There’s a limit to how far you can screw with people! (2)
"Keh!"
"Pfft...!"
"Ugh!"
The Mount Hua disciples all clapped hands over their mouths at once.
Even Hyun Jong’s cheeks trembled as he covered his mouth, though his shoulders kept shaking and his whole body quivered with suppressed laughter.
Amid all that frantic reaction, only Chung Myung’s face was twisted into something pitiful and tragic.
"So... that is to say..."
Hyun Jong forced himself to speak, painfully, with great effort.
"...It... what did you say?"
It was impossible to tell whether he had truly failed to hear or simply wanted to hear it again, but Hong Dae-gwang answered dutifully.
"I said, a new epithet has been attached to the Mount Hua Divine Dragon."
Under everyone’s gazes, Hong Dae-gwang flung his arms wide with the exaggerated flourish of a storyteller onstage.
"Aha! That lofty martial prowess with which he stood toe-to-toe against Jang Il-so! That noble spirit that never once yielded! That unbroken resolve, praised because he never abandoned righteousness while everyone else sought their own way and betrayed cooperation—!"
Everyone’s bodies began to shake again like slender saplings in a gale.
"The people say: raise it high, that name!"
Then, as though nailing four characters into their ears, the words rang out.
"Mount! Hua! Sword! Hero!"
"Hahahahahahahahahaha!"
"Kkeuh! Kkeuueuh! Keh! I’m dying! Ah, I’m dying!"
"Sword hero! Sword heeero!"
"Mount Hua Sword Hero! Hah! Man, that’s awesome! That’s goooood!"
Chung Myung’s face cycled red, then blue. His fists trembled violently.
"Th... this..."
The instant he heard it, he knew exactly who had spread that epithet.
"This... this bastard... there’s a limit to how much you can screw with a person!"
Jang Il-so.
It had to be that damned bastard’s doing.
There was no need to even check. The intent was written all over the title.
When people praised swordsmanship from Mount Hua, they usually attached plum blossom to the name. That was why he was the Plum Blossom Sword Saint, not the Mount Hua Sword Saint.
Jang Il-so might not have known better, but if he had intended to praise Chung Myung’s swordsmanship, it should have been Plum Blossom Sword Hero. Instead, the new epithet carried Mount Hua.
It was a blatant declaration that Chung Myung was a man of the Mount Hua Sect.
And on top of that, the word attached to it was none other than hero.
At a time like this, for a title bearing the character for hero to spread across the world—it was an act with a clear and deliberate purpose.
So naturally, his stomach could have turned inside out...
Thud.
Then a hand came down on Chung Myung’s shoulder.
"P-please take care of us, Sword Hero!"
"......"
"Kkhhuh! Hero! Ohhh! Herooo... aaaaagh!"
As Jo Gul kept needling him, Chung Myung kicked him into the air and sent him slamming into the wall. But even while writhing in pain, he kept bursting out laughing.
"Oh my god, it’s Sword Hero!"
"I didn’t think there could ever be a title that didn’t fit so badly."
"Wow. Hero, he says. Chung Myung’s a hero! Sect Leader! Mount Hua has produced a hero! This is a great day for the sect!"
Hyun Jong covered his face with both hands.
It was a common gesture, but today the meaning was very clearly different. Chung Myung stared in disbelief at Hyun Jong’s shoulders, still trembling nonstop.
Maybe there was even saliva dripping through those fingers right now.
"...Is this funny?"
"Keh!"
"Pffft!"
"Uuuughh!"
Even Yu I-seol had turned her head away and was staring into the distance while shaking with tiny spasms, and even the dignified Tang Gun-ak had lowered his head, clenching his fist tightly as he tried to hold something back.
"Haa..."
Sect Leader Senior Brother.
Is this what I get for living...
Pfft...
This old man?
He had no right to laugh. Not with the title of Great Sage Sword hanging off him!
It was undeniably a good epithet. But anyone who knew Chung Myung could not help but lament that, of all people, that Chung Myung had been given such a name.
"Ahem!"
Hyun Jong coughed loudly, trying his best to shove the laughter away.
"That... truly is a wonderful... kkhm! Keh..."
"Just laugh. Go ahead..."
"No, no. A disciple has earned such a good, keh... epithet. It should be properly celebrated."
"A real honor, that..."
Chung Myung looked as though his soul had left his body.
Only now did he realize there was apparently a highly refined way to screw with someone this badly.
"Anyway." Hong Dae-gwang cleared his throat and went on, "the name Mount Hua Sword Hero is spreading quickly. Unnaturally quickly, in fact."
"...Of course it’s spreading fast if you’re spreading it on purpose."
"At the same time, the heroic name of the Mount Hua Divine Dragon... no, the Mount Hua Sword Hero, is spreading very quickly as well. Normally such titles would invite suspicion, but since the source is those Sapa bastards, no one can really doubt it. They wouldn’t damage their own status for no reason."
"Honestly..."
Chung Myung let out a hollow laugh.
"That crazy bastard really does know how to pull off a proper bit of madness..."
In the martial world, the standing of the Paegun was enormous—literally monstrous.
So simply having his name mentioned alongside the name of a mere later-generation disciple from Mount Hua was enough to make the Paegun seem to be lowering himself by comparison. Yet Jang Il-so was deliberately encouraging exactly that situation.
"Is he above reputation?" Baek Cheon asked.
"No way." Chung Myung snorted. "A guy like that would never not obsess over reputation. More accurately, it’s probably more important to him to drag others down than to lift himself up."
"Others?"
"The Nine Great Sects."
"Ah..."
The Nine Great Sects and the Five Great Families had committed a deed that went against cooperation. The whole world was in turmoil over it, and then a hero emerged like a sacred sign?
The more that name shone, the more the reputations of the Nine Great Sects and the Five Great Families would be dragged through the mud.
"Along with the name Mount Hua Sword Hero, the names of Mount Hua—and the Heavenly Alliance—are spreading farther and farther. People are praising the Heavenly Alliance for stabilizing the Yangtze River in place of the Nine Great Sects and the Five Great Families, and for breaking through the blockade against the Water Bandit Sect."
Hong Dae-gwang scratched the back of his head after saying that much.
"From my side, I’m not even sure whether this is something I should be happy about or not..."
Since the Beggars’ Sect was part of the Nine Great Sects, his feelings were probably complicated.
"Still, at least for the moment, the name representing the righteous faction of the martial world is not the Nine Great Sects, but the Heavenly Alliance."
"Hmm."
Hyun Jong nodded heavily.
The situation had kept growing and growing until, in the end, it had reached this point. Who could have imagined, when they first set out for the Yangtze River, that things would come to this?
Slash!
At that moment, Im So-byeong snapped open his fan and waved it lightly as he spoke.
"When people feel uneasy, they look for something that can ease that unease. So the more ominous the news from Jiangnan becomes, the more they’ll seek a place they can rely on. In such a situation, the names of the Heavenly Alliance and the Mount Hua Sword... keh! The Mount Hua Sword Hero will certainly carry great weight."
"What’s with the keh in the middle? Keh?"
Im So-byeong ignored Chung Myung and continued.
"Even a huge embankment collapses from a tiny hole. If this situation keeps going, and the Four Hegemons Alliance fans the flames with its infamous deeds to heighten the tension...!"
Clack!
He struck the table with his folded fan.
"Defections will begin."
"Defections?"
"Yes."
Im So-byeong nodded.
"The place that underestimates the Heavenly Alliance the most is the Heavenly Alliance itself. The sects of Sichuan and the western regions of the Central Plains were already considering whether to place themselves under the Heavenly Alliance. But now the Heavenly Alliance has proven both its legitimacy and its power. Tighten the reins just a little more, and those who once conformed to the order of the Nine Great Sects and the Five Great Families will come flocking to knock on the Heavenly Alliance’s door."
Tang Gun-ak nodded as if to say the words were correct.
"We are already seeing such movements."
Im So-byeong chimed in.
"Exactly. So all I have to do is handle that properly from here."
"Why would you be the one handling it?"
"Hahaha. Am I not the right man for the job? Of course everyone here is excellent, but normally you only rule the sects within your own domain. You’ve never managed sects scattered throughout the world! I, the Green Forest King, am a man who manages the mountain strongholds scattered across all nine provinces, you see!"
"So why the hell are you doing it? You Sapa bastard!"
"Gnngh. As expected of the magnificent Mount Hua Sword Hero, you must not be fond of bandits at all... H-hey, hold that properly! I’m going to die!"
By then Chung Myung had rolled his eyes and tried to get up, but Baek Cheon and Jo Gul rushed in and forced him back down.
Tang Gun-ak smiled faintly.
"Your epithet will likely spread even further."
"...Why?"
"In turbulent times, heroes are needed. Those looking for something to rely on prefer stories of heroes over reality. A noble young swordsman who stood toe-to-toe against that demon of the Sapa world. There is no tale better suited to people’s taste than that."
"...Ugh."
"And it isn’t exactly a wrong story, either."
"If you leave out the hero part."
"If you leave out the noble hero part."
"Shouldn’t we also leave out the part about standing toe-to-toe?"
Who the hell was that at the end?
"In the first place, the Heavenly Alliance needed to build up achievements. In that sense, your name becoming famous is a good thing. The Heavenly Alliance needs to make active use of this name."
"This epithet?"
"Yes."
"This?"
"That’s what I’m saying."
"Why?"
"......"
Watching Chung Myung’s face twitch with rage, Tang Gun-ak suppressed a laugh.
It seemed he truly hated it.
"In general, having the character for hero attached to one’s epithet is a matter of nothing short of glory."
"You were laughing too!"
"Ahem."
Tang Gun-ak covered his mouth, unable to deny it outright.
Everyone laughed at the absurdity of the situation, but the most delighted among them were, of course, the Five Swords.
"Keh, my martial nephew is a sword hero! And a Mount Hua Sword Hero at that! This martial uncle can die without regret!"
"...Hrrmblgr."
"Excellent. Admirable."
"......"
Setting aside Baek Cheon, who grinned smugly without a shred of dignity, who could have imagined that even Yu I-seol would be suppressing laughter with a face like that?
"Keh! I’m jealous! I want a new epithet too!"
"Uh..."
But the price for mocking one’s martial nephew came quickly.
"Ah."
Hong Dae-gwang looked at Baek Cheon with an odd smile.
"No need to be jealous. You’ve gotten a new epithet too."
"Pardon?"
Baek Cheon’s eyes widened like saucers at the sudden news.
"Why, what did I do?"
"How should I know? An epithet is something other people give you. What reason would there be?"
"......"
Cold sweat began to run down Baek Cheon’s back.
"W-what is it?"
"No need to worry. It didn’t change that much. You’re no longer the Righteous Sword of Mount Hua, but the Mount Hua Righteous Sword, Baek Cheon."
"......"
"A righteous swordsman who assisted the Mount Hua Sword Hero in fighting evil foes—"
"W-wait, stop!"
Save me. Stop. Please, stop.
He couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t bear to look at the juniors and disciples anymore, who were already letting their eyes curve into crescent moons like little demons and grinning at him.
Was it always this embarrassing?
This was beyond the level of simply crawling into a mouse hole. He wanted to throw himself into a raging river just to escape this place.
"M-Mount Hwaa... R-Righteous Swwooord?"
Especially not that bastard. He absolutely did not want to catch the eye of that little devil, who had clearly been waiting for this chance all along...!
At that moment, Hong Dae-gwang spoke again.
"And one more person... the... Yu I-seol young hero..."
Whoosh!
Yu I-seol shot up from her seat like a streak of light and lunged toward the door. Or rather, she tried to. Before she could make it, Dang Soso seized her hand tightly.
"Nope. You have to hear it, Sago."
"......"
"Ice Sword Plum Blossom, Yu I-seol! A peerless swordswoman who displayed icy sword qi and lofty righteousness!"
Yu I-seol struggled to flee like a stray cat caught by the scruff of the neck, but Dang Soso’s grip was unyielding.
"Sit still, Sago! What, it’s a pretty and good epithet!"
It would have looked like a very good thing if not for the fact that that mouth, grinning from ear to ear, looked positively wicked...
Yu I-seol, whose ears and even neck had turned bright red, fixed her gaze on the wall. The way her shoulders rose and fell made it clear she was truly mortified.
"...Could Sago’s face really change color?"
"How could it? It must be your eyes, senior brother."
"Right?"
Yoon Jong nodded.
"Hero, righteous, and all the good words—he’s plastered them all on."
As Chung Myung muttered with a hollow laugh, Jo Gul bounced in place, his eyes gleaming.
"Branch Leader! What about me?"
"Huh?"
"My epithet! What about my epithet? Then I’m Mount Hua Saint Sword?"
"Has this bastard lost his mind?"
"Where are you sticking the character for saint? That’s filthy!"
"Ah, hold on! They must have attached something to me too!"
Jo Gul looked at Hong Dae-gwang with eyes full of hope.
"Uh... well..."
"Yes. Me, me!"
At that moment, Hong Dae-gwang quietly averted his gaze.
"......"
"...Nothing?"
Hong Dae-gwang gave an awkward smile and offered words of comfort.
"Well... maybe one will show up soon? Ahem."
"......"
The spirit seemed to drain out of Jo Gul’s eyes in an instant.
"...What a filthy world. We all fight the same battles, but one is a sword hero, one is an ice sword, one is a righteous sword, and I’m just some passing Mount Hua sword guy... I got hit the most, too..."
"If you’re jealous, then at least try being handsome."
"Is that something a senior brother should say? You don’t have an epithet either!"
"That’s why I keep my mouth shut."
"...You should probably wipe your tears before talking."
"......"
Jo Gul and Yoon Jong, once again struck painfully by the fact that the world was not fair.