Gun-shin-yu-hui
The next morning, under Dong Zhuo's direction, the court demanded that the Son of Heaven return to the palace. Accordingly, Dong Zhuo set out in grand style with three thousand troops to escort the emperor and Yu Hyeop back to the imperial palace.
Yu, Guan, and Zhang stayed behind with Lu Zhi. When I returned, Chosun had vanished as well.
She had probably gone to report the situation to Wang Yun. Yu Hyeop, perhaps because of what I had said the day before, had allowed no one into the tent and seemed to have spent the entire night lost in thought.
"Did you not sleep properly last night?"
Dong Zhuo asked Yu Hyeop. Surprisingly, the man who styled himself the emperor's protector left the Son of Heaven behind like so much baggage and rode side by side with Yu Hyeop.
"It was my first night sleeping outside the palace, so I tossed and turned a little."
"Your first night in a field tent—that is only natural. Yet both Emperor Gaozu and Emperor Wu spent years sharing a pillow with their soldiers on the battlefield, and that is how they left their names in history, is it not?"
"I had never thought of it that way."
Even if Yu Hyeop was not the emperor, Dong Zhuo's manner of speaking was grossly improper. Yet Yu Hyeop did not seem to mind in the least and answered him quietly, almost gently.
Dong Zhuo chuckled with satisfaction and stroked his thick jowls. Compared to the dull Liu Bian, he clearly considered this one far superior.
Moreover, Yu Hyeop had lost her mother young and possessed neither a personal power base nor maternal relatives. In a way, she had been born under a star perfectly suited to being manipulated by traitors.
"Prince of Chenliu. If there is anything you desire, speak it."
"Something I desire... After last night's events, the people must be deeply anxious. What if we issue a proclamation in the emperor's name to calm them?"
"Haha! The Prince of Chenliu is a born sage king. I shall do so. However, the proclamation will be issued not in the emperor's name, but in the name of the Prince of Chenliu."
"What do you mean by that? The foremost elder of the realm is the Son of Heaven—"
"Hyah! Hyah!"
Dong Zhuo did not even bother to reply. He spurred his horse forward, galloping out among the commoners who had come to welcome the emperor's return, and bellowed in a great, booming voice.
"I am Front General Dong Zhuo! Do you see that hide flying from the flagpole? Zhang Rang, who toyed with the emperor through cunning words and plundered the people, is dead!"
Waaaaah!!!
The people's fury toward the Ten Attendants ran deep. Seeing Dong Zhuo turn Zhang Rang into a human-fur coat, they poured out endless praise.
He might be called a demon king, but that bold, free-spirited energy of his was the real thing. The age of Emperor Ling, who had let the eunuchs run wild and drive the realm into misery, had only just ended.
When chaos continues, people dream of a hero—even if that hero is a dictator. That has been the way of things since ancient times. Perhaps everyone had been waiting for someone as powerful as Dong Zhuo all along.
"Be at ease, all of you! The Prince of Chenliu will return to the palace and stabilize the realm!"
Waaaaah!!
Dong Zhuo did not forget to insert Yu Hyeop into the picture. Out of curiosity I glanced toward the emperor's carriage and saw Empress Dowager He staring out the window, eyes blazing with rage.
Hyah! Hyah!
Dong Zhuo returned to Yu Hyeop's side. This time, however, he spoke to me instead.
"I do not see those palace ladies from yesterday."
"Ah... I sent them back to their hometowns. Now that Your Excellency has arrived, there is no further need for them to guard His Highness."
"Is that so..."
For the moment it was important to stay in Dong Zhuo's good graces, so I flattered him by attributing everything to his presence. There was one thing, however, that I had not anticipated.
"Do Yeop. There is one thing you must keep firmly in mind."
"What is that, sir?"
"From now on, do not decide or act on your own before receiving my permission."
"..."
He said it casually, yet the true meaning behind the words was chillingly cold. This bastard was angry that I had sent Yu, Guan, and Zhang away without asking.
Well, of course he was. Those three were no ordinary girls. They were peerless beauties who would stand out anywhere.
The moment he first laid eyes on them he must have been thrilled at the thought of a little private amusement, only for me to send them off on my own authority and ruin his mood.
"I-I will keep that firmly in mind."
"Good. A fellow who can at least tell that much right from wrong."
"..."
Dong Zhuo's expression soon relaxed and he returned to Yu Hyeop's side. When the two of them rode side by side waving to the people, the crowd erupted in fiery cheers of "Long live!"
As if Yu Hyeop were already their emperor.
"Everyone leave except Do Yeop."
We returned to the palace. The brief sigh of relief had barely left my lips when Yu Hyeop dismissed everyone around us and left only me.
"What an insolent man. How dare he have the people cheer for me instead when the Son of Heaven is right there?"
She poured out her dissatisfaction over Dong Zhuo's earlier behavior. Separate from any resentment she might feel toward the emperor and the empress dowager, she too, as a subject of Han, put the emperor's authority first.
"Dong Zhuo merely rode alongside Your Majesty. The people themselves chose to honor their prince; there was no other meaning in it."
"Then what of the words you spoke yesterday? Dong Zhuo never once approached the emperor and clung only to my side. Does he truly harbor treasonous ambitions?"
Yu Hyeop looked quite desperate. If I did not tell her the plain truth, her worries would only deepen.
"As Your Majesty knows, the only way Dong Zhuo can exert influence at court is to install Your Majesty as the new emperor and style himself your most loyal servant."
"That is unthinkable. Deposing an emperor is the act of a traitor. Are you telling me to cooperate with a traitor?"
"Even if such a thing comes to pass, Dong Zhuo alone will be the traitor; Your Majesty will suffer no harm. In the first place, the late emperor left no proper will, and those people simply seized the throne for themselves, did they not?"
"Y-you truly have no filter, do you? Chosun was right! You knew all of this and still did nothing to prevent the Grand General's death."
"No. It was not that I failed to prevent the Grand General's death—it was that I sought to prevent Your Majesty's death. To me, Your Majesty matters far more than He Jin, a man whose face I never even saw. If I had to choose between saving only one of the two—the emperor or Your Majesty—I would save Your Majesty without hesitation."
"..."
On this point I felt not the slightest regret. What was going to happen simply happened. Blaming me for not stopping it was far too harsh.
Yu Hyeop lowered her head in silence. She wrestled deeply between the preservation of her own life and the act of standing by while a traitor worked.
"What will become of the emperor... of my elder brother?"
"No matter how monstrous Dong Zhuo may be, how could he harm one who was once the Son of Heaven? He will be demoted to a princely title and live out the rest of his days in comfort."
I could not bring myself to say that Liu Bian would die. Yu Hyeop's body began to tremble, and then she suddenly threw herself into my arms.
"I am afraid... I am so terribly afraid of that man Dong Zhuo... I do not even know how I managed to answer his questions earlier."
"There is no need to be afraid. Dong Zhuo needs Your Majesty more than anyone else, so he will never dare treat you carelessly."
"Once I become emperor, will he not need me any longer? So promise me. Promise right now that you will never leave me, that you will protect me to the very end!"
"I promise. I will always remain at Your Majesty's side."
Pat, pat.
I stroked her back for a long while until she finally seemed a little calmer. Even so, she showed no sign of wanting to pull away.
With the assassination threat completely gone, a little room to breathe had opened up. I told her I would go check the atmosphere outside and left Yu Hyeop's chambers.
Shashak!
The instant I stepped out, Chosun appeared right in front of my nose. Seeing her face completely free of makeup made my heart flutter all over again.
"I saw the procession earlier. There is no longer any room for doubt about what Dong Zhuo is thinking."
"Nothing we can do about it now. Yuan Shao's side knew it too—that is why they handed over the palace, is it not?"
"Father said that with the Bingzhou army we can still suppress Dong Zhuo. Therefore the emperor will never actually be deposed."
"So Chosun hopes His Majesty will end up dying at the empress dowager's hands after all?"
"Do not twist my words. I am a subject of Han, and the Son of Heaven is sacred in and of himself."
"That 'subject of Han' line again... Dong Zhuo is no ordinary man either; he will find a way somehow. If he fails, things will go exactly as you wish, so there is no need for you to worry further, is there?"
"Shut your mouth! If Dong Zhuo deposes the emperor and installs the Prince of Chenliu, absolute power will fall into his hands. Who is to guarantee he will not later set his sights on the throne itself?"
"I already said we will not let that happen. We simply remove Dong Zhuo before that time comes."
"And how exactly?"
"..."
There were several methods, but the simplest by far was assassination. Historically, Wang Yun using Lü Bu to eliminate Dong Zhuo was, in the broad view, a form of killing with a borrowed knife as well.
I would need to think it through more carefully, but the basic strategy was this: Dong Zhuo already seemed to look on me favorably, so I would serve as the bridge connecting him to Yu Hyeop while winning his trust.
Once he replaced the emperor, a great storm would rise. Those who harbored resentment toward him would band tightly together in resistance, and the famous coalition of the Eighteen Lords would form.
That would be the moment. While Dong Zhuo was distracted fending off enemies rising on every side, we would assassinate him.
Deprived of its control tower, Dong Zhuo's army would crumble like a sandcastle, and his greedy subordinates would fall to fighting among themselves over the spoils of his legacy.
In the midst of that chaos we would simply extract Yu Hyeop to safety. Of course there would be those like Yuan Shao who challenged her legitimacy, but that was a problem for later.
"I will handle it myself, so Chosun need not concern herself."
"Hmph! Do you truly believe you can accomplish anything without Father's help?"
"Well... if possible, I would appreciate a direct line of contact with Lord Wang Yun."
"Suspicious. Why are you trying to cut me out? Come to think of it, you smeared my face with soot yesterday as well."
"That was only to keep Chosun's identity from being exposed..."
"If that were true, why did you bring Liu Bei with her face bare? If it had come out that she was Lu Zhi's disciple, Dong Zhuo would never have believed your words."
"How would a bunch of kids from Yang Province know that? If Lu Zhi himself had not announced it at the martial arts tournament that day, no one in Luoyang would have known either."
"The same applies to me. Just because I briefly showed my face, who would connect me to Father?"
"..."
Honestly, that Liu Bei girl was nothing but trouble. She insisted on tagging along and now she had even made Chosun suspicious of me.
"Why can you not answer? You said from now on there would be no more secrets, so why are you creating another one?"
"Haa... The truth is, I did it because of Dong Zhuo."
"What about Dong Zhuo?"
"I was afraid Dong Zhuo would lust after beauty that would make even the moon feel shy. I went into Dong Zhuo's tent yesterday—he is a complete madman. He ordered his subordinate Hua Xiong to kiss him down there, and then the two of them carried on so shamelessly I cannot even describe it with my own mouth."
In a way, this was the most important reason of all. Chosun's fate was to be tossed between Dong Zhuo and Lü Bu in a full-body contest of seduction; I had wanted to cut that off before it could begin.
"Do you truly think that explains anything? Besides, what is wrong with a lord and subject sharing affection?"
"Dong Zhuo is the kind of lecher who will stick it in any hole he finds—w-what did you just say!?"
Then came a statement so shocking I nearly fainted on the spot. Chosun did not seem the least bit bothered that Dong Zhuo and Hua Xiong had done that sort of thing?
"It is only natural for a lord and subject composed of man and woman to share affection. Why do you speak as if you do not know this?"
"S-so you mean when Dong Zhuo summons Hua Xiong alone at night, it is purely a reward, or a way of deepening camaraderie? Since when has that been a tradition?"
"Confucius, Mencius, and even Han Feizi all spoke of something similar. The sovereign is yang and the subject is yin; this is the same principle as husband and wife. Have you never even heard of Gun-shin-yu-hui—that there must be play between lord and subject?"
"..."
Is it not supposed to be Gun-shin-yu-ui—that there must be righteousness between lord and subject? Yet this was enormous information I had never known.
This place was a meticulously constructed game world. In reality I had already escaped crises using special skills and abilities that could never exist in the real world.
So that was it. Here, the element of loyalty between a male sovereign and a female subject did not operate through righteousness the way it did in the world I came from—it operated through play.
That was why every warlord of the chaotic age was male while only their subordinates had been gender-bent. The way Qi Ling flushed at a single word from Yuan Shu, the way Yang Hong tossed out flirting that no ordinary subject would dare—it all had a reason.
"W-wait a second! Then does that mean Chosun and Lord Wang Yun also...?"
"Silence! How dare you utter such filth? That man is like a father to me!"
Chosun scowled and told me never to say anything so disgusting again. Whew... at least that was a relief. She had used the beauty scheme so naturally I had half-wondered, but it seemed she was just an ordinary virgin bitch.
"Hold on! So every lord-and-subject pair made up of a man and a woman is in that kind of relationship?"
"It depends on their dispositions. But I do not know whether a relationship can grow deep without mixing bodies and forging that sticky bond of affection."
Fortunately, not every subordinate in this world was a hole-sibling. Even among subjects, some would be close to their lord and others would not.
That also explained why only Liu Bei was a woman. Because she was weak.
Everyone else could wave their cocks around and recruit outstanding talent, while Liu Bei alone, being female, was always stuck at a disadvantage.
"That is rather shocking. Still, I am glad it does not apply to Chosun."
"If you cast doubt on my relationship with Father even one more time, I will seal that mouth of yours no matter how skilled you are. So do not think of cutting me out—report every single move you make."
"Yes."
I said the words, but of course I could not include Chosun. Especially not in the work that lay ahead.
That afternoon I went to the place where Dong Zhuo was staying. Guided by Hua Xiong, I stepped inside and found Dong Zhuo standing with his hands clasped behind his back, gazing out the window.
"Wait there a moment."
"Yes, sir."
He continued staring out the window for a long while. Lost in deep thought? Or perhaps...
Slurp... slurp...
"...?"
Of course the two of us were not alone. Hidden by Dong Zhuo's massive bulk, someone was kneeling respectfully in front of him, playing the meat flute.
"Uheok..."
Dong Zhuo let out a moan of pure rapture and shuddered from head to toe. A moment later a woman appeared from the other side, wiping her mouth.
"Haa... haa... Lord Dong Zhuo's grace is so abundant..."
I decided not to think about the white liquid still clinging to the corner of her lips. The woman left the room with a lingering smile in her eyes. Dong Zhuo hiked up his trousers and turned to face me.
"That woman is Li Ru. She once held the post of Erudite at court—among my subordinates she is one of the few who has actually tasted some learning, so she is quite useful. Of course she is useful in other ways as well, heh heh..."
Dong Zhuo slapped his still-erect manhood a couple of times. Not knowing what else to say, I immediately launched into business.
"I have heard news from outside. Wang Yun and Yuan Shao are each maneuvering behind the scenes to reclaim military authority as Governor of Henan and Colonel Director of Retainers. At the moment the soldiers are still in confusion because of the empress dowager's orders."
To be precise, it was news Chosun had brought me. Dong Zhuo rubbed his thick jowls and answered.
"The empress dowager is still measuring the size of my vessel. But once she realizes she is, after all, only a woman, she will surely reach out to those men. What would you do in my place?"
"You must show that your forces are larger than they appear. You still have troops waiting outside, do you not? Dress them up as noisily as possible and march them into Luoyang, while at the same time sending some of the troops already inside back out again."
"Then keep repeating the process so it looks as though fresh forces are continually arriving? That is exactly what Li Ru said."
Of course it was—I was simply reciting Li Ru's words. In Dong Zhuo's eyes, however, I would now appear to possess at least the same level of strategic insight as Li Ru.
"The scouts have returned. Ding Yuan, who was stationed at Mengjin, is advancing on Luoyang. They say his army's discipline is strict and its order well maintained."
"Actually, that is the very matter I came to speak about. The man named Lü Bu I mentioned yesterday—if we can draw him over to our side, the Bingzhou army will collapse at a single beat of the drum."
"Not a bad idea. But how?"
Even without me, Dong Zhuo would have reached the same conclusion eventually. Yet I needed to steal every bit of credit and become his most trusted confidant.
"I will persuade him myself."
Making Lü Bu betray his master. Was there anything easier in this world?