Chapter 38
Chapter 38
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 38
Chapter Title: 6th Floor. Thanks for the Donations
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Creak—clunk.
As I opened the cart, I saw shelves packed with items completely different from what I'd seen on the 3rd floor. And just as expected, the price tags jumping out at me were way pricier than up there.
"Suspicious Merchant's personally scavenged Healing Potion—buy now for just 219 GOLD!"
Remembering that the Healing Potions on the 3rd floor had gone for around 140 GOLD, this was about 1.5 times more expensive.
The rest had all jumped up by a similar margin.
More than that, though—selling stuff you'd picked up off the ground? Made me want to report him for theft and embezzlement of lost property.
Nice easy money. Not real money, but still.
"Well now, customer. Looking for anything in particular? A merchant's stall always has just what you need."
'Like hell it does.'
Looking at this shady merchant proudly spouting that line—even though he'd refused to sell my key build item no matter what—I itched to flick his tiny forehead. The guy was short as hell, too.
"Hmm..."
I scanned the stall, but as expected, no 『Tactical Command Grimoire』.
Not that I was shocked. If he sold those too, it'd be less a lack of conscience and more a total failure of basic upbringing.
Nothing here was all that useful to me anyway, so my eyes naturally drifted to the potions and scrolls.
"Looks like your pockets are emptier than a beggar's, customer. Without these little ones, your journey's bound to be nothing but hardship and toil."
"It's already a goddamn ordeal."
"That's exactly because you don't have these babies."
The second I started giving off vibes like I might buy something, he pounced—way more aggressively than on the 3rd floor—recommending this and that, rattling off sales pitches like there was no tomorrow.
"Take this one, for instance. It's a scroll penned by none other than Ubric, the great archmage of old, infused with real magic. Fulfills your heart's deepest desire right now."
"That's Twisted Wish, you moron. Who knows what price you'd pay for that crap?"
『Twisted Wish Scroll』 The scroll the shady merchant held up was indeed the Twisted Wish Scroll.
It held a wish spell, so using it could net a ton of points, a hefty pile of GOLD, or even an artifact.
Sounds great on paper, right? But just like that "twisted" qualifier hanging over it, there was a catch.
A commensurate price.
Get points? Your max Hunger and Thirst drop.
Get GOLD? One stat locks up.
Get an artifact? It's randomly cursed, soulbound, and you have to carry the useless thing forever.
'I remember watching streams where this popped up. Tolerable if you're spamming "gay" in chat, I guess.'
Item with pros and cons.
If you don't care about Hunger/Thirst, or the locked stat's junk, or you luck into a usable cursed artifact—jackpot. But obviously, you're more likely to get screwed.
That's why it's treated like a streamer gimmick roulette.
Monkey's paw, in a nutshell.
"Besides, that's 3,500 GOLD. I ain't got that much."
"Special deal for you only—installments. You're a first-timer, after all."
I was floored by this scumbag's sheer gall, hawking garbage like that without batting an eye.
Shaking off his temptations—pushing overpriced crap to plunder my precious GOLD—I finally bought a Healing Potion, a Float Potion, and a Pierce Scroll.
Thought I'd stuck to essentials, but nearly 700 GOLD vanished into thin air.
'Puts me around 2,000 spent total.'
As I mentally tallied it up and let him drag my hand to take the GOLD, I paused the shady merchant for a sec.
"Hey, got a question."
"Information's precious to a merchant. But I figure we'll cross paths again, so one freebie this time."
"...Money-grubbing bitch."
"What was that, customer?"
I wanted to call him a money-crazed bastard to his face, but this pint-sized twerp was way stronger than a scrub like me.
"Nothing..."
"So, what'd you wanna ask?"
Now I had to think. Wasn't planning to ask anything major or game-changing anyway.
I barely knew the lore, so honestly, Severa giving me a basics rundown would teach me more.
"Uh... was gonna ask if you're not dying of heat under all that. How many layers you wearing?"
Face fully shrouded in a mask with weird patterns, hood up over a robe, and underneath? Thick clothes—no skin showing.
Living up to the "shady merchant" name with the secrecy, sure. But my first thought was, ain't you hot as balls?
In this sweltering jungle—sweat pouring just standing still—that getup looked suffocating. Had to ask.
Catch him off guard? He froze, still lightly gripping my fingertips.
After a beat, he snapped back, yanked my hand to his mouth, and sucked.
Smack—
Tiny lips working my flesh, that soul-ripping void sucking away essence, memories, experiences.
"O-oh shit?! You fucking bitch! Use your goddamn blinker before sucking!!!"
That addictive, ruinous pleasure—peeling away soul, memories, everything. Freaked me out he might drain more than I'd regain from living. Popped open my Status window—thank god, just the usual toll. His lips released my wrist.
"Mmm... you're one weird customer."
"Worrying if you look hot is weird, you double bitch!?"
Crack!
Pain like a hammer smashing my right leg—like on a broken bone!
Lifted like a kid grabbing my collarbone—foam bubbled from my mouth on reflex.
"Gaaahhh!!! Slime!!! Severa!!! Wanderer!!! This damn brat kicked my leg!!!"
"Other customers don't show the merchant friendly curiosity. Mostly hostility toward the unknown, greed for rare goods, and that pleasure when paying up."
"You... you fuckin'... ao... my leg."
The shady merchant was saying something, but the shock of my shattered leg drowned out pain, everything. Couldn't focus.
Just curled up clutching it, groaning.
"But you're different, customer. Not curious about my identity, yet you see the items' true value. Do you... know me?"
"Guh-aaaahh."
Maybe flipping my eyes back in double peace bliss would numb this agony.
"You're fun, customer. Different from the rest. Please don't die. I wanna see more of you."
"Ngh..."
"Thanks for worrying. As for your question—this robe's an artifact. No stuffiness, no heat. Consider this my thanks."
He set something down by me—then my vision cut out.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ When I came to, the shady merchant was gone. By my head—a potion bottle.
『Merchant's Favor』 【Recovers all status ailments on use】 "What the hell is this?"
The bottle held sparkling liquid. Merchant's Favor—an item I'd never seen in 3,000 hours of Dive Dungeon (D.D).
Patched into Dungeon Gallery Pack... or rather, something from the modder's world, cut from vanilla D.D.
'Cures all status ailments? That's busted...'
Save it for Soul Requiem or major injuries—super useful.
Problem was...
Status: Severe Fracture
My leg wasn't just cracked—it was reverse-jointed like furries cream over.
"The fuck?"
Meaning my shin was folded.
"Gaaaaaaaahhh!!!"
No choice—wasted this cheat potion on a mere fracture. Gulped it down, choking back tears.
They say teary fish bread's delish—teary potion? Solid 3.7418/5.
Not good, not bad. Just meh.
At least not like Healing Potions' "mash weeds in water" vibe. Better than that.
"Mmm... medicine ain't for the taste."
Wondering how nasty the other potions would be—no excitement there. But this one's top-tier, maybe.
'Mom said the exact same thing every time she made me tonic.'
My folded leg? Healed clean. If real-world, chiropractors bankrupt nationwide.
One more day rest might've done it naturally, but faster's better. Profit mindset.
Hard times call for positivity, right? Even Koichi Tohei says so.
Condition wasn't peak, but good enough for exploring.
Dusted off, stood, checked the map. Headed toward the room where that transfer box had been.
Pungent grass scent stabbed my nose again.
Trudging through ankle-high grass, crushing it underfoot—spotted something huge fallen ahead.
Obvious gear silhouette. My steps lightened.
Even after lighting up 30% of the 6th floor, no proper weapon or armor yet.
'Please be usable. Please be usable. Please be usable.'
Prayed in my head to Yahweh, Allah, Buddha, Brahma, Ahura Mazda, Zeus, Odin, Tezcatlipoca—in order. Approached.
I believe in the winner.
Couldn't tell if that heavenly arena was on anyway. Ignored it, inspected.
Unmarred shiny surface, intricately engraved lion head on the chest, smooth curves to deflect attacks.
That gleam—gulp.
"Holy shit! Who won?!"
『Unappraised Lion Knight Armor (Upper)』 【Activates Lion's Roar on use】 【Requires Strength 11 / Defense +8】 Reaction? Triple flip in midair.