Chapter 24: Karma (5)
"...Congratulations on a great performance. I enjoyed it. Please take this."
The first day I saw him, I thought he was a reporter. Hardly any men approached me after I became an adult, so I assumed he was one trying to cover the youngest daughter of Baekil Group. What did it mean, handing me a rose the same color as my white hair? I thought it was a pretty novel approach for a young reporter. But I had no intention of granting an interview.
I made it obvious I didn't want to talk and tried to leave, but he grabbed me.
"...I'll look forward to your next performance."
I figured he was a reporter without much guts. I didn't realize he wasn't a reporter until later. Normally, people introduce their agency and name, but every time there was a performance, he was always standing in the same spot with the same flowers, waiting for me—yet he never once said his own name. Just congratulations, a single flower, a short comment on the show, and then he'd let me go without ever holding me back.
What a strange guy, I thought.
For weeks during the run of shows, he never missed a single one, always waiting in that same spot. Even now, I still don't know his name or who he is. I'm certain he's not a reporter anymore. He never carried a recorder, mic, or camera. He probably doesn't even know this is my final performance next week and will keep waiting anyway.
I felt a little sorry for him and had my first real conversation with him.
"The moves you showed today were the most beautiful of all the performances so far."
He always complimented me, but that day, his praise felt strangely sweet somehow. Like a reward for all my hard work up to now. I thought I'd grown numb to compliments, but his sincere words really hit home. I desperately hid my expression and told him it was my last show. He seemed a bit surprised but said he'd come again and let me go.
After the final performance, lots of people said they'd worked hard, but it didn't really touch me. On my way to see him waiting, my steps quickened just a little.
"Please take this." He said he'd enjoyed today's show too and handed me a bouquet of white roses. A quick glance showed one white rose for every performance I'd done. Seeing them brought back all those nights I'd stayed up practicing. Just as my emotions started welling up, he handed me his business card.
"I'm Team Leader Kim Cho-in from CG Entertainment."
"I've come to scout Ms. Baek Ga-eun."
I was floored. After all that waiting, it was for scouting...? I was dumbfounded at first, but his persistence was admirable, so I decided to hear him out. I sat him down at my usual café and listened to his pitch. He seemed so clueless and brazen—I wanted to toy with him a bit. When I brushed him off, his face fell like the world was ending, then he desperately tried to persuade me. It was kinda cute.
"In my eyes, you stood out more than the prima donna."
If anyone else had said it, I'd have dismissed it as flattery, but his compliments were different. They almost made me believe I'd really shone brighter than the prima donna.
As I listened to him, a thought suddenly struck me.
...What if I stood by his side and shone even brighter? Would he give me even sweeter praise?
I was swayed for a moment, enchanted by his words, but unfortunately, I was the youngest daughter of Baekil Group, Baek Ga-eun. It wasn't a position where I could just casually become an entertainer. I swallowed my regrets and turned down his offer, but he grabbed me again.
"...Do you know the actress Lee Ji-yeon by any chance? She's my childhood friend."
Lee Ji-yeon... I knew of her. I'd grown up listening to her songs when I was younger, and lately I'd watched her movies and dramas. He proudly brought her up, which irritated me for some reason—coming from his mouth, praise for another woman felt off. But hearing I could achieve success like her softened my mood a bit. He even declared he'd make me a success within a year. When he said he'd take responsibility and to trust him, I wavered again.
I almost said yes and followed him, but I pulled myself together, asked for time to think, and parted ways.
A few days later, I called him to the villa and we drank. In vino veritas—alcohol reveals true intentions. It was a lesson my grandfather had taught me since I was little. He nervously sipped the wine; he didn't seem used to it. It took emptying a few bottles before his eyes started to glaze over. I'd picked high-proof wines, but he held his own pretty well. Finally, the last bottle ran dry. When I brought a new one, he was fidgeting and checking his phone.
He glanced at me and hung up. It felt good that he'd cut the call for my sake, but then it rang again. In the end, he answered right there, and a familiar voice leaked from the phone.
It was Lee Ji-yeon.
I'd expected something between them, but seeing his reaction, it didn't seem like a great relationship—which oddly put my mind at ease. Wanting to see his true feelings, I quickly downed my glass. He was slurring badly from the booze, but his determination to put me on stage seemed genuine. I accepted his proposal.
A few days later, on the day we signed the contract and toured the company, I met Lee Ji-yeon and a trainee named Hyeon Ha-yeon. Both had been brought in by him personally. Seeing the real Lee Ji-yeon behind her nice-girl image was refreshing. When she acted wary of me, I could roughly picture their relationship. It was amusing to see him uncomfortable around her.
Hyeon Ha-yeon had a similar image to Lee Ji-yeon, but her giggling and acting chummy rubbed me the wrong way.
*
As practice was wrapping up, I got a call from Shin Team Leader, my grandfather's secretary. She'd brought him to the study. Grandfather was clearly sizing him up over drinks. He'd probably already dug into every little detail about Kim Cho-in. That was fine. But Grandfather's drinking style was brutal. Even I thought he was a monster, so I worried about him drinking with Grandfather and hurriedly called a car to head home.
The moment I arrived, I rushed up to the second-floor study. No answer when I knocked, so I barged in. Empty whiskey bottles were rolling around—they must've drunk a ton. The room reeked of alcohol after hours of it. He'd probably filled glasses to the brim and downed them in one go like an idiot.
After grilling Grandfather, the story I heard was absurd. A billion won per bottle... and not even to him, but as an investment in the company. Had age finally addled his brain? Kim Cho-in agreeing to such ridiculous terms was a problem too. But deep down, thinking he'd thrown his body into the fire for me made me feel a little good.
I tried dragging out the wasted man, but he kept looking back, reluctant to leave the bet, so I smacked his arm. No reaction—he was so drunk his senses were numb. I heard Grandfather say we'd talk tomorrow and hauled him out of the study.
"Where's that... nice smell coming from...?"
He suddenly started sniffing around, which was ridiculous. I had to dump the thoroughly drunk guy in an empty room, but none came to mind. Shin Team Leader had probably prepared one, but I didn't want to just abandon someone who'd gotten this wasted for my sake.
"It smells... so good from you... Ga-eun."
I hadn't even sprayed perfume, but he insisted I smelled good and shoved his nose close, sniffing. If it's that great, sniff all you want, I thought, and dragged him to my room, tossing him on the bed.
*
How long had it been since he passed out mumbling nonsense like a baby?
"...The king... Ga-eun..."
"...Goddess..."
He was drunkenly rambling incomprehensibly while staring at me, and it was kinda cute, so I played along. As I neatly brushed back his fallen bangs, the situation suddenly felt embarrassing. Kim Cho-in was asleep in my bed. My face heated up. My heart raced; I tried to calm it, but seeing him made it pound harder.
He pulled the blanket over his face and started sniffing. Realizing the scent he'd been after was my natural body smell made me even more embarrassed. My racing heartbeat echoed in my ears. He'd probably blacked out. His nearly closed eyes, his usual stiff speech forgotten—he was bantering casually, sniffing my scent, deeply inhaling. Clearly not in his right mind from the alcohol.
His hair fell over his forehead again. I reached to fix it, and he turned his head to follow my hand. When I twisted my hand the other way, his head followed. After two or three times, I realized he was tracking my hand. Just sitting by him, taking care of him—it sent a strange thrill of taboo through my chest.
...Can't have anyone coming in and waking him...
Click.
I rationalized it that way and locked the door. Now, unless I called, it was just Kim Cho-in and me in this room. My heartbeat thrummed in my head. I pulled up the chair by the bed beside him. Just in case, I waved my hand in front of his closed eyes—no reaction. Worried the bright light might wake him, I used the remote to turn off the main lamp, leaving only a small mood light.
I sat beside him for a long time, watching him sleep. My fluttering heart finally calmed. He hadn't moved once. That clueless guy suddenly seemed infuriating.
"Mm..."
I poked his cheek, and he let out a small groan. It was cute, so I poked a few more times, and he turned his head away. I held out the back of my hand for him to sniff, and he turned toward it again. Seeing this side of the usually rigid man felt fresh. Teasing him more, he turned his head while sleep-talking.
"...Ji-yeon... don't..."
His cracked voice called for Lee Ji-yeon. From what I'd learned, they'd dated after her debut but broken up. But they still hung out closely, so it probably wasn't a bad split. It soured my mood. As adults who'd dated for years, they'd seen everything of each other. Just days ago, he'd dragged Hyeon Ha-yeon around from morning, bought booze, gone home, then Lee Ji-yeon entered his place and didn't leave until the next evening.
Was it okay for my manager to chase women so indiscriminately? Instead of focusing on me to raise me up ASAP, he wasted time fooling around with others. It pissed me off. Did he know the meaning of the white roses he'd gifted me? Respect, innocence, charm, purity. He gave those to me while sleeping around—that was disgusting.
His first entertainer, first love, first experience—all taken by Lee Ji-yeon. He wasn't pure or innocent. What if I'd been close to him instead? If I'd been born a few years earlier and by his side, would it have been me entering his room that night, not her?
My gritted lips twitched. Imagining her ravishing those soft lips made my stomach churn. Days ago, he'd panicked about a mosquito bite and covered it—that was surely her mark. Peeking under the blanket, a faint trace still lingered.
"Urk..."
I pictured her in his arms, leaving marks. Revolting. Now my heart raced with anger at him. Chasing any woman had ensnared him with someone like Lee Ji-yeon. I'd never been with a man once. The only hands I'd held were family. I was pure. You clean dirty things with something clean. It gets stained, but the object ends up spotless. I didn't want to torment him in his sleep, but I turned his head straight and kissed him.
"Haa... haa..."
My breath came short. I was cleaning his lips, but for me, it was my first kiss. We weren't dating, but I couldn't allow my manager to wander around soiled. I kissed him briefly again. As I pulled back slightly, he parted his lips a little.
I startled and checked his eyes—they were still closed. Dreaming maybe? Seeing him sleep with his mouth open, I got a sense of what he usually got up to. It wasn't just his lips that were dirty. Lightning flashed in my mind. His tightly shut eyes, sweetly exhaling nose, slightly parted lips, twitching tongue—this wasn't all of him.
...The dirty parts need cleaning. But he might wake.
As I thought of a way, I remembered the sleeping pills I'd kept from before. I'd gotten them for insomnia from stress during reporter harassment—never thought they'd be used like this. Baekil Pharma's sleep inducers were so potent they were rarely prescribed. One pill, and he wouldn't wake till morning. It was just 1 a.m.—plenty of time to clean his filth.
I rummaged through the box in my room and found a few pills left. Alcohol and pills were like rat poison, but no choice. He'd dirtied himself fooling around—that was his sin.