Chapter 55
Chapter 55
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 55
Chapter Title: 9th Floor: Backpack Expedition
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We had reached an understanding with the merchant and the great warrior, and thus the Backpack Exploration Team was formed.
"Customer, there's no profit in this for me."
The merchant, who seemed re-energized after getting his backpack stuffed full of goods back, offered that weak protest. But who ever really wants to do group projects?
"You have to come along anyway if you want to find that Headless guy's body."
"It's Headless, not Harrison. Don't turn the kid into a baldy, customer."
I had no idea what difference it made whether he had no head or no hair, but the merchant insisted so strongly that I just nodded vaguely.
Quickly admitting fault before a fist could fly was a crucial survival skill.
Besides, I was still completely naked in my most vulnerable state, so I really didn't want to get pummeled by the merchant.
"By the way, I get that you guys don't wear clothes, but don't humans come and go sometimes, leaving behind armor or something they lost?"
Even if the entire lizard race was nudist, wouldn't it be smart to wear at least some armor?
But the great warrior himself didn't seem to care, shaking his head while flexing the muscles hidden beneath his thick scales.
"Human armor doesn't fit our size, and our skeletons are different anyway, so we can't wear it. Besides, our scales block most attacks, so I don't really feel the need."
"Good lord..."
I was forced to realize anew that humans wore clothes and used tools because we were even more pathetic than naked parrotfish.
Damn superior races.
Unaware or uncaring of my resentment, the great warrior flicked his long, thick blue tongue and scanned the surroundings as he led the way through the swamp.
"Customer."
Poke. Poke.
I turned to see the merchant prodding my lower back with his finger. He was holding something out of his backpack—a shiny suit of armor that looked like it belonged on the late 20th floors—gazing at me expectantly.
Well, I couldn't see his eyes through the mask, but I could feel the vibe of a merchant who had spotted a sucker ripe for the fleecing.
"Blessed Star Chestplate 10. With this, customer, you'll become a star-blessed warrior in no time."
"Price?"
"Special price: 39,990 GOLD."
I turned back around without a second thought and followed behind the great warrior.
Daring to recommend that trash deserved 500 noogies, but since my back might snap in half, I decided to fight his outrageousness with a boycott.
Plus, that thing doesn't even cover the bottom anyway.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Splash—splash—splash—
The 9th floor was lined with identical trees stretching out in a straight line—an environment perfect for getting lost, true to its name, the Osaieris Labyrinth.
But I had a map marking the path we'd taken, and since we'd run in a straight line without wandering while fleeing, it pinpointed exactly where my backpack was.
The problem was how far we'd run—it was quite a distance. Advancing cautiously while scouting dangers would take a few hours.
And the enemies that occasionally ambushed us were lethally dangerous to me right now, but we had a lizard great warrior as escort. He couldn't handle a sub-boss, but he could crush any regular foes.
As long as we didn't run into an alraune on the way to it, we should be fine.
With the tension eased, the few hours back to camp turned out to be boringly tedious.
"Great Warrior?"
"Hm. Call me Blue Tongue. It's a proud title for us, but probably not for humans."
Blue Tongue turned his head at my call, fixing me with those cold eyes.
Just meeting that gaze made my body shiver, and I felt a chill run up my spine as I forced a grin.
Is this what a frog feels when it meets a snake? Or maybe a live chicken is closer.
"Alright, Blue Tongue. Mind if I ask something?"
"...Hm. If it's something I can answer. We're not out hunting, so no need for total silence."
Blue Tongue nodded readily, flicked out his blue tongue once more, then tucked it away and resumed his slow stride.
"Ever heard the name Kali?"
From what the orc warlord had told me, it was a while back, but someone like Kali, who seemed to have entered and exited the Osaieris Labyrinth multiple times, probably wouldn't have skipped the lizard village.
Plus, this place was on the surface, not some underground ant nest, so the normal entrance was likely on the lowest floor, the 10th.
The lizard village was closer to the entrance than the orc one, so even if Kali hadn't entered, he might have at least shown his face. That's what I figured.
And Blue Tongue, the lizard great warrior, seemed pretty old from his stories.
At my question, Blue Tongue halted mid-step, blinked as if dredging up memories, then turned his head with an "Ah!"
"Kali. The warrior who came with that human mage who made the guardian."
"Oh?"
I hadn't expected it to connect like this.
And traveling with a mage who could create sub-boss-level magic creatures? Was he really a hero like I'd thought?
Blue Tongue continued.
"Not just those two—they had a lot of companions. At first, thirteen strong humans came, helped with village chores in exchange for letting them rest here."
Thirteen. More than I'd imagined.
"Of course, their numbers dwindled with each visit, but the human warrior named Kali was there until the end."
"That's the Thirteen Heroes story, customer."
The shady merchant cut in.
"When the divine presences descending to the surface began vanishing, each nation gathered their so-called strongest warriors into a hero party. But they all died or disappeared in less than two years. That's all I can tell you without payment."
"Hm. I wasn't that close with them, so I didn't know the details, but yeah."
Blue Tongue scratched his chin like it was no big deal, while the shady merchant boasted proudly about not taking GOLD for it.
Oh man—loyal merchant, salutes.
So Kali really was one of the so-called heroes. Deploying two of them in the sewers was downright vicious.
Of course, with the Bell of the End fully controlling their bodies, they weren't at their peak, but still, they were among my top forces.
I started imagining what it would be like to revive Kali's spirit.
He'd regain his full prowess, give me a battle-hardened frontline, and I could learn swordsmanship like from the orc warlord.
And diving face-first into those huge breasts to see her reaction...
Throb—
"Customer, I can understand your tastes."
"Humans are in heat year-round, huh? Real deal. But weird shape. Why only one?"
"Where are you looking! Quit staring!"
The shady merchant and Blue Tongue's four eyes locked onto my upright lower half, engrossed in their lewd scrutiny.
Getting erect was a cute mistake, but this was visual assault!
"And what tastes? I'm just a normal, healthy guy!"
"Yeah, looks healthy."
"Pulsing with the heartbeat. Fascinating."
They showed no sign of looking away—Blue Tongue even stopped to turn and peer down, while the shady merchant squatted on his knees. I frantically struck a pose like a heroine about to hurl a shampoo bottle at a protagonist barging into the bathroom from a Japanese manga, covering myself.
"No! What are you looking at! Why! Stop looking!"
"First time seeing a human male's thing up close. My apologies. It was intriguing. Bigger than I thought."
Blue Tongue flicking his tongue as he spoke was terrifying.
"You're male too! Why are you curious about dicks!"
This fucking gay. Humiliation made my fists tremble.
But her next words left my jaw hanging.
"Hm? I'm female. Ah, humans might not tell the difference. My consideration was lacking. Sorry."
"..."
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Having learned that horrific truth I hadn't wanted to know, I silently led Blue Tongue to the tree room where I'd slept.
For some reason, I felt an intense gaze on my back, but I ignored it. Only the shady merchant was behind me anyway.
As we advanced, the path wrecked by the crazy alraune was littered with sharp wood shards floating around, so Blue Tongue carried me across—that much contact was unavoidable to avoid injury, with no other emotions involved.
"Should be around here soon..."
Looking around, there was my backpack floating in the corner, along with traces of charred wood.
"Peddler, huh? Humans carry more than I thought."
Clearing the debris where the tree room had been revealed Severa, still bound with shell straps, and Kali nude on her knees clutching something in her hand.
Fortunately, buried under debris, they hadn't been found by others.
Checking Fuel levels: Kali was at 0, but Severa was fully charged.
'She slept without unsummoning.'
Scratching my head, I recovered them, fished out the goblin backpack floating on the water and the deeply sunk one, and finally wiped the sweat from my brow.
"Potions... a few bottles broke."
Sadly, some impacts were too much—the backpack was soaked from shattered glass vials.
Luckily, no fire potions that could incinerate items or precious ones that permanently boosted stats, but it still hurt.
At least I recovered them—good enough.
"Got the medium, human?"
"Ah, hold on. Let me check."
At Blue Tongue's urging, I rummaged through the backpack, pulling out a powerade-colored potion from the bottom and the golden statue from the goblin backpack. Blue Tongue flicked his tongue and nodded.
"The lost elixir and that mage's statue. Looks like we can resummon the guardian for real."
"Yeehaw!"
I wanted to flip in excitement, but first, armor. I didn't want to get ambushed naked by another alraune and run bare-assed again.
Clank—clank—connecting joints, tying straps, clanging plates—with each sound, my body felt more secure.
I'd handed most of the goblin loot to the orcs, but even with the jungle boss near, tier-1 defensive gear warranted an upgrade.
Now fully in tier-3 plate armor, I was like Albert the sewer knight.
Nothing can stop me now! I'm a human tank!
Wait for me, you green plant bitch... I'll eat you raw...!
"Kuhahaha!"
I let out an evil laugh.