This Is Hell (1)
“Heheheheh.”
“……”
“Kh-heup.”
“……”
“Kiiiiiih-heeheehee-kiiiih-hee!”
“……”
Yoon Jong silently looked up at the sky.
Damn it.
Why did the sky have to be so clear today of all days?
Chung Myung clapped with a low, satisfied “Krrr,” then suddenly straightened his shoulders and put on a deeply righteous expression. After that, he began to imitate Yoon Jong from a moment ago.
“I don’t know! Do people need a reason to help other people?”
“Huuuuuuh?”
Then Jo Gul, who had quickly stepped in front of Chung Myung, took the cue and acted out his own exaggerated surprise.
“I simply follow where my heart leads! That is my Dao!”
“Huuuuuuh?! You have a Dao?”
“Bwahaahahahahahaha!”
“Kihihihihihihihi!”
Chung Myung and Jo Gul collapsed in laughter. Yoon Jong looked up at the sky, his eyes burning. Then he hurriedly wiped at the corners of his eyes.
Those demon spawn.
Why had he done it?
He should have just let it slide. Why had he gone and blurted out everything that came to mind without distinguishing what should and should not be said, and ended up suffering this humiliation?
“Krrr! So a Daoist has appeared on Mount Hua!”
“Chung Myung. Of course Mount Hua would have Daoists. It’s Mount Hua.”
“Ah, right. Then a proper Daoist has appeared on Mount Hua!”
“A Daoist is a Daoist, you idiot!”
“Krrrrr! Sahyung! This saje is truly impressed!”
Chung Myung!
Just punch me already.
Seriously, if you’d stop beating me with your mouth and just hit me with your fists for once, this sahyung would be very grateful.
Wiping away the tears that had filled his eyes again, Yoon Jong looked at Baek Cheon with pleading eyes. Baek Cheon, who understood the desperation hidden in that look, coughed awkwardly and turned to Chung Myung and Jo Gul.
“You two should stop now!”
“Eh.”
“Yes. Understood, sasuk.”
When the two who had been tormenting him so gleefully finally quieted down, Baek Cheon nodded with exaggerated dignity and said,
“A great Daoist has appeared in Mount Hua, and you still mock him like that? You should be learning from Yoon Jong’s Dao, not teasing him for it. You ought to… pfft!”
“……”
Baek Cheon clapped a hand over his mouth.
“Sasuk….”
“Ah, sorry. I keep thinking about it… pffhahahah!”
Even Baek Cheon broke down, and Chung Myung wasted no time seizing the opening!
“That’s my duty as a disciple of Mount Hua!”
“Ah! I told you to stop!”
“Hhzh mhrrg! Kihihihihihi.”
Chung Myung was rolling with laughter now. Watching him laugh so hard he was practically crying made Yoon Jong sink into endless reflection on what Dao was and what life was.
Thud.
Baek Cheon laid a hand on Yoon Jong’s shoulder, coughed a few times, then finally spoke.
“There’s no need to be embarrassed.”
“……”
“You did well. You weren’t wrong. We were just too lacking to keep up.”
“Krrr! Exactly. How lucky I am to have such an amazing sahyung! This Chung Myung is deeply moved! Sahyung! From now on, I’ll only trust yo—”
“Get lost!”
Baek Cheon kicked at Chung Myung, who came waddling over while rubbing his hands together, and sent him flying far away.
“That pest of a bastard.”
“……You were laughing too, sasuk.”
“Sorry.”
Baek Cheon covered his mouth, trying to force back the laughter that kept bursting out.
“Mmph. Mmph…”
“Kihihihihihi.”
“Kekekekekekeke.”
This was hell.
This was definitely hell.
Watching Yoon Jong tremble in despair and humiliation, Baek Cheon secretly looked a little apologetic.
To be fair, Yoon Jong had really done well today. No matter how flawless the logic, it wouldn’t have been easy to persuade people whose feelings were already hurt.
But Yoon Jong had convinced them not with logic, but with his own Dao.
He really pulled off something huge.
Thanks to him, Mount Hua had been able to properly establish friendly ties with Yunnan. Compared to that, securing the exclusive right to Yunnan tea almost seemed trivial.
Building good relations with the Southern Barbarian Beast Palace, one of the Five Outer Palaces, was an astonishing achievement.
We’re unexpectedly gaining a lot on this trip to Yunnan.
Not only had they made contact with the Beast Palace, they had also formed an alliance with the Dang Family. They had laid the groundwork to connect with the most powerful forces in the western reaches of the Central Plains.
And above all…
“You’re keeping the Purple Wood Grass safe, right?”
“Just watch me.”
Baek Cheon turned his head slightly. Chung Myung had the sack of Purple Wood Grass wrapped so tightly around himself that it looked like it had become part of his body. Unless someone killed Chung Myung first, there was no way they were getting near it.
“……At this point, it looks safer than the imperial archives.”
“I think so too.”
Snickering, Baek Cheon cleared his throat.
“All of you, gather here.”
“Yes, sasuk.”
Jo Gul, Yoon Jong, Chung Myung, and Yu I-seol came close around Baek Cheon.
“First… it may be a little early to say this, but you’ve all worked hard.”
“Not at all, sasuk.”
“But it’s still too soon to relax. Our goal isn’t just to save the Purple Wood Grass. It’s to bring it safely all the way back to Mount Hua.”
“And one more thing!”
Chung Myung said firmly.
“The goal is to get it back as fast as possible.”
“Exactly!”
Baek Cheon nodded.
“You all know how hard things have been until now. But let’s save the rest for when we’re back in Mount Hua.”
“Of course, sasuk!”
“Good. Then for now… we’ll need to meet up with the Hwapyeong Merchant Troupe again.”
“Huh? Why those guys?”
At Chung Myung’s question, Baek Cheon frowned slightly.
“How else are we supposed to get out of Yunnan?”
“Why bother? We can just buy a carriage. We already have horses.”
“Huh? Horses….”
Baek Cheon’s eyes widened a little.
“Ah….”
“I’m, I’m really starving, Vice Leader.”
“……”
“At this rate I’m really going to die.”
“We can’t even beg. The people here are far too cold-hearted….”
“My stomach feels like it’s sticking to my back… There isn’t even bark left to peel off and eat.”
Listening to the flood of complaints, the Vice Leader of the Jangho Trafficking Band, Bang Yo, let out a long sigh.
It had already been several days since Chung Myung had left after sealing their internal energy. Stranded in a distant foreign land with not a thread of cultivation left, they could do nothing but kill time.
“What do you want me to do? There’s no other way.”
“Wouldn’t it be better if we just tried robbing people again?”
“How are you supposed to rob anyone without internal energy?”
“So what if we don’t have internal energy? Are we really supposed to lose to ordinary peasants?”
“……And who’s going to clean up after that?”
“……”
With tears brimming in his eyes, Bang Yo said,
“If word suddenly spreads that bandits have appeared in Kunming, then of course we’ll be suspected… You think you can handle that devil bastard?”
At the words devil bastard, one face immediately flashed through their minds.
“A bastard even dogs won’t bite.”
“Worse than a marauding bandit!”
Just thinking about him made groans spill from their mouths.
They were bandits.
Bandits were thieves, and thieves were generally people who lacked morality and couldn’t adapt to ordinary life.
Anyone with a functioning brain, no matter how desperate their circumstances, wouldn’t become bandits. No, even if things got so bad they had to steal for a while, they wouldn’t decide to spend their lives as bandits forever.
In short, anyone who gathered with the intention of becoming bandits was not in his right mind.
Even by those standards, that Chung Myung bastard had gone too far. It was hard not to wonder what heaven had been thinking, unleashing a creature like that onto the world.
“……Then what do we do?”
“What do you mean what do we do? We sit tight and wait, that’s what!”
“What if we starve to death?”
“That’s better than getting beaten to death.”
“Uuuuuugh.”
The bandits let out one long, miserable sigh after another.
How had they ended up running into such a demon and getting dragged into this mess?
“Enough. In my opinion, that bastard would beat us to death while smiling if he got the chance.”
“What kind of monster is he, anyway? He looks so young… what the hell did he eat growing up?”
One of the bandits asked Bang Yo with a miserable face.
“But seriously, what do we do? Is there any way we can get out of here?”
“How would I know?”
“Vice Leader. If that bastard comes back while we’re like this, we’ll be put through every kind of hell before we’re beaten to death. Wouldn’t it be better to run now, even if it’s risky…?”
“How are we supposed to survive without internal energy?”
“Still, if we could just make it back to Sichuan, wouldn’t we have some way out?”
“Sichuan? Did you say Sichuan?”
“Yes. At least we have our territory there….”
“What a fool!”
Bang Yo shouted sharply.
“How many grudges do you think we’ve piled up in Sichuan? If news spreads that we’ve lost our internal energy and become ordinary people, do you think we’ll survive? There’ll be more than a hundred bastards chasing us with axes in their hands, trying to kill us!”
“Even so, if we ask the stronghold for protection….”
“Do you think the stronghold would protect us? The chief is the kind of man who’ll toss a healthy guy to a tiger just because one arm was chopped off and he can’t hold a spear properly. You think a man like that would protect us after we’ve lost our internal energy?”
No one could say anything.
Bang Yo clicked his tongue at his subordinates.
“Enough. Right now, the best thing we can do is just clutch our stomachs and hold out here. You think that bastard let us go for no reason? He’s probably praying we’ll cause some trouble. The moment we do, he’ll smash us to death.”
“You know him well.”
“Of course. It’s obvious. That vicious bastard’s thoughts are obvious as hell.”
“He doesn’t seem that vicious to me.”
“What are you talking about! I’ve never seen anyone that vicious in my life. If anything, bandits are kinder than that bastard—bandits! I’ve never once taken pride in my profession, but because of him I’ve somehow gained pride where I had none.”
“Ooohhh. Then that’s a very good thing.”
“Right. It’s really a very good thi—huh?”
Bang Yo slowly turned his head.
As his gaze moved, the first thing that came into view was the faces of his subordinates, all of them ashen.
Sensing something instinctively, Bang Yo’s own face began to drain of color.
“……”
At last, when his head turned fully toward the source of the voice, Bang Yo found a familiar face smiling brightly at him.
“……”
It felt as if the world had stopped.
Sweat streaming down his whole body, Bang Yo stared like a man who had seen a ghost, trembling as he opened his mouth.
“W-when did you get here…?”
“Just now.”
“Then the one I was just talking to was….”
“Yeah, me.”
“……”
Bang Yo’s face didn’t just turn pale; it began to go black with death. Seeing Chung Myung smiling at him, he was on the verge of convulsing.
“T-that thing I just said wasn’t, uh, my real feelings, i-it was….”
“It’s fine. It’s fine.”
Chung Myung reached out and patted Bang Yo on the shoulder.
“Things like that happen. Even the king gets cursed at when he’s not around. It’s not that big a deal.”
“I-I’m sorry.”
“I said it’s fine.”
Chung Myung smiled with satisfaction.
“I’m not such a stingy person. I’m a Daoist, after all. I understand everything. Things like that happen.”
Daoist?
This bastard was a Daoist?
What kind of bullshit is that? What Daoist in the world is like you?!
Bang Yo glared before he could stop himself.
Seeing that insolent look, Chung Myung only smiled more warmly.
“Do you know why a Daoist is called a Daoist?”
“N-no, I don’t.”
“A true Daoist is someone who can receive unpleasant words from others and still give back generosity. That’s what I learned from my sahyung. So I prepared a gift for you too.”
“Huh?”
Chung Myung strode to the back, came back carrying a huge bundle of something, and dropped it in front of Bang Yo.
“……What is this?”
Bang Yo tilted his head.
What Chung Myung had brought was hay.
But unless they were in some freezing place, what use was hay in this hot Yunnan…?
Watching Bang Yo’s confusion, Chung Myung smiled in deep satisfaction.
“As you can see, it’s hay.”
“I know that, but why…?”
“The best gift of all is something to eat.”
“……Pardon?”
“Eat it.”
“……”
Bang Yo stared blankly at Chung Myung.
Eat it?
The hay?
“H-how is a person supposed to eat this….”
“Person?”
Chung Myung, who had been squinting his eyes, slowly opened them wide.
“……”
A murderous light glinted in those black pupils.
“Who said there’s a person here? Not a horse?”
“……”
“Think carefully.”
“Huh?”
“Horses can be like that. It’s odd to get angry when horses gossip behind your back. But if you’re a person….”
Crack, crack, crack.
The pillar Chung Myung was gripping crushed in his hand.
“Then you’d better pay for running that mouth!”
“……”
“Will you eat and talk? Or not eat and still be a person?”
The answer came instantly.
“I’ll eat it!”
“We love hay!”
“Thank you! We can’t believe you thought of us like this!”
Chung Myung smiled again, satisfied.
“That’s right? Eat plenty.”
“Yes!”
Tears streamed endlessly from the eyes of the bandits clutching the hay.
This was the price of meeting the one man they should never have met.