Chapter 17
Chapter 17
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 17
Chapter Title: Floor 3: Blessed Onahole (Real) vs Massive Onahole (Fake)
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"See you later, customer."
The shady merchant called out in a languid voice as I stowed the Battle Command Grimoire in my backpack and turned to head out again.
The sense of emptiness after having everything sucked out was no joke.
Even knowing that paying a certain amount of GOLD to the shady merchant ramps up the difficulty in the late game, that addictive sensation had me hooked.
The pleasure of having the root pulled out made it all too clear why humans fall for demons.
I bolted down the passage like I was fleeing from the merchant.
"I've never seen descriptions like this before..."
My instincts screamed to slaughter enemies, gather GOLD, and offer it to that damned little succubus, but I slapped my own cheeks to suppress the urge.
I couldn't throw away my life for that ecstatic high.
"Ugh, I think the safe pattern-addition threshold was 7,500. But if I go through that again, can I even handle it?"
What the shady merchant offered was closer to spiritual ecstasy than mere physical pleasure.
In my eyes, those dream demons rattling around would achieve nirvana and vanish after just one go.
"Hoo. Gotta finish exploring quick and head to floor 4..."
I clenched my fists.
My suddenly heavy lower half forced me to stumble to a halt and rummage through my backpack.
Time to pull one out first.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ ⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ You have learned the structure of the current floor. You have grown. Completing the map of floor 3 revealed that Sad Ghosts appear starting from floor 6, and while it wasn't the desperately sought Healing Spring, I did find the Star Sanctuary.
It was a simple structure: a modest little angel statue and a pedestal that seemed meant for placing something on it.
But judging by its looks alone would be a mistake—the Star Sanctuary is an incredibly useful and convenient object.
Just place an item on the pedestal in front of the angel statue, and it grants the "Blessed" prefix to that item.
'It bumps the item tier up by one step—not game-changing on its own, but that one step can make a world of difference when you're desperately short on firepower. Gotta take it.'
The problem was that my current equipped gear wasn't all that great.
A Dirty Leather Armor that was just one tier above my ragged clothes, a Worn Dagger picked up early on, and a Silver Longsword that was tier 2 but which I didn't even know how to use properly—that was it.
'At least I've got the Ring of Might.'
Accessories don't have tiers, so they're keepers till the end.
And this one was even enhanced, but sacrificing everything else just to bless it still felt iffy.
"Wait, hold up. Would this work?"
An idea suddenly flashed through my mind amid the deliberations.
"Specter... cursed thing, so blessing it at the sanctuary might make it ascend or something."
Severa was too ambiguous, so pass.
I pulled the jiggling blue slime from my backpack—the one with its taut, rippling surface.
No matter how perfectly it preserved the target's body and ego, an onahole was still judged as an item in the end.
If it could be blessed, anything would do.
It sucked that it was an onahole that summoned slime blobs, but it seemed better than blessing other gear.
"Come forth! Holy onahole! Kuhahaha! A god blessing an onahole... aren't you ashamed, you divine hack?!"
I placed the Slime Onahole on the pedestal and thrust my arms skyward, cackling like some evil sorcerer performing a dark ritual.
And a brilliant light flashed—
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The god's blessing has dwelled in the item. ...or not. Instead, a plain log window popped up, and the Slime Onahole sparkled brighter.
⚔ STATUS ⚔ 『Blessed Slime Onahole』 💪 Fuel: 10/15 【Summons a Blessed Blue Slime Blob upon use】 【A sticky onahole that emits a clear, transparent glow when light shines through. A small pleasure in the death-filled demon palace.】
"Ooh. It's even more dazzling now."
I gazed into the circular hole, where twinkling stars clustered like a night sky, and pulled out a bottle of green, rippling liquid from my pocket.
A vial found on a skull that wasn't Jeff's during my floor 3 exploration.
It looked like the Healing Potion whose identity I'd already confirmed, but this item's name was Rainmaker.
"What, so stiff."
Pop—
I twisted it open, and the cap came off with a cheerful sound. Soon, the liquid inside bubbled, emitting green vapor that rose toward the ceiling.
As time passed, it spewed out massive clouds like tear gas, blending into the cavern's clouds above.
Rainmaker.
As the name implied, an item made to pray for rain—using it makes rain fall in the field.
But in the underground sewers where the sky was blocked, using it anywhere else just wasted the item with no effect.
Except for one spot.
And in this sewer—the intended use location—activating it in the one open cavern made all the difference.
Rumble—
Not long after the Rainmaker fully evaporated, the beautiful stars that had adorned the sky vanished behind black rainclouds.
Drip, drop, pour—
"Ha... Never liked getting wet before, but after hanging out in this shithole, it's kinda nice."
The thick raindrops began pouring down.
Since entering the sewers, I'd only wiped myself with water-dampened cloth—I wanted a proper shower, but this dungeon wouldn't let me.
'Here it comes.'
A massive shape plummeting from above.
Something with overwhelming mass dropped right on cue.
Booom—!!!
The impact on landing shook the entire sewer, slamming into me and forcing me back.
"Knew the entrance was flashy, as expected."
Splosh—
In the rain-drenched cavern under the uncovered moonlight.
What appeared before me was a Giant Slime Blob dozens of times larger than a regular slime.
"Alright. Let's get started."
This was a test run before facing the Sewer King waiting on floor 5.
⚔ STATUS ⚔ 『Giant Slime Blob』 ❤️ Level: 10☆ ❤️ Health: 203/203 【A mutant born from slime blobs cannibalizing each other over eons. Reacts strongly to a specific rain-inducing potion, so its use is banned nationwide.】
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ You have learned about the Giant Slime Blob. ◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ The Giant Slime Blob was tough.
It was still vulnerable to magic like regular slime blobs, but its magic defense had risen, and it retained physical resistance, making it tankier than the Sewer King in pure physical terms—a proper sub-boss.
"Come out, Severa."
With those words, black mist seeped from the darkness, red eyes glowing.
A staff adorned with a red gem, pale skin contrasted by a jet-black dress clinging to her body.
It had a spec where casting magic gave a chance for an extra weak spell.
If it weren't for the performance, I'd have her fight naked.
As if she'd overheard that thought, her red eyes flashed menacingly at me, but I didn't care.
What're you gonna do about it? I'm the master, you're the onahole.
Whoosh—
A slime whip lashed out impatiently, tearing through the air to claim my life.
Its speed made me doubt if it was even the same species as the Blue Slime Blob—
💥 CRITICAL HIT! 💥 -42 HP
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Giant Slime Blob was vulnerable to magic. The Giant Slime Blob took 42 damage. The Giant Slime Blob took 16 damage. A massive fireball brutally shredded the slime whip with a deafening explosion.
The follow-up smaller blasts signaled Asribe's Dress proccing its effect.
"That firepower's killer. Kinda dumb, but damn good specs?"
Seeing Severa deal nearly 60 damage in an instant, I had to admit the Onahole Creation skill's performance.
This idiot modder really tossed me into this hellhole and gave me broken magic!
'Won't thank you though, 112.311.'
As I fondled my chest in awe of Severa's output, the Giant Slime Blob burst through the smoke.
"Hands off. You're in the way."
"Let's play with these before bed tonight."
"Filthy wretch...!"
"You love it, but play hard to get."
Even hitting its weak spot, it was still a sub-boss—fully intact. Severa prepared her next spell, and I stopped groping, drawing my sword and shield.
Thankfully, I'd grabbed the Corroded Shield before summoning the Giant Slime Blob.
Lowest-tier shield, but better than nothing.
A bit awkward but decently equipped warrior now, I raised the shield to guard Severa against incoming attacks.
Most of its attacks were physical, but the low chance of magic meant I had to.
Searing flames singed flesh; unidentified liquid melted splashed skin.
I blocked slime whips aimed at me and batted away bullet-like slime shots.
Clang! Thwack!
"Urk...!"
Getting flung into walls or knocked over was routine; a few attacks veered toward Severa mid-cast, but luckily no magic among them.
In under a minute, I was battered, swallowing curses as I curled up, maximizing shield coverage.
'Severa can hold another 30 seconds or so.'
Fuel drains fast in combat for onaholes.
So I aimed for quick kills.
But the Giant Slime Blob wasn't easy—despite nearly depleting Severa's fireball charges, it still had plenty left.
'One more magic staff and it'd be easier.'
I could've spammed magic with her, overwhelming with DPS even if I took hits.
But no luck there.
Swallowing regret, I played my other card.
"Come on out, Holy-Dosed Onahole Unit 1!"
Boing—!
A blue slime wrapped in white holy aura bounced out on command.
First time using two onaholes in combat, excluding bedtime fun.
"Tremble in fear! You unblessed mongrel subspecies onahole!"
Squish!
Grrrroooaaarrr!!!
The Giant Slime Blob, overwhelmed by the holy onahole's majesty, let out a roar laced with terror.