Bonds of Fate
"Here, please have some. I've been saving this for when a guest might come. It's nothing particularly fine, but it's drinkable enough."
"Ah, thank you. For something so precious."
When Zhang Ren offered me the warm tea, I accepted it with a bow of thanks.
His house was small and shabby — only slightly better than the homes of other farmers, hard to believe he had once been a general. Moreover, he seemed unmarried; he lived alone.
Then again, given a character and conduct so far removed from wealth and glory, living in luxury would have been the stranger thing.
"By the way, for someone of a Pian-general's rank, do you always travel alone like this, without attendants?"
"It's freer, traveling alone. And if I went about with a noisy retinue, it might only trouble the common folk."
Drawing attention isn't something I particularly enjoy, either.
"But how do you know what rank I hold?"
"How could I not? Is there anyone in Yizhou who doesn't know of Lady Jin? Even the rumors alone tell a great deal."
"What sort of rumors?"
"Not long ago, you contributed to the defeat and capture of Zhang He, did you not? And you personally cut down his deputy general, Luo Chao. I heard that was why you were promoted. I also heard that most of the rewards you received were distributed among the soldiers and the families of the fallen, while you yourself live frugally. Is any of that wrong?"
"No… none of it is particularly wrong."
He smiled faintly and went on. The cynical air he had worn when we first met had softened a little.
"Word of you reaches even these parts quite often. Do no harm to the common people. Share your own wealth to help them if need be. Admirable. A mindset worthy of emulation."
Listening to him, I could sense that he, too, took a deep interest in the lives of ordinary people. The thought crossed my mind that perhaps his house was so humble because he had spent himself caring for them — but it would have been rude to ask, so I left the question unvoiced.
Zhang Ren continued.
"You are famous enough here that people speak of you constantly. Do you understand what that means? A famous person draws the eyes of others — and with that, the danger of falling into harm increases. Assassination, for instance. Or false accusation."
"I'm grateful for your concern, but I understand that most of the bandits and mountain outlaws in this region have already been suppressed. This is hardly enemy territory, so I don't think the danger is that great. And though it may sound boastful coming from my own mouth, I am skilled in the martial arts. Ordinary threats won't be enough."
"Hahaha. Yes, I know. But unexpected situations do arise, do they not? However much public order has improved, somewhere there may still be someone harboring other intentions — concealing what lies in their heart."
He took a sip of tea and went on.
"Just now, my lady, you followed a former enemy into his home without the slightest suspicion. What if I had stationed assassins or an ambush around this house? Or what if I had put something in this tea?"
"…Judging by how calmly you say such things, I don't believe you would. And General Zhang Ren is not that sort of man. Above all, you have no reason to harm me here."
"Is that so? What if I were an exceptionally fine actor? And people can change at any time — whether by the influence of others, or by circumstance."
He wore an unreadable smile, and I swallowed hard.
"…!"
"Hahaha. No need to tense up so. I haven't done anything of the sort right now. Just drink at ease."
Even so, his words carried a weight that felt somehow significant, and I did not immediately let go of my wariness.
"Why are you telling me all this?"
"Death and danger can approach from anywhere. Even in situations Lady Jin never anticipated — or in ones she might pass through without ever noticing."
He spoke, then his expression shifted as if something had just occurred to him.
"Ah — do you remember the battle of Luocheng?"
"Of course I do."
The battle of Luocheng. It had been the fight in which I had strained every effort to save Pang Tong — and the fight in which I had captured the very Zhang Ren sitting before me.
"There, we went to extraordinary lengths to kill Fengchu — Pang Tong. End the Fledgling Phoenix before he could fully mature. That was our aim. Ah, don't make that face. That was then; I bear no ill will now."
"…"
"In the end we failed, and Lord Liu Xun and I were taken prisoner. While we were confined in the residence, Lord Liu Xun said this to me: 'Shooting Pang Tong was truly difficult. All because of one bodyguard who stuck to him like a leech.' Later I learned that bodyguard was you, Lady Jin. Is that correct?"
"Yes, that's right. I was escorting Military Advisor Pang Tong."
"Lord Liu Xun said this as well: that bodyguard was so vexing he had half a mind to shoot him first. In the end, he did not."
"…What is your purpose in telling me this now?"
"I say again — I bear no particular ill will, so you need not look at me like that. What I mean to say is that Lady Jin has already passed through a brush with death. And without even realizing it. Had I not told you this now, would you ever have known?"
"Probably not."
Hearing him put it that way, I could not say he was wrong. I had thrown my whole body in the way every time Pang Tong stepped forward, determined to protect him.
"Lady Jin. Working for one's lord and caring for others is a fine thing. But you ought to look after your own person as well. At the very least, take a lieutenant with you when you travel. And however much Yizhou may be stabilizing under Liu Bei, one never knows when unrest might rise from within."
I had heard that Liu Zhang was now in Jingzhou, while Liu Xun remained in Yizhou. In the original history they had not risen in revolt — but in the future I inhabited, who could say?
"I understand what you're saying. But why offer such counsel to me? We were once enemies."
"Hmm. Well now. Call it a kind of whim, if you like."
"Yes. I'll take it to heart. Unexpected good advice from an unexpected place."
It was not sarcasm; I meant it. At least in this moment, he was truly offering counsel for my sake — of that I was certain.
"That said, don't put too much trust in me either. People are creatures of fickle whim. Looking back on your achievements, one almost thinks Lord Liu Xun would have done better to shoot you that day."
"…I'll take that as a joke."
"Heh. Yes. A joke. It's all finished now, and nothing can be undone."
This man… I still could not read him clearly.
"So you came looking for Yu Eun?"
Zhang Ren turned the conversation back to its original purpose.
"Yes, that's right. His name reached my ears, so I thought I would meet him — and if he proved a capable talent, recommend him to my lord."
"I know roughly where he lives, so I'll show you the way. I've only heard of him by rumor myself, but there's no doubt he's a fine talent. Do you always go out in person like this to bring people in?"
"Not always, but I try to meet as many as I can. Our lord treasures talented people. He is always seeking those of purpose and ability — and he treats them well. So…"
He held up a palm, cutting me off.
"Don't even think of trying to persuade me. As I told you before, I have resolved to live apart from the world. And when someone of such martial skill and virtue as yourself already serves Liu Bei, what help could I possibly be?"
"But for a man of General Zhang Ren's caliber to bury himself out here seems a waste. Forget the past and lend us your strength. Our lord would surely employ you in a position of importance. Even if he did not, I would speak well on your behalf."
"No amount of effort will change it. I have no intention of serving another master. For me, there is only one lord — Lord Liu Zhang."
"I see…"
So recruiting this man was impossible after all. As I felt the quiet disappointment settle in, Zhang Ren gave a hearty laugh and spoke again.
"Don't take it so hard. Looking at you, I see humility and a genuine care for people. You'll have no trouble persuading this Yu Eun."
"I'm grateful for your hospitality. I'll take my leave now."
"Go carefully."
When our conversation ended, Zhang Ren came out to see me off.
"Hmm. Fine arms and equipment. Not only the sword — the horse, the saddle, the bow, all of them first-rate. Gifts from Lord Liu Bei, by any chance?"
Zhang Ren spoke as he looked over the gear loaded on my horse. He had been a military man himself; it was only natural his eye would be drawn to such things.
"Yes. All of them bestowed on me personally by our lord."
"I see. You are clearly favored."
"Yes. More than I deserve."
For a fleeting moment I wondered whether offering him the arms I carried might win him over — then dismissed the thought. He was not a man whose heart would turn for something so small.
"They say every person has a lord who suits them. I believe you have found exactly the right one. Lord Liu Bei already has many outstanding talents following him, yourself among them. So even if someone like me remains behind, might that not ease Lord Liu Zhang's sorrow just a little? Don't take my refusal too much to heart."
"I understand…"
A strange current had run through our conversation more than once, yet I felt he was extending every courtesy he could. In truth, even if he had treated me as an enemy I would have had no grounds to complain — so receiving this kindness alone was enough to sweep away any lingering disappointment.
"Might we meet again someday?"
"If one set one's mind to it, it wouldn't be impossible — but it would be wiser to avoid meeting me. You could find yourself tangled in needless gossip."
"Even so, I would like to see you once more someday. If fate allows it."
"Fate, is it. An odd premonition comes over me. That if we meet again, it may well be under unhappy circumstances."
"Then I'll do my best to make sure the circumstances are happy ones."
"Haha. That wouldn't be so bad."
I bid him farewell and left the house, then set out toward the place where Yu Eun was said to live.
Walking along the golden fields, I sank into thought.
Fate…
Bonds already formed.
Bonds that never came to be.
And bonds yet to be made.
As many as the clusters of light that turned those fields to gold, I would meet and form many more bonds in the days ahead.
Shaaa.
The wind blew. The golden ears of grain bent their bodies in the direction I was looking, as if guiding me onward.