Chapter 14
Chapter 14
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 14
Chapter Title: 3rd Floor. Dilemma
-----------------------------------------------------------------
While spending the whole day exploring this dark, damp, filthy sewer, a thought like this often crosses my mind.
What if I gathered up everything stackable and climbed up through the hole in the ceiling?
Of course, there was no way this dungeon had enough stuff to fully scale that hole which looked about 30 meters high, and the bastard who threw me in here probably wouldn't just sit back and watch.
'Is he even watching?'
If he was, I raised my middle finger and gave a generous serving in all 36 directions.
"Haha! You fucking loser! If you're watching from there, what the hell can you do about it besides eat shit?"
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Perverted User ㅇㅇ(112.311) is spectating in various poses. After feeding sign language shaped like a mountain to the perverted User ㅇㅇ(112.311) who was probably jerking off in all sorts of positions, my mood improved considerably.
It was a far better mood booster than staring in the mirror and mimicking this pose when you're feeling down.
"I should patent this exercise quick! It'll make everyone's mood better, freeing them from depression. Then I'll win the Nobel Peace Prize and run for president!"
And wipe User ㅇㅇ(112.311) from the face of the earth.
"Eradicating every last User ㅇㅇ(112.311) from this world—that's humanity's ultimate wish."
A perfect plan, flawless.
No one could find a single flaw in it.
Crack─
Suddenly, the sensation of stepping on something, followed by the sound of it breaking.
Following the sound downward, a long bone that looked like a human leg bone lay split in half under my foot.
Apparently, in my fit of bullshit antics, I hadn't noticed it.
"Not a criminal's corpse."
Criminal corpses get swarmed by rats somehow, who devour every scrap of flesh, guts, and even bone—no clean white bones like this left behind.
And despite being submerged in this filthy sewer water, aside from a bit of moss, this bone was surprisingly clean. Seeing it jogged a memory.
"Is this that thing?"
If so, there should be something nearby.
Splash- splash-
Sweeping around the bones with my feet for a few minutes, searching for what bubbled up.
Then, something caught on my boot—thunk—and rose bubbling to the surface.
Looks like my guess about the bones was spot on.
The object floating up was a palm-sized wooden alligator statue.
Carved with real effort, capturing the alligator's blunt, serrated teeth and rugged scales in fine detail.
『Handmade Alligator Statue』 【A heartfelt handmade alligator statue. Its owner sank to the bottom of this cold sewer. 'Vesha' is inscribed on the sole.】 "My hunch was right."
These bones sinking in the water were an object tied to the story—too vague to call a full NPC.
Talk to it, and you'd learn the skeleton's name. Newbies usually click it a few times, see nothing special, and move on.
Can't blame them: the text that pops up with "Jeff's Remains" is just "...", and the alligator statue is useless junk with no effect.
With inventory space tight, most toss it without even checking the name.
Then cry picking it up next run.
"Vesha this time, huh."
But this item's true value shines on floor 5, before the sewer boss.
The sewer area's boss? A fucking massive alligator.
Yeah. Big Fucking Alligator in English. Official name: Sewer King.
Size? If you're 1x1, this thing's a insane 10x4.
Motived by the urban legend of sewer gators, it's the pet alligator one villager raised long ago that accidentally fell into the sewers, survived, and now rules as king.
"Jeff raised that massive fucking gator..."
Jeff's name isn't super crucial, but Vesha is.
The name on the statue's base plays a big role bypassing the Sewer King.
"Call out to the alligator while tossing the statue—distract it and sneak to the next floor."
A cheese strat using the bait system?
Nah, it's intended, so not really cheese.
More like a legit strategy or route.
Fuel skimmers rushing early game use it often.
'What about me?'
Honestly, unless you're swimming in drops, beating the Sewer King on specs alone is tough.
They do provide skip routes like this as balance, but others need lots of prep and hassle.
One issue here, though.
Inspecting the Sewer King's corpse with this statue gets you a skill.
And skip routes mean no corpse access.
'I want that one.'
It's a skill only from straight-up beating the Sewer King—and it synergizes perfectly with my build right now.
'Can I pull it off?'
I've got my onaholes. Onahole Creation's solid performance, ignoring names and usage.
Severa, newly subjugated, out-DPSes any early player as a nuker.
'One more onahole up front, and I could definitely do it.'
Plenty of time to mull it over.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Maybe floor 3 ramps up for real—traps popping up constantly, tougher enemies, so after nearly 15 hours scouting, the map's still half empty.
Objects found since Jeff's remains? Zero.
This is some bullshit luck. Story object's guaranteed—why not guarantee the rest?
Healing spring, luck well, star shrine, magic jar, even the shady merchant definitely here? Not one spotted!
"Kieeeek!!! At this rate, I'll die of thirst! You fucking User ㅇㅇ(112.311) bastard!!! Gimme the objects!!!"
All day, all I see is threats to my life: traps and enemies dogging my ass.
This goddamn dungeon has no one on my side, clearly.
"Sorry, but die!"
"You fucking prick! I'm already pissed, wanna make it worse?!"
Toward the criminal yelling like a WW2 samurai charging with a banzai scream before attacking, I thrust my sword.
Clang─!
Sharp metallic ring, sparks flying lightly.
Too bad—the criminal's axe swing at my back whiffed.
"H-How?!"
"You scream like that, you think I'd just take it, you retard?"
Attack blocked, the criminal sweats buckets in panic, straining to push my sword away with his axe.
I brace back, muscles locked, holding firm.
Thus began the deadlock—both our arms trembling violently.
'Just kill this fucker already.'
Honestly, trash mob criminals dying or not? Zero fucks from me.
No karma buildup from killing them.
Even as data blobs of 0s and 1s in human shape, the aversion hits.
"You bastard... what the hell?!"
So I talked first.
Maria and Severa didn't just spit text—they clearly understood me and replied.
The bushy-bearded criminal, built sturdy like a manual laborer, gulped nervously with innocent, quivering eyes.
Anxiety, panic, excitement.
Too human reactions—I clenched my teeth hard.
"H-Huh...! I-I had no choice to live! Kill or be killed...! I-It’s all a misunderstanding! If I get out alive, I-I can clear it up. I have to, I have to!!!"
"Urk..."
His sudden bellowing roar deafens my ears.
But one thing clear: he's hyped out of his mind.
My grimace tips the shaky balance—the axe presses my sword down, pushing forward.
"Ngh...!"
💥 COMBAT ALERT! 💥 -12 HP
Finally, the axe slams into my shoulder, blood spraying.
"Gaaahhh!!!"
"H-Huhk...! S-Sorry... No, die!!!"
Sure enough, base Strength 10 with no points can't outmuscle this beefy-looking criminal in a strength contest.
Damage done is done.
Crushing the aversion under surging rage from the shoulder pain, I counter from my crumbling stance with a pommel strike.
Thwack!
Lucky hit despite the wild swing—mushy muscle feel, and the criminal screams.
"Grkhh! Urk..."
"Haa... fuck."
What followed was a sloppy brawl, barely qualifying as combat.
Block for block, dodge for dodge, hit for hit.
To a third party, a pathetic slugfest—but we didn't care, swinging sword and axe wildly.
Drop weapon? Fist to the face.
Fall down? Grab legs, drag 'em with you.
And the last one standing...
"Haa... haa... fucking hell..."
At my feet, the criminal lay eyes rolled back, passed out.
Lucky he sucked at fighting—could've lost otherwise.
And what after? Don't wanna imagine.
"Hoo... fuck... fucking fuck..."
Leaving him, all I could do was pant ragged breaths and curse.
'Kill him? Should I?'
Blood trickled from his split cheek where I hit. Harsh wheezes rasped from his nose.
My hand gripping the silver longsword trembled.
'He's... human. Kill him, and I'm a murderer?'
No one would know I killed him anyway.
And he came at me first, right? Self-defense.
I swallowed hard, raising my sword toward the unconscious criminal.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ "Aigoo... you fucking moron prick..."
Dark cave.
Stale dust smell, crackling firewood, slime squirming on my lap.
And in the corner, the criminal bound tight with rope, fast asleep.