had to be now.
“Lord Wang Guang?”
“Wh-who’s there?! I ordered that no one be admitted!”
Appearing unannounced inside the tent of the Governor of Henei was enough to startle anyone—especially when the intruder was the very man he would gladly tear limb from limb for having once kidnapped him.
“You’ve got some nerve, you bastard. Do you even know where you are, barging in like this?”
“I’m sorry. I happened to overhear the conversation outside and simply couldn’t walk past.”
“Don’t overstep your place! I may have accepted you as a fellow member of the coalition, but don’t you dare think I’ve forgotten the grudge from that day.”
“I think it’s better you don’t forget. That way you’ll keep carrying the guilt over Lady Sima as well, won’t you?”
“…”
Mentioning Sima Lang made him lower his tail at once. Of course, the murderous glare and killing intent he still radiated suggested persuasion would not be easy.
“Those were Hu Moban’s daughters, weren’t they? Are you truly going to behead your own brother-in-law with your own hands?”
“Yes, to you I must look like nothing but trash who preys on noble young ladies. But this Wang Guang has taken up the sword for righteousness for more than ten years already. How could I let family affection ruin the great cause here?”
“Let’s speak frankly. You just don’t want the rest of the coalition to suspect you, right? If no one suspected you at all, would you still refuse to spare Hu Moban?”
“Don’t talk nonsense. Do you still not understand why Dong Zhuo sent my brother-in-law?”
“To drive a wedge between you and Yuan Shao, of course. But what if Yuan Shao himself said he would look the other way?”
“In that case…”
Was his resolve finally wavering? Still, I must not forget—my Intelligence was currently lower than Lu Bu’s.
“Utterly unconvincing.”
“Yes, yes… I figured as much, so I prepared a proxy. Lady Sima!”
“…!?”
At the words “Lady Sima,” Wang Guang’s eyes shook violently. The tent flap was drawn aside and Sima Lang stepped into view.
“S-Sima Boda? Why are you here…?”
“…”
The unexpected reunion left both Wang Guang and Sima Lang equally flustered. Even though she had steeled her resolve, seeing him before her eyes seemed to drag the old trauma back to the surface.
Shashak…
She immediately hid behind me. With only her eyes peeking out, trembling in fear, Wang Guang’s heart softened and he hung his head.
“No matter how many times I apologize for the past, there are no words that can suffice. Of course I know that will not ease Sima Boda’s anger.”
“You’re right. For the rest of my life I’ll lie awake at night remembering that day. But Governor Wang of Henei? If you listen to Young Master Do’s words, I might be able to accept a little of that apology.”
“You know it’s impossible. To be honest, I don’t want to behead Hu Moban either. But Yuan Benchu is not the easy man you all seem to think.”
“Could you at least give us time to persuade him?”
“…”
Wang Guang wrestled with himself. He might not trust my words, but he could not crush the courage of Sima Lang who had come before him in person.
“Very well. If you succeed in persuading Yuan Benchu, this Wang Guang will follow that decision.”
We had finally managed to change Wang Guang’s mind. Yet a question still lingered for Sima Lang.
“Young Master Do? How exactly do you plan to persuade Yuan Benchu? I won’t be of much help this time.”
“Have you forgotten I hold the one card that can move Yuan Shao? If it’s a request from Lord Yu Bi, even Yuan Shao will eventually give in.”
Did she think I had forced down the bitter taste and linked Yu Bi with Yuan Shao for no reason? Like it or not, once we were settled north of the Yellow River, escaping Yuan Shao’s influence was impossible. Better to stick thoroughly to the pro-Yuan Shao line and reap the benefits. Above all, Yuan Shao was completely smitten with Yu Bi—it couldn’t get any easier.
“Y-you mean ask Magistrate Yu? Isn’t that… rather rude to Magistrate Yu?”
“How is it rude? If Wang Guang snaps and ruins the greater plan, the entire coalition suffers. Naturally Lord Yu Bi, as a member of that coalition—”
“No! Magistrate Yu isn’t so shortsighted that she wouldn’t understand the greater good. It’s just… for Young Master Do of all people to personally tell Magistrate Yu to go persuade Yuan Shao feels a bit too harsh, doesn’t it?”
“…?”
Where exactly was the harsh part? Yu Bi and Yuan Shao were already deep in a thick mutual crush—asking her to put in a single good word for us couldn’t be that difficult, could it?
“Haa… Young Master Do, are you deliberately pretending not to understand?”
“I genuinely don’t get it… Anyway, I never properly thanked you, Lady Sima. I never could have persuaded Wang Guang alone.”
“It was your request, Young Master Do. And it wasn’t particularly bad for me either. That story I told earlier… every word of it was true.”
“…?”
Sima Lang smiled bitterly and lowered her eyes. So she really had been waking from nightmares because of Wang Guang?
“Lady Sima? Why didn’t you tell me something like that?”
“I was afraid you’d worry over nothing. You have great work to do—if someone like me became a hindrance… But it turned out well. Facing Governor Wang directly like this, the fear isn’t as strong as before.”
“That’s a relief, but still…”
Without thinking I took both her hands and offered what comfort I could. Sima Lang pressed her lips shut in embarrassment, yet soon her fingers moved ever so slightly, accepting the touch.
“What… are the two of you doing?”
“…!?”
Why was Yu Bi wandering around outside the tents in the middle of the night? At her sudden appearance, Sima Lang and I both yanked our hands free as if neither of us wanted to be first and spun around.
“We were just talking for a moment.”
“Were you not just now fondling each other’s fingertips?”
“Lord Yu Bi, you know I’m skilled in medicine. Lady Sima said her digestion was poor, so I was simply working her meridians.”
“…”
Yu Bi closed her mouth as if to say that was the lamest excuse she had ever heard. Then she puffed out both cheeks like a poisonous toad and glared at me.
“Th-then I shall take my leave. Magistrate Yu, please rest well.”
Sima Lang fled in a fluster. Now it was just Yu Bi and me—time for another round of bickering.
“Ugh… My stomach does not feel well either.”
“Is that so? Maybe a light run would settle it?”
“W-why will you not rub my fingers as well?”
“…”
That had been a complete throwaway line, yet she was taking it seriously. Left with no choice, I stepped closer to Yu Bi, took her fingertips, and began kneading them.
“Feeling any better now?”
“Not in the least. Were you with Lady Sima Lang again?”
“I needed Lady Sima’s help persuading Wang Guang. And actually, I need a little of your help too, Lord Yu Bi.”
“Ah—! That tickles.”
Come to think of it, hadn’t I been massaging her fingers for far too long? She was the one who had asked for the massage, yet somehow I was the one looking more eager.
“What is it you wish to ask of me?”
“Well… could you go to Yuan Shao and ask him not to kill Hu Moban? Honestly, Dong Zhuo practically sent him to be executed on purpose, didn’t he? Earlier Wang Guang’s nieces came begging for their father’s life, crying their eyes out—it was so pitiful I couldn’t stand watching.”
“Good grief… Truthfully I also thought it was rather excessive. But the coalition’s morale is more important right now, so Lord Yuan Shao had no choice but to make that decision, did he not?”
“I understand, but if this makes Wang Guang turn his grudge on Dong Zhuo and launch some reckless attack, it would be a disaster. Isn’t it better for Wang Guang to be a little suspected than for the coalition to lose its first engagement?”
“That is true, but… very well. Tomorrow morning I shall speak to Lord Yuan Shao—”
“Tomorrow morning? What ‘tomorrow morning’? Go tell him right now.”
Who knew when Wang Guang might decide to kill Hu Moban, and she was talking so casually? Yu Bi’s eyes bulged as if they might pop out.
“W-what are you saying? How can you send me to Yuan Benchu at this late hour?”
“Because the matter is that urgent…”
“Lord Do Yeop, you are truly strange! Are you saying you do not mind if I am alone with another man at this hour?”
“When you performed that lord-and-retainer ceremony before, wasn’t it around this time as well? You two are close anyway—”
“How can you equate those two things?!”
Just as Sima Lang had predicted, Yu Bi was thoroughly furious. She trembled with extreme moral outrage, looking ready to burst into tears at any second.
“I don’t like it either.”
“You truly cannot do this. Every time you only try to send me to Yuan Benchu… W-what did you just say?”
“I said I don’t want to send you to Yuan Shao at this hour either, Lord Yu Bi. But this is truly important. I can’t explain exactly, but if something goes wrong with Wang Guang, we all suffer. I don’t care if everyone else goes wrong—you cannot be among them. That’s why I’m making this unreasonable request.”
“Ah… Is it truly for that reason? All of this… for my sake…”
“Of course! So hurry up and go tell Yuan Shao.”
“…”
That much should get through to her! Yu Bi hesitated a little longer, then decided to trust me and headed for Yuan Shao’s tent.
“Lady Yu? What brings you at this hour?”
Yuan Shao tilted his head at the sight of Yu Bi visiting so late. I lurked outside the tent, watching the situation inside.
“Well… I have something I must say to you.”
“Come, sit. I was just thinking of having a cup of tea.”
“T-tea, you say? Good grief… I grew up so poor I do not even know the taste of tea.”
“Then you can learn starting now.”
“…”
A fierce battle of wills—Yu Bi trying to deliver her message and leave, Yuan Shao trying to keep her there by any means. But Yu Bi was the one at a disadvantage, so she eventually had to sit.
“What did you come to say?”
“Well… could the execution of Hu Moban not be postponed a little?”
“And why is that? You know as well as I that Dong Zhuo is trying to sow discord among us. Wang Guang has already declared he will behead Hu Moban himself rather than fall for that scheme.”
“Ugh… I know that as well. It’s just that forcing him to behead his own brother-in-law and earn the hatred of that family feels too cruel to Governor Wang of Henei. If Yuan Benchu shows he trusts Governor Wang to the very end, would not the suspicions against him fade on their own?”
“Your heart is far too soft for these chaotic times. Though that is part of Lady Yu’s charm, I suppose. Let me see… how about we discuss it over a cup of tea first?”
“…”
In the end Yu Bi was trapped for a full shichen—two whole hours—of tea time with Yuan Shao. At the very last moment, Yuan Shao declared he would spare Hu Moban.
When the long tea session finally ended and Yu Bi emerged from the tent, a single tear of shame rolled from her utterly exhausted eyes.
“Sniff… Are you satisfied now?”
And with that she hurled a stone straight at my conscience. The resentment of having been forced into that situation came through loud and clear.
“I’m sorry, Lord Yu Bi.”
All I could do was reach out a finger and wipe away her tear. In silence the two of us walked back to the tents.
Yet before dawn broke the next morning, Hu Moban was executed.