I Know It, But I Can’t Hold Back! (4)
"Hahahahahaha! Senior Brother! Please accept this cup from your junior disciple!"
"All right, you brat!"
The drinking party was in full swing.
Normally, even when they held a feast, they would eat and drink in the dining hall in moderation. But today, since they’d finally found a proper excuse to let loose, bonfires had been lit all over the training grounds and food and liquor spread directly on the ground.
Even the disciples who had been awkward at first were now thoroughly drunk, gathering in little groups, laughing boisterously and gulping down drink after drink.
"Are they bandits?"
Watching them, Hong Dae-gwang let out an amused snort, unable to help himself.
Jugs of liquor were being passed around, and meat was sizzling golden over the fire.
Honestly, if not for the magnificent buildings and the robes they wore, it would have been easy to mistake this for a bandit feast deep in the mountains.
"Huh? Why’s that one stripping off his shirt?"
What a complete mess.
The drunkest of them were shouting, laughing, and having the time of their lives.
Hong Dae-gwang shook his head, yet for some reason he kept smiling.
This is such a strange place.
To anyone else, it might have looked chaotic and sloppy. But Hong Dae-gwang found their behavior incredibly likable. Every one of them looked so bright while they drank and made a racket that simply watching them made him feel better.
That kind of warmth was something you only saw in the Beggars’ Sect’s little hovels, where people lived shoulder to shoulder and even shared a single bowl of scavenged rice. No, in truth, it was hard to see even there anymore.
And yet Mount Hua, despite having far more people than any beggars’ shack could ever hold, still naturally kept that family-like atmosphere.
"Senior Brother! What are you doing? The fly’ll land in your cup!"
"Aigoo! Our monk should have a drink too!"
"Amitabha. This poor monk is…"
"Come on! Drink!"
"K, khm. Then just one cup…."
An unguarded atmosphere drew people in.
Before long, not only Hye Yeon but even the Beggars’ Sect men he had brought along had squeezed into the middle of Mount Hua’s disciples and were trading cups back and forth.
Hong Dae-gwang wanted nothing more than to throw himself into that circle, forget all his worries, and drink until he collapsed.
But amid all that happiness, there was exactly one person suffering.
"Where do you think you’re going!"
"Hands off!"
"Go on, then, try to drink! I’ll punch a hole through your stomach and drain the booze right back out."
"……."
Chung Myung’s hand, which had been sneaking toward a liquor bottle, was helplessly yanked back by the shouting of Baek Cheon, Jo Gul, and Dang Soso.
"No…."
Chung Myung complained with a profoundly wronged look on his face.
"Everybody else is eating and having fun, so why am I the only one…?"
"You lunatic!"
"L-look at him! He’s at it again, acting all pitiful and trying to talk his way out of it!"
"Exactly, who told you to put holes in your own body? Who’s more injured than Senior Brother?"
Baek Cheon and Jo Gul could at least be restrained by force.
But Dang Soso, with the name of the Medicine Hall backing her up like an unmovable banner, was practically popping veins in her forehead, and even Chung Myung had trouble dealing with her.
"……No, I mean, everyone should go drink too… huh? Go have some fun or something. Why are you glued to my side like leeches, making sure I can’t even rest…?"
"Don’t talk bullshit. Leave you alone and you’ll drink a full measure by yourself at the drop of a hat."
"No booze! Don’t even dream about it!"
Baek Cheon and Dang Soso glared at him threateningly.
Chung Myung looked up at the sky with tragic eyes.
So now even these little brats were watching him drink.
"Hah-hah-hah. So Chung Myung is here after all."
As if reading his mind, Hyun Young, who had been strolling around the training grounds with his hands clasped behind his back, approached with a smile.
Seeing his chance, Chung Myung hurriedly made a miserable face and started to speak.
"E-Elder! These three are—"
"Baek Cheon."
"Yes, Elder."
"If a single drop of liquor touches Chung Myung’s lips, it’s your responsibility."
"There will absolutely be no such thing."
"Tsk, tsk. You need to move that body around in moderation too. Hmph."
Clicking his tongue, Hyun Young turned and strode away. Chung Myung, betrayed in an instant, gaped and muttered under his breath.
"……Did he come all the way here just to mock me?"
"Hey! Watch your mouth in front of an elder!"
"I’ll sew that gob shut!"
With a long, resentful sigh, Chung Myung let his head hang.
These bastards have gotten way too full of themselves.
In the past, they would have averted their eyes the moment he glared at them. Now, when he glared, they’d come at him with their fingers ready to poke his face.
But what could he do?
He was the one who had raised them.
Just as Chung Myung was casting a sideways glance around the area to soothe his wounded pride, Yoon Jong spoke up cautiously, checking everyone’s expressions first.
"Still… I’m a little uneasy. Is it really all right to drink like this when everything with Maninbang hasn’t been fully settled yet?"
"Why not?"
"Because the matter with Maninbang isn’t completely over, and…"
Yoon Jong had only just started speaking when Chung Myung opened his mouth with an air of, Aha, let me tell you something—
"That’s not wrong."
Baek Cheon spoke first in a low voice.
"In the military, it’s common to give the soldiers liquor and meat after a large battle to raise morale. Whether the result is a great victory or a crushing defeat, it’s the same."
"Ah…."
"After all, war is fought by people. Everyone was holding themselves in, but in this battle, most of them faced the threat of death for the first time. And it was the first time they’d ever stained their swords with blood. If they weren’t shaken, that would be stranger."
"That’s true."
Yoon Jong nodded, looking as though he understood.
"Of course, liquor can’t wash everything away, but it can at least ease the burden a little. I think the Sect Leader would want that as well. Wouldn’t he, Chung Myung?"
"Uh… yeah, I guess so?"
Senior Brother.
Good job, all on your own.
But if Senior Brother is going to say all of that, then what the hell am I supposed to say?
A person couldn’t cut down another person and remain completely unaffected. It had been unavoidable, and they had no choice but to do it. But for those who weren’t used to it, it could become pain that lasted a lifetime.
In truth, weren’t there plenty of people in the martial world who suffered for years after their first killing?
Even if they said nothing out loud, there were bound to be children whose insides were rotting away.
Looking at the Mount Hua disciples, busy eating and drinking, Chung Myung spoke quietly.
"And being too tense isn’t good either. If we’re not fighting Maninbang right this second, then letting them loosen up a little is necessary."
"I think so too."
In that sense, Hyun Jong had made a fairly appropriate choice. And he was someone who had never even properly experienced a battlefield.
Hyun Jong, Un Geom, and even Baek Cheon and the others were all doing better than Chung Myung had expected.
"Putting everything else aside, this is absolutely worth celebrating. We pushed back that Maninbang, after all."
At Baek Cheon’s words, everyone nodded. Then another voice suddenly cut in.
"It’s not just that little."
As everyone turned, Hong Dae-gwang grinned and came over to sit down among them.
"The ones who understand least how incredible Mount Hua’s achievement is are actually the people of Mount Hua themselves. You can be a little happier. A little more proud."
The faces of Mount Hua’s disciples began to flush faintly. Hearing it from an outsider made it feel all the more real.
Maninbang.
Just a few years ago, who would have ever imagined Mount Hua’s name standing side by side with one of the Five Hegemons of the Jianghu?
If it had been the old Mount Hua, even a single of Maninbang’s three corps would have been enough to force them to abandon the main peak and flee.
And now they had risen to the point where they could repel three corps on their own.
That was what it meant when the world turned upside down.
"Of course."
Hong Dae-gwang’s voice sharpened a touch.
"Maninbang’s lord, Tyrant Lord Jang Il-so, is not someone who’ll back down like this."
"……."
"He spent his whole life building Maninbang into one of the Five Hegemons of the Jianghu. He’s notoriously obsessed with his own gains, and if someone gets the better of him, he’s the sort who must always pay it back. Which means…"
Hong Dae-gwang looked over everyone once and continued.
"It means Mount Hua will keep fighting Maninbang from here on out too."
Those were heavy words for anyone living in the martial world. And yet the Mount Hua disciples who heard them remained oddly calm.
Seeing that reaction, Hong Dae-gwang tilted his head.
"……Aren’t you afraid?"
"Why would we be?"
"……Huh?"
Jo Gul grinned.
"That’s just how the martial world works, isn’t it? The stronger you get, the more enemies you make. Even Shaolin has factions that keep their distance from them, so how could we expect to get along with everyone?"
"Oh?"
Hong Dae-gwang looked at Jo Gul with fresh eyes.
Baek Cheon, listening from the side, added his own words.
"He’s right. The name Maninbang is certainly burdensome, but as long as Mount Hua continues to stand for the righteous sects and expand its influence, collision was inevitable sooner or later. We must not underestimate them, but there’s no need to fear them either."
For a moment, Hong Dae-gwang felt himself overwhelmed by that steady calm, and a disbelieving laugh escaped him.
So this was what heroic spirit felt like?
Mount Hua really has gathered some remarkable people.
At the same time, he found himself wondering.
When these people were fully grown and Mount Hua came to be led by them, what sort of sect would it become?
"Fine words. Very well, then pour me a cup too."
As Hong Dae-gwang held out his cup, Jo Gul tilted the bottle and filled it. Watching that, Baek Cheon added,
"And you, Chung Myung, don’t even think abo— hmm?"
Turning to look beside him, Baek Cheon blinked. Then he hurriedly glanced around.
"W-where the hell did Chung Myung go?"
"……What the hell."
"What, is he a ghost? He was definitely here just a second ago."
"S-senior Brother! Several bottles of liquor are gone too!"
"Grrrr…."
Baek Cheon clutched his head.
"Damn it, no! I was told I’m responsible! Find him, now! Hurry!"
"……Why are we the ones searching if it’s your responsibility?"
"Do you want to die starting today?"
Watching Baek Cheon start bickering with his martial juniors over something so trivial, Hong Dae-gwang smiled wryly.
Heroic spirit, my ass.
He must have been mistaken for a moment.
"Grrrgh, up we go!"
Chung Myung, having slipped out of the banquet unnoticed, climbed to the summit of Yeonhwabong.
"Damn it. This place is disgustingly steep."
No matter how many times he climbed it, he never got used to it.
After grumbling for a moment, Chung Myung trudged toward the cliff. It had been dark for quite some time already, but his eyes could still clearly take in the steep precipice and the view of Mount Hua spread out below it.
"Tsk."
Taking a step back, he sat down on the ground and pulled a liquor bottle and two cups from inside his robes, setting them down before him.
He had sneaked out, yes—but it was still a very good place.
Good enough that he wanted to sit with everyone else and laugh and drink together.
But tonight, he didn’t want to drink there. There was someone else he needed to share this drink with.
"Please have a cup."
Glug, glug, glug.
Chung Myung filled the cup set on the other side and spoke in a low voice.
"Now that I think about it, it’s been a really long time since I poured you a drink, Sect Leader Senior Brother."
They hadn’t really had proper drinking bouts all that often.
Sect Leader Senior Brother would nag him all night whenever the two of them sat down to drink.
Glug, glug, glug.
His own cup was filled as well.
He usually preferred drinking straight from the bottle, but tonight he wanted to feel as though he was sharing a cup with Chung Mun.
Chung Myung emptied the cup in one go.
"Krrrgh!"
The strong Mount Hua liquor slid burning down his throat.
"Senior Brother."
Setting the cup down, Chung Myung gazed at Mount Hua spread beneath Yeonhwabong and smiled.
Chung Mun wasn’t sitting across from him now. But that was fine. Sect Leader Senior Brother was the kind of person who was like Mount Hua itself. Just looking at Mount Hua felt like Chung Mun was sitting there in front of him.
"The kids have grown a lot."
Chung Myung snorted softly.
"I was worried like hell, but maybe I was being too nosy. They’re all doing much better than I expected."
Even Sect Leader Hyun Jong, even the elders.
Not only the Un generation, but the Baek generation and the Cheong generation too.
They had all grown so much it was impossible to compare them with the Mount Hua of the day Chung Myung first climbed the mountain.
"It felt kind of strange, you know? I guess that’s why Sect Leader Senior Brother kept nagging me to take disciples. Watching the kids grow up, it’s like… I don’t know, I feel proud, but also kind of itchy inside."
Chung Myung, speaking to the empty air, suddenly laughed to himself.
"Ah, I know. It’s not time to get sentimental already. We still have a mountain of road ahead of us. I know that, but…"
Glug, glug, glug.
He poured more liquor into the cup and drank it down in a single swallow.
"It just felt like that. You know how it is. If you were here right now, you’d be so happy to see this. You’d be grinning and saying our descendants are doing well. I just kept thinking that."
There was no one to celebrate with him.
There was no one to share this complicated, overwhelming feeling with.
"Don’t misunderstand. I’m plenty happy right now. I’m not doing this because I’m lonely. There are bastards around here who won’t let me be lonely. They’re probably already looking for me as we speak."
It was just…
Chung Myung, who had been silently staring at the dark sky, reached out and took Chung Mun’s cup in his hand.
"Have a drink."
He splashed the liquor in the cup toward Mount Hua, then grinned, set the cup back down, and filled it again.
After a brief silence, Chung Myung spoke in a slightly calmer voice.
"Back then…"
A hint of darkness entered his lowered eyes.
"I’m sorry for saying you were being annoyingly stuffy. When I tried doing it myself, I found out it wasn’t nearly as simple as I thought. I figured you must’ve gone crazy with worry having to clean up after me all the time. Hah. Funny, huh?"
To think there were things he had never known even after living all his life, only to understand them now.
Chung Myung flopped backward onto the ground.
Lying there, he drank straight from the bottle, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and let out a faint smile.
"You probably thought I’d go charging off to Maninbang or somewhere, didn’t you?"
In the past, he absolutely would have.
He’d have run off without even looking back.
But the present Chung Myung could no longer be the Plum Blossom Sword Saint of the past.
"You know, this is how it is. The reason I could run wild the way I did back then was probably because you were there, Senior Brother. But now that I feel like things fall apart if I’m not around… I can’t act like I used to anymore. I just couldn’t do it."
Chung Myung looked up at the sky with a strange expression.
But it was no longer the kind of face that looked resentful or suffocated. On the contrary, there was even a trace of pride there.
"Senior Brother. It’s a little different from Mount Hua when you were here, but…"
He asked the sky,
"It’s still pretty good, right?"
He wanted that answer.
Even if it was a reply he could no longer hear.
"Praise the kids for me. They’re all really working hard. They’ve only just gotten to the point where they can earn their keep, but that’s still something, isn’t it? I was seriously surprised this time."
So then.
So then…
Chung Myung slowly closed his eyes.
You’re doing well, you brat.
"Only in words."
And when that voice came to him, he couldn’t help but laugh.
Only in words, huh. Only in words.
Rising to his feet, he picked up the bottle and walked to the edge of Yeonhwabong. Standing at the cliff’s edge, he gazed quietly at Mount Hua, then extended the bottle and tilted it.
"Share it with the brothers and sisters down there. There probably isn’t any liquor in the immortal realm. Ah. I can’t give you the other bottle. That one’s mine."
Someday.
I’ll come drink with you too.
The liquor scattered like rain over the quiet Mount Hua.
And with the sharp scent of the strong spirit, the fragrance of plum blossoms that had filled Mount Hua spread far and wide, reaching even the sky it could never touch.
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