Mesugaki Date

I was still holding my phone, but unlike before, my hand had started shaking uncontrollably. Normally, even when I saw women bigger than my small frame, I wouldn't get intimidated—in fact, I'd be the one getting pissed off most of the time. But this was different. I could feel it instinctively. All the women I'd met until now weren't real bitches; the one standing in front of me was the genuine article. This woman was Alpha Female incarnate.

"Meki-nim?"

"Y-... yes?!"

My military experience kicked in, and I automatically acted like a subordinate. My hand wouldn't stop trembling. The stream would show every bit of it, but right now, that wasn't important. I'd been burned by women so many times that I saw them as enemies to fear, and the cow-pig mutt in front of me might as well have been a demon lord from some fantasy story.

"Meki-nim? Aren't we doing the content?"

"N-no.... Y-yes... we are."

"Why are you shaking so much? Cold? Hmm... no fever, though."

She placed her hand on my forehead to check my temperature. Compared to her massive build, her hand looked even softer and slimmer than mine. Worlds apart from those greasy Shimura auntie hands.

"I-... I've... n-never... been on a d-date before..."

"Never been on a date?"

"Yeah..."

"Hmm, you're so cute, how come no girls chased you?"

"Well..."

Yeah, the original owner of this body, Jaejun, must've had tons of girls after him. A poor, cute guy living alone? Of course they'd target him. I'd seen some of his memories when the body swap happened, so I knew why. He was so broke he worked solo part-time gigs for living expenses. No time to study properly, so bad grades meant no college. The one silver lining was the convenience store boss liking cute, hardworking Jaejun enough to throw in extra pay. Though she'd sneakily grope his shoulder or back.

"Earning living expenses... couldn't go to college..."

"Living expenses?"

"Th-there's a reason! Anyway... t-today we're dating for the viewers...!"

I needed to shift my gaze first.

"U-um, CowPigMutt-nim? Where to first?"

"Hmm~ Let's settle on how to address each other ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠first."

"Address?"

"Calling me CowPigMutt feels awkward, right? Meki's short and fine, but it's bothering me watching."

"I see."

Yeah, calling her CowPigMutt every time was a mouthful. Cow. Pig. Mutt. Five whole syllables. Needed a nickname...

"SaNu?"

"Just call me Jaeyeon."

"Jaeyeon-noona? Like that?"

"...Yeah."

I instinctively felt like calling her noona, so it slipped out automatically.

"Wha? These fuckers are going apeshit again? You all want martial law or what?"

"Meki-nim? Calm down a bit... we're outside."

"Y-yes... noona."

I wanted to spray the viewers with ban bullets right there, but with people glancing over, it was too conspicuous. More than that, Jaeyeon's gaze looking down ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠at me from above restricted my movements. It felt like if I didn't behave, she'd discipline me her way, and that pinned me in place.

"Jaeyeon-noona... what now?"

"Hmm... like movies?"

"Not really..."

"Tteokbokki then?"

"Don't like rice cakes in soup..."

"Hmm... uh... park stroll?"

"Ah..."

Did I come off as picky? Movies in this world had genders swapped, so they felt off-putting and weird. Tteokbokki was spicy-hot enough to set my mouth on fire after one bite—I just couldn't handle it. What the hell did this body's original owner even do for fun? Anyway, we had to do something...

"W-wanna hit the PC bang together?"

"Huh? PC bang?"

"D-don't like it...? Gaming's my only hobby..."

"Love it! Let's go!"

"What's wrong with PC bang?"

"Ahaha..."

A guy suggesting PC bang first... so what? Flip genders, and a girl suggesting cheap fun over pricey movies or clubs would be a win for guys. Hell, I'd love if a girlfriend suggested it—less hassle, more fun.

"Let's hurry."

"Yep!"

And just like that, our first date was headed to the PC bang?

People face countless conflicts in life and grow through communication. But what if you clash with people who just won't communicate? Take the study by Harvard student Maple Jordan as an example. What's it about? Obviously total bullshit.

"Fuck... sigh..."

"Sorry."

"No worries, ugh..."

We jumped straight into a 5v5 MOBA game at the PC bang. At first, I figured her tier meant she had skills, so we queued up casually. But every single nickname...

"You fuckers have a group chat!!"

So they made a separate Kakao group to snipe me... these fucking assholes... you're all getting banned when I get home.

"Haha... wanna school 'em?"

"Yeah, noona."

These idiots were losing it 'cause they hadn't tasted the whip lately. I'd never given carrots, but a good whipping would make 'em crawl.

"He~rop♥ Bi~ngsin! Getting your ass beat in lane a hobby, you perv?"

"Whoa..."

"That's why you'll be called a virgin forever~ right? Go log off, tell daddy sorry for being born, and beg him to doggy you~ pfbt!"

Fucking hilarious. With someone next to me or not, doing my thing my way was the best. Jaeyeon-noona, used to my mesugaki antics, kept a straight face while gaming but occasionally glanced my way.

"You always talk like that?"

"Why? Weird?"

"Not weird, just... something..."

Her face flushed red, and she clammed up, focusing on the game. Was my speech that odd? I worked hard on it to troll people...

In the end, we won LoL easy. Me and noona racking 6-7 kills each in lane? Losing would've been weirder.

"That was so fun~."

"Jealous? Git gud then~ one stinger and you're paralyzed~!"

"Mm... hungry. Dinner?"

"Sure."

At first, Jaeyeon-noona's tall frame and overwhelming vibe felt unfamiliar and scary, but gaming together eased it up a bit. Still, couldn't fully relax.

"Anything you wanna eat? Pasta? Steak?"

"Gamjatang!"

"Gamjatang...?"

Steak? Pasta? Fuck that. I wanted AC blasting while tearing into meat. Cool spine broth, red stew with rice mixed in... like hangover soup but with that gamjatang kick.

And sure enough, we headed for gamjatang with Jaeyeon-noona. She looked baffled at first but gave up seeing how bad I wanted it.

"This really okay?"

"Yeah... huff... huff... wanna eat now..."

"Looks done, try it."

"Th-thanks!"

Jaeyeon-noona scooped with a ladle and handed me meat. They say no bad people give you the meatiest gamjatang bits—is it true? I grabbed the bone, gently scraped with a spoon, gathered a bite, and savored.

Yes... this is it... yesterday's ramen wasn't food...

Tears welled up. I sucked every scrap off without mercy.

"Hm?"

"Uh..."

What's hot about it?