Awakening

My eyes snap open.

Silence.

…Ah, hell.

Another army dream.

I stay where I am, sprawled on the mattress, and thumb my phone awake. 5:20 a.m. Yeah. Army dream, again. The mattress is soaked through. Scared the living hell out of me.

While my head's still half gone, I get up and head for the fridge. I reach out and close on nothing.

Haa…

I went for it with my right arm, out of habit. It's been years since I became a one-armed man, but in a daze like this the right one still tries to go. I send the left instead—the one that's used to the job by now—and pull the door open.

Half-finished soju. A stack of beer cans. I grab the water bottle I never quite emptied and drink it down in long, noisy gulps.

"Khah…"

Quiet. Nothing but the occasional bird. Pale dawn light shoulders through the blinds and fills the room.

Feels like I'm still dreaming. Might as well go finish it, then.

I let out a long breath and drift back toward the bed. Morning, evening—doesn't matter. I'm an unemployed bum with nowhere to be.

"Huk!"

I jolt awake from another nightmare. Today's going to be a bad one, isn't it…

What time is it. Two in the afternoon. I want to say I got up at a decent hour. There is no decent hour. Not for a NEET.

I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠don't even sit up. I just open my eyes and tap into YouTube.

It's all hunter talk. Fine, maybe that's on me for searching the subject a few times. Still. What a piece-of-shit algorithm. I look it up a handful of times and the whole feed gets wallpapered with hunter content.

The funny part is I clicked every single one that popped up.

Terrifying algorithm…

It's been five years already since the world went like this.

I used to serve in special forces. I'd wanted it since I was a kid—those human weapons who could run any firearm they picked up, who could master any tool you put in their hands, and who spent that strength on something as clean as defending the country. I respected men like that, and I worked for it. The work paid off. I got in.

If you asked me whether I was ever disappointed, of course I was. I could live with it, though. I had the pride of being special forces, and for a while that was enough.

Then the deployment orders came. A conflict zone in the Middle East. And I became a one-armed man.

Five years ago, the Towers appeared, and Gates tore open all over the world. I lost my right arm trying to protect a comrade. Discharge. Parents coming to visit me in the hospital. A car accident. Dead. Orphan.

Unemployed. NEET. Orphan. One-armed. What a glittering resume.

Haa……. I should at least prep for interviews.

Rejected again. Guess a one-armed guy can't even swing a convenience-store gig. The money I had put away is just about gone. I really do have to do something now. But what, exactly, when the world doesn't want me?

The gloom starts creeping in.

No. I give my head a hard shake. I am not sliding back into being a hikikomori.

I sit down on a bench and wake my phone. Thing number one a one-armed man can still do: a cute-girl gacha collector.

Today's the day. The rate-up I've been waiting for, and waiting for, and waiting for. Every jewel I clenched my teeth and scraped together as a F2P player… One ten-pull. That's all I need to feel human again. Just once. Please.

GAZUA!!!!

Gazua, my ass.

Again. Again. Again. Pity? Again?! Seventy-nine jewels left. I had to slam into hard pity just to scrape her out of the banner. I'm actually dizzy. If the rate-up had just come at soft pity—ah, you piece of shit soft pity. Who even designed this. I want to drag them out and beat them.

Heat crawls up through the crown of my skull. A sound leaks out of my mouth that I will not be calling a whimper.

Fine. If it's like this, I might as well go for the front page. Thing number two a one-armed man can still do: dump a post on the board.

Hometown of the heart. The place that's been patching me up every time the world took another swing at me. I hit pity, so this one's got to make featured. I need whatever scrap of comfort I can get.

"Might as well eat."

The sun's already sliding down. Food, then. I pour water into a cup of ramen and head back to the same bench.

Hoo… maybe I should check if it hit featured.

I am a deeply strange man, because just thinking it might be on the front page tugs the corners of my mouth up.

…Huh?

It isn't there. My post is not on the featured list. I hunt for it in the regular feed. Five upvotes. Three comments. Buried.

Haa………………. What even is today. Nothing works. The heat in my face feels like it's going to split the skin. And now I'm disgusted with the idiot who was sitting here grinning about it a minute ago.

Bump it? Look like a clown? And then it gets buried again.

Uwaaaaaagh.

A cold drop hits the overheated crown of my head. Then my arm. Then the table. Then the ground. The sky tears open, and the people around the bench scatter like they've seen a ghost.

Damn it. My cup ramen. And now rain. I should've just eaten inside the store.

The downpour arrives all at once and soaks me to the skin. I peel the lid back, shovel a fat chopstick-load into my mouth, slurp, then lift the cup and knock the broth straight down.

"Kraaah."

Rain keeps pouring into the cup. The broth isn't going down. Even better, actually. Eat. We're all just trying to get by. It's good… it's good.

If it tastes good, then why… why are there tears.

This fucking… shit….

Can't even get a part-time job. Gacha tanks. I try to eat a meal and the sky dumps a flood on me. Hh-hhk. I'm trying so damn hard to live, so why are you doing this to me!!

"WHY!!!"

For a second, the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠world flashes white.

Thunder comes late, chasing the light, and time stops. My short, stupid life unspools in front of me like a panorama. Ah. Time didn't stop. It's just running slow. I can smell burning meat. So this is it. The whole life-flashing-before-your-eyes thing.

Live long enough and you even get struck by lightning. I have ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to die like this? I fail an interview, my gacha tanks, I eat cup ramen in a downpour, burst into tears, and then I get hit by lightning and die?

No. I don't want this…….

I try to hold on, but my mind is going. If I post about getting struck by lightning, that one'll make the front page for sure. Please. Just let me upload the post…

A life-flash is pretty short, as it turns out. First I've heard.

What is this even saying…. I just got struck by lightning, didn't I…? Is this the afterlife?

I have no idea.

My vision flares bright, and then my breath punches out of me all at once.

"Huk!!"

It's the park. The park where I got hit.

"Sweetheart, you can't lie around in a place like this."

A voice from above. At me? It's the convenience store clerk I saw when I bought the ramen, her face packed full of worry.

"Me?"

I point at myself with my right arm as I ask it.

Wait. Right arm?

"Ack!"

Why do I have this?

I lurch to my feet. My pants and underwear slither down and hit the dirt.

Wh—why are these falling off.

I grab for them, then freeze. These are not my legs. Pale, a little plump. The only mercy is that the shirt hangs long enough to cover part of what's below.

I look at the arms. Snow-white. Thin.

This isn't my body!

"Kiddo! Are you sure you're okay?"

"I-I'm all right."

I fumble it out and leave it there. Except the voice is wrong too. Wrong. Something is very, very off, and I cannot get my head around any of it.

Run. I need to get home.

I sit myself down as neatly as I can and gather up the clothes. A draft slides in against my bare lower half. Ugh… that feels so weird.

"Hey! Kid! Where are you going?!"

I have never run this hard in my life. Not under incoming shells. Not ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠weaving between buildings on a simulated ambush. Never like this.

"Hhhk, hhhk."

Every time I drag in a breath, that unfamiliar voice comes with it. I keep my chin tipped up, because every inhale and exhale puts two small peaks in my line of sight.

"Damn it… damn it!!"

Is this a dream?

I pinch my cheek, hard.

"Aaagh!"

A clear, bright voice, the kind you only hear in games. Definitely not a dream, then.

I won't settle a damn thing lying around. Move. Kim Deokbae, you bastard, you were special forces.

I head for the bathroom. My heart is slamming. My breathing's gone ragged. One more step and it's the mirror. Stand up straight.

"Hup…."

Who are you?

A beautiful girl is standing there with her silver hair a mess. She looks on the small side—I can only see part of the upper body. I look down.

Two softly rising peaks.

Should I touch them…? They'd be soft, right…?

What the hell am I saying!

I swallow. There's one way to be sure. That empty feeling down below. The sense that something which ought to be there isn't. I take the hem of the shirt in my fingers and lift it. Slowly. Very, very slowly.

Gone.

The shock is a real one. But people are supposed to be animals of adaptation, aren't they. Accepting the fact itself doesn't actually take that long. It's still staggering. What am I supposed to do about it, though.

……

I go back to the bed, lie down, and spend a while putting my thoughts in order. Hit pity. Got struck by lightning. Turned into a woman. And there was that weird voice, too. Something about misfortune. Something about awakening an ability.

Awakening an ability only means one thing.

Shall we check?

"Sta… Status Window!"

Silence.

Ah, of course. Hunter awakening, as if. The likes of me—

AAAAAAAH!!

I'm about to claw at my own hair out of sheer self-loathing when—

Ding.

Huh?

It appeared. It actually appeared. In stories like this, don't they usually awaken as EX-rank? Wait. Me? I already turned into a girl, so while we're here… Elite Beautiful Girl Hunter Life: start?

Trait window. Let's see the trait window. The shock from a minute ago is gone like it never happened, and dopamine is dumping into my blood like a broken faucet. All right. Commencing confirmation. Tadaa, tadaa, dun-dun-cha, dun-dun-cha, tada-lira-lari…

What?!

What is this?

The strength goes out of me all at once.

E-rank…? And what kind of no-pedigree trait is that supposed to be? A snake-eyed gunslinger? What even is that!!

The hollowness hits first. Then the reality check, hard, on the idiot who was just babbling about a super beautiful girl hunter life. A laugh bursts out of me before I can stop it.

"Hahahaha!!"

I couldn't tell you if I'm laughing or crying.

Haa… Fine. Look on the bright side. Something precious is gone, and the trait is E-rank, but I still awakened. I have an arm again, too.

I'm about to close the window, mouth twisted around the taste of it, when I see something. There's something sitting next to the E in E-rank. I shove my nose against the status window and stare.

"E… X?"

"E… X?"

An x was stuck beside the E—absurdly small. Genuinely the size of an ant's asshole.