The Smiling Tiger and the Awkward Banquet
Come to think of it, Zhang Fei mentioned it yesterday. The commanders of the suppression force that arrived here were Yuan Shu and Cao Cao. With Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and even Yuan Shu all turned into women, it would be strange if Cao Cao were any different. At this point, the fact that Zhang Fei was the only one still a man felt more surprising. Anyway. Things had gotten a little awkward.
The atmosphere had already grown uncomfortable because of Yuan Shu’s harsh words, and then I had shaken off Cao Cao’s hand as if to back her up. Just moments ago the mood had been friendly, but now it was ice-cold. Especially the massive man standing behind Cao Cao—he was growling like he wanted to devour me alive. What the hell? He’s not a dog. Of course I had expected Cao Cao to be a woman, but honestly, who would think that such a frivolous-looking woman was Cao Cao? Whether male or female, Cao Cao was supposed to be strict, solemn, and serious, right? She wasn’t supposed to walk around with those squinty smiling eyes… Though now that I look at her, she does give off that vibe. Even while smiling, she has the air of someone who could kill a person without batting an eye. The kind of person who would happily massacre the people of Xu Province. The problem is that I might end up being one of those people.
An awkward atmosphere. Cao Cao’s chilly smile. A giant of a man huffing as if ready to kill at any second. And Yuan Shu beside me, openly sneering at Cao Cao. I had to survive.
“Oh… My goodness, if it isn’t Lord Cao Cao! What was it again… Colonel of the North District of Luoyang? …Are you that very same Lord Cao Cao?!”
Desperately racking my brain, I pretended to recognize her and grabbed the hand I had just shaken off.
“…Pardon? …No way?! You mean my name has even reached You Province?! Did you hear that, Wonyang? There are people in You Province who recognize me! Hahaha, how embarrassing~”
“Y-yeah. I didn’t know that either.”
The fierce-looking man behind her answered with a slightly sour expression. In an instant, the military camp’s atmosphere turned warm and friendly again. The only one grimacing in the middle of it all was Yuan Shu. A good sign.
“How could I not know? I was truly impressed when I heard you beat your uncle Jian Shuo to death. It is precisely because there are people like Colonel Cao here that the Han Dynasty has not yet fallen!”
“Oh my! You’re praising me too much for something so trivial~ Let’s not stand around here. Please come inside! I, Cao Cao, will personally show you how the people of Yanzhou treat their honored guests! Ah, feel free to call me Mengde. Aren’t we close?”
Just how close did she think we were? Anyway, Cao Cao had declared the full Yanzhou hospitality course. I wanted to refuse, but I was afraid the hard-won friendly mood would freeze over again. Just as I was being practically dragged toward the large tent, Yuan Shu suddenly stepped in front of me.
“Wait, ahem… You must be too dull to recognize me, but I am Yuan Shu.”
What? A sudden self-introduction?
“Ah, I see.”
“Wha— …Khm! I am the youngest daughter of the Yuan clan of Runan, one of the Three Excellencies, and Colonel of the Changshui Camp in Luoyang—none other than Yuan Gonglu. I cannot be compared to some granddaughter of a eunuch family.”
“Ah, yes.”
“Grrr! You idiot! …Fine! Ji Ling! What are you doing?! Stop crouching there pathetically and follow me at once!”
“Ack!! Thank you for the honorable kick, my lady!!! It is my greatest honor!!!”
Yuan Shu kicked Ji Ling, who had been squatting in the corner feeding a squirrel, then stormed off toward her own tent, abandoning the banquet.
“Hahaha!! Oh dear~ I thought the Yuan family’s fame had spread throughout the realm, but it seems Gonglu’s name is not yet known here. Hmm~ What a shame… Still, Gonglu, please don’t be too heartbroken! One day, people here will surely come to know your name as well!”
“Shut up!!!”
“Hahahaha!!! How adorable when you’re embarrassed~ Wonyang, let’s go inside quickly. The food will get cold at this rate!”
The banquet was so luxurious it was hard to believe it was being held by an army. No matter how military a camp might be, people still lived there. Even the strictest soldiers were still human, after all. Surprisingly, the inside of the tent was packed with merchants and courtesans. Thanks to the traders who followed the army and the women selling their bodies, the feast became even livelier. Perhaps it was only natural. When an army this size—practically an entire village—moved, how could merchants not follow? And in a dreary place full of only men, how could there be no women selling their charms? Of course there would be. Especially in an era like this, where once an army marched out it might not return home for years. If anything, there would be more of them, not fewer.
Anyway, the banquet table was truly extravagant. Sitting at the head of that table and sharing a meal with Cao Cao felt incredibly uncomfortable. The food was excellent, the wine delicious, the courtesan pouring drinks was beautiful, and the one coquettishly clinging to my chest was nice too—everything was good. But the problem was that the Cao Cao sitting right in front of me was that Cao Cao. If you only looked at her face she was quite pretty, but…!
“Um… Colonel Cao? Why am I sitting at the head of the table….”
“What are you saying! Where else would someone who has accomplished as much as you sit! Isn’t that right, Wonyang?”
“Of course. Didn’t you scream your lungs out this morning? You charged into the enemy headquarters, avenged your parents by killing… what was his name again?”
“It was probably Cheng Yuanzhi.”
“Ah, right. Cheng Yuanzhi. Anyway, you killed that bastard, burned their main camp, rescued Yuan Shu, and even took down the leader of those Yellow Turban scum. After doing all that, if you don’t sit at the head, who does? Well… it is a little disappointing that Yuan Shu survived, though….”
“Good heavens, Wonyang! You two were so close as children—how can you say such a thing! Gonglu may have become a bit shy, but she’s still just as fun to play with, isn’t she?”
“You call that playing….”
Neither the original owner of this body nor I were used to occasions like this, so it was simply uncomfortable. Being at the head of the table made it even worse. It wasn’t that I was an introvert who hated it while social butterflies enjoyed it. When over five thousand people kept coming up to shake your hand and pour you drinks on top of that, how could anyone enjoy it? My stomach was already turning.
My original plan had been to stay in Nusang Village. I was going to call the uncles from Dontou Village and have them pick out the expensive items from our loot so everything could be traded for rice, but… Could I even make it back to Nusang Village in my current state? I’d be lucky if I didn’t fall off my horse on the way. What if Liu Bei had already donated all the loot to the poor of Zhuo Commandery? I needed to find some way out of this.
…Ah, that’s it!
“Colonel Cao, there’s actually… one thing that’s bothering me.”
Cao Cao dramatically jumped in exaggerated surprise.
“What?! Why didn’t you say so sooner! What is it?! Is the wine not to your taste? Or perhaps the courtesans’ faces? So that’s why you still haven’t called me Mengde!”
“No! That’s not it! It’s just… I feel uncomfortable enjoying all this by myself while my comrades are left out….”
And why the hell was I calling her by her given name?
“Ah! Of course, that makes sense. Oh dear, I’ve made a mistake! I understand. Since they helped us as well, it is only right that we invite them. But… where did you say they were?”
“Nusang Village. How should I describe it… Over there, to the far east, there are two mountains jutting out from the range. They’re nestled between them.”
“Hmm… Quite a remote place. Understood! I’ll send someone to fetch them right away!”
Cao Cao sprang to her feet and headed outside, with Xiahou Dun following close behind. If I couldn’t stop Liu Bei, I just had to make sure she couldn’t do anything either. Then, when the chance came, I could return to Nusang Village with the uncles and have more breathing room. This was truly killing two birds with one stone! No—catching both the pheasant and its eggs!
“…So, Wonyang, what do you think?”
“Hm? About what?”
“That man named Bangyeol.”
“Well… He seemed like a decent fellow. Why, do you want to recruit him?”
Cao Cao tilted her head.
“Hmm…. Honestly, I’m not sure.”
“Huh? Weren’t you sticking to him because you wanted him as a subordinate?”
“The more I look at him, the more he seems like talented material, but… something feels off.”
“Really? I didn’t notice anything… Well, if you say so, then it must be true.”
Cao Cao was hesitating because of an inexplicable sense of unease. She had felt something like this once before. When was that? Ah, she remembered. Back when she was even younger than she was now. It was the same feeling she had when she visited the famous physiognomist Xu Shao. That was when she had been told she would be a treacherous subject in times of peace and a treacherous hero in times of chaos. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant evaluation. If anything, it was closer to a harsh criticism. She had thought she had been conducting herself with proper dignity, so why had Xu Shao given her such an assessment? Even now, Cao Cao still didn’t understand. It hadn’t been a casual remark. He had looked at her with genuine discomfort. …Ah!
“Wonyang, do you remember when I met Xu Zijiang in the past?”
“Hmph! As I’ve said before, there’s no need to pay any attention to that man’s evaluations! Aman, how many people in this world are as clean as you? To call someone like you a treacherous subject or a treacherous hero? Ridiculous.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about! Thanks to that, I gained quite a reputation. What I mean is the expression on Xu Zijiang’s face at the time. It was as if he was terribly frightened. He looked at me with clear discomfort.”
“…Did he? But why bring that up all of a sudden?”
“When Bangyeol first heard my name, he made almost the exact same face. Don’t you think that’s strange? …Why would he have done that?”
“Hmm… Maybe you played a prank on him when you were younger? Honestly, when you were little you were a bit… how should I put it.”
“I don’t think that was the feeling… Hmm! In any case, I think I should look into him a little more before making any offers! Wonyang! Would you be willing to go to Nusang Village yourself and check things out?”
“Me? I’ll go if you want me to…”
“Please examine the details carefully. When Bangyeol first arrived, what the volunteer army commander there is like, what his reputation among the people is, why he came, what their current financial situation is, and so on. Can you do that?”
“Ah, you want me to investigate his background? That’s not difficult.”
“Especially important is finding out what the relationship between Bangyeol and the people there is like! If he truly felt uncomfortable, he would have asked to invite his comrades from the beginning. I suspect there’s another reason why he felt uneasy.”
“Really? Got it!”
Watching Xiahou Dun leave with several subordinates, Cao Cao once again recalled the expressions Xu Shao and Bangyeol had worn.
“A treacherous subject in times of peace, a treacherous hero in times of chaos… Just what did you two see in this Cao Cao that frightened you so? …Perhaps this time, I may finally learn the reason.”