Don’t Say It Yet. (1)
"It’s done!"
"Ooooh!"
The Hyeon generation disciples collapsed backward, completely spent.
Spread out before them on the silk cloth were rows of faintly violet spiritual pills.
"Ah…."
Hyun Jong stared at the sight, too moved to say another word.
"So it really is finished?"
At Hyun Young’s question, Un-gak slowly nodded.
His face was haggard beyond measure, but beneath that exhaustion there was no hiding the pride in his eyes.
"It’s complete. It’s definitely a little different from the Honwon Pill we originally meant to make…."
Well, of course it was.
The Honwon Pill certainly didn’t have that violet color.
"But its effects are definitely superior to the Honwon Pill!"
"Oh!"
Hyun Sang looked at the pills—no, at the Jaso-dan—with eyes bright with emotion.
But in this world, there were always people who put reason before sentiment.
"How do you know that?"
"Pardon?"
Un-gak turned his head. There, Hyun Young was eyeing him with a peculiar look.
"You can tell a pill’s effectiveness just by looking at it? You didn’t even make it; Chung Myung completed it, so how can you be sure of its effect?"
"Ah… well…."
As Un-gak fumbled for words, suspicion crept into Hyun Young’s gaze.
"Don’t tell me…?"
As if his own foot had been stepped on, Un-gak blurted out in indignation.
"Hey! I only tasted the tiniest, tiniest crumb of it! Even if you’re cooking, you have to taste the seasoning. I need to know the effect before I can judge it!"
"Y-you! How dare you talk nonsense with that mouth of yours!"
To Chung Myung, Hyun Young was all warmth and gentleness, but to everyone else he was still the most fearsome elder on Mount Hua.
When he glared, Un-gak shrank his neck in a flinch.
Then Hyun Jong smiled faintly and stopped Hyun Young.
"He’s not wrong, is he?"
"And what, he should know just by eating a speck of it?"
"Enough. The Medicine Hall Lord has had enough hardship already."
"Tch."
Though his expression was still openly displeased, Hyun Young could not ignore Hyun Jong’s words, and reluctantly eased the sharpness from his eyes.
Hyun Jong looked at Un-gak and asked, "Well? How is the effect?"
Only after secretly letting out a sigh of relief did Un-gak answer respectfully.
"I only consumed a truly minute amount, so I can’t say with certainty, but it seems nearly certain that its effectiveness is absolutely no less than the Honwon Pill’s. If I could eat a proper pill, I’m sure I could confirm it—but since we happened to make one more, if I were to take that…."
"Hahaha. It’s already been completed. What difference would it make to know in advance?"
"No, but still, just one pill…."
"Hahaha."
"…."
Hyun Jong only answered with hearty laughter.
It was his way of saying there would absolutely be no giving him one more.
Un-gak clicked his tongue in disappointment.
"Still… the pill looks a little smaller than the Honwon Pill."
"We had to divide them exactly according to the number of disciples. It couldn’t help but become a little smaller."
"Hmm. Is that so?"
"The amount of Purple Wood Grass we could obtain at once was extremely limited. And as for the other ingredients, they’re easier to find than Purple Wood Grass, but not the kind of things we can gather in bulk."
"I see. That’s a little regrettable, but there’s no helping it."
Hyun Jong nodded quietly.
It meant that making Jaso-dan again would take a great deal of time. But he did not seem especially disappointed.
Excessive greed always invites disaster.
Even this amount of spiritual medicine was enough to make other sects froth at the mouth and come charging with swords drawn.
To wish for such pills to be made freely, in whatever amount one wanted, was nothing more than a thief’s mindset.
As it was, this alone was already enough to make one’s eyes spin.
"Then, shall we…."
Hyun Jong turned slightly and looked at Chung Myung.
"Shouldn’t we call the children in and distribute these now?"
Chung Myung shook his head.
"Not yet."
"Hm?"
His gaze landed on Hyun Jong, Hyun Sang, and Hyun Young in turn.
"Even cold water has its order, doesn’t it? The three of you should take it first."
"…."
The Hyeon generation disciples looked at one another in surprise.
"…Us?"
"Yes."
Chung Myung strode over, picked up three pills, and held them out to Hyun Jong, Hyun Sang, and Hyun Young.
"Hurry up."
"…."
Hyun Jong smiled.
"To think you would even consider us. That is truly kind of you. But, Chung Myung. We’ve lived long enough. So rather than us taking these pills, it would be better if the disciples each had one more…."
"What do you mean, lived long enough? You’ve still got another hundred years to go."
"…Huh?"
"Don’t go thinking you can dump everything on the disciples and retire. Eat this and work yourself to the bone for another thirty years."
"…."
Was that filial piety, or was it a crime against one’s elders?
Even Hyun Jong could not clearly tell the difference.
"We…."
Then Chung Myung shook his head.
"Sect Leader."
"Hm?"
"This little thing isn’t much of anything."
"…."
Chung Myung said with a firm face, "From here on, Mount Hua will gain far more things and accomplish far more. By then, Jaso-dan will be nothing special, so just take it. You can make sacrifices later."
"…."
Nothing special, he said.
"Hahaha. Yes, that’s right. That’s how it should be. Hahaha."
When Hyun Jong burst into hearty laughter, Hyun Young snorted and continued on his behalf.
"You must understand us. We’ve lived our whole lives without any luxuries, so when something like this is put in our hands, our hearts get all tight. We’ve never so much as properly gotten a single ginseng root in our lives, and now you’re telling us to just take a spiritual pill? My hands just won’t move."
At that, Hyun Sang frowned slightly.
"You never know how to hold your tongue in front of a child."
"And what exactly did I say wrong?"
It was meant as a joke, but Chung Myung did not laugh.
Instead, he felt a faint ache in some corner of his chest.
Tch.
He clicked his tongue bitterly.
In Chung Myung’s mind, the core of Mount Hua was the Cheong generation and the Baek generation.
Mount Hua, newly rebuilt under his command, needed them to become the backbone.
But that was only for Mount Hua’s future. The people he pitied most were the Hyeon generation standing right before him.
It makes my stomach hurt.
They had spent their entire lives in misery ever since entering Mount Hua, and even when their more practical peers all left the sect, these fools had stubbornly remained behind, intending to become Mount Hua’s ghosts.
To Chung Myung, they would always be the sorest spot in his heart.
So….
"Take it."
"I understand your feelings, but…."
"Ah, enough. I don’t want to hear any more. Just take it already. If you don’t, I’ll smash the whole lot!"
His expression was unyielding.
As though on this matter alone, he would never back down.
Hyun Jong quietly looked at him for a long moment before finally nodding and taking the pill.
"Very well, I’ll accept it."
"Sect Leader."
"Enough."
Cutting off Hyun Sang’s worried voice, Hyun Jong smiled faintly.
"This pill was essentially made by Chung Myung from beginning to end, so the matter of how it is used also belongs to this child. If the owner says to eat it, how could I refuse?"
"…Yes."
"Hahaha. So this is the day I get to receive filial piety from my disciples, is it?"
Warm laughter spilled from Hyun Jong’s mouth.
His smile was slightly damp with tears, yet at the same time so clear and pure.
"We just swallow it, yes?"
Un-gak answered at once.
"Yes, Sect Leader. No special preparation is needed."
"Good. The rest of you should prepare as well."
"Yes."
Hyun Young and Hyun Sang, too, could only accept the Jaso-dan Chung Myung held out to them.
"I’ll stand guard. You can take them right here."
At Chung Myung’s words, the Hyeon generation disciples nodded and sat down where they were, folding their legs into meditation posture.
Un-gak swallowed nervously. Then he carefully gathered up the Jaso-dan scattered on the floor and stepped back, worried that if some problem arose during circulation, the pills might be damaged.
"Take it."
"Hmm. Very well."
With expressions full of mixed emotions, Hyun Jong quietly stared at the Jaso-dan, then closed his eyes slightly and slipped the pill into his mouth.
Hyun Sang followed his example and swallowed his in one motion.
The two of them closed their eyes and began circulating their energy.
But Hyun Young alone still had not put the pill in his mouth. He simply sat there, staring quietly at Chung Myung.
"Aren’t you taking it?"
Even at Chung Myung’s words, Hyun Young did not budge. Only after a little time passed did he quietly speak.
"Chung Myung."
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
"…."
His sincere gaze rested on Chung Myung.
"I had to say this much. Thank you, Chung Myung."
"…You’re making it sound all awkward. Just eat it already."
"No."
Hyun Young shook his head.
"Sometimes there are things that have to be said out loud. Things that aren’t enough if you only keep them in your heart."
"…."
"Thank you, Chung Myung. You’ve given us so much."
"Ugh. Don’t get all weird and awkward on me… just eat it."
"Yes. I should eat it. It’s from you, after all."
Even after saying that, Hyun Young kept staring at Chung Myung in silence for a long while.
Hyun Young’s eyes.
Feeling in them the same look his senior brother, the former Sect Leader, had once given him, Chung Myung pressed his lips tightly together.
After staring at Chung Myung like that for some time, Hyun Young finally closed his eyes and put the pill into his mouth.
As the pill melted and slid down into his stomach, Hyun Young entered meditation. And in that instant, a tiny voice seemed to echo by his ear like a hallucination.
It’s not you who should be grateful. It’s me.
Was it an illusion?
But there was no time to think about it more deeply. Hyun Young had already entered circulation, and soon lost himself completely in the state of no-self.
Chung Myung silently watched the three of them before turning his gaze out the window.
For some reason, he could not bear to keep watching. If he kept looking, he felt like he would see something ugly.
I’m sorry.
He had not protected Mount Hua.
He had failed to guard it to the very end. What he had saved was the martial world, not Mount Hua.
And these were the people who had defended the Mount Hua he had failed to protect.
When he looked at these three people, younger than he had been when he died, now worn down by the winds of the world into the wrinkled faces of old men, there were times the pain in his chest became unbearable.
If Chung Myung had not died atop the Hundred Thousand Great Mountains, these people would likely have soared through the world as disciples of Mount Hua, standing firm with Chung Myung and Chung Mun.
But Chung Myung had died without protecting them.
While guarding the Mount Hua he left behind, the boys’ hair had gone white with frost and wrinkles had gathered on the hands that held their swords.
Their hearts, once brimming with vigor, had dried up before the wall of reality, and their dreams of blue skies had been buried beneath crushing burdens.
I’m sorry.
I couldn’t protect you.
I made your lives harder.
I….
I took your lives away.
I….
Fools.
What was Mount Hua worth that you stayed here and spent your lives for it? If you’d simply left like everyone else, your own lives would have been easier.
Idiot bastards.
Utterly hopeless fools.
So then.
I’ll give it back to you.
The dreams you have not yet finished dreaming.
The wish you once had to race through the world.
I’ll make it real.
I couldn’t hold you on my lap when you were little and protect you, so from now on, I’ll be your shelter.
So, my descendants.
Don’t say it like that yet.
Don’t call yourselves old. Don’t say you’re fine now, either.
Does growing old make a dream disappear?
Does it erase what one desires?
No. More than anyone, I know that isn’t true.
You simply endure. You simply look away.
You only stop dreaming of what can no longer be achieved.
I’ll make you dream again.
Chung Myung slowly closed his eyes. His eyelashes trembled faintly.
After standing there with his eyes closed for a long while, he eventually walked to the window and stopped beside it. Then he looked up at the sky with sorrow-filled eyes.
Senior brother.
Senior brother, Sect Leader.
I….
I still owe Mount Hua far too much.
Senior brother….