Chapter 83
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Translator: 8uhl
Chapter: 83
Chapter Title: The Electric Fly Swatter
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83
The Electric Fly Swatter
‘…Impossible.’
Geombas gritted his fangs in disbelief at the scene unfolding before him.
How could a human be so strong? No, he questioned if the man was even human to begin with.
Countless vampires were torn apart by the man’s sword and hands.
Vampires were predators that fed on humans, yet they were being helplessly pushed back by this one man.
He didn’t stop. Even as fangs sank into him all over, leaving him dripping with red blood, he pressed forward relentlessly.
The helmet obscuring his face made his appearance all the more grotesque. He was like a ‘Death Knight,’ who knew no pain and existed only for slaughter.
Geombas was afraid.
“What are you doing?! Go!”
Geombas’s face flushed at the realization that he felt fear, and he commanded the others around him. Their faces, as if they had drunk orc blood, turned crimson as they screamed and charged forward.
“Ah, that stings. Bite gently, you bastard.”
The man cracked a joke that didn't fit his battered body.
The dissonance made him even more terrifying, but Geombas steeled his resolve as he saw the red blood flowing from the man's body. Though only five remained of the nearly forty vampires, the man was also a mess.
Besides, the fat vampire, Gel Bachtora, was still here.
He had drunk as much blood as Geombas himself, so he would surely be useful.
“We… we must flee…”
“Shut up, Gel Bachtora. Attack.”
Geombas focused and commanded Gel Bachtora.
The wavering in Gel Bachtora’s eyes vanished.
Gwoooaaar!!
Bachtora, having lost his reason, charged toward the man. In that time, Geombas drew upon his power.
The blood of the other vampires in the vicinity flowed into Geombas, and his appearance began to change.
It was a feat possible only because they all stemmed from a single source.
He had sent the others ahead for this very purpose.
Craaaash!
Gel Bachtora and the man became entangled.
The man was hidden from view, obscured by Gel Bachtora.
‘So this is what it feels like.’
He opened his palm, and a massive hand enveloped him. It felt as if he were wearing armor made of black blood.
It was then.
Crrrack.
With a grotesque sound, Gel Bachtora’s back was torn open.
The man burst out, plowing through a shower of entrails, black blood, and flesh.
“Tsk, this got annoying. If I eat that, will I recharge?”
The man muttered incomprehensible words to himself as he looked at Geombas.
“Insolent human. Humans are our prey.”
Geombas muttered, stoking his rage.
Now that he had forged armor from black blood, it couldn't be pierced without an aura. As monstrously strong and tenacious as the man was, he couldn't win against this.
“Ah, is that so? Not bad.”
The man muttered something again.
Geombas gathered all his strength and leaped forward.
He was so fast that the surrounding scenery blurred into long streaks.
‘I was afraid for noth—’
He was right in front of the man, who hadn't reacted. As Geombas was about to finish his thought.
The man’s sword moved.
A blue line was drawn in the air.
‘Aura?! He was a knight! Hiding it until now—’
Thud.
Geombas’s horrified face tumbled to the ground.
“Looks like I’ll be shitting blood again.”
The man popped something that had fallen from Geombas’s body into his mouth and grumbled.
Vampire 15, who had been watching him from hiding, trembled uncontrollably.
“You’re not going to attack?”
“Sir? Oh, no. I’m a prostitute vampire, so I don’t like to fight.”
At the man’s question, Vampire 15 quickly tore open the front of her dress, struck a provocative pose, and forced a smile.
“Is that so? A vampire prostitute. How novel.”
“Yes, well, there are more male vampires, you see.”
“Then you must know quite a bit, hmm? Men do tend to loosen their lips in bed.”
“Yes! A great deal. So much that I don’t know where to begin…”
“Tell me. And why do you keep writhing like that? You want me to hit you?”
“What? N-No.”
Startled by the man’s question, Vampire 15 began to babble everything she knew.
‘Why the fangs?’
As the man listened, he began to pluck out the fangs from the corpses, one by one. Seeing this, Vampire 15 trembled but forced her mouth to keep moving.
She instinctively knew that the moment her words stopped, so would her life.
“…and that’s it.”
“I see.”
“I… I’m a really good vampire! Human blood doesn’t suit my palate, so I only drink the blood of pigs or chickens… And my prices are very cheap, very, very cheap…”
Tears streamed down Vampire 15’s face as she twisted her body, trying desperately to entice him. But he simply approached without a word.
The many fangs hanging from his belt swayed with each step, pressing down on her heart with a chilling weight.
Soon, the man crouched in front of her. Through the visor of his mysterious black helmet, she could see his eyes. They were pure and unwavering, eyes she had never seen before.
“You don’t drink human blood… Hmm… A vegetarian, something like that?”
“Yes! Yes! That’s right! How could I, who was once human, drink human blood! Only the truly wicked ones would, but I became a vampire for purely cosmetic reasons!”
Just then, the man plunged a particularly large fang into her chest. Cold, black blood sprayed out, followed by a searing pain. Vampire 15’s body convulsed.
“Human blood smells different.”
The man’s eyes, visible beyond the helmet, deepened.
They looked as if they were holding something back… much like the eyes of a vampire who had caught the scent of human blood.
‘…A predator demon.’
Only a demon could distinguish him by the smell of blood. And he was clearly a ‘predator demon’ that hunted its own kind.
Realizing her lie had been exposed, Vampire 15 squeezed her eyes shut.
Fortunately, the pain did not last long.
***
‘A vampire prostitute… At this rate, we’ll have vampire priests soon.’
I muttered as I neatly plucked out the creature’s fangs.
I was collecting them, thinking they might be worth a fair bit. Besides, it felt like a waste not to pick up something.
Just then, a presence made me turn my head. The Reject, covered in black gore, was standing by the door.
“This side is finished as well.”
I nodded.
The Reject was slightly out of breath, his chest heaving, and his eyes held more fervor than usual.
‘…He really loves hunting demons.’
I mentally reviewed the information I’d gotten from the vampire prostitute and revised my plan.
My initial plan was broad, leaving plenty of room for additions. This was why plans should always be made with flexibility.
‘Getting the mayor out is the trickiest part…’
For now, I stood up.
At that, the Reject looked up at me with eyes full of anticipation. They shone brighter than they did when he was in front of a cake.
Half-measures wouldn't do for this kind of incident.
It had to be so big that others would think of containing it before they even thought of catching the culprit.
I checked outside the window.
This place must have been quite important to the vampires, as a large number of them were flocking toward the massive fire.
Fangs bared, they approached the mansion.
They looked just like moths drawn to a flame.
The Reject gave a sharp nod.
I nodded back.
The Reject’s back looked like that of a gallant hound.
Then, he shattered the window and leaped outside, unleashing a brilliant light.
‘No, more like an electric fly swatter.’
I chuckled softly and readjusted my grip on my sword.
***
“Hey, Dante. Are you mad? Weren’t you the one who said we shouldn’t engage until all the 2nd-grade managers were gathered! We haven’t even identified all the vampires yet!”
Grun, the old leader of the Cute Rabbits, opened his mouth, his face wrinkled in a frown. Jo Anderson, leader of the Chilly Daggers, nodded in agreement.
The Lonely Wolves had started this without a word, and the others had been forced to scramble to keep up. The suddenness of it all meant they hadn't even had time to prepare properly.
“I am no longer Dante. I am Danso. Remember that.”
“What the hell kind of…”
Grun was struck speechless by the nonsensical reply.
Dante had been the one with the sharpest mind among them. To suddenly rally their forces and declare himself ‘Danso’…
“Looks like he’s lost it. Did a vampire bite you or something?”
Jo Anderson, who had never liked Dante, was immediately confrontational. The way he spun a dagger in his hand suggested he was thoroughly displeased.
“Hey, Jo Anderson, now’s not the time for us to be fighting… And Dante, you should at least explain to us what’s going on.”
Grun said, trying to placate Jo Anderson.
“We never had a chance of winning anyway.”
“But you were the one who said…”
“Once the 2nd-grade manager, Penne, turned, it was only a matter of time before we collapsed. That’s why I told you, Jo Anderson, to manage things properly… Tsk. Anyway, of the time we have left, our chances are highest right now.”
Dante said firmly. Jo Anderson, looking slightly guilty, turned his head away.
“Even so, you should have given us time to prepare… Making such a unilateral decision and starting things like this…”
Grun said, trying to suppress his anger.
“Have you ever seen a typhoon announce its arrival?”
“What does that…”
Grun frowned at Dante’s out-of-place remark.
“A typhoon has arrived, and we are simply moving in response. All we can do is pray it heads toward the vampires.”
It was incomprehensible nonsense, but coming from Dante, it made Grun wonder if he was the one who was slow-witted.
“Sir Dante!! What is all this, suddenly!”
Just then, Shone, a 2nd-grade manager, came running up, out of breath.
Grun and Jo Anderson hastily bowed their heads slightly and stepped back. At least a 2nd-grade manager could handle this madman Dante…
“I am no longer Dante. I am Danso.”
“Pardon? Ah, Sir Danso, so what is happening!”
“He has come.”
“He? You mean… Aron? Oh, really?!”
“Yes. This is his command.”
“Mmm… Like that time?”
“Yes.”
Seeing the gleam in Shone’s eyes, Grun grew uneasy.
“But if he came to Karzan, why didn’t he look for me first? It must be hard for an outsider to find his way around.”
“Ah, he said to tell you to meet him at ‘the Choking Pig’ after everything is done.”
“Of course! There’s no way he’d forget me! We’re the ones who turned Karzan into a sea of fire together!”
‘…?’
Shone seemed a little different from his usual upright and calm self.
“So, how do we proceed?”
“I’ve initiated the first phase, and he said he would give a signal for the next…”
BOOOOOOM—!!
“…as I was saying.”
A timely explosion drowned out the rest of Dante’s words.
Grun stared blankly as a wave of hot air washed over him, turning his head toward the source of the explosion. It had come from the direction of the vile Gel Bachtora’s grand mansion.
“There’s the signal.”
“…Yes.”
“Alright, everyone, you’ve all suffered for so long! Let’s drive out these vampire bastards! Let’s go, let’s go!”
Shone’s shout brought Grun back to his senses.
He didn’t know what was happening or how…
But it had already begun.
This was no time for questions; it was time to move.
“Everyone, grab your tools!!”
Grun shouted, pulling the chisel and hammer from his belt.
***
“Dammit! How are we supposed to fight vampires…”
“If you have time to complain, swing your hammer! You bastard!!”
Though he yelled at the man, Grun felt no different.
At first, he thought Dante was mad. Or that he’d given up. Even so, Grun had no other choice.
If the ‘Lonely Wolves’ fell, it was obvious who would be next.
All he could do was swing his hammer.
It took four strong men to take on a single vampire. Even then, it was a close call; a fifth was needed for a comfortable margin.
‘There are fewer vampires than I thought.’
It was surely related to that ‘signal’ from before.
For some reason, the vampires were openly revealing their power, unlike before. And that was a clear advantage for the humans.
“Fulfill the dark duty of humanity!!”
Because they could now bring out the knights who had been in hiding.
Blue lights flared up from all over. Knights with grim expressions burst out into the open.
Recruiting knights had been the top priority in dealing with the vampires. After all, Inquisitors and knights were the most effective at hunting demons.
Unlike the Inquisitors, who acted even if it was foolish, the knights wouldn’t move unless the demons revealed themselves openly. A good number of them had even hastily fled Karzan.
The vampires knew this, which was why they had been quietly expanding their influence from the shadows…
‘Why did they suddenly reveal their power?’
Just then, three men collapsed, vomiting blood simultaneously.
A vampire lapped up the pooling blood.
This one was stronger than the others.
They couldn’t handle it on their own.
A knight had to appear…
Grun instinctively took a step back.
In that moment.
Something approached the creature at high speed.
Then, a white line was drawn.
The creature’s head rolled onto the ground.
A tall, beautiful woman in silver armor had appeared.
‘…An Inquisitor?’
The woman drew a mace from her hip and began to smash the already-shattered head of the creature.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Grun trembled at the grotesque sight.
The surrounding chaos instantly fell silent.
“Takgu.”
After reducing the head to a complete pulp, the woman looked around and spoke. The area was so quiet that her soft voice carried clearly.
Just then.
“Come back!”
A deep voice called out from somewhere.
The woman nodded sharply and vanished.
‘…Takgu?’
Grun swallowed hard, staring at the lone pile of meat that remained.
***
‘May the sun light my path.’
Brighton, having followed the child, muttered a short prayer.
He was in a slum, where shabby buildings were crammed together.
The child pointed at the most dilapidated house among them, trembling.
There was none of the vitality that should have been present if people were living there. It was late, but it was too quiet even for that. It was as if everyone was dead.
Brighton briefly considered what he could do. Having spent his entire life devoted to the scriptures and his faith, only a few options came to mind.
‘I hope this vampire creature hates the scriptures as much as Honorary Monk Aron does.’
Brighton gave a bitter smile and patted the child’s head.
“Th-That’s the place.”
The child pleaded, tugging on Brighton’s monastic robes.
“Alright, I will check on it. Child, will you help me?”
“Yes. Please. Please, our…”
“Yes. First, calm yourself. One makes mistakes when agitated, no matter the situation.”
Brighton forced his heavy lips into a smile and nodded to reassure the child.
‘What I can do.’
Besides prayer and reading scriptures, there were a few other things.
“Will you run along this street and shout ‘Aron!’? If a large man approaches, tell him what’s happening here, and if he’s late, tell him it’ll be five services. That will be enough.”
“…Yes!”
Brighton patted the back of the child, who answered cheerfully, and headed for the house.
“Aron!! Aron!!”
He smiled faintly at the child’s shouts behind him.
The house was dark, untouched by the sun.
Brighton entered without hesitation.
The thick, metallic scent of blood filled the air.
It was similar to the scent of Honorary Monk Aron.
Uuuugh…
A pained groan.
He saw the back of a man with his face buried in a woman’s neck.
Brighton clutched the scripture he always carried and recited a prayer. It was all he knew how to do.
‘…A useless man.’
He gave a self-deprecating smile and opened his mouth.
“Though I walk through the darkest of paths, the sun shall light my way…”
Crrrack.
With a grotesque sound, the man turned his head. His mouth was smeared with blood as he smiled at Brighton.
‘This is no ordinary vampire.’
“Though it may feel dark, if faith and conviction are within, you shall not lose your way.”
Brighton spoke firmly, raising his divine power.
A brilliant light pushed back the surrounding darkness, illuminating the interior. The smiling man winced and opened his mouth wide.
Fangs as sharp as daggers.
The Abbot continued to read from the scripture.
The man flinched for a moment but then tilted his head and reached a hand toward the light.
Sizzle. His fingertips began to burn, but the man’s lips curled into a smile.
“It just stings a little.”
The man muttered in a near whisper and pushed his hand further in.
Sizzzzzle!
The reaction was stronger, but the man simply flicked his wrist, looking down at his own charred skin.
“Shadows recede before the light, and darkness yields to the sun. If you believe…”
“A cleric whose faith is wavering… Yours is not as strong as it appears. It’s merely a sting.”
The man’s whispers dug into Brighton’s sore spots. Brighton shook his head lightly and recited the prayer even louder.
“If your god truly shines like the sun…”
Sizzle.
The man slowly approached. Sparks flew as the brilliant light tried to push him back, but the creature merely grimaced.
May the sun light my path.
Brighton kept muttering.
It was all he could do.
“Where is he now?”
Sizzzzzzle!!
Soon, the man was close enough to touch.
His skin burned, and a foul stench filled the air. The man’s form had become hideous, but he was still smiling.
The words whispered by the man’s wicked tongue stirred up things Brighton had long suppressed. As they rose to the surface, the light began to weaken.
The sun…
“Because I don’t see him.”
The man extended both hands.
The hands, burnt to reveal the muscle beneath, slowly drew closer.
Just as the creature said, all he could see were those terrible hands.
Crash.
Just then, the sound of something breaking echoed from a distance.
“…I don’t know where He is.”
Brighton stopped his prayer and faced the man.
“Given up? You looked tastier when you were glowing.”
The man, his face melted to expose his gums, clicked his teeth.
CRASH!
The sound was getting closer.
“But I do know this.”
Brighton’s voice was firmer than when he had been reciting prayers.
The man’s head snapped sideways with a crack.
“That Vampire Hunter Takgu is near.”
With a bitter smile, Brighton took a step back.
BOOOOOM!!
“You son of a bitch vampire! Trying to stick me with services!!”
Something burst through the wall, grabbed the man, and vanished. It moved so fast that it was just a blur.
“The legendary Vampire Hunter, Takgu!!”
‘What did I just say…’
A moment later, a shout from the distance made Brighton’s face burn with embarrassment.
Brighton briefly touched his scripture before rushing to the fallen woman.
A faint breath.
She was in critical condition, but at least she was alive.
“May the sun light your path.”
Healing, after all, was one of the few skills he possessed.
***
‘Hehe.’
Dylan the weasel kept laughing as he looked at the two sticks in his hand. He laughed just because laughter came out. Tears came out too, so he laughed while crying.
He had to pee, so he just let it go.
What was once one would soon be two; what did any of that matter now?
He felt like he had to poop too, but after a moment’s thought, he shook his head. That seemed like a bit much.
As he sat there blankly, a brilliant idea struck him.
‘What if I get seriously fucked up?! What if I lost a life-or-death battle with a vampire, and he broke the stick?!’
Sensing the scent of survival, Dylan’s mind raced furiously.
It wasn't a bad plan.
That son of a bitch was a bastard, but he seemed to be a bastard who could tell what was what.
‘Let’s go. Let’s go out and get my ass kicked by a vampire. Just enough not to die.’
He considered self-harm, but the man’s senses were devilishly sharp.
Enduring a little pain was surely better for his nether regions than attempting a clumsy act.
Dylan cautiously moved the stone and slipped outside.
It was incredibly noisy out.
‘They said it was a festival. Is this really a festival?’
Flames burned everywhere, and people were shouting.
It did feel like a festival.
Glancing around, Dylan dusted himself off and began to move, searching for a place where a vampire might be.
‘Find one with moderately sized fangs… sneak up and smack him on the back of the head to start, then we’ll tussle a bit… and if I stick the rod in his mouth… perfect!’
It was a perfect plan, but there was one major problem.
‘…There are no vampires?’
No matter how much he wandered, he couldn’t find a single vampire. He’d heard this was a vampire’s world, but everywhere he went, there were only corpses.
‘What in the world…’
The city, which had been fine until just a while ago, was now in ruins.
Countless buildings had collapsed, and bodies were strewn about. The fires burning everywhere lit up the night.
The strange thing was…
‘Why do they all look so happy?’
The people, covered in blood, were all cheering. They were weeping with joy, like soldiers who had just won a war.
‘No, this is not the time. One becomes two, one becomes two.’
Dylan chanted the mantra and hurried on his way.
He circled the castle, but there were no vampires to be seen. He considered just asking people to beat him up, but he had a feeling the man would see through it.
‘Hehe…’
Dylan squatted down and started laughing again.
He laughed just because laughter came out.
Then he noticed a chicken coop nearby and remembered a method they used in his old village. When something broke, they would often use egg whites to glue it back together.
‘That’s it! Egg whites!’
Dylan quickly entered the coop.
A chicken with an unusually large comb, half the size of a grown man, glared at him and charged. Dylan showed the creature the terror of man.
After a brief tussle, he grabbed five eggs from a corner and came back out.
He placed the stick on a flat stone and poured egg whites over it. He blew hot breath on it to make it congeal…
A moment later, Dylan grinned, holding the seamlessly repaired stick.
‘One is better than two!’
Considering that bastard’s meticulous nature, there was a chance he’d check if it still worked. So, Dylan took the stick and looked for a suitable place to test it.
There was a castle wall in the middle, like an inner fortress. The wall was wide and high, seeming like a worthy opponent.
Dylan stood before it, striking a pose like a knight preparing for a duel, and extended the stick.
“Take this, you son of a bitch!”
He pressed the button on the stick, but…
“Huh?”
There was no reaction. He pressed the button several more times and smacked it with his fist, but then the stick suddenly began to vibrate with a ‘whummm…’ sound.
The stick didn't stop there; it grew hotter and hotter until it started to glow red.
Even Dylan, a layman in magic, knew something was wrong.
“Calm down, Mr. Stick. Calm down. Don’t get excited!”
Startled, Dylan tried to gently soothe the stick, but the vibrations only grew stronger.
Soon, the vibrations intensified, and the humming grew louder. Faced with another crisis, Dylan’s mind spun.
“Screw it!!”
Dylan hurled the stick over the castle wall and scrambled back. He hid behind the sturdiest-looking building and tried to catch his ragged breath.
However, after a good while, there was no reaction, so he cautiously peeked out.
‘What, was it nothing?’
He was about to start muttering ‘one becomes two…’ again.
BOOOOOOOOOOM—!!
A massive explosion, bigger than anything he had ever seen in his life, erupted.
The thick, high castle wall crumbled, revealing the scene within.
A large, sturdy-looking castle was half-destroyed.
And on top of it, the imperial flag.
The imperial flag was on fire.
“Hehe… hehehe.”
Looking at it, Dylan just laughed.
The laughter kept coming, but tears came with it.
So he laughed as he cried.
*Piiik-*
*Piiik-*
He’d burned the imperial flag!
It was a declaration of war against the Empire!
…Hehe.
Dylan just kept laughing, endlessly.
He just laughed.