The Assaulted Adventurer's Guild and Succubus Mona (1)
"Ugh... seriously...."
Waking up in the morning, the hero Emilia lifted the blanket and checked the bedsheet, letting out a deep sigh. The sheet beneath was stained with blatant traces of last night's masturbation, leaving her feeling sticky and uncomfortable. And worst of all, the memories of that masturbation. The fantasies she'd wildly conjured up while pleasuring herself were still vividly etched in her mind... Recalling them now made her face flush with shame.
...God, what a mess.
The noble daughter of the proud Edenberts family, a hero no less, masturbating to the thought of being gang-raped by filthy adventurers whose origins were unknown... She could never face her late father's memory like this.
'Laundry's no big deal with a magic tool—it'll be done in a flash.'
'But these episodes... they hit every now and then, and it's just...'
Would she ever be able to date properly like this? Or even get married? Her mind swirled with worries, but she quickly shook them off. These fits were surely trauma left by that man—the one who had attacked the Edenberts mansion that day. A shackle he'd clamped around her heart. The man who killed her father and defiled her mother. He'd bound the heart of young, powerless Emilia.
So...
'If I just kill that man...'
'If I successfully get revenge on him...'
These occasional bodily fits, the black flames of hatred that scorched her chest every day—they would surely fade. Clenching her fist until her knuckles turned white, Emilia renewed her resolve and got out of bed. On her left hand shone the proof of her heroism: the Hero's Blessing, a pattern of sword, sun, and scales.
Terry, the guild master of the Adventurer's Guild and a once-famous mercenary adventurer, was seething inside with bubbling frustration. Last night had felt great. Waking up this morning had felt great too. As a heavy drinker, he'd finally gotten his hands on that fateful liquor he'd longed for so desperately. Sure, it'd cost a fortune from his perspective, but he'd secured it nonetheless. How could he not be in a good mood?
This morning, he'd stared at the precious bottle in storage, grinning like an idiot, time flying by unnoticed. He was on cloud nine.
But... alas. It seemed the gods despised Guild Master Terry. While he was admiring the bottle from every angle, Emilia had barged into his private liquor vault without warning. It was his personal space, connected to the guild master's room.
That damn woman! Without knocking!
"Hehe~ Nice find. It was hilarious, Terry."
"...Shut up! And like I always say, call me Guild Master! Adventurers don't just waltz into the guild master's private quarters! And..."
In the lounge reserved for Platinum-rank adventurers, as always, Terry placed a cool glass of fruit liquor floating with ice in front of Emilia, per her request.
"Put down that liquor... please. Just put it down...!"
Terry's trembling gaze fixed on the bottle in Emilia's hand. The fateful liquor he'd acquired last night was now clutched by this reckless, immature monkey of a woman. It was like a hostage. As long as it was in her grasp, even as her superior, Terry was powerless.
And Emilia, clearly enjoying herself, twirled and shook the bottle in her hand, toying with Terry's heartstrings up and down.
"Terry~ I'm disappointed~ To think you'd hide something from me... between us... That's just wrong. Right? Right right right? That's weird. We're buds, aren't we?"
"W-what do you mean 'buds'...?!"
"You owe me a debt, and I hold it over you."
"Y-you fucking bitch...! How long are you gonna milk that...?!"
"Fucking... oh? Oops, my grip's a bit weak today~ Feels like I might drop this bottle~."
"Aaaaaah! Sorry, I was wrong! No, wait! Mistake! My bad!"
The hierarchy here was crystal clear. Even if he tried to wrestle it away by force, it was obvious who'd win between a top active Platinum adventurer and a retired, injury-riddled, stiff-bodied Terry. Emilia was mean-spirited, but she wouldn't actually smash the bottle on the floor... probably. Still, she was unpredictable—yesterday's commotion proved that. God, please... scary... just let go of my booze...!
"...Terry."
"W-what?!"
"Look... seriously, I'm curious about the taste. Can I try some?"
――Nooooo!!
Forgetting his age and position, Terry charged at Emilia, tears and snot streaming down his face.
"Ahahahahaha!! Hahaha~~!! Ahahat, so fun~~~!!"
Emilia rolled around on the sofa, clutching her stomach and laughing hysterically. The bottle she'd held hostage moments ago was now safely tucked into the arms of Terry, who had curled up whimpering in the corner. The sight of a grown, burly man bawling his eyes out was pathetic beyond words, but combined with his frantic flailing, it was utterly hilarious.
She knew he was serious about his booze, but not this serious. It was refreshingly entertaining. Still, aware she'd gone too far, Emilia wiped her tears after laughing it out and apologized.
"Sorry, Terry. Joke went too far. Must be super rare stuff."
"......"
"Terrry~ Say something~."
"...Damn bitch... Fucking bitch... Sniff... Sob..."
"Aww~ Crying again~? I said sorry~!"
"You idiot...! Drop dead, moron...! What kinda hero are you... What noble lady...!"
Oof... too much? And beyond mean, seeing buff, muscled Terry—even retired—huddled pathetically in the corner was just sad. For Emilia, who hid her identity, close acquaintances were few, so a key one like Terry moping around was troublesome on multiple levels.
"Okay... Terry, sorry. Next time, I'll find some really expensive booze... and gift it to you. Yeah? That Yelt Mountain peak snow-melt brew—so rare and tasty, right? I'll get it for you. ――I'll get it for you, Guild Master."
She added a playful lilt at the end, pitching her voice up. Cheap trick, but it worked; Terry finally turned from staring away.
"...Forget that. Just erase the debt... stop bringing it up..."
"Hehe, no can do."
"Why..."
"Dunno~. Why, I wonder?"
The debt Emilia and Terry mentioned dated back to shortly after they met. Back then, Emilia wasn't yet Platinum but a promising rookie gaining fame. Terry, already guild master, had made a grave mistake with her, and she'd forgiven it—but kept it as leverage. A black history so mortifying he wanted to die recalling it, and the hook that left even this wild, reckless tomboy—unbefitting a noble—able to bully him.
If he could have one wish, it'd be to go back and beat his past self senseless, tie him to a pillar, and leave him immobile all day. For real. Dead serious.
'But if I let this go, no more fun teasing Terry.'
Sipping the fruit liquor Terry had poured, Emilia mused inwardly. That miraculous day she'd escaped the mansion as a child. Since then, she'd met and parted with countless people. Some suspected her hero status; others tried to capture her for unknown reasons. Having seen humanity's filthiest pits, making friends wasn't easy.
Terry, though? She knew his shallow nature and bottom-barrel worth. Trash from the start, but after establishing dominance once, he didn't pull stupid stunts. And despite being utter garbage, he'd proven loyal over time. Bonds were precious yet hard-won. Better than nothing—even a guy like him. Especially days like today...
"So, what's up this time?"
"Huh?"
"You fucking idiot damn bitch. You get all hyper like this only when something bad's brewing. I've known you for years!"
Emilia blinked her beautiful golden-lashed eyes at Terry's gruff, vented words, then let out a soft giggle. Unlike before, it wasn't mockery or glee—this was warm, affectionate laughter, laced with fondness and peace. The refined chuckle of a kind-hearted noble lady, not a rough adventurer. And Terry, who'd watched her all these years, knew that was her true self.
"Why're you laughing...?"
"Nothing, just... makes me happy. You're trash as a man—total worst—but as a friend? Not bad at all."
"...Damn bitch..."
It wasn't some huge gloom; just last night's fit and scattered thoughts had her down. But venting to him felt way better than brooding alone.
"Hmm~ For an old guild, this place is fancier than I thought...♪"
Near the Adventurer's Guild where Emilia belonged and Terry presided, a figure lurked in a back alley out of sight, leaning casually against the wall to observe the building. Cloaked head-to-toe in a hooded robe that hid her form, the bespectacled face beneath was unmistakably Mona. Round glasses and freckles. The horns and tail from last night were gone; she now passed for an ordinary girl, eyes narrowed as she secretly eyed the guild's impressive facade.