Even If Your Head Gets Smashed

Five hundred was not a particularly large number to the people of the current era, nor had it been during the days of the old Han dynasty.

In modern times, the population in that region had ballooned to 1.4 billion, so it was only natural. Even in the distant past of the Han dynasty, the population had already exceeded sixty million.

However, the story changed completely when five hundred volunteers were gathered from a single small village.

According to the uncles, the place had been only slightly larger than Dontou Village. That meant the entire population of the village was likely around three thousand at most.

And yet five hundred of them had volunteered?

That meant not only the hot-blooded young men of Nusang Village, but even the old geezers who could barely grip a club had rushed to join.

On top of that, when one considered the cost of feeding and housing five hundred people, selling a single butcher shop (though he felt bad for Mister Jang, who had gone from successful butcher owner to homeless bum overnight) would never be enough to cover it.

The volunteer soldiers were probably scavenging and preparing their own meals.

It was a clear demonstration of just how deep Liu Bei’s personal charisma ran.

Considering that Cheng Yuanzhi’s gang numbered fifty thousand, even if they added Fang Yeol, the forty uncles, and Liu Bei’s five hundred volunteers together, the total was still laughably insignificant. But if a person possessed that kind of reputation, couldn’t they gather even more followers from elsewhere?

In the end, after a long discussion, Fang Yeol and the forty uncles reached a single conclusion: whether they joined or not, they would at least go see this Liu Bei person’s face for themselves.

And so Fang Yeol and the uncles set off for Nusang Village to meet the one called Liu Bei.

***

To get straight to the point, the one called Liu Bei was not a man.

She was a woman.

Of course, she looked a few years older than Fang Yeol, who had only recently escaped being treated like a child and started receiving adult respect. Still, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠she appeared far too young to be the leader of an entire force, and she didn’t seem like the type of person who could command such overwhelming respect throughout an entire village.

Why was Fang Yeol, who was even younger than Liu Bei, the leader of his own group?

Because when it came to wealth, Fang Yeol came from the richest family in Dontou Village—on par with the local nobility. Moreover, every single one of the uncles under him had either received help from Fang Yeol’s parents during the village’s pioneering days or had bought their houses with money lent to them after the village was completed.

Even the armor, weapons, and horses they were currently using had all been purchased by Fang Yeol after he emptied out the family fortune. So even though he was young, none of them questioned his position as their leader.

They also knew he had received a proper education from the private tutors his parents had hired for him since childhood, so there was no cause for worry.

By contrast, Liu Bei had lost her father at a young age. Her family had been poor, and until recently she and her mother had survived by selling straw mats.

In other words, she was far too much of a dirt-poor commoner to be throwing her weight around in the village.

It was only natural that Fang Yeol’s group felt suspicious of her.

What the hell is going on? Why are all the men in this village willingly acting like slaves for some little girl who’s gathering a volunteer army?

While Fang Yeol and the uncles wandered around the village in confusion, Liu Bei approached them.

More precisely, she approached Fang Yeol, who clearly looked like the leader.

In plain terms, she was saying: Who the hell are you bastards swaggering around my turf? If you want even a cup of water, spit out your names and bow your heads right now.

Fang Yeol finally realized, thanks to Liu Bei’s elegantly worded rebuke, that he and his men had been walking around someone else’s village fully armed.

“Ah, I apologize for disturbing the village. We are all from Dontou Village in Dagou County. We came after hearing the admirable tale of you and your oath brother, Zhang Fei (the one about secretly selling the family company behind your father’s back).”

At that, the burly, bearded man standing to Liu Bei’s left grinned widely.

“Nee-san, didn’t I tell you? If they’ve got eyes and working ears, they’d come crawling to become our underlings on their own! Stop worrying about what Dad thinks and hurry up and prepare some meat for these people. And really, who could resist coming when our nee-san is involved? Didn’t those merchants from last time end up handing everything over after falling for her? She’s got something special when it comes to drawing people in.”

“Ikdeok! What kind of rudeness is this toward our guests! Apologize at once!”

“…Ahem. Young sir, my words were a bit rough. My apologies. …Nee-san, seriously… I was just trying to help our eldest sister look good…”

“You little—!”

“Ah, forget it! I’ll go get some booze, so you handle the rest!”

And with that, the youngest of the Peach Garden siblings, the adorable troublemaker Zhang Fei, exited the scene to fetch wine.

Meanwhile, the cold-faced beauty who had been guarding Liu Bei’s right side had been glaring at Fang Yeol with a pouty expression the entire time. She finally spoke up.

She then began fiddling with her long hair as if showing it off.

“…? No? What’s a Guan Yu?”

Thus, the second eldest sister of the Peach Garden siblings, Guan Yu, exited the scene with a bright red face, fuming.

Sometimes, honesty can inflict terrible wounds upon a person…

Because of the forty precious heavy cavalrymen who might become her subordinates, Liu Bei could not follow after Guan Yu to soothe her. She simply smiled awkwardly and quickly changed the subject.

“Ah, in any case, since you have come from far away, we shall prepare a small banquet for you. Esteemed guests, although this is a humble place, please rest comfortably here for a while. This person will show you the way. Hey, Xianhua, take our guests to any clean spot you can find.”

***

The banquet began after the sun had set.

Liu Bei had clearly called it a “small” banquet, yet the food spread out was far too luxurious to have come from a village gathering.

Perhaps these were some of the things the merchants Zhang Fei had mentioned earlier had offered up?

Or maybe they were offerings the villagers had given to Liu Bei’s army.

During the short time Fang Yeol had spent in the village, he had seen no friction between Liu Bei’s soldiers and the residents, nor any signs of forced looting. Whether the gifts had come from merchants or villagers, they had clearly been given willingly.

Throughout the banquet, Fang Yeol watched Liu Bei as she moved busily between the uncles, winning their hearts one by one. In his mind, his evaluation of her rose another level.

As the feast reached its peak, Guan Yu—who had been quietly observing Liu Bei and Zhang Fei (who was drinking straight from a jar) while sitting among Fang Yeol’s uncles—suddenly stood up. She walked over to Fang Yeol and spoke.

“Among warriors, a banquet without a spar is no true banquet at all. This ‘nameless foot soldier’ Guan, whoever she may be, wishes to liven up the festivities with you.”

In an instant, the lively atmosphere of the banquet froze. Everyone except Zhang Fei, who was drunk and shouting “Oh! A fight?! As expected of Second Sister! This is great!” began watching Guan Yu and Fang Yeol nervously.

“Yun, Yunchang. You must be drunk. Let’s not do this here—come take a walk with your sister to clear your head.”

“Elder Sister, this younger sibling is perfectly sober. I simply wished to test that man’s skill, nothing more.”

She then snorted at Fang Yeol and turned her head away.

“Well… if you are too afraid of the sword of a nameless woman to accept, then your skill must be obvious. If you fear being cut, I understand. I shall withdraw.”

“Yunchang!”

What the hell? Was she still sulking over that answer from earlier? Despite her appearance, maybe she had the delicate heart of a little girl.

In any case, Fang Yeol was still a man. When he heard the magic word that had prevented men from refusing duels since ancient times—scared?—he called out to Guan Yu as she tried to leave.

“Wait, Lord Guan! My body has been itching for a fight as well. This is perfect timing. Let’s have a match!”

The moment he said “Let’s have a match,” Guan Yu’s face turned bright red.

.

.

.

After a great deal of commotion—clearing this, moving that, shifting everything else—the spar finally began in the center of the banquet.

The way she kept emphasizing “nameless foot soldier” made it clear she really was still upset about what she had heard earlier…

Despite her childish inner nature, Guan Yu closed the distance with bold, swift movements.

Fang Yeol smiled, thinking this would be an unexpectedly excellent spar.

That thought lasted only until he was sent flying by Guan Yu’s overwhelming strength and began experiencing hell…

.

.

.

“Hmm… I expected to settle it in three moves at most, but you held on quite well… Ah, well fought. I did not think it would last this long. The bout with you was rather enjoyable.”

“Th-thank… you…”

“Fang Yeol! Are you alright?!”

Liu Bei helped the trembling Fang Yeol to his feet and sat him down.

As Guan Yu had said, a warriors’ banquet was made livelier by a spar.

Of course, if Fang Yeol had been knocked out in a single blow the mood would have turned awkward.

Although he had been thrown around nonstop, he had held his own surprisingly well. Thanks to that, the drinking party became even more lively than before, with the recent duel serving as the main topic of conversation.

On the surface, Liu Bei appeared to be comforting Fang Yeol, but inwardly she was delighted.

Even though he had been pushed back the entire time, he had lasted a full forty exchanges against her younger sister Guan Yu.

Liu Bei had never imagined there would be anyone in You Province capable of enduring that long against Guan Yu.

She had never expected him to come to her directly, either.

Liu Bei fell into deep thought.

She recalled the stories she had heard while drinking with Fang Yeol’s uncles earlier.

Those uncles had said this man had bought all their armor and horses himself, right?

He had also received various lessons from ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠private tutors.

And those men had shown no dissatisfaction at all at being led by someone so young.

Martial prowess? He lasted forty exchanges against Guan Yu. Pass.

Leadership? Despite being a young leader, the adults showed no signs of even minor complaints. Pass.

Judgment? If he had simply bought an official post, he would have been exploited for money and killed without ever avenging his parents. Instead, he used that money to arm the people of his hometown and form a volunteer army. He didn’t recklessly charge into battle and instead came here to join us. Pass.

Financial ability? A young man managed to buy weapons, armor, food, supplies, and even horses for forty men by dealing with those swindling merchants all by himself, yet there had been no signs of inconvenience so far? Pass.

On top of that, he received private tutoring as a child? Pass, pass, and pass again.

My goodness.

Where on earth did such a treasure come from?

This man.

I must secure him no matter what.

Before any other bastards can steal him away.

Having finished her thoughts, Liu Bei looked at Fang Yeol, who was still groaning ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠in pain, and gave him a bright, lovely smile.