Chapter 17: Mental Preparation (1)
[Hey, did you hear? The Hero is coming to our village!]
[You... why... What? You dumped the Hero!?]
[Al-already 5th Circle? ...Alright! Time for me to train too!]
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[We sincerely congratulate you on finally ascending to the top of the Mage Tower. ...Congratulations.]
[This Sabbath service was a bit long, right?]
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[Saintess, the moon has risen by your bedside. You should retire for the night. ...Even if you say that, I can't.]
[Princess! You mustn't! If His Majesty the Emperor finds out, it'll be a disaster!]
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[Your Majesty, it's time you maintained the dignity befitting an emperor...]
[...Got another business card?]
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[...Congratulations.]
"Haa... I thought I was gonna die from the nerves..."
It had been a while since I'd last met the goddess. Lately, with all the mental stress piling up, I'd taken a break from seeing her. My body wasn't physically tired, but constantly viewing those exhausting records had worn me down mentally. They say seeing cruel scenes scars the brain...
...My brain must've been chopped to pieces by now.
Just yesterday afternoon, Baek Ga-eun had finally joined CG Entertainment. It had already been five days since that endless binge-drinking session with her that kept us up all night. In the meantime, I'd passed her profile to CEO Choi Kang.
...It was an after-action report, but...
'...Who?'
'Baek Ga-eun, granddaughter of the Baekil Group chairman...'
'P-profile! Gimme!'
CEO Choi Kang, who always exuded calm charisma, had his expression change by the second as he flipped through her profile—it was a sight to behold.
He freaked out, insisting we had to sign her no matter what, hugged me tight, and dragged me to an expensive steakhouse to shower me with praise. On the day she arrived, he couldn't stop grinning all day, twitching at the corners of his mouth as he personally attended to her with utmost care.
But moments later, he looked like death warmed over.
'...I'd like Kim Cho-in as my dedicated manager.'
'Well... um... managers are...'
'If you assign Kim Cho-in, I'd be fine with three years?'
'Th-three years...'
The CEO gulped hard at her proposal, then suddenly squeezed his eyes shut as if remembering something, his face turning utterly forlorn.
'...I'm sorry, but a dedicated manager isn't possible...'
'...Fine, then how about assigning him to me as much as possible?'
'Oh, of course! That's a given! This guy's a bit busy, but he's always ready to assist our Ga-eun anytime!'
'...That punk?'
'Y-yes...'
Caught off guard by the CEO's blazing gaze, I stupidly mumbled a response and ended up as her 'de facto' manager.
Baek Ga-eun had casually swung the agency president around like a toy, saying we'd lock in two years first and negotiate slowly later—her dignity reminded me of the Demon King I'd once seen in the past. I later learned Baekil Group's policy was insanely generous. Their heirs got the conglomerate's full backing, so the CEO's reaction made sense.
"...So, how much power have you recovered this time?"
[This time, even greater interference is possible.]
After recruiting Hyeon Ha-yeon, the goddess had gained the ability to intervene in the past and view records from others' perspectives. There were way more gruesome scenes, but it had still helped.
So this time...?
[...Do you know what a status window is...?]
"...Huh? Status window? For real?"
Status window—just the name alone made my heart race. Visualizing the world's info as graphics only I could see, getting a leg up and succeeding wildly... With a status window, breaking this horrific curse would be so much easier!
Brimming with excitement, I urged the goddess on, but her response was disappointing.
[...Due to the evil god's curse, that level of manifestation is impossible...]
"Haa... Figures..."
[But information from worlds that have already ended is possible.]
"...Huh?"
[Information changes moment by moment—that's the way of the world. Thus, interfering with reality is impossible for me now.]
[But for information from the past, where beginning and end are set, my current power is sufficient.]
Until now, I'd gathered info by repeating records from my perspective and others'. For someone like me who only got visual data, it was a lifeline. And if the evil god's curse lifted and the goddess regained her power, maybe a real-time status window in this world... That hope had sparked.
"...Let's try it right now!"
[...]
The warm light pouring from the goddess's hand felt even cozier than before. My consciousness floated up and snapped away.
...At that moment, I had no idea how terrifying a status window truly was.
"Guide, if I walk even a little further, I'm gonna lose it—are you sure?"
It was the first day I'd seen the Hero's past. The status window for Hyeon Ha-yeon, who called me "Guide," didn't have much info.
(...Annoyed)
I thought the status window was pretty basic, but the goddess said her power was still too weak; the limit was simply displaying her surface thoughts.
"Hey, young man! Tools are dirt cheap right now! Chance to score points with your girlfriend!"
"...Ignore them, Guide. Don't even glance at those creepy old pervs..."
It was the scene where we pretended to be a couple on a date, arms linked as camouflage. The Hero's mental state was mostly short phrases.
(...A couple? Embarrassing)
Soon, my past self gave her the ring as a gift, and the scene passed where she teared up, vowing to protect me. The Hero's status window began to fluctuate wildly. The bigger her emotions grew, the more detailed the mental state display became.
Another scene. Monsters swarming the village, her silhouette against the sunset as she slipped on the ring—it was straight out of a movie.
(Can't let Guide get hurt... I have to cut them all down... I... have to protect Guide... I...)
"I'll protect you, so wait here?"
If I hadn't seen her inner thoughts, it would've been even cooler.
"Guide, snap out of it!!"
...That scene.
"A-are you okay? Does it hurt bad? S-sorry, I... I f-fucked up..."
Her trembling voice and stammering—she was panicking over my collapsed form. Her status window revealed her mental state.
(My fault... I messed up... Couldn't clear them properly... Guide... must hurt so much... Is he okay? Sorry I hurt him... Don't hurt... Sorry... My fault... Forgive me...)
"I-I'll... protect you... Just wait a bit..."
(He said he's okay... But is he really...? I need to apologize... These pieces of trash... This trash...)
With monstrous strength, she pulverized corpses into minced meat, then beheaded the barely surviving ones—her mental state was horrific.
(Trash... trash... trash... trash... So much trash...)
Even as she slaughtered dozens, hundreds of lives, to the Hero's eyes, they weren't lives—they were rolling trash. She wasn't murdering people; she was cleaning up the 'trash' that had harmed me.
Her status window didn't stop even as she hacked through them.
(Trash... trash... trash... trash... So much trash... If I don't do it right... If I mess up again, he won't forgive me... Sorry... I'm sorry...)
It stretched endlessly, filling the world—resentment toward the trash that hurt me, self-blame for failing to protect properly, apologies to me.
Finally, having 'cleaned up,' the blood-soaked Hero approached me. The moment a splatter of blood hit my cheek from her, her mental state surged again.
(Dirty... dirty... dirty... dirty... dirty... dirty...)
The status window exploded, filling my vision in an instant. Her endlessly filthy, grotesque heart was etched bare.
My vision spun, heart pounding.
...I'd faced the abyss.
[...Are you alright?]
"Urk..."
Since it was a dream, no vomit came, but the goddess's comforting touch felt warm as I dry-heaved.
[...Did you feel how the Hero thinks of you?]
"Hng..."
I couldn't properly respond to the goddess. The Hero had started with ordinary affection, but her obsession dragged her into deeper, darker depths.
The Hero's love was genuine and pure. It was just tainted by horrific obsession.
Accepting that terribly pure love was too much.
I could easily imagine the polite, kind Hyeon Ha-yeon smashing people's necks.
...If I slipped up, she might really kill everyone.
The goddess waited silently as I caught my breath. As I lay on the floor sorting my thoughts, she spoke to me.
[...Shall we view the Demon King's past as well?]
"...Give me a bit to rest..."
...I wasn't ready to face the Demon King's heart yet.