Chapter 51
Chapter 51
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Translator: crow
Chapter Title: Sacred Ritual
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"It's been a while since I had a day off."
Unlike the days when I dragged myself out of bed at dawn to head to the cafe, today was my day off, so I finally rolled out past 9 a.m. Taking one day off every week like this made me understand why office workers craved their free time so badly.
"There's a reason they were dying for public holidays."
I leisurely toasted some bread, enjoyed a brunch spread, and scrolled through the news on my smartphone.
Now that I knew I was sorely lacking in common sense compared to everyone else, I had to build it up somehow.
"Oh, come to think of it, today’s Friday."
The top headline was the U.S. President’s visit to Korea.
I tapped the article, and a photo popped up of a blond old man stepping off the plane, waving cheerfully.
But my eyes skipped right past the president to the security detail surrounding the plane.
"Found her."
There, among the bodyguards protecting both the U.S. President and the Korean President, was Yu-ra noona.
"She looks awesome."
Noona wasn’t in her usual casual clothes or Millennium Guild uniform. Instead, she was decked out in a black suit that practically shouted, "I'm a bodyguard!" She looked like a total power woman, and I couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride.
"Hmm, is this what it feels like to be the girlfriend of a capable guy?"
I kept hunting for more photos of noona in the follow-up articles on the presidential visit before moving on to the next thing on my agenda.
[Everything okay over there, Su-hyun?]
First, I messaged Su-hyun, the employee holding down the fort at the cafe in my absence as the owner.
Prying too much could come off as a lack of trust, so I kept it to a simple check-in. She replied right away.
[Yep! Boss! Business as usual!]
[I'm counting on you, Su-hyun.]
She was the oldest employee and the best at her job, so she'd handle it no problem.
Worrying about work on my day off was like fretting over homework during vacation and ruining the fun. I put the cafe out of my mind.
"Time for that thing I’ve been putting off, huh?"
Ever since opening the cafe, I'd picked up a new hobby.
No, ritual was the more accurate term.
"Whew, been a whole week."
It was the indispensable ritual for turning my relationships with Yu-ra noona and Seo-yeon into proper romance.
In other words...
"Time to jerk off."
...masturbation.
Anyone overhearing might scoff—what's so special about jerking off that you'd call it a ritual?
But to me, it wasn't just some quick wank.
"First, lift the hypnosis."
I released the hypnosis suppressing my libido and the one holding back erections at the same time.
The moment it wore off, my lower half pitched a tent that felt like it was going to rip right through.
"Whew, still way better than the first time."
At the start, I'd blow my load the instant the tip rubbed against my underwear while tenting up.
But after steadily jerking off over time—whether from getting used to it or my sensitivity dropping because the buildup wasn't as insane—no more premature disasters.
"Maybe a bit of both."
Either way, ever since that "Gae Jun-hyuk" incident with Seo-yeon, I'd realized that if I didn't vent periodically, the same thing could happen again.
Hypnosis and being buzzed had played a part, but at its root, it was unchecked lust calling the shots.
"That's why I block it at the source with masturbation!"
And that's why I called it a ritual.
I fired up the computer and was about to hit my usual site when, for once, I felt like trying somewhere new.
"Maybe some other site has even better stuff."
Even the best restaurant can't hold you forever—you crave variety sometimes.
While prowling communities for fresh porn sites, an intriguing post caught my eye.
"What the hell is this?"
The title: Porn Site Search Rankings by Country.
I clicked reflexively, and up came a meme world map listing the top three search terms per country.
"..."
Korea first: 3rd was lactation jerk-off, 2nd anime, 1st shota.
"No way, for real?"
Wasn't this swapped with Japan?
Glancing at Japan: 3rd anime, 2nd shota, 1st hentai.
"East Asia's all the same."
The other East Asian countries followed suit.
Wait, but what's the difference between anime and hentai?
Curious, but not curious enough to dig in.
'Shota sounds criminal, though?'
Just to check, I searched it. Turns out, shota from my past life and now meant the same word, different vibes.
[Shota: A term for men with a boyish look. Originally referred to young boys, but now it means adult men with youthful charm.]
Thanks, Namu Wiki!
This cyber library still thriving after a century cleared up my misunderstanding.
"But what about the West?"
If East Asia was shota-obsessed...
The West had unfamiliar terms mixed in.
"They've got anime and hentai in the top three too, but..."
What’s Old Fashioned?
Translated to "old-fashioned," right? Curious, I hit Namu Wiki—jackpot, there was an entry.
[Old Fashioned: A fetish for men embodying old-school humanity's masculinity. Tall, burly, muscular guys bigger than the woman. Rare in the East, but super common among Western women.]
Ah, got it.
Old Fashioned topped the charts in a lot of Western spots, which made sense thinking back to my past life.
'Easterners have always looked youthful.'
That's why Westerners often mistook adult Easterners for minors.
Plus, the East had that "the younger-looking, the better" vibe, so physical and cultural gaps evolved into taste differences—leading to today.
'The West always dug rugged masculinity and macho types. Guess that's carried over.'
But America?
Digging deeper, Old Fashioned was huge in Europe, but even among the West, the U.S. was different.
"...Whoa, these guys don't mess around."
Not just different—superpower status for a reason?
Like each state was its own country, rankings varied wildly.
And the terms? Shady as hell.
"Step brother? Step daddy?"
Stepbrother and stepdad topping searches?
What the fuck, incest central?
"No blood relation, so not technically incest, but still..."
FILF? Searched it: Father I'd Like to Fuck.
"So, sexy married dads you'd wanna bang..."
World's vast, tastes endless.
I take back ever thinking all the world's women shared one unified kink like lactation jerk-offs.
"Though America does have some Old Fashioned states at number one."
Other hits: Asian, ebony.
But against expectations, America had tons of weebs too.
"Cartoon, anime, hentai in the top ranks in so many states. What happened?"
Back then, Americans scorned weeb culture as nerd/geek/loser shit. Now it's dominating charts? What changed in 100 years?
Comments had the answer.
[America's got mad weebs too!]
[Weeb unity!]
[Anime/manga beats 3D—they deliver fantasies real life can't, way superior!]
└[Or maybe you just can't get a boyfriend?]
└[Fuck off with the spill damage!]
Fair. Manga's got that magic.
No matter how extreme or risky the kink, it lets you indulge pure fantasy—satisfaction no video can match.
"Manga's calling me for the first time in ages."
Hentai comics.
Called manga in Korea, and I'd devoured them in my past life.
Videos take forever to the good parts; manga zips right to the highlights. Perfect for no time or lazy days.
"Found one quick."
A light search turned up a site.
[Welcome to Pupil.]
Main page featured top manga. Seeing number one made my hands shake with rage.
[Osagaki Milking Cow Re-education: Wagyu Kyube's Degenerate Bull Humiliation Diary]
This is that fucking anime character Seo-yeon and I watched!
The one that looks just like me!
Number one?! I quietly clicked the cover of naked Wagyu Kyube doing a double peace sign in a public restroom.
[G-Stop! Fights and friendships all drowned in pleasure!]
[Kuhuhu! Yes! Forget it all! From now on, you're just a cum-pumping stud for women!]
[N-No!]
[Hey, should we install a glory hole in this public toilet?]
"Ew, gross..."
Total humiliation fest.
Felt like it was happening to me.
"Skipping this."
Art style's good, but that character? No thanks.
Would've been perfect for today's ritual otherwise.
"How many Wagyu Kyube ones in the top ranks?"
Kyube's Erotic Dungeon Traps!
Hypnosis Kyube – Fights are done with dicks on the bed, obviously? –
Kyube Defeated in the Dark Fight Tournament – New Life as an Erotic Milking Cow Underground –
Cows Never Give Up! But I'm a Loser in Bed!
"Dizzying."
Popular character meant porn everywhere.
Past or present, porn stays the same.
"Hmm? What's this?"
One top-10 outlier amid the Kyube field.
[Time Trap! Loner Me is Super Popular in Old Humanity's World?]
Cover art hooked me, so I clicked. Wild premise.
[Just spread your legs and guys line up to pound you! Holy shit! Is this heaven?!?!]
Past-life gender-reversal genre, aka chastity flip.
Once pure fantasy, now "old humanity" meant the real world 100 years back.
Not gender-swap anymore—time trap now.
"Hmm..."
This one's hot.
Today's side dish decided.
＊＊＊
In a Seoul hotel amid the U.S. President's visit.
Choi Yu-ra, fresh off her shift handing over to another guard, scanned the place.
'Where is she?'
After searching a bit, she spotted her target in the hotel restaurant.
Approaching, the woman tossing back her sexy hair met her eyes and grinned first.
"Oh, Miss Choi! Nice to meet you!"
"Nice to meet you too."
"Haha, we can actually talk! Glad my Korean hasn't rusted."
An American on security detail like Choi Yu-ra.
But unlike her, a Hero—not Hunter—and the top-ranked Hero in the U.S., a total powerhouse.
"Miss Valentina."
Alias: Speed Star.
She amplified her senses to move in a frozen world alone, took down countless S-Rank villains—hero incarnate.
But right now, Choi Yu-ra faced not the Hero, but plain old Miss Valentina the human.
"Hmm, your face says you've got something to ask me."
"Yes. Exactly. I had a question."
"Straight to business, huh? Wonder what has our EX Hunter so urgent."
Choi Yu-ra asked her seriously.
"How do I capture my man's heart like you did with your husband?"
Miss Valentina blinked blankly for a sec, then slid down her sunglasses with a sly grin.
"Looks like we're in for a long night."
Her other alias: Love Birds.
Famous nationwide for her picture-perfect marriage.
"Take a seat, Miss Choi."
For once, Choi Yu-ra sought advice from a certified expert(?).
"Can't have a chat like this without drinks, right?"