I Hate It — Time Is Relative
I hate it. Time is relative. It's not some complicated concept like the theory of relativity. This is psychological. It's the kind of story where a private's time flows differently from a veteran's final days. For people who are busy and doing unfamiliar tasks, time races by. When something unwanted is approaching, time flows without mercy. That's exactly how this week feels for me. Ruthless.
The moment I woke up, I braced my hand against the wall and waited a moment. This morning, too, I didn't feel any suicidal urges.
“Deep, did you sleep well? How's your body feeling?”
My smartwatch vibrated slightly.
“Heavy.”
My body felt heavy. I hadn't stopped my morning runs. This frail body didn't seem like it could handle any exercise other than running. In truth, even running pushed me to my limits day after day. But what bothered me more was the date. That merciless stretch of time looming over me.
“Ailee.”
“Yeah?”
“Today’s Friday, right?”
“Yep! It’s the day of that important appointment, isn’t it?”
It wasn’t particularly important. A sigh escaped me involuntarily.
Ever since the incident, Ran had sent me every scrap of information related to Aron Dyke’s piloting skills without missing a single detail. It felt a bit like encouragement, which at least eased some of the pressure. If only Ian hadn’t kicked the table in the cafeteria that day. No, even without that, something like this was bound to happen eventually. If anything, the argument with Aron had dragged on and made things even more exhausting, so this outcome was inevitable. Though could you even call that an argument? It was more like me getting one-sidedly crushed in conversation.
As I changed my clothes, the smartwatch rang again.
“Deep.”
“Yes?”
“Just asking in case… you weren’t forced into this, were you?”
My hands, which had been changing clothes, paused for a moment before moving again. Forced into this, huh.
“Maybe I was.”
I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I was in this world. I’d survived by rummaging through the filth of the junkyard. I passed the entrance qualification exam that had opened by chance and finally started living like a person. I took more unwanted tests, experienced unwanted encounters, suffered unwanted provocations, and was exposed to unwanted stares every single day. Where exactly had it all started being forced on me? Who was I supposed to trust? Did people you could actually trust even exist?
“Then that’s not okay!”
My body froze again.
“If you don’t like something, you have to say it clearly! Only you know how you feel! What’s normal for other people might not be normal for you, Deep!”
“That’s easy to say, but it’s hard for me.”
I see. There was no real reason to trust people. For someone with my disposition, that would have to be a long-term goal. Right now, I needed something much simpler to believe in.
“Then I’ll do it for you!” Ailee shouted. “If you start hating it, tell me! Or let’s set up some kind of signal! I’ll say it for you!”
“Other people might find that unpleasant.”
“But they’re the ones making you uncomfortable!”
A gyaru mechanic really is kind to otaku. Ailee was on my side.
“Then… I’ll try to muster up some courage.”
Just saying that brought a strange sense of relief. For the first time since coming here, I smiled a little.
Monday afternoon lectures, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday full schedules. Since most of them were theory-related, even the most academically passionate cadets would inevitably get tired. Most of those cadets were only looking forward to the Friday morning class.
“You all probably know me by now. This is Zeke. Whether your faces look relaxed because it’s Friday or because of the class itself, I’m not sure.”
Simulation duels.
Actual Titan movement duels were difficult to arrange when you factored in repair costs and securing a location. Especially since reserving a spot and actually carrying it out took quite a bit of time. The class designed to solve that problem was simulation duels. Thanks to that, most of the cadets were in a bright mood. After all, there wasn’t a single pilot who disliked controlling a Titan. Preferring real combat over theory was only natural for pilots.
Professor Zeke quietly scanned the cadets, then nodded and spoke.
“Most of you have probably already used the simulation devices. They were part of the entrance qualification exam. Most of you likely remember that I was standing right beside them.”
Quite a few cadets nodded. The princess kept her head perfectly still. For her, who had been deployed to the battlefield at age sixteen, it would have been an unnecessary procedure.
“It may look like a simple spherical machine, but it is the culmination of cutting-edge technology. Only the Empire possesses simulation devices this perfect.”
There was no pride in Professor Zeke’s voice. If anything, he sounded like he was just going through the motions because he had to.
“If you input the custom machine profile saved on your smartwatch, you’ll be able to pilot that specific unit. This would also be a good opportunity to test out the machines you designed in Titan Modification Theory. If there are no questions—”
“I have a question!”
One of the cadets shot his hand up. It was a male student with striking bright red hair. The other cadets glanced at him and glared.
“If you delay us, the other cadets might try to kill you. Go ahead and ask.”
“Right now, from your perspective, Professor, I’m curious who stood out the most during the entrance qualification exam!”
The atmosphere among the cadets shifted. Every eye turned toward Professor Zeke. This was just as interesting as finding out who got top marks. The cadet who had caught Zeke’s eye.
Zeke lowered his head for a moment in thought, then answered in a quiet voice.
“A commoner.”
“You mean Cadet Deep!”
“He was from a previous class.”
“Then I want to know who stood out in our class!”
“Then it’s Cadet Deep.”
Whoa.
Countless voices rose at once as gazes slammed into me. I belatedly turned my head toward the window to avoid them. But one particular stare refused to leave me. Its owner raised his hand high.
“I have a question!”
Aron Dyke.
“Go ahead.”
“Can we choose our duel opponent?”
“You want to face Deep.”
“Yes.”
Most of the cadets didn’t seem surprised and simply stayed silent. Very few hadn’t heard about what happened in the school cafeteria. A few looked at me with pitying eyes. They clearly thought I had no chance of winning.
Professor Zeke nodded.
“Do as you like. It’s none of my business. I’ll just tweak the list for a moment.”
“Understood.”
As Professor Zeke began correcting the documents, I lowered my head to let out a sigh—when suddenly my shoulder jerked forward. A hand that had come from behind passed through the empty air where my shoulder had been.
“Huh?”
The presence behind me seemed momentarily flustered before letting out an awkward laugh. It was the red-haired cadet who had asked the question earlier.
“I heard a rumor that Aron Dyke’s left side is his weak point. Aim there.”
“Excuse me?”
The red-haired cadet grinned.
“I’m Revan! I’m like you—I didn’t have a personal machine originally, so I received one from the academy’s supply. That’s why I feel a bit of kinship. Personally, I’m rooting for you.”
“Ah, uh, okay.”
I really didn’t care.
“So I really hope you win. Show everyone that people like us can do it too!”
When I made a strange face, Revan clenched his fist and shook it as if cheering me on. Soon his name was called, and Revan waved at me before leaving.
Everyone boarded the simulation devices as their names were called. The princess beside me stared blankly into space, seemingly uninterested in anything. Come to think of it—
“P-Princess.”
“Hm?”
The princess turned her head with a slightly surprised expression. She hadn’t expected me to speak to her first. Why did everyone react like that whenever I talked to them?
“D-Doesn’t it bother you at all that I’m fighting with Lord Aron?”
Not even a little? When I looked slightly surprised, the princess shrugged as if it were obvious.
“He’s a man who can neither surprise me nor defeat me.”
“But your engagement—”
“Marriages without love are commonplace in the Empire. My marriage is a small price to pay for the Empire.”
Ah, I see. On the other side, you were extremely conscious of the princess sitting next to me. Before I could relay the message, her name was called and she left.
The only ones left in the room were me and Aron. Professor Zeke called our names without hesitation.
“Cadet Deep. Cadet Aron. Take your positions in the simulation devices.”
“Y-Yes.”
“Understood.”
But one thing was now crystal clear. No matter what I did to Aron here, the princess wouldn’t care in the slightest.
“Cadet Aron, can you board the simulation device alone?”
“I can.”
“Board first. I’ll help Cadet Deep.”
Aron nodded and climbed into the device. Professor Zeke approached me, firmly pushed me into the simulation pod, and spoke in a low voice.
“Don’t use the high-mobility type. Your body can’t handle it yet. I heard you created profiles for six machines. Take one out for now.”
Was he trying to help? But it wasn’t necessary. Before coming here, I had already created a new Titan profile specifically for use in the simulation.
“I-I already decided.”
When I took out my smartwatch and turned on the hologram, Professor Zeke frowned shortly after.
“This is a loophole.”
“Y-Yes.”
“You’re thoroughly exploiting the fact that this is a simulation. It’s a garbage strategy designed solely to win this one time.”
Thud!
Professor Zeke slammed the simulation device’s hatch shut.
“However, I will respect it.”
The screen turned on. The battlefield came into view. My opponent’s figure was not yet visible.
Beep.
A brief connection window to check each other’s readiness and signal the start of the duel.
“Hey, commoner!”
“I don’t like you.”
“What?”
I had no interest in hearing his answer. Because I hated it.
“I hate the attention. I hate your eyes. I hate the provocations. And I hate the pity you show when you look at someone who stutters like me.”
“No, that was genuine concern—”
“So with everything I have, with all the courage I can muster, I’m going to show you just how much I hate you.”
I pushed both control sticks and the pedals forward at the same time.
“Deep.”
The recoil yanked my body backward.
“Dive.”