Panties & Strawberry Milk with a Dragon
"Aigoo, my back."
My lower back was throbbing from this hike that wasn't in my stars. In my right hand dangled a black convenience store bag. Inside it? Disposable panties and a pink carton of strawberry milk. I'd never known convenience stores sold women's panties until now. And... I really wish I hadn't found out. Especially not like this.
What must they think of a guy sweating bullets in broad daylight, schlepping down from the mountainside to buy women's underwear? I could still vividly picture it—the clerk's suspicious glare, that look of contempt. I barely held back from blurting out some lame lie about it being for my girlfriend. To think I'd feel even more humiliated buying these than the first time I bought condoms...
"Tsk, it's not like you're gonna die without panties. What a pain."
There was a reason I endured this humiliation, trekking back down the mountainside and now climbing up again. Our client—our dear patron, the self-proclaimed great and noble Red Dragon. Red Wing had begged me earnestly.
…
"Eek... eek?"
"Eek?"
"It's gross! Th-this body can't fly like this!"
"...So what?"
"This body's agent...! Sprint down to the convenience store at the base right now and buy some panties!"
"That's an order?"
"Buy them...?"
"Sigh, just wait here a sec. You're not a kid, you know."
"This body is not a kid!!"
"That's what I said!! Just dry those panties properly."
…
That wholesome exchange had gone down. Plus, there was an extra command—no, earnest plea—for some organic whatever strawberry milk. Not a kid, my ass, and strawberry milk...
"I'm back."
I pushed through the thick underbrush and returned to the pavilion clearing.
"Oh, you tidied up nicely."
"Hmph! Of course!"
With a proud snort, a puff of blue flame flickered from her nostrils. Behind Red Wing, the dilapidated pavilion—half-smashed by her fist—had been neatly sorted. Though it had lost all resemblance to a bench. Just a tidy stack of logs, like construction lumber.
"Here. Your fresh panties, as requested."
"...T-turn around for a sec! If you peek, this body will bite your skull off!"
"Ah, sure. Not like there's much to see anyway..."
"I can hear you!!!"
Turning my back on her noisy yowling, I pulled the pink strawberry milk from the bag. Even that short hike had parched my throat. I was about to stab in the straw for a cool sip when flashy print on the carton caught my eye.
[Organic Strawberries 100%]
[Our Child's Nutritional Snack]
[Grow Taller Strawberry Milk]
"Pfft! 'Our Child's Nutritional Snack,' 'Grow Taller Strawberry Milk'?"
I stifled a chuckle, muttering to myself as I brought the straw to my lips.
*Slurp.*
The sweet, rich strawberry flavor washed refreshingly through my mouth alongside the smooth milk. Pretty damn good for convenience store fare.
"Slurp... Still got a ways to go?"
"Al-most done! A lady has many details to attend to when dressing... Wait! What's that in your mouth?!"
"Mm... 'Our Child's Nutritional Snack'? 'Grow Taller Strawberry Milk'?"
"That's mine!!"
Red Wing leaped up, flapping her wings once before snatching the pink carton from my hand like a hawk.
"Y-you insolent fool! How dare you touch a dragon's tribute first!"
"Hey, I bought it with my money. You just sat there—least you could do is share some strawberry milk!"
"Hmph! That's entirely separate from this!"
Red Wing huffed indignantly, then squeezed her eyes shut and sucked on the straw I'd just used.
*Slurrrp! Crunch!*
In a mere two seconds, the 500ml carton crumpled like a vacuum seal. Human notions like indirect kisses apparently couldn't compete with a dragon's appetite—no, her sugar craving. Well, after the panty fiasco right in front of her, what was one straw?
"All done? Let's head back then."
"Yeah! But... where to?"
"Where else? The Hero Employment Support Center first."
"Hmph, got it!"
Red Wing snorted majestically, then abruptly planted herself in front of me. She spread her massive wings wide, arms outstretched, knees slightly bent—like a taxi driver confirming the destination.
"Hey, hop on."
"...What?"
"Can't you tell? No need to walk when you can fly! Jump into this body's arms already!"
She cocked her chin arrogantly with a smug grin. Tiny frame in a bikini top and leather jacket—head shorter than me, yet demanding a princess carry.
Hm... Not that I minded. The last flight felt pretty safe. Like a rollercoaster?
I hopped into her arms. "Yah-ho! Let's go, sis."
"S-sis?! This body is female!"
"Dragons don't have gender, right?"
"...E-even so, you're a guy! You can't call this body 'sis'!!"
She yelled, face flushing red. Fun to tease, but drag it out too long and the center chief might kick my shins.
"Fine, just don't drop me. Oh, right. Grab that before takeoff."
"Huh? That?"
I nodded toward the scrap metal heap the villain proxy operator had ditched in his escape. The mana shield generator, half-wrecked and sparking from Red Wing's punch.
"Why that junk? It's not even worth this body's toenail."
"Dunno. Might come in handy. Bugs me a bit. Anyway, got it? Let's roll."
…
*Thud!*
Soon, a heavy landing shook us as Red Wing's feet hit solid concrete. My tail-blindfold loosened, revealing the familiar parking lot in front of the district office's Hero Employment Support Center.
"Whew, thanks. Driver."
"This body isn't a taxi driver!!"
I stumbled out of her arms, and the center's automatic doors slid open. Out popped a familiar bulldog face: Center Chief Kim Nam-bok.
"Ban Sin-u!! Where the hell you been wandering?!"
The chief stormed over, fuming. His eyes flicked to the horned girl beside me and the scrap dangling from her tail—then he clutched his neck.
"What mess did you make this time...!"
"Chief, all in a day's work."
"You, you... Always the same excuse...!! Every client you bring is...!!"
He glanced at Red Wing standing proudly beside me and swallowed his words.
"A-anyway! You're here on Teacher Park's recommendation, so we're accommodating...! But keep it quiet, got it? Quiet!"
"...Who else manages the rowdy heroes if not me? You with no euneng, Chief? Or the civilian staff?"
"That's why I keep saying, screen your clients... There are safe heroes who don't cause trouble. Right?"
"Ah, whatever. I'm heading out on field work today. Just clock me out at quitting time."
"Wh-what?! You can't just—!!"
I hopped back into Red Wing's arms as she gawked at our exchange.
"Sis, go."
"Huh?"
"Not sis. Fly, sis."
She blinked between me and the chief, then spread her wings in confusion.
"Hey! Ban Sin-u!! You little shit!!! Have a written apology ready by morning!!!!"
With flapping wings, the chief's desperate yell and deep sigh faded into the distance.
High in the sky, Red Wing tilted her head. "What was that about?"
"Sigh, office life. It's all like that."
"Hmm, this body doesn't know much about jobs, but that didn't seem normal..."
Getting called abnormal by her stung my pride.
"Whatever. Fly the way I say. We'll talk more there. Better stay away from the center today."
…
About ten minutes of slow directional tweaks later, we reached a rundown villa district on Seoul's outskirts.
"Th-this place...?"
"My house. Your horns and tail are too conspicuous—no better spot."
"Eek...!"
Red Wing clutched her flat chest with both arms, glaring. Her huge tail even wrapped around her belly.
"Not interested in your body, so chill. Plus, family's home...? What do you take me for."
"...Haha! Just kidding! This body trusts you... I mean, Sin-u!"
"Sudden name drop...? Anyway, follow me. No trouble at my place."
"Naturally! This body knows etiquette!"
I flung open the creaky front door.
"Si-yeon. I'm home."
My pajama-clad little sister, Ban Si-yeon, sprawled on the living room couch watching TV, whipped her head around.
"Oppa? Hmm? Who's the horned kid behind you??"
"Gah! Kid? Who you calling—!!"
Red Wing bristled and stepped forward, then froze. Her beast-like slit pupils quivered at Si-yeon, sniffing the air.
"...Wh-what? This house... why's the air so heavy?"
"Rude much? Sure, the foundation's low, but it's not a basement."
"This body didn't say basement! The mana flow's clogged, like I can't breathe..."
"Cut the nonsense and follow. Si-yeon, got stuff to do downstairs. Order dinner yourself."
"Yup. On your card?"
I dragged the stiff Red Wing inside to the tightly shut basement door. Punching the code, the heavy soundproof steel door ground open with a click. Cool basement air rushed out.
"Phew! The basement air feels lighter! Flicking the switch as we descended lit up a messy scene.
"Whoa? Wh-what is all this?"
Red Wing's jaw dropped slightly.
Beyond the door: a musty space patched with haphazard soundproofing foam. In one corner, a sandbag repaired with duct tape. Scattered cheap wooden dummies, chipped and cracked. The wall drew the eye most— crammed with memos and clippings. Heroes' and villains' weaknesses, combat patterns, mana wavelengths, movement predictions, all crudely intertwined.
Just a talentless exam-taker's pathetic study den.
"Don't stare. Embarrassing."
I dumped the scrap device in a corner and sat at the central desk chair.
"You naturals wouldn't get it... Just a mortal's futile flailing."
"Futile...?"
"My euneng's zero physical power—trash-tier. Thought cramming knowledge and grinding my body might make me a usable hero. All pointless once Lumion debuted."
I shrugged and powered up the three monitors. The old PC's fans whirred, loading a vast database. Years of scouring the net and libraries to make my Materialization of Imagination somewhat viable.
"Enough chit-chat. Time for real planning."
Mouse in hand, monster images flashed across the screens.
"You're a dragon, right? I thought of a worthy foe. Thirteen years ago, at Jagalchi Market in Busan, a rift beast emerged."
"Jagalchi Market? Food? This body loves fish!"
"Food...? Kinda, cephalopod-related."
"Cephalopod?"
I pointed triumphantly at the screen's octopus-squid hybrid behemoth.
"Kaiju showdown! That's our pick!"