Why Don’t You People Know That? (1)
Poooooo!
Pooooooo!
The sound of the horns spread far and wide across Beast Palace.
Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!
Then the drums began to find a rhythm of their own. Before long, all manner of instruments had joined in, pouring out a lively, infectious melody.
Baek Cheon stared blankly into space, swallowed whole by that splendid music.
This is driving me insane.
On both sides, Beast Palace disciples were playing their instruments with unrestrained enthusiasm. And in the plaza, where they had been standing like condemned prisoners only moments ago, dancers draped in flowing cloth were twirling and swaying.
Baek Cheon lowered his gaze slightly.
In front of him, dishes of every imaginable delicacy kept piling up. Each plate held strange foods he had never even heard of before, arranged so beautifully they seemed to beg to be eaten. He had never seen any of these dishes in his life, yet their colors and scents practically shouted—
We are incredible food!
A quick glance around told him his fellow disciples were just as dazed and spiritually absent as he was.
Yeah, that figures.
Even Baek Cheon himself had no idea how this situation had come about, so how could any of them possibly understand it?
Whether he knew their confusion or not, a boisterous laugh burst out beside them.
“Wahahahahahaha! Eat up! Eat plenty! I don’t know if Yunnan food suits your taste, but still!”
The Beast Palace Lord roared with laughter.
Every time he laughed, that thunderous voice seemed to shake Baek Cheon’s eardrums.
He half expected blood to start leaking from his ears, so he pressed his fingers against them. Thankfully, no blood came out.
“I’ve long wanted to visit Mount Hua once. I’ve simply endured this long because my body cannot travel to the Central Plains. And yet the disciples of Mount Hua, the heirs of the Plum Blossom Sword Saint, have come all the way here themselves! This is the happiest day I’ve had in recent memory! Hey! Bring out the liquor!”
“Yes, Palace Lord!”
“Bring out the Taoyuan Fragrance! Yes, the Taoyuan Fragrance! I must properly host these guests!”
“Yes, Palace Lord!”
Several Beast Palace disciples standing nearby hurried off at once.
The Palace Lord chuckled again and looked over the Mount Hua disciples with obvious satisfaction. But the Mount Hua disciples were feeling thoroughly uncomfortable.
I’m trembling so hard I can’t even meet his eyes.
Why is everything here so big? Even the people are huge.
Why is his head all the way up there?
Now that they were seated beside him, they could truly feel just how enormous the Beast Palace Lord was.
They had all built sturdy bodies through Chung Myung’s training, but sitting next to the Beast Palace Lord made them feel like starving three-year-olds with skin and bones for flesh.
“Hahahahahaha!”
Seeing them stiffen up, the Beast Palace Lord burst into another hearty laugh. The muscles rippling under his skin every time he laughed made it impossible to even imagine picking up chopsticks.
“You’re really going to eat all of this?”
Except for one person.
“Why, of course! We prepared all of it for you!”
“And that Taoyuan Fragrance stuff— is it good?”
“It is the finest liquor in Yunnan! It’s not something we simply serve to outsiders. Because only a small amount is brewed, only especially important people drink it on especially important occasions! You’ll probably taste the fragrance of heaven itself.”
“Heeheehee!”
Chung Myung laughed as though he were about to die of happiness. Then, utterly at ease, he lifted his chopsticks and began inhaling the food at absurd speed.
“Oh, this tastes really unique. It’s unfamiliar, but in a way that makes you crave more! Hurry up and try it, all of you!”
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
At a time like this?
They had thought they finally understood Chung Myung by now. But the Mount Hua disciples were forced to realize just how terribly mistaken they had been.
That bastard was, from the start, impossible to understand.
Meanwhile, the Taoyuan Fragrance the Beast Palace Lord had mentioned was brought out.
When five white jade bottles were placed before them, the Beast Palace Lord glared fiercely.
“You little brats! Didn’t I tell you to bring out the Taoyuan Fragrance?”
“T-this is the Taoyuan Fragrance, Palace Lord.”
“I told you to bring it all out! All of it! Are you trying to embarrass me in front of the heirs of the Great Plum Blossom Sword Saint? Do I need to cut off your head and drink your blood before you understand what I mean?”
…Then you’d die.
How are you supposed to come to your senses if you’re dead?
At the Palace Lord’s furious bellow, the Beast Palace disciple went pale and bowed repeatedly.
“I’ll bring it all at once, right away!”
“At once!”
“Yes, Palace Lord!”
The Beast Palace Lord shot an irritated look at the disciple as he ran off, then suddenly turned his head. A gentle smile had already returned to his face.
“Forgive me for showing such an embarrassing sight. I hope the guests from the Central Plains won’t think too poorly of Beast Palace.”
“Oh, no. What are you saying? You’ve given us food and drink. You’re all good people!”
“Hahaha! How refreshingly straightforward!”
“Heeheeheeheehee!”
The Mount Hua disciples stared at the two of them with dumbfounded expressions.
How do they get along so well?
They had seen Chung Myung talk with people from other sects many times, but this was the first time they’d seen him and someone else fit together so perfectly, as if they were old friends reunited after years apart.
“Now. Have a drink!”
The Beast Palace Lord lifted the Taoyuan Fragrance. The bottle was so large that an ordinary person would need both hands just to hold it, yet in his grip it looked like a child’s toy.
It was easy to see why he had been angry at only five bottles.
Glug, glug, glug.
He filled the Mount Hua disciples’ cups to the brim.
At once, a crisp, indescribable fragrance stabbed into their noses.
“Hahaha. Go on, drink.”
The Mount Hua disciples bowed lightly in thanks and downed the liquor.
Then their eyes went wide.
“Whoa…”
“Good heavens!”
Inside their mouths, an impossibly rich fragrance spread and bloomed.
“Well?”
“...The name Taoyuan Fragrance couldn’t be more fitting.”
“Wahahahahaha! Well said, young man! You know how to make a person happy!”
The Beast Palace Lord stretched out an arm and gave Baek Cheon a series of hearty slaps on the back.
“Ghk! Ughk!”
Baek Cheon’s body bent and twisted like a squid on a griddle.
The hand had been meant as a friendly pat, but from the receiving end it felt like his organs were about to shoot out through his mouth.
“Hahahahaha! Isn’t this a glorious day? To think I would meet the heirs of the Plum Blossom Sword Saint!”
Listening to him, Jo Gul cautiously spoke up.
“Um, but…”
“Hmm?”
“If you don’t mind me asking, is the Plum Blossom Sword Saint really that famous in Yunnan?”
“What?”
The Beast Palace Lord, who had been smiling so blissfully a moment ago, suddenly flashed a sharp blue glint in his eyes.
“In Yunnan? What do you mean, in Yunnan! The Plum Blossom Sword Saint is obviously a hero of the entire world!”
“...Pardon?”
When Jo Gul asked back in confusion, the Beast Palace Lord stared as if he couldn’t comprehend the question.
“Then does the Central Plains not revere the Five Heroes of Cheokma?”
“The Five Heroes of Cheokma? I’ve never even heard of—”
“What did you say!”
At last, an explosion of sound burst from the Palace Lord’s mouth. Everyone flinched and clamped their hands over their ears.
“How can the Central Plains not speak of and respect the Five Heroes of Cheokma! Without them, both Yunnan and the Central Plains would have been groaning beneath the feet of that cruel Demonic Sect! Do the people of the Central Plains not even know gratitude and duty?”
He shouted as though genuine anger had seized him. Under that pressure, the Mount Hua disciples went rigid as stone.
The aura was immense—truly mountain-like. Then Chung Myung, who had been savoring his liquor all this time, spoke with a shameless grin.
“Hey. Why’re you getting mad at the kids?”
“Hmm? Ah, right. Yes. No, I suppose there’s no reason to be angry at the heirs of the Plum Blossom Sword Saint!”
The Beast Palace Lord laughed boisterously once again. Then, suddenly turning serious, he went on.
“So you’re saying you don’t even know who the Five Heroes of Cheokma are?”
“Yes.”
“How can you not know of the five heroes who achieved the most brilliant feats in the war against the Demonic Sect? Then how exactly did you people think the Demonic Sect was defeated?”
“...The people of the Central Plains all joined hands and—”
“Joined hands? Joined hands my ass! Those bunch of crushed-toads bastards!”
“Easy there. Calm down.”
“Hm, that’s right. It’s not your fault.”
Baek Cheon squeezed his eyes shut.
There are people like Chung Myung in this world, and then there are people who are like Chung Myung. The problem was that both kinds were gathered in one place right now.
Is this hell?
At the very least, it felt like something similar.
After thinking for a moment, the Beast Palace Lord clicked his tongue.
“The Five Heroes of Cheokma refer to the five heroes who shone brightest in that dreadful war against the Demonic Sect. One of them was your ancestor, the Plum Blossom Sword Saint, and another was his dear friend, Dang Bo, the Dark Saint of the Sichuan Tang Family. As for the remaining three…”
He seemed about to say more, then frowned.
“Never mind.”
“Pardon?”
What was that supposed to mean all of a sudden?
“The term ‘Five Heroes of Cheokma’ was, in truth, nothing more than a name forced together by the lowlifes of the martial world who envied the Plum Blossom Sword Saint’s brilliant accomplishments and tried to stuff in others who weren’t even fit to lick his boots. So you need only remember one thing!”
The Beast Palace Lord said this with complete conviction.
“The Plum Blossom Sword Saint defeated the Demonic Sect!”
A chill raced over the bodies of the Mount Hua disciples. They even began to tremble.
They had never imagined they would hear such words anywhere, much less outside Mount Hua. No—come to think of it, they had never even heard such words inside Mount Hua.
Just as an overwhelming surge of emotion was about to rise in them—
“Ahem!”
“……”
Baek Cheon tilted his head.
What?
Why is that guy sticking out his chest? Huh? And what’s with that self-satisfied look?
Unaware of Chung Myung’s change, the other disciples kept their attention fixed on the Beast Palace Lord and asked,
“The Plum Blossom Sword Saint, you say?”
“You truly knew nothing of him?”
“We heard he was one of the foremost experts of the age and that he played a tremendous role in the war against the Demonic Sect. But that much…?”
“What! One of the foremost experts? You foolish brat!”
The Beast Palace Lord’s eyes widened.
“What lunatic would dare describe the Plum Blossom Sword Saint that way? He was the Absolute Master of his era! Even the Demonic Sect fled at the mere mention of the Plum Blossom Sword Saint’s name! And you dare call him something like that?”
“Ahem!”
“……”
Chung Myung, your neck is going to snap.
And why do you keep doing that?
“The whole world was saved by him! Even our Yunnan was the same! When the vile claws of that brutal Demonic Sect reached toward Yunnan, those damn people of the Central Plains who had acted so friendly until then suddenly changed their tune and turned their backs on us. Because of that, we were brought right to the edge of extermination! But thanks to the Plum Blossom Sword Saint striking at their rear, the Demonic Sect in Yunnan was forced back toward the Central Plains!”
“Ah…”
Baek Cheon kept nodding.
Hearing that story, he could understand both the hostility toward people from the Central Plains and the warmth toward the Plum Blossom Sword Saint.
“And that wasn’t all! When the Demonic Sect tried to form a separate force and completely cleanse Yunnan, the one who came all the way to Sichuan and slaughtered every last one of them was that very same great Plum Blossom Sword Saint! He protected Yunnan for us!”
“Ooooh!”
“If it weren’t for him, Beast Palace would have been destroyed. So how could he not be our benefactor? To think such a saint appeared among those treacherous, despicable people of the Central Plains—like a dragon rising from a shallow stream!”
“Ah, so that’s why…”
“Yes! That’s why Beast Palace built a shrine to the Plum Blossom Sword Saint and holds memorial rites for him every year. If you don’t know gratitude, you’re less than a worm! He cherished our Yunnan so dearly—how could we ever forget such boundless kindness?”
Listening to the Beast Palace Lord praise him, Chung Myung smiled with visible satisfaction.
I don’t understand a single damn word he’s saying.
All he’d done was fight when there was fighting to be done, and rush over to smash those Demonic Sect bastards when someone said they were there.
What?
He cherished Yunnan?
Well… if you say so, sure, I guess.
It seemed some serious misunderstanding had sprung up, but there was no need to correct it, was there?
“Even when he protected Yunnan, I heard the Central Plains people objected to him coming all the way to Sichuan! Keuhhhh. If he hadn’t loved the people of Yunnan, how could he have ignored those objections and come anyway?”
Just speaking of it seemed to stir intense emotion, and the Beast Palace Lord dabbed at the corners of his eyes, which was bizarrely inappropriate for such a massive body.
Exclamations burst from the Mount Hua disciples as well.
“Ah… so that happened.”
“As expected of the Plum Blossom Sword Saint!”
Only Chung Myung tilted his head in confusion.
What is he talking about?
When did I ever—
Ah?
- Daoist big brother! Those bastards showed up in Sichuan!
- Let’s go! We’ll go smash every one of their heads in!
- But the command staff is telling us not to go.
- Really? Then we should go even more! Who the hell are those rude bastards ordering around? Let’s go!
- Yes!
...Oh.
So that’s how it turned out?
Hahahahaha.
Yep. People really do need to keep their hearts clean.
The Beast Palace Lord laughed heartily and said, “He is certainly someone worthy of being revered as a saint, but he is also someone who must be respected as a warrior! His sword reached the heights of heaven, and even those vile Demonic Sect monsters trembled before it. His deeds are so dazzling that I could not possibly list them all with mere words.”
“Ahem, ahem, ahemmm!”
“……”
Baek Cheon turned his head with a flat expression and looked at Chung Myung.
“The Plum Blossom Sword Saint—”
“Kyaaa!”
“—was truly dazzling!”
“Kihihihihi!”
“We must never forget his grace—”
“Kya-kya-kya!”
“……”
Has he lost his mind?
No, he’d always been crazy, but now he looked completely and utterly gone.
Every time praise for the Plum Blossom Sword Saint came up, Chung Myung twisted his body in obvious delight.
“So how could I possibly fail to properly host the heirs of the Plum Blossom Sword Saint? You are the only Central Plains people who can be guests in this Yunnan! So rest well and enjoy yourselves! Yunnan welcomes you!”
The Beast Palace Lord shouted loudly.
“What are you all waiting for? Eat and drink! I permit it! Our honored guests have arrived!”
“Yes, Palace Lord!”
As the hall erupted into bustle, Chung Myung smiled contentedly.
Kyaa. So there really was someone around who recognized me.
As expected, one should live honorably.
Right, Sect Leader Senior Brother?
Heeheeheeheehee!