Chapter 42
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Translator: 8uhl
Chapter: 42
Chapter Title: A High-End Refrigerator
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“Wh-what is all this…?”
I couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction at the shock on their faces.
They stared, mouths agape, at the breastplates I had laid out before them.
It was understandable.
What kind of team leader in their right mind would buy his men steel breastplates?
“Pick one.”
I waved a hand nonchalantly, as if it were no big deal.
Still, they didn’t move, seemingly unable to shake off their shock.
Then, Jokjebi sprang forward.
“Boss!! To give us such an incredible gift! A gift I’ve never even received from my own father!! From this day on, I won’t call you Boss, but Father! Father!!”
Jokjebi quickly snatched a breastplate that looked like it would fit him perfectly. It was orange.
I chuckled in spite of myself, watching him shamelessly cry out ‘Father! Boss!’ as he scrambled to put on the breastplate, worried someone might take it from him.
He was a fiend when it came to getting his share.
“…Jojang, where in the world did you find all these different colors? Brick! That one’s mine!”
Kel, who had been muttering with a dubious look, suddenly yelled when Brick picked up the purple breastplate.
“I’ve already picked it up.”
While Brick and Kel bickered, Berman chose a blue one and Pul a green one.
“Thank you, Jojang. I never imagined I’d receive a gift like this in my entire life.”
Snake-eyed Pul looked at me with uncharacteristically moist eyes as he expressed his gratitude. It was so out of character that I shivered and waved him off.
“Jojang, I think this is a bit big for me.”
Berman said, shaking the breastplate slightly.
“Tighten the leather straps, and if it’s still too big, put on some weight.”
“…Excuse me?”
“I said, put on some weight.”
“Ah! Yes.”
Berman’s eyes widened in understanding, and he nodded.
Kel and Brick argued for quite a while.
Then Kel said, ‘I’ll teach you my secret hand technique! If you know this, women will…’ and Brick’s eyes went wide as he relinquished the purple breastplate.
“Ah, ye…llow…”
Brick whimpered as he picked up the last remaining yellow breastplate, but no one paid him any mind.
*Breastplates really do make the best souvenirs.*
A warm feeling spread through me as I watched them fight over their new gear.
It felt like all the trouble I’d gone through running around Karzan was melting away.
Was this how my father felt when he used to bring home fried chicken after work?
“Jojang, you have a strange look on your face.”
“What.”
“…Nothing.”
Once they all took off their leather armor and donned the thick steel breastplates, they looked quite formidable.
“…I’m dreading tomorrow’s shift.”
Berman said, tapping his breastplate with a finger.
The others nodded in agreement.
“But Jojang, you really do have a thing for colorful stuff.”
“As long as the armor is thick, who cares.”
“Anyway, thank you so much, Jojang. I’ll be sure to tell Rosa… Ouch!”
I smacked Kel on the back of the head to shut him up.
“Ah, Jojang. I heard from the inner wall side, did something happen in Karzan? They said the city was completely wrecked…”
“The guards over there aren’t very good at their jobs.”
I answered Berman’s question, scratching my cheek.
It was less that they were incompetent and more that they just didn’t do their jobs. I hadn’t run into a single guard during that whole chaotic mess.
*Made things easier for me, though.*
“But for something to happen right when my father was visiting Karzan…?”
Jokjebi, who had been tapping his breastplate with his palm, tilted his head and muttered.
The noisy group fell silent.
“It was a coincidence. I was quite flustered myself.”
I answered as naturally as I could, but the suspicion in their eyes didn’t quite fade.
Just then, Brick started making a fuss, inspecting his breastplate from all angles.
“What are you doing?”
“Checking to see if there’s any blood on it. Jojang, did you really buy this? Or did you… happen to strip it off a dead guy?”
Brick’s question was so absurd I had to laugh. Suddenly, the others started inspecting their breastplates just like him.
The sight was so amusing that I stayed quiet, pretending there might actually be something to find. Their hands grew even more frantic.
“Found some!! Blood!”
Considering how cheap the breastplates were, it was possible the blacksmith had just painted over some stolen goods and sold them.
It didn’t really matter to me.
“Well, what’s the big deal? No matter what happened to the previous owner, this thing is solid enough to make a nice *thunk* sound.”
Jokjebi said with a shrug.
The others muttered their agreement, nodding. “That’s true.”
“…Ahem. Aron?”
Ska, who had been quiet, called out to me.
“What are you doing here?”
“We’ve gotten close. But… is there nothing for me?”
Ska’s round eyes, which didn’t suit his large frame and beard, sparkled.
*I forgot about him.*
No need to let him know that, though.
“Of course, I have something for you. Here, take this. It’s a special dagger I got in Karzan.”
I discreetly passed him the dagger I’d used to butcher goblins under the table, as if it were a precious treasure.
“Ooh… as expected…”
Ska awkwardly glanced around before quickly hiding the dagger. The steam puffing from his nostrils showed just how pleased he was.
I was planning on buying a new dagger anyway, and he was happy to get it, so it was a perfect trade.
“Make some room, please.”
Just then, Hana arrived, her hands full of beer.
“Oh? Hana, is that a new headband?”
“Oh my, is it?”
Hana flashed a bright smile at Kel’s question, casually adjusting the golden headband.
“Scoot over a bit.”
Hana nudged Jokjebi, who was sitting next to me, and slid into his spot.
“What about the tavern?”
“The wagoners aren’t coming in right now, so we’re out of ingredients. We can’t do business. All that’s left is what we have for ourselves.”
“That’s right, Jojang. The castle is in an uproar. The Lord’s people are even confiscating foodstuffs, saying it’s for the cleansing preparations. People are complaining everywhere.”
“They took all my cured meat! That damn Lord is a real son of a bitch, I tell you!”
Hana rolled up her sleeves and swore fiercely. The others coughed and looked away. Jokjebi even pushed his chair back and moved to another table.
“What’s wrong with you all? People even curse the emperor behind his back. Are you scared?”
“No, it’s not that…”
“You’re scared. Totally scared.”
“Scared? That fucking bastard of a Lord!”
“Ahahaha!”
Goaded by Hana, Kel finally spat out a curse, panting and constantly looking around.
“Boss. No, Father. …I think Purple might be a genius.”
Jokjebi, who had reappeared at some point, said with a serious face.
“Purple?”
“Yes.”
Jokjebi nodded at my question.
“Dylan calls Kanna ‘Purple’.”
Hana’s explanation finally made Jokjebi’s words make sense.
“A genius?”
“Yes, I’m certain! Look at this!”
Jokjebi showed me his beer mug. I let out a small gasp when I saw the ice inside.
The ice was shaped like the face of a very handsome man, as if sculpted by an artist. A face covered in scars.
*…This kid is evolving in the wrong direction.*
Watching an ice sculpture of my own face bobbing in beer and slowly melting wasn’t exactly a pleasant sight.
“Isn’t it amazing? And yesterday, she was rolling two dice on top of her head…”
After that, Jokjebi went on and on, praising the mini-refrigerator.
Most of it was useless drivel, like how she was a genius because she could eat on her own.
But as I listened to Jokjebi’s constant chattering, like he was trying to brainwash me, my own opinion started to lean toward ‘genius’.
After drinking for a while, an excited Jokjebi brought Kanna over.
Kanna, the corners of her mouth turned up in a smirk, froze a beer with one hand while spinning dice with the other. Everyone clapped and cheered.
“Genius! Genius! Genius!”
With Jokjebi constantly muttering beside me, the mini-refrigerator was starting to look more like a high-end refrigerator.
“As expected! She’s a genius, our Purple! Purple is a genius!”
Jokjebi clapped and cheered, and the mini-refrigerator’s lips twitched.
I had seen mages who could turn people into pools of blood with a gesture and mages who could transform into dragons, but for some reason, this little one seemed more impressive than all of them.
*Am I being brainwashed?*
I scratched my head.
“Father, isn’t it a loss for the empire to let such a genius rot away in the frontier?!”
“…If you call me Father one more time, I’ll.”
I trailed off, but Jokjebi seemed to understand, nodding his head furiously.
“Ooooh!!”
By then, the mini-refrigerator had climbed onto Brick’s shoulder, dipped her hand in a beer mug, and flicked it, spraying a shower of lightly frozen droplets. Everyone stood up and cheered.
*The academy tuition is…*
I seriously considered it, having a premonition that if left to her own devices, the kid would become a magnificent clown.
However, the academy only accepted adults, so it was still a long way off.
Besides, the mage with the laundering ability was supposed to come and teach her.
*…But will that guy be okay?*
Suddenly, I remembered the rabid goblin I’d met on my way back and scratched my cheek.
*He’s a mage, though. He wouldn’t be reckless enough to come running just because I stuffed a few gold coins in his mouth, right?*
I dismissed the thought and drank the cold beer, my ice-sculpted face floating within.
“Genius! Genius!”
As if they’d caught it from Jokjebi, everyone started chanting ‘genius.’ Kanna puffed out her chest and kept flicking beer everywhere.
*I don’t really need a sprinkler function.*
Still, she looked so cute that I couldn’t help but clap.
***
“Good morning, Jojang.”
Berman, the dark circles under his eyes betraying a hangover, greeted me with a nod.
“Yeah. Patrol today?”
I replied, changing into my work boots.
The cushioning was gone, replaced by a damp sogginess.
For a moment, I considered just buying a new pair with my own money.
But even with a pocket full of gold, I didn’t want to spend my own money on work boots.
“Yes. Patrol.”
“Anything happen while I was gone?”
“No. Nothing ever happens.”
I nodded at Berman’s words and stood up.
“Oh, right. Someone from the church came looking for you while you were away. That new abbot, I think? He was looking for you. Seemed like a real stickler…”
“So something did happen, you bastard.”
I recalled the man from the checkpoint. The insufferable guy who had even pointed out the angle of my elbows.
“What? He was probably just looking for you because you’re an honorary monk, right?”
I gave the clueless-looking Berman a light smack on the head and headed outside. Berman followed, grumbling.
“Oh, and there’s a rumor that a new group of guys has gathered in Sector 6.”
“Is that so? We should check that out first, then.”
Berman and I headed for Sector 6.
It was better than Sector 7, but worse than Sector 5. A place where a disgusting sort of mud clung to your boots with every step.
“Are these people still shitting in the streets?”
“They say it’s gotten a lot better since you started smacking heads and telling them off, Jojang.”
“I don’t know, it smells weird. Hey! You there! Come here.”
I called over a guy walking with a swagger up ahead.
I’d seen him a few times after he’d gotten drunk and caused trouble.
“Aron? …What?”
“Go get some water and splash it from here to there.”
“…Uh, okay.”
The guy hesitated for a moment before nodding obediently.
I watched him fetch a large wooden bucket full of water before moving on.
“Ah, it’s over there, Jojang.”
“Right.”
The place Berman led me to was at the very edge of Sector 6, an alley that bordered Sector 7.
“Why do weirdos always hang out in places like this?”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
As we chatted and walked deeper into the alley, we found, just as Berman had said, six men gathered together, looking like they were up to no good.
I didn’t recognize any of them.
But their sturdy builds and chiseled faces suggested they’d lived rough lives.
“Are you still smacking people on the back of the head?”
“Yes, but they say it’s hard to catch anyone these days. Everyone just laughs even if they get hit.”
“I bet. Hey, friends, over here.”
I waved, calling them over.
The men scowled for a moment before approaching with awkward smiles.
*They sure look vicious.*
I met their harsh gazes with a friendly smile, which made them flinch and take a step back.
“Good day.”
One of the men, who had a neat haircut, bowed his head deeply.
*This is tricky.*
It was always awkward to hit guys who came out bowing and scraping like this.
It was much easier if they acted tough; then we could have a frank conversation…
“Name?”
“Ah, it’s Jouji.”
“George? Sounds kinda shitty.”
“…Excuse me?”
The man’s face stiffened for a second before returning to normal.
“Haha, it’s the name my mother gave me.”
He continued, smiling awkwardly.
“Right. Well. Friend George, what brings you to Caserdic Castle? With all your ugly friends, no less.”
“…Haha. This is my mother’s hometown, so I came with the friends I used to work with. She always said Caserdic Castle was a good place to live.”
The men, except for George, nodded with grim faces. It seemed George was their leader.
“Is that so? It’s good to have able-bodied men moving in. So, what kind of work are you planning to do?”
“Well… we’re still thinking about that. We thought about opening a tavern at first, but there seem to be quite a few already.”
Since he kept being so deferential, there wasn’t much more I could dig into.
Scratching my cheek, I decided to keep it simple.
“Alright, friends, shirts off.”
“…Excuse me?”
“Shirts off! Take them off, now!”
Berman barked from the side, and the men’s expressions completely soured.
I didn’t want to see a bunch of men’s bare torsos either.
But considering recent events, this was the fastest way.
They could be some troubled fellows with the Devil’s Handprint, or maybe even evil black mages.
“Even if you are the guard, you can’t be this forceful…”
One of George’s friends raised his voice. He had a large pimple scar on his nose.
“Oh?”
“Wait! I’ll talk to them.”
As I let out a small sound of interest, George quickly turned around and huddled with his men.
A moment later, they were standing in a line in front of me, shirtless. There were no Devil’s Handprints, but their bodies were covered in scars and tattoos.
“The work you did together… doesn’t seem like it was farming, huh?”
“That’s just life, isn’t it? Even farming requires permission and land…”
George’s voice trailed off as he slipped two silver coins into my hand.
I fiddled with the coins.
Then, pretending my hand slipped, I gave him a light smack on the back of the head, but he just laughed it off. He was a tricky one.
*Ska’s going to have his hands full with this one.*
The scars and tattoos suggested they were thugs, but since they were being so submissive, I had no pretext to arrest them. They weren’t carrying any weapons, either.
“Alright. Stay out of trouble.”
“Yes, sir. Have a good day.”
I patted the bowing man’s shoulder and turned to leave.
Have a good day!
The men called out in unison behind me.
“I smelled silver, you know.”
“They were surprisingly well-behaved.”
Berman replied, pocketing the silver coin I’d given him.
“I can’t find a pretext.”
“…Did you even look for one, Jojang?”
I let Berman’s muttering go in one ear and out the other.
This could be a good opportunity for Ska to get his act together. Besides his size, he wasn’t cut out for that kind of life anyway.
We patrolled Sectors 6 and 7, then grabbed a beer in Sector 5 and continued our rounds, sipping as we went.
As we passed the front of the inner wall, I saw the guards there rushing about.
With supplies piled up everywhere, it looked like they were preparing for the cleansing.
Bastard Squared Jace was among them.
He was sweating profusely, carrying a large sack.
“Wow, look at him busting his ass.”
Jace surely heard me, but he seemed intent on ignoring me, showing no reaction.
“Woooow, look at him busting his ass!”
“Busting his ass!”
I raised my voice, and Berman awkwardly echoed me from the side. After about the third time, a red-faced Jace came running over.
“What is it, commoner. You are loud. Go away.”
“Just a question. Bastard Squared. When is the cleansing.”
His robotic, clipped way of speaking was quite amusing, so I imitated him. Jace’s hands started to tremble.
“Do you think I would tell you?”
“If you do not tell. I will continue.”
“…You ignorant commoner.”
“Berman.”
“Haha, I am. Fine. Jojang. Jace. The inner wall. How is it.”
“Three days from now. You damn outer wall bastards. Always taking it easy…”
Jace glared back and forth between me and Berman, muttering curses.
“Thank you.”
“Thanks.”
“Hey, Jace!! You slacking off again, you bastard?!”
Just then, another guard yelled from behind them. Startled, Jace scurried back.
“He’s got it rough, too.”
“Indeed. He could have stayed with the Outer Wall Guard and had an easy life. He just had to go over there and make things hard for himself.”
“Ah, but I heard he has a girlfriend.”
“…Why are you looking at me when you say that?”
I didn’t answer and started walking. Berman followed, repeating several times that he was simply waiting for fate.
“I’m heading to the priory.”
“Yes, sir. Take care.”
“I’ll go pray for you to get a girlfriend. I’m an honorary monk, after all…”
“Hey, Jojang! Seriously!”
Berman shrieked.
I laughed loudly and ran off.
***
*The atmosphere is…*
Monks with bluish circles under their eyes were rushing around the priory.
Not even a week had passed since my last visit, but the atmosphere was the complete opposite.
The priory, which had once smelled of honey, had become a morgue where monks walked around like zombies.
*He must be a real piece of work.*
Some of the monks were wiping down the priory walls with cloths.
They were muttering something, and when I listened closely, it wasn’t prayers.
I checked my uniform, dusted off my golden cape, and went inside.
The inside of the priory was much cleaner than the last time I was here.
No, it was beyond clean.
I casually ran a finger along a windowsill, and nothing came off.
“Ah, Honorary Monk Aron!”
A familiar face greeted me.
It was the earlobe monk, Ains.
Unlike the other monks who looked half-dead, he was as energetic as ever.
“Monk Ains.”
“Priest Blian has been looking for you! I heard you visited Karzan? The monastery there is truly beautiful, did you see it?”
Monk Ains said with a bright smile.
*Was there something like that there?*
I think there might have been. I was too busy running with a bag of gold to get a good look.
“Yes, it was very beautiful. But you said Priest Blian was looking for me…?”
“Yes, Priest Blian has been in a very bad state lately…”
It made sense. Being stuck between an Inquisitor and a strict abbot would surely drive anyone insane.
*…But why is he looking for me?*
I felt uneasy but nodded and followed Ains inside.
It seemed better to meet Blian before the abbot.
*Knock, knock.*
“Who is it!”
Ains smiled bitterly at the irritable voice.
“It is Monk Ains. Honorary Monk Aron has come to see you.”
“Ah! Honorary Monk Aron! Come in! Quickly!”
“Please, go in.”
Feeling unsettled, I nodded and entered.
Unlike my last visit, the room was spartan, devoid of any decorations.
It was as if it had been robbed, with only a single scripture left on the desk.
And it was placed perfectly in the center, as if measured with a ruler.
“Honorary Monk Aron!”
Priest Blian literally came running to me barefoot.
*…Why is he barefoot?*
“Yes, Priest Blian.”
“My dear Honorary Monk Aron, I have a very important favor to ask of you!”
Priest Blian shouted, his voice thick with sincerity, his hands trembling as he gripped my arm.
“Yes, what is it?”
“I knew it! I knew Honorary Monk Aron would grant my request! Then I’m counting on you!”
I was dumbfounded that he was already beaming without even telling me what the favor was.
“And that favor is…?”
“Ah! I forgot the most important part! It’s simple! After hearing all the glorious stories about you, I thought asking you would be the fastest way! And the two of us have a special bond, do we not?”
Blian spoke earnestly, spittle flying from his mouth.
“…Yes, well, I suppose so. So, what is the favor?”
“Brighton! Please kill that son of a bitch for me!”
I never expected to hear a priest ask someone to kill another person. I was so stunned that I was momentarily speechless.
*What kind of glorious stories did he hear about me that he’s asking me to kill someone? This crazy pig of a priest.*
I pressed my temples as anger flared up inside me.
He was a pig of a priest who skimmed off the top and frequented brothels, but he had always kept within certain lines. What on earth could have happened…?
“Who is Brighton?”
First, I asked who the target, Brighton, was.
If the man ended up dead, I could just arrest this pig priest.
“Ah, you must not know yet! He’s the new abbot! A devilish, vicious, cursed son of a bitch!”
Blian’s jaundiced eyes darted back and forth frantically.
So, a priest was asking a guard captain to kill an abbot.
*Is he insane?*
The absurd situation made me cough.
“You haven’t met him yet, that’s why! You don’t know how vicious he is! Those endless prayers! The scriptures! Dawn prayers! I can’t breathe these days! I can’t breathe! *Gasp! Gasp!*”
Blian pounded his chest as if he were truly having trouble breathing, exploding with frustration.
*But prayers, scriptures, dawn prayers… aren’t those things a priest is supposed to do?*
I kept the thought to myself, afraid my praise-dispensing machine would break if I said it out loud.
I responded to Blian’s emotional tale by cursing without a subject and punching the air a few times.
At that, Blian, looking as if he’d found his savior, pulled out all the gold coins from his pockets and handed them to me.
“Th-that’s right! It’s a down payment! A down payment! If you just take care of him, I’ll give you something that makes this pale in comparison!”
He had clearly lost his mind.
I didn’t bother refusing and took the money.
Given the nature of the request, he wouldn’t be able to report me even if I just took the gold and ran.
*Wait, since I’m the guard, is there even anywhere for him to report it?*
In any case, it was free money.
“Priest Blian’s hardship is my trial, is it not?”
Wondering if I could squeeze out any more, I prodded him gently. Blian reached inside his robes, pulled out another gold coin, and gave it to me.
The coin was warm, which felt unpleasant, but gold was gold, so I smiled brightly.
“You can count on me! I’ll be sure to take care of it.”
Priest Blian grasped my hand and smiled brightly.
I smiled back, feeling the weight of the gold in my pocket.
***
After prying myself away from Priest Blian, who tried to shove a ceremonial staff into my hands and tell me to beat the man with it, I headed for the abbot’s room.
I was curious to see what kind of person could make Blian have a fit and turn the honey-faced monks into zombies.
It took me only the time to drink two cups of tea to find out.
“What do you mean, an honorary monk doesn’t know the prayers? Here, repeat after me. The sun illuminates the dark land, and the many falsehoods retreat…”
“You say you haven’t memorized the scriptures because your life is busy? When I was a monk, I stayed up all night reading the scriptures. Everything is an excuse. Here, take this. It is a scripture I have read for a long time, but since you do not have one, I will give it to you specially. I repeat, being busy is merely an excuse. I will be sure to check when we next meet.”
“So your daily duties begin… Ah, at sunrise? Then there should be plenty of time. Come to the priory when the sun is just beginning to rise. Everyone prays at that time these days, so it will help your faith. What? Training? Then wake up a little earlier. Sleep can be overcome with willpower.”
“Although you are an honorary monk, you are now a man of the Sun God’s clergy. This is all for your own good. If you build a solid foundation of faith like this, it will all be of help to you someday.”
Endlessly.
I had to resist the urge to let my hand drift to the hilt of my sword as I listened to that cursed, low-pitched voice drone on and on.
Finally, as the abbot began to lecture me on my slouching posture, I seriously contemplated it.
*If the down payment was five gold coins, how much is the success fee?*
As the abbot forced a shabby-looking scripture into my hands, I pondered the question with grave seriousness.
