Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Food
The moment I opened my eyes, I felt only one thing.
Suicidal impulse.
“Ugh.”
I want to die. I really want to die. This useless life needed to end as soon as possible.
What was it again?
Gregor Samsa, one morning, when he woke from troubled dreams, something like that. That’s how it started, or something along those lines.
Crunch.
The moment I gritted my teeth, I punched my own cheek with my fist. My collapsing body collapsed again. My mind went blank, unable to think of anything.
What is this?
My pupils trembled. I crawled forward on my dry hands and feet, then stopped halfway. I almost laughed at how absurd it was, but nothing came out. Then I felt something in my hand.
A card.
I had seen it many times before. An ID card that always sat in the corner of my inventory in the previous game.
It was scratched and folded so badly that even the face photo was unrecognizable, but the name was still readable.
Deep.
A hollow laugh escaped me as I lifted my head.
Through piles of massive junk, scattered debris, and partition walls dividing the space, I saw something.
Its official name was Titan.
A giant robot, 17 meters tall.
What I realized on the first day was that this was not a dream. Honestly, being operated on while dreaming something pleasant might have been better.
What I realized after just three days was that there was no water here.
Not even for washing. There was simply no drinking water. And of course, no food either.
Every morning, I found myself staring at cockroaches crawling past my eyes, wondering if I should eat them. I heard they taste like shrimp, but still, no.
And every time I woke up, I realized the constraints placed on this body were creating terrifying synergy.
Otaku.
My thinking becomes negative.
Low self-esteem.
I cannot think positively about myself.
Commoner.
My origin is lowly.
All three constraints crushed me together. Every second, every moment, they kept telling me I was useless and trying to kill me.
It was like someone in my head was sending me a 5,700-character suicide recommendation every single second.
If I could control it, I could learn to live with it. But if I could control it, it would not be a constraint.
In just three days, I had experienced suicidal thoughts more than twenty times. This morning, I even slammed my head into the ground five times just to stay sane. I almost died trying not to die.
Of course, I might still die from dehydration or malnutrition before anything else.
The only reason I was still holding on was one thing.
WEEEEEEEEE—
A siren echoed. It rang out from everywhere at once, but my eyes focused on the closest one. My vision swayed.
“Today at 12 PM, there will be an entrance qualification exam for the academy.”
A special examination for the lower classes and commoners. A special admission test for the lower ranks.
The first event.
I had never experienced the others, but I was certain such events existed. Or rather, I hoped they did.
“The test will be held at the partition gate entrance.”
The partition gate entrance.
I knew where that was. Near where the Titan had been walking on the first day. Getting there in this body, without food or water, would take a long time.
But my body wasn’t listening.
My hands and legs trembled violently and I collapsed again. Oily dirt soaked into my body. The smell of rust and oil rose naturally. My knees hurt.
Am I going to die?
I didn’t want to die. The suicidal impulses in my head kept whispering, but I was hitting my own face just to silence them because I wanted to live.
No, am I really going to die?
What happens if I die again here? Do I return to reality? Or will I wake up and someone will say, “Hey, this guy is laughing”?
Could I even pass the exam in this condition?
No, impossible. I was just a commoner. I had never even operated a Titan before.
My eyes slowly started to close. Of course, it also started to rain. The rain smelled slightly sour and fishy. Definitely not something good for the body.
My dry throat stopped caring about drinking rainwater, but as my body cooled, I actually felt a bit of strength returning. Still not enough to stand.
“Additional announcement. A meal will be provided to exam participants.”
Food.
My upper body shot up instantly.
Food power. A starving ghost will do anything for food. If I was going to die of hunger anyway, I might as well eat until I burst.
My limbs pushed my body off the ground. My feet touched the floor. To me, it was a great leap. To humanity, just a small step.
But my heart had never beaten harder.
Because I was thinking about food and water.
BESDA Academy.
The House of Mercy. Named after the biblical pool said to heal all illnesses and make people new again.
Just like its name, it was a place that refined people into perfect pilots.
The Empire was at war with the Union, and also fighting internal rebels. Heroes were being born in real time. The word “hero” meant nothing to class or economic background.
A place of opportunity. No, a school of opportunity. An institution that trained Titan pilots regardless of status or wealth. A dream-like organization.
At least, that was what I had been told.
“…So this really is a lowly commoner.”
Dreams are usually illusions. Even though they came from the academy, their attitude toward commoners was no different.
The man in a suit stared at me sharply. At least because I had come in the rain, I didn’t smell too bad. Just a faint sour, fishy rain smell.
“You don’t know piloting, right? Of course you don’t. A commoner wouldn’t know. Even most commoners don’t. Can you read?”
“I-I-I can. I can read.”
“Oh? That’s surprising.”
Damn it.
I stuttered three times from a single sentence. Otaku, low self-esteem, and commoner all together really did this to a person. I felt like I was going insane.
Still, I already knew I could read. Even on the first day, the ID card had been readable as if it was natural. It was strange.
Maybe some kind of past-life privilege.
While I was spacing out, the man in the suit pulled out a thick stack of documents and handed it to me. At a glance, it was at least thirty pages.
“This is the piloting manual. There are only ten minutes until the exam, but the basic controls are at the front. You should at least be able to walk.”
“T-thank you.”
The paper was heavy. Maybe because my body was weak, but also because it was genuinely thicker than a research paper. The text was tiny.
“The rule is simple. At 12 o’clock, candidates will enter the simulator in order. Each successful operation earns points. If you defeat an enemy… though that won’t happen.”
The man patted my shoulder, then withdrew his hand and walked away. Honestly, it felt like I would collapse just from being touched, so it was better this way.
But what about food?
It seemed food would be given after operating the simulator. My vision blurred from hunger and thirst. I couldn’t focus properly, but I held the manual.
Information flowed into my mind.
My head started to ache. It felt like information written on paper was being directly injected into my brain. I wasn’t reading it. I was outputting it as data.
Why?
The answer came immediately. Spatial awareness and speed reading were activating at the same time. I wasn’t reading words. I was perceiving and recognizing them as structures.
If my body had been normal, it might have just felt a little tiring. Now it felt like my head was splitting apart.
But strangely, it felt like I was born to read this.
WEEEEEEEEE—
“It is now 12 o’clock. Candidates, please step forward in order.”
There were many people around, yet no one raised a hand. Of course. Among commoners and low ranks, no one would already know how to operate a Titan.
Out of the thirty pages of manual, the first five pages alone said it normally takes a month of basic training to master the fundamentals.
“The simulation enemy is low-level AI. Even surviving by escaping properly will guarantee passing.”
Even after that announcement, no one moved. Only the sound of pages turning filled the air.
This was a chance to change life itself. No one wanted to lose it due to lack of knowledge.
But for someone, food mattered more than opportunity.
“I-I-I will.”
The moment I raised my hand, countless eyes turned toward me. My body trembled. It felt like being pierced by needles.
“What?”
“Isn’t he just a beggar?”
“Probably came here for food.”
“I heard people like that show up every year. Just fail quickly and eat.”
While my body shook uncontrollably, the man in the suit approached and held out his hand.
“ID card.”
I quickly handed it over. I had found it by chance, but the name matched what I used in the game.
“Deep. Just Deep, no family name.”
“Y-yes.”
“Take the exam. You can give up immediately after it starts.”
He stepped back, and a path opened toward the simulator.
My body climbed into it naturally. Ridiculous, but the cushion was so comfortable it felt like I could fall asleep.
The man spoke quietly.
“Start ignition.”
I pressed the switch with my left hand and activated the key with my right. The screen lit up instantly.
A floating sensation followed. The simulator was lifting itself through its system.
“Equipment.”
I grabbed the sticks with both hands and pushed my feet onto the pedals.
The moment I held the sticks, no, the moment I read the manual, I knew. This felt familiar. Not the shape or weight, but the layout of the buttons.
Two sticks.
Four input buttons on the right.
Four directional buttons on the left.
Three system buttons.
A bumper pressed by the index finger.
A trigger for the middle finger.
It looked different, but it was exactly like a game controller.
It felt like I was born to pilot this.
“Now the real simulation begins. All vibration and impact will be identical to the real machine. If you plan to quit,”
Deep.
Just like in the previous game, this system existed here too. A fixed launch line. That was why my name was Deep.
“Deep.”
I had fallen deep.
“Dive.”
“What?”
I wanted to fully control this massive robot.
A hologram surrounded everything. The enemy Titan raised its weapon immediately. I had nothing in my hands.
I pushed both sticks forward at the same time.
“Wait, think about your body,”
It moved.
It moved exactly as I commanded. The giant machine of steel stepped forward, shaking the ground. It moved. It was moving.
Bang.
A spark burst from my shoulder armor. A bullet had grazed it. Just operating successfully already gave points. Surviving might be enough.
But surviving was not enough.
I scanned the surroundings. I didn’t even need to see properly. My spatial awareness detected something embedded in the ground.
A massive sword.
“Hey, the simulator also simulates acceleration! Stop now!”
I ran at full speed. A speed beyond human imagination. The giant body shattered the ground as it ran. Bullets tore through the dust. Bullets were coming.
“Stop—”
The simulator spun once.
No, the Titan rolled across the ground and grabbed the sword.
“Ugh.”
Nausea surged from the sudden movement. I swallowed it. My mouth tasted like stomach acid. Worse than rain. Worse than anything.
Holding the sword upright, the Titan charged. The enemy fired while retreating. Bullets hit the blade and fell away with metallic sounds.
My body was crushed into the seat by gravity. Yet my hands still moved the controls.
The Titan’s legs could hover briefly.
With sudden acceleration, the massive body turned. The positions reversed instantly. The enemy was now exposed from behind.
The sword pierced straight through the enemy Titan’s chest.
Boom.
The screen went black. The simulation ended. The cockpit opened with a metallic click.
“Ugh, ugh—blegh!”
I leaned out and vomited. Yellow stomach fluid spilled onto the floor. Cold sweat dripped down my body as my hands trembled violently. The man in the suit grabbed my shoulders.
“Eyes! Open your eyes! Look at me properly,”
“Food.”
At least I didn’t stutter when it mattered.
“P-please give me food. Quickly.”
Because I felt like I would die from hunger.
I was given a high-calorie bar and clean water.
I ate too fast, collapsed from indigestion, and was carried away.