Chapter 4
Chapter 4
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 4
Chapter Title: 1st Floor. First Night in the Underground Sewers
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The slime blob had turned into an onahole.
It was an utterly ridiculous sentence, but the fact that it stated nothing but the pure, unadulterated truth was what made it humorous.
"Does this thing even fail sometimes?"
Among the logs that had popped up while using Onahole Creation, there had been a line saying the Blue Slime Blob had repelled the Onahole Creation.
Looking at the context, it seemed like a spell where higher health on the target lowered the success rate.
In other words, to boost the success chance, you had to whittle down the target's health as much as possible.
"...Can't really use this to skip boss fights, huh."
He barely hadn't gotten repelled even by a measly Blue Slime Blob. There was no way he'd have the guts to cling onto a full-health boss and try casting it.
"Kinda feels like a fortune monster."
Squelch~
Holding it up with both hands, it had a pretty intriguing texture.
The slime blob from moments ago had felt like it would ooze between his fingers if he picked it up, but now it was more like a firm, overly squishy, jiggly bouncy ball that held its shape.
"You little... Did you do some ab workouts just so you could get toyed with mercilessly without mercy? Hooah!"
The chewy squishiness was great, onahole aspect aside.
"Still, it's bigger than I expected..."
Even shrunken by nearly half, it was still way bigger than your average small dog.
⚔ ITEM ⚔ 『Slime Onahole』 Fuel: 0/10 【Summons Blue Slime Blob upon use】 【A sticky onahole that emits a clear, transparent glow when light shines on it. A modest pleasure in the death-filled demon palace.】 "This must be one of the new items they added..."
Most nouns in D.D. were translated into Korean, but this item's name stayed in English probably because it was added by the Dungeon Gallery Pack and they didn't unify it.
The meaning came through fine, so no big issue, but it was still disorienting to have an onahole as an actual item.
And more eye-catching than that was the text: "Summons Blue Slime Blob upon use."
"No way... Is this a summoning wand?! Wait, nah."
Summoning wands fell under the magic wand tag, so they were weapons equipped in the hand.
Plus, there was no skill to craft summoning wands, so this must be a new tag item created by the Dungeon Gallery Pack.
Whatever the case, in the Slime Onahole's text, he saw a spark of possibility flash in his mind.
The great potential of the onahole!
If he could mass-produce summoning wands, then a build optimized around his initial 12 Charm stat would be viable right from the early game!
"The Emperor of Items is seriously OP as hell."
Getting such a ridiculously broken spell was no mistake.
As he thought about asking that user to reduce the block duration from 30 days when he got back, he decided to test the Slime Onahole right away.
"Come on out! Blue Slime Blob!"
Blub blub!
The onahole jiggled like the world's coolest, cutest slime minion—perfectly obedient to his command and ready to pop out any second.
"...Not coming out?"
Jiggle jiggle.
Fortunately, no onlookers around.
"Did I make a dud? Why is my luck so trash?"
Snap!
Irritated for no reason, he snapped his wrist and smacked the palm down on it. The soft surface rippled with a satisfying smack.
It was an addictively good texture.
"Damn it... What I wanted was a super cute slime pet summoning onahole, not some spanking genius pervert slime...!"
That was the moment tears blurred his vision.
"Screw it, whatever."
Best not to overthink the inevitable.
But he couldn't help lingering on it, so he vented by mercilessly kneading the Slime Onahole as he scouted for a rest spot.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Thud.
"Ugh... I'm dying. Finding even one room is a pain in the ass!"
The 1st floor wasn't that big. In the game, you could explore the whole thing in about 300 turns.
But now that it was reality, circling the entire floor wasn't easy.
The ankle-deep water everywhere made walking a hassle, and the occasional enemies plus the real-world scaled-up sewers made it brutal for a mere gamer to explore.
"Status... brief."
⚔ STATUS ⚔ ❤️ Health: 38/44 ■■■■■■■■■□ ✨ Magic: 4/26 ■■□□□□□□□□ 🍽️ Hunger: 21/100 ■■□□□□□□□□ 💧 Thirst: 43/100 ■■■■□□□□□□ 🌡️ Temperature: ◀■■■□□□□□□□▷ A room with a rickety door that still worked, plus some junk that suggested it had been used as storage.
Unlike the corridors, the high ceiling kept the ankle-deep water out—a fantastic spot. Even after chugging water once more to find it, his thirst was in bad shape.
His stomach felt like it was glued to his back, and his bare upper body shivered, on the verge of catching a cold.
His condition wasn't great.
If he didn't light a fire and eat soon, he'd rack up debuffs and die with high probability.
"At least I've got plenty of food. Gotta start a campfire first."
In the dungeon, a campfire was essential for sleeping. Without it, enemies could ambush while he slept.
Plus, cooking needed one too, so first order of business for a base camp: fire.
And until now, he hadn't realized.
That from here on, he'd have to start fires without a lighter.
Whoosh—crackle crackle—
Crimson flames rose from dry firewood, lighting up the dark room.
And the one who made it was trembling like he had Parkinson's, dropping the flint onto the floor.
"Urghhh... Damn it..."
Three hours of trial and error.
A miracle for a gamer whose entire camping experience was YouTube videos from his room.
⚔ STATUS ⚔ ❤️ Health: 38/44 ■■■■■■■■■□ ✨ Magic: 10/26 ■■■■□□□□□□ 🍽️ Hunger: 8/100 ■□□□□□□□□□ 💧 Thirst: 13/100 ■□□□□□□□□□ 🌡️ Temperature: ◁■■■■■■■■□□▶ "You damn rotten user... At least throw in a lighter...!"
In D.D., just using firewood made a campfire, but now that he had to descend the dungeon for real, he needed to start fires manually.
And the difficulty was way higher than just cracking enemy skulls.
Hunger and thirst were getting dangerous from the effort.
The thought of repeating this circus every time he needed fire was despairing, but to survive, he had to eat.
He rummaged in his bag and pulled out water and some tasty meat.
⚔ ITEM ⚔ 『Delicious Meat』 【Restores 40 Hunger upon use】 【Tasty meat. You don't need to worry about what kind it is while descending the demon palace.】 "Having to eat this... Can't be helped if I wanna save emergency rations..."
Delicious Meat.
The name sounded like high-quality beef or pork itemized safely, but D.D. didn't work on that logic.
'This is Giant Rat meat.'
Not just Giant Rats—most animal-type enemies dropped Delicious Meat. Even poisonous ones, and humans like Criminals, without fail.
So in D.D., foraging food was a strategic element requiring utmost caution.
Eat poisoned meat, get poisoned. Eat human flesh, rack up karma that alters certain events.
'But since it's the 1st floor, no diseases or poison from rat meat. Lucky.'
The Delicious Meat sizzled on the campfire, popping as moisture burst from the wood.
'Feels gross, but...'
Still, the roasted rat meat was tasty.
Filling up hunger and thirst right there brought on all the fatigue from trudging through the sewers all day.
But wasting time in this dungeon was a no-go.
Before bed, he'd research this squishy water droplet rice cake thing.
Absolutely not because he wanted to use the Slime Onahole in some sleazy way—no, it was a noble sacrifice, biting his tongue through the gut-wrenching shame.
"It's an onahole, but... no hole to put it in?"
Turning the Slime Onahole this way and that, no obvious insertion point.
"Fold it or something?"
But trying to fold it in half just made it spring back to its blobby shape every time.
So not like that. He pondered.
It was the kind of tough problem that would take three days and nights of deep debate with veteran Dungeon Gallery lurkers to solve.
"Gotta figure out what the Fuel value means too..."
Probably why it wouldn't summon: Fuel at 0.
D.D. and roguelikes had hidden text, but never outright lies.
Squish—
As he poked the surface, thinking how much easier the dungeon would be if he knew more about the Dungeon Gallery Pack...
Poke.
"Oh? That's why no hole?"
Poking it playfully, his finger suddenly pierced the smooth slime surface with a slight resistance—shlup.
The inside was filled with sticky liquid, pressing in on the intruder with snug pressure.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ [The Slime Onahole has accepted the finger.] "Fucking jackpot."
He'd figured out how to use the Slime Onahole.