The White Peach Sword

Dong Zhuo appointed me as Liu Xie's bodyguard and granted me leave to wear a sword in her presence. He was probably fretting that the emperor, with deposition looming, might stake everything on one last desperate gamble.

And so the assassination of Dong Zhuo — a card I had all but discarded — came back into play. Since Dong Zhuo would obviously stick to Liu Xie like glue, he had effectively placed his own life in the hands of the man standing right beside her.

Then, without missing a beat, he swapped his personal guard from Hua Xiong to Lü Bu. That arrangement favored Dong Zhuo alone.

I could betray Dong Zhuo, but I would never betray Liu Xie. I could beat Hua Xiong, but I could not beat Lü Bu.

In the end, Dong Zhuo had found the optimal move that protected both himself and Liu Xie. This was completely, thoroughly not good.

"Use this sword."

Liu Xie had a eunuch fetch a blade and held it out to me. It was an outstanding famous sword, its edge honed to a razor's keenness.

Even so, taking it up still left me nowhere near Lü Bu's level. I knelt, accepted the sword, and spoke.

"Your Imperial Grace is boundless."

"Imperial Grace? Someone might overhear — don't use words like that. This is a sword Father gave me as a gift. I thought I would never have use for it in my life, but now that it has found its master, he would be satisfied."

"I shall wield it properly and return it."

"Then you'll have to stay glued to me from now on, won't you? You mustn't leave my side even for a moment — is that not so?"

"W-well, that's true, isn't it? Though I could at least duck out to the latrine..."

"Heh... I'll allow that much, so don't worry."

Liu Xie seemed genuinely pleased that my hours on duty had lengthened. Of course she was on friendly terms with the eunuchs and palace maids in general, but it was also true that we had built a considerable intimacy in a short span of time.

And so I passed the hours in conversation in Liu Xie's chambers — while my mind ran nowhere but how to turn ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠this opportunity to use.

Night deepened. Liu Xie had fallen asleep, and I stepped outside to check on the Imperial Guards posted to protect her.

I was just turning to snatch a little rest when — thwack! — a small pebble flew from somewhere and struck me square in the back.

I slipped into the corridor, keeping clear of the guards. And sure enough, Chosun darted into view.

"What is Dong Zhuo thinking?"

"If you've already seen me, isn't a greeting the polite thing first...? As you no doubt already know, he asked me to guard His Majesty."

"The opportunity has come. Dong Zhuo will not leave His Majesty's side for some time. If you are qualified to bear arms, you can strike him whenever you please, can you not?"

"I thought the same. But he's no pushover. He put Lü Bu in charge of his own protection."

"That makes no sense. Lü Bu only just surrendered — what possible trust could he place in him for his personal safety?"

Chosun, like Hua Xiong before her, voiced her suspicion. Because, as they both said, Lü Bu came loaded with every reason not to be trusted by ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Dong Zhuo.

Great merit or not, he had murdered Ding Yuan, the man he had served like a father. Betrayal is hard the first time; the second is easy.

No person with sense would elevate a traitor. In truth, compared to the towering reputation we know him for, Dong Zhuo had treated Lü Bu rather shabbily.

And the second reason was simply that he was a man.

The deep sense of betrayal Hua Xiong felt was not merely about being shoved aside by a newcomer. She and Dong Zhuo were bound body to body in a Gun-shin-yu-hui relationship.

But Dong Zhuo and Lü Bu were man to man — and both of them heterosexual. There was no reason for the bond between lord and subject to run deep, and yet he had entrusted his life to him. That was why she was even angrier.

"Dong Zhuo might have seen straight through Lü Bu's true intentions. Once he realized there was a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠real reason Lü Bu betrayed Ding Yuan, he knew he held the initiative in their little arrangement of mutual interest."

"You ramble and circle and in the end you're saying it's because of me, aren't you? Speak honestly. Do you have the confidence to face Lü Bu?"

"Uh... That almost sounds like you're taking it as a given that I'm allowed to kill him. Chosun, you don't want that, do you?"

"Starting that again? There was never any connection between him and me to begin with. For the country and the emperor, I could kill him with my own hands."

"..."

That was a little unexpected. So something had existed between them in the past — but right now it was nothing more than Lü Bu's one-sided obsession?

Of course, it was also possible she was forcing herself against her own will out of loyalty to the Han. Either way, the imperial house of Han clearly mattered more to her than Lü Bu.

"I'd love to kill him this instant, but it's impossible. Even facing Lü Bu alone, I'd struggle just to keep my life — and while I was fighting him, Dong Zhuo would already be fleeing far away."

"You admit you're inferior to others without even the grace to look ashamed? Frightened before the fight has even begun — what do you propose to do then?"

"It's called healthy self-awareness. Not just me — no one under heaven could face Lü Bu."

I'd have loved to sweep Lü Bu and Dong Zhuo both off the board if I could. But even with the White Peach Sword in hand, my War was a measly ninety-eight.

Lü Bu had the even stronger Sky Piercer, plus Red Hare on top of that. I absolutely could not win.

"I will think of a method."

"A method? Chosun, don't think of anything."

"What do you imagine I could think of that you're already saying such things?"

"Whatever it is, I absolutely will not permit it — so just don't do it!"

What else would it be? Realizing assassination was impossible, she would start cooking up a beauty scheme to drive a wedge between Dong Zhuo and Lü Bu. That, above all else, could not be allowed.

"You're cooking up some underhanded, impossible scheme in that cunning head of yours again. You just watch for your chance. I'll handle the rest."

"Ah — so I'm saying Chosun shouldn't think at all—"

Whoosh!

But Chosun vanished without so much as a reply. This was a complete disaster.

I had racked my brains trying to stop her from deploying the beauty scheme — and instead, because she didn't trust me, I had only accelerated the timeline.

I turned around, drained. As I passed the corner of the corridor on my way back to Liu Xie — whoosh! — someone suddenly appeared and blocked my path.

"What were you doing?"

"Huh? A new palace maid?"

It was that seductive palace maid I had seen that morning. She regarded me with those characteristic half-lidded eyes, looking at me with that same inviting air.

"Aren't you supposed to be guarding His Highness? You look awfully busy."

"Th-that's not it. I heard there was a suspicious presence this way and came to check."

"Is that sooo? I could have sworn I heard a woman's voice."

"W-what are you talking about?"

How much did this woman know? Chosun would have thoroughly confirmed no one was nearby before calling me out — so how had this woman approached without her noticing?

"Is it that, then? I hear palace maids who can't satisfy their desires inside the palace play around with the eunuchs, or something of the sort."

"Does that even make sense? Even if the palace maids really are frustrated, how exactly would eunuchs relieve that?"

"I hear eunuchs, lacking that particular thing, have amazing techniques instead? They can bring you to climax with just their fingers — I've always been curious."

"..."

She poured out lewd talk as if it were nothing, and I had never met anyone who made that even more erotic. Especially that coquettish voice — so richly, thickly appealing that I found myself getting excited without meaning to.

"I-I only recently became a eunuch, so I didn't know about any of that. And you, palace maid — you came from somewhere else, didn't you? You look quite familiar."

"Me? There's nowhere I haven't been around."

"Is that so? Where were you before you came here?"

You're not the only one who can press an attack. She was strangely familiar, and yet not a single person at the Prince of Chenliu's residence knew a thing about this woman's whereabouts.

Then — swish — she leaned her face in close at once. That high bridge of her nose drew my gaze as if it were casting a spell, and she spoke while exhaling in a whisper.

"Guess. I'll give you a bigger reward than this if you do."

"A bigger reward than this... Hnnngh..."

Pinch! She nipped my nipple in a flash. Pain and pleasure tangled together, and a moan burst out of me before I could stop it.

Then — whoosh whoosh! — she scurried off at a speed that nearly matched Chosun's. Why were there so many bizarre people in this palace?

After that, ordinary daily life resumed. Dong Zhuo stuck close to Liu Xie, trading opinions on the matter of the emperor's enthronement.

Liu Bian's duties were already as good as suspended, so a considerable number of officials were angling to curry favor with Liu Xie. Of course, He Jin's loyalists did not show their faces at all.

"Lucky you."

"...?"

I was spacing out for a moment with a little free time when Lü Bu suddenly spoke to me. I turned and checked his armament.

Being inside the palace, he wore light armor with a sword at his side. But since I couldn't pull up his stats, it was not one of those so-called famous blades.

"Is there something you wish to say?"

"Why you of all people? Aren't you just a dickless eunuch?"

"That's because you don't know any better, Lü Bu. Eunuchs often hone high-level martial arts precisely because they have to protect the emperor from the innermost position."

"Even so, not to any degree useful on a battlefield. Don't delude yourself that Dong Gong will take you back just because you know a few parlor tricks."

"Oh my, oh my... While you're hard at work on smear campaigns, tanking your favorability left and right, what exactly am I supposed to do? I'm content just being His Highness's eunuch."

"Shut up! Mock me one more time and I won't care whether you're the Prince of Chenliu's eunuch or what — I'll cut you down on the spot."

Lü Bu issued the threat, then turned on his heel and stalked off fuming. Looking back on it, he hadn't been starting a conversation — he had been picking a fight.

This guy, for all his pretense otherwise, seemed restless that I alone knew Chosun's whereabouts.

But separate from that, I had just reaped a small harvest. While Lü Bu was on guard duty for Dong Zhuo, he could use neither the Sky Piercer nor Red Hare.

So the War gap between him and me, thanks to gear, was exactly two. Still not enough to guarantee a win — but ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠not an automatic loss either.

In other words, the perfect level difference for a nice long session of hope torture.