What Kind of Crazy Place Is This? (1)
“...A person?”
“A person, right?”
“Looks like a person to me.”
Everyone blinked at the figure sitting on the ice.
“No, wait. A bear?”
“He’s talking, isn’t he? Talking!”
“Why are you getting mad?”
When Baek Cheon glared, Yoon Jong hurriedly looked away.
The reason they even had to wonder whether he was human, despite hearing him speak, was simple. The man in front of them was wrapped head to toe in a huge bearskin cloak.
It was a kind of clothing none of them had ever seen in the Central Plains, so it was hard to think of him as a person at all.
“Should I answer?”
“...I’m not sure.”
As everyone hesitated, the man in the bearskin looked at them and spoke again.
“It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen outsiders.”
Under the thick brown fur, which even covered his head, a stark white face showed through. His beard was so wild and overgrown that it was hard to make out his features clearly, but one thing stood out immediately.
Yoon Jong and Jo Gul seized Baek Cheon by both arms and dragged him back a few steps, then whispered urgently into his ears.
“M-Martial Uncle. Martial Uncle, Martial Uncle! That man’s eyes are blue!”
“Isn’t he a goblin?”
“D-don’t panic. I’ve heard Western Region people have blue eyes!”
“...Western Region people? We’re in the north.”
“Huh?”
Baek Cheon froze, unable to answer for a moment.
As the three of them stared helplessly at the man, Yu I-seol finally shook her head and stepped forward.
“Can I speak?”
“Hmm? What do you mean?”
“...North Sea. Rejects the Central Plains.”
“Ah.”
The man nodded as if he understood.
“That’s a matter for the great and powerful. It doesn’t have much to do with the likes of us common folk.”
Then he smiled warmly.
Seeing Yu I-seol and the man carrying on a perfectly calm conversation, the Mount Hua disciples slowly crept closer again.
Baek Cheon, nudged in the side and pushed forward a little, cleared his throat and gave the man a proper martial salute.
“Forgive us. I am Baek Cheon, a second-generation disciple of Mount Hua Sect.”
“Mount Hua Sect?”
The man tilted his head and murmured, “Mount Hua... I feel as though I’ve heard of it.”
Mount Hua’s fame was spreading across the Central Plains these days, but it seemed the news hadn’t made it this far north.
Or even if it had, it wouldn’t have been strange for this man not to know Mount Hua Sect, if he wasn’t a jianghu practitioner.
Baek Cheon studied him quietly before adding, “It’s a Daoist temple in the Central Plains.”
“Ah, then you must be Daoists. I couldn’t tell from the way you were dressed.”
At that, a wry smile touched Baek Cheon’s face.
With all that fur and hide wrapped around him, it would’ve been hard to tell whether he was a Daoist, a monk, or something else entirely.
“That’s strange. You can recognize a bald head, though.”
“....”
Hey.
Why have you been acting like that toward Venerable Hye Yeon lately?
Do you have some grievance with him or what?
Baek Cheon subtly extended a foot and stomped down on Jo Gul’s toes to warn him, then coughed and asked, “...If it isn’t rude, may I ask you a few things?”
“You’re very polite, aren’t you? Ask away.”
“We’re here for the first time, so... is this the North Sea?”
“Indeed. This lake is the North Sea.”
“Ah...”
A strange sense of awe crossed Baek Cheon’s face.
Looking at the immense frozen lake stretching out before them without an end in sight, he could understand why it was called a sea.
“Looks like we found the right place.”
“Yes, thank goodness. If we’d taken the wrong road, I was ready to smash through the ice and just jump in.”
“....”
Lately, Yoon Jong had become disturbingly violent.
At that moment, Jo Gul cut in with another question.
“What are you doing out here, anyway? Doesn’t seem like there’s much to do sitting on the ice.”
The man smiled.
“It may be unfamiliar to you, but I was fishing.”
“Fishing?”
Come to think of it...
In front of the man, seated on a small chair, lay a long wooden rod, and a line from its tip hung down into a hole drilled through the ice.
“Hmm, already...”
The man calmly picked up a pole beside him and tapped the hole, breaking apart the top layer of ice that had already begun to freeze over.
Jo Gul asked in confusion, “...You can fish here? Isn’t the water completely frozen?”
“The top is frozen, but the water below is fine. If the whole lake froze solid, the fish would die, and then once winter passed it would be a dead lake, wouldn’t it?”
“Ah...”
Yoon Jong frowned and whispered to Jo Gul, “Gul.”
“Yes?”
“Don’t show off how ignorant you are. Just keep your mouth shut.”
“...Yes.”
Watching Yoon Jong so neatly put Jo Gul in his place, Baek Cheon smiled with satisfaction.
What a beautiful master-and-disciple relationship.
“Oh! It’s moving!”
Then Dang Soso, who had been watching the fishing rod, cried out. Sure enough, the rod was jerking violently, leaning hard toward the hole.
“Heave-ho.”
The man grabbed the rod with both hands and pulled with a single swift motion.
Whoosh!
Water shot up from the hole large enough for a human head, and then a huge fish, as thick around as a forearm, burst up into view.
“Wow.”
“That’s huge!”
“Hahaha.”
The man laughed heartily, clearly pleased.
“Fish this size don’t come up often these days. I’m lucky. Maybe meeting outsiders brought me good fortune?”
Then he shrugged and said in a relaxed tone, “As thanks, I’ll treat you to some fresh fish.”
“Huh?”
“Hahaha. Don’t refuse. North Sea people don’t mistreat guests.”
“No, that’s not what I mean. What did you just say?”
“I said fresh fish.”
“...That?”
“Hm?”
The man turned and looked at the fish he had caught.
It had barely been out of the water, yet a white frost had already crept across it. In that brief moment, it had frozen solid.
“...It was fresh just a moment ago.”
“....”
“....”
Everyone looking at the fish seemed slightly dazed. Then the bundles on the cart began to twitch.
“Hmm?”
The man stared in that direction with curious eyes.
And then.
Thrust!
“Huh?”
His eyes went wide.
Something had burst up through the baggage, and what emerged was another bundle.
The mouth of a sack that had been wriggling open suddenly yawned wide, and a black head popped out from inside.
“Wh-what the hell is that?”
Baek Cheon pressed his lips together and covered his face.
Normally, he would never have denied Chung Myung’s existence itself, but at that moment he felt so embarrassed he wanted to pretend he didn’t know him at all.
“...Sorry. That brat can’t handle the cold.”
Sure enough, Chung Myung, having poked his head out, screamed at the biting wind.
“Aaaagh! My head’s splitting open! Ahh!”
“....”
“Damn it! It got even colder already! What kind of godforsaken place is this!”
“....”
The man’s gaze on Chung Myung wavered with faint bewilderment.
“Didn’t you say you were Daoists?”
“He’s not. Probably.”
“....”
Whatever anyone thought of him, Chung Myung was too busy spitting out complaints to care.
“Mister! Hey, mister!”
“Hm? Me?”
“This is the North Sea, right?”
“...Yes, it is.”
“How do we get to the North Sea Ice Palace? Is it around here?”
“The Ice Palace?”
At the unexpected question, the man’s face stiffened slightly.
“You’re not seriously planning to go to the Ice Palace, are you? They’re not accepting outsiders at the moment. Even people from the North Sea need permission to get anywhere near it.”
“Oh, it’s fine. We already got permission.”
“You did?”
The man looked at the Mount Hua disciples with some suspicion, then slowly nodded.
“Well, if you hadn’t gotten permission, you wouldn’t have come all the way here during winter, when even North Sea people avoid going outside. I suppose that means it must be urgent.”
“....”
No, not really.
We just came because we felt like it.
“So, where’s the North Sea Ice Palace?”
“The path to the Ice Palace isn’t all that difficult. Just follow this lake all the way along. At the far end, where the mountains meet the water, you’ll find the Ice Palace.”
“Ah. So we just have to keep following this lake?”
“Exactly.”
Chung Myung nodded vigorously, looking relieved.
“I thought it was way farther and nearly crapped myself! So we’re basically there already, huh?”
“Hm? Didn’t you hear what I said?”
“What? You said we just had to go to the end of the lake, didn’t you?”
“...You really have no idea what the North Sea is, do you? This lake—the end of the North Sea, so to speak—is still about fifteen hundred li from here.”
“What? How much?”
“Fifteen hundred li.”
“Huh?”
“Are you deaf? I said fifteen hundred li.”
“Huh?”
“....”
Chung Myung’s eyes went into a full-blown earthquake.
“H-how many li?”
“...Fifteen hundred li.”
“Mister, you’re not kidding me, are you?”
“....”
“How many li did you say? From Mount Hua to the Sichuan Tang Family isn’t even fifteen hundred li, and you expect us to go fifteen hundred li?”
“That’s why it’s called the North Sea, isn’t it?”
“...Is this place fucking insane?”
Chung Myung muttered in disbelief.
He’d heard the lake was so huge people called it the North Sea, but there were limits to that! This was absurd beyond reason.
“You’re saying we have to drag a cart another fifteen hundred li in this freezing hell?”
At last, the thread of reason Chung Myung had been clinging to snapped.
“Damn it, if I don’t set fire to that bald bastard Beop Jeong’s head or whatever his bowl-shaped skull is, I’m not a human being! That monk in robes actually lied to us? Is this a place people are supposed to come to? Is it?”
He had thought the Shaolin informants had been beaten to death by those Demonic Sect bastards, but now it seemed they’d simply frozen to death. Frozen to death!
But no one was there to stop Chung Myung’s tirade. Baek Cheon and the other disciples were equally stunned.
“Fifteen hundred li?”
They already felt like they were about to freeze to death, and now they had to go another fifteen hundred li north? Their faces turned pale.
The man shook his head with sympathy.
“You really had no idea what the North Sea was like, did you? This is only the entrance to the North Sea. Up in the mountain range beyond here, it gets even colder—nothing like this at all.”
“....”
“In that clothing, you’d be perfect for freezing to death.”
The man smiled faintly as he spoke.
“No helping it. Since this is fate, follow me.”
“Huh?”
“North Sea people don’t mistreat guests. It would be best if you came to my home first and warmed yourselves up.”
“Ah... thank you for the offer, but...”
“Yes! We’ll go!”
Baek Cheon, cut off by Chung Myung before he could finish, turned around with a sour expression.
“Hey. Just barging into someone’s house like that...”
“Is that really the issue when I’m about to freeze to death? If we die frozen on the roadside, who’s going to hold a funeral and praise us for being polite?”
Chung Myung was proving with his whole body exactly why people from cold regions were said to have hot tempers.
“He’s not wrong. Better not underestimate the North Sea.”
“...Then I’ll shamelessly impose on you.”
“Hahaha. Shamelessness has nothing to do with it. Come along.”
The man began tidying up the place he’d been sitting in.
“Still, this is fortunate. There’s not much to eat in winter, but at least we caught some meat today.”
“Huh? That?”
At Chung Myung’s question, the man nodded.
“You’re going to share that?”
“...In the North Sea during winter, even catching something like this is no easy matter.”
Even so, that fish? Just one fish?
“Ugh. Better to suffer than to die.”
They might freeze to death, but they weren’t about to starve too. If he’d been reborn as a beggar, that didn’t mean he had to live like one.
Chung Myung shot out of the sack and sprinted toward the hole in the ice.
“Brrr! It’s cold! So damn cold! Ahh! I’m really gonna freeze to death!”
Then, without hesitation, he shoved his hand deep into the hole.
“W-wait, what are you do—”
“Hiiiyaah!”
Chung Myung yanked his arm out in one sharp motion, shattering the ice around the hole. A cluster of fish, each as thick as a human forearm, burst up together.
“Wha—?”
Thunk! Thunk-thunk!
The fish landed on the ice, thrashed once or twice, and then froze white.
“Oh! Chung Myung, nice—”
Baek Cheon turned to praise him, eyes bright, but Chung Myung was already gone.
“....”
Looking back, he saw the sack, its mouth tightly cinched shut, wriggling its way back into the pile of baggage.
“...I can’t tell if I should curse that bastard or praise him.”
“It’s probably always like that, Martial Uncle.”
Yoon Jong patted Baek Cheon’s shoulder as if to comfort him.
The man looked back and forth between the fish scattered across the ice and the sack that had burrowed into the baggage.
For a moment, a faint chill settled into his eyes.
“Hurry up and load them.”
“Yes!”
As Mount Hua’s disciples loaded all the frozen fish onto the cart, the man also quickly packed away the fishing rod.
“I don’t think... you’re ordinary guests.”
Then he straightened and looked at Baek Cheon.
“Let me introduce myself again. My name is Hong Riming.”
“As I said earlier, we are disciples of the Mount Hua Sect in the Central Plains. I am Mount Hua’s third—”
“I get it already! Let’s go! I’m freezing to death!”
“....”
Seeing Baek Cheon look at him with a slightly hurt expression, Hong Riming nodded.
“Come along.”
“...Yes.”
Baek Cheon could only feel, once again, that this man’s personality was basically unchanged whether the weather was freezing or scorching.