The Daheung Mountain Battle Plan
"Oh my~ This has become a bit troublesome, hasn't it?"
The voice carried not a hint of actual trouble, paired with an utterly relaxed posture.
And above all, that ever-present grin on her face made Yuan Shu's irritation spike.
"Cao Cao, if you're going to say things you don't mean, at least pretend to hide it. Otherwise the listener finds it rather unpleasant."
Still, they had traveled together from Luoyang through Bing Province all the way to Yan Province. Yuan Shu, marveling at her own generosity for offering advice instead of scorn to someone beneath her, gracefully set her teacup—filled with honeyed water—down on the table.
However.
"Hahaha, whatever do you mean, Gonglu? I truly do think it's troublesome~ Ah! Now that I think about it, wouldn't it be nice if you started calling me Mengde? It feels a little embarrassing when I'm the only one using your courtesy name. Or perhaps you'd prefer to go back to calling me big sister Aman like before…"
"Who are you telling to call a mere granddaughter of a eunuch by her courtesy name?! You madwoman—Ji Ling! What are you doing? Come here at once!"
"Ack! Milady's kick!! Thank you! It's an honor!!!"
Unable to tolerate Cao Cao's incorrigible behavior any longer, Yuan Shu abandoned her honeyed water, kicked Ji Ling in the shin, and stormed out.
"Honestly, what a prude."
"Shut up!!!"
"Ack! Milady's pinch!! Thank you…"
"You shut up too!!!"
"Hahahaha! You two are always so entertaining when you're together."
While Cao Cao was busy teasing Yuan Shu as she had since childhood, a massive man pushed his way through the soldiers.
"Good grief… Aman, are you done teasing Yuan Shu yet?"
"Ah, Wonyang. You're early. How is it? Still blocked?"
"Yeah. Those Yellow Turban bastards— their numbers have only grown, if anything. Got any bright ideas?"
"Hmm~ Let's just wait a little longer. There's only one road here anyway, and our mere presence is tying down their forces. That alone puts considerable pressure on them. …By the way, Wonyang. Did you double-check? Was it really fifty thousand?"
Xiahou Dun nodded with a bitter expression.
"Yeah. Five command banners and fifty large flags. I even had one unit counted individually just to be sure. Fifty thousand civilians from You Province alone have joined the Yellow Turbans."
"…Just how desperate must they have been to be swayed by some Daoist's nonsense and curse the heavens? Perhaps the Han Dynasty itself is already…"
"Hm? What was that?"
"…Nothing. Everyone!!! Break time is over! We'll be staying here for a while, so let's prepare the camp. The last unit to finish will be digging drainage ditches with me today."
Though everyone enjoyed Cao Cao's cheerful demeanor, no one wanted drainage duty, so the six thousand suppression troops rushed to set up camp.
"That said, this really is troublesome. There's only one way into You Province from here, and if twenty thousand are blocking it… Hmm."
No matter how much she thought about it, they couldn't break through without support from outside. Cao Cao decided to stop worrying for now.
What she could do right now was—
"If thinking won't solve it, there's no helping it! Unless someone stirs up trouble from behind, worrying about an unbreakable problem is the height of foolishness. …Wonyang! Look at that river! Isn't it beautiful? A lovely phrase just came to mind—want to hear it…?"
"Damn it, no thanks!"
They were simply curling up and biding their time.
***
"Right, this here's a map of the area around Zhuojun."
"Hmm… Yide. You drew this map like absolute garbage."
"Ayy! Then why don't you try, little big sis! I'll watch with my eyes wide open to see how well you draw!"
"Hmm… Yide. On second thought, it is legible enough to understand."
"You never have anything nice to say…"
After watching Liu Bei and Ganning chuckle at the usual banter between Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, Zhang Fei grumbled and resumed his explanation.
"Anyway, the scout I sent out this morning came back with news. Seems Lady Yuan Shu of the Qi Commandery and Cao Cao showed up west of Zhuoxian with three thousand each—six thousand suppression troops in total."
"Six thousand? Yide, is that true? Even if they're central troops, holding that narrow pass with only six thousand seems difficult to break through."
"That's right. Just like you said, little big sis, they're stuck in a standoff blocking the narrow path. And here's where the Yellow Turbans were when the scout returned."
On the map Zhang Fei indicated, the Yellow Turbans were clustered around Daheung Mountain, with all but ten thousand reserve troops committed to blocking the western pass.
"As expected, they haven't even bothered blocking the roads from Jizhou and Yan Kingdom."
"Jizhou was completely subdued by the Yellow Turbans, so that's obvious, and Yan Kingdom has already fallen into their hands. Still, they must have heard that we three siblings raised troops in Nusang Village. Yet they're only using reserves to raid the surroundings… How vexing."
"Probably because this is just a small village. Honestly, I'm impressed big sis managed to gather five hundred men from here."
"That wasn't my power alone. But looking at it this way, their numbers are truly overwhelming. Even if only half of those reserves attacked Nusang Village, we wouldn't be able to stop them."
As Liu Bei said, the gap in forces was so vast that even facing only part of the reserves—let alone clashing directly with Zheng Yuanji, leader of the You Province Yellow Turbans—would mean certain defeat.
…How on earth did these guys actually win?
I can't even begin to imagine.
What, did they make grenades or something?
Now that I think about it, in the novels I read before possessing this body, they mixed dung and urine with hay or mud or something, right?
Anyway, in the Three Kingdoms era they suddenly started making grenades and throwing them… Just how did they do that?
No, they made gunpowder back then using pine cones or whatever and it somehow worked. The novels made it sound plausible enough that I'm still confused whether it was actually possible.
If I'd known I'd end up here, I would've read that part more carefully.
Anyway.
The current situation looked so bleak that even defending, let alone attacking, seemed impossible without gunpowder or grenades.
***
"The one saving grace is that they don't know how many we've gathered. At most they'll think two hundred? So they won't send five thousand—they'll probably send half that. …Of course, even that number is over four times ours."
"That's why I'm sayin'… Listen up, everyone. I got a plan."
All eyes turned to Zhang Fei.
"Before that, big sis, little big sis—remember when our neighboring village got raided a while back?"
Liu Bei and Guan Yu nodded.
"Of course. That's why we gathered the volunteer army in the first place. We convinced everyone that the three of us siblings would protect the village together."
"Right. Those scum were once our neighbors, yet they shamelessly stole from the weak and violated the women. But why are you asking about that now?"
"That village was bigger than ours, but the raiders weren't anywhere near five thousand. Way fewer—maybe two thousand? And the ones coming to raid us will be more than that?"
"No."
"Probably not."
"Exactly. Honestly, five thousand would be tough, but anything less we can handle. Now, look at the map again. Those mountains marked on either side of our village."
"Those spots are perfect for hiding people. So when they come to raid, we'll put two hundred infantry in front of the village and hide the rest in the mountains to make them drop their guard. Once they get close, the hidden cavalry and infantry strike together. They'll come to their senses then, right? And run like hell. Seeing that, the rest—being farmers by birth—will flee without fighting."
"Yide, you're saying that because they're not professional soldiers, once they panic the reserves will all run away?"
"That's right! In a brawl, if you take out the ones shouting orders, the small fry will scatter—you know that too, little big sis. So when they run, you and I will go around and grab only the ones yelling for them to fight. Then what can they do? With the reserves gone, they'll abandon the siege of Zhuoxian to protect their main camp. Naturally, the ones blocking the other side will do the same."
Then won't the government troops just sweep them up? Once Zhang Fei finished, everyone seemed to agree with the plan.
It was certainly a strategy with a high chance of success.
That's what "morale collapse" is for, after all.
When everyone else is running, no one wants to stand alone.
Besides, these weren't soldiers who rebelled—they were just farmers driven to anger by hunger.
Caught off guard from behind, they'd be too worried about their backs to fight properly.
They'd probably huddle in their main camp and let the government troops finish them off.
Then the suppression army would reach the main camp and kill Zheng Yuanji!
Wow! You Province liberated!
That seemed to be the picture.
…Wait a second, what about the spoils in the main camp?
If I go to the suppression army and shout "That's my money! Those bastards stole it from my house!" will they give it back?
No, even I wouldn't give it back if I were them.
So… no spoils?
My money… gone?
1. Suppression army goes to main camp and kills Zheng Yuanji.
2. Suppression army takes the property Zheng Yuanji stole from my house as spoils.
3. Without money, I remain stuck with Liu Bei's army.
4. I wander around with Liu Bei, lose a battle, and die.
5. Or even if we win, I could still die.
No way.
This plan absolutely won't work.
"Yide! That was an excellent plan! Very well, if there are no other opinions, we'll go with this strategy…"
"NO!!!!!! WAY!!!!!!!!"
Ah.
Every gaze turned toward me.
…Shit.
How do I convince them?