Losing Control
Second.
Third.
I watch her hands.
Serin's fingers aren't moving fast.
She is doing it slowly on purpose.
Testing my reaction as she goes.
Her blouse parts.
A white bra is visible underneath.
There is no logo.
Instead, the stitching along the edges is dense and fine.
The fabric is thin and delicate.
It's expensive, obvious at a single glance.
The cups aren't large.
Modest.
To be honest, she isn't well-endowed.
But that's fine.
They're beautifully shaped.
Serin slides the blouse off her shoulders.
It falls to the floor.
"Why aren't you coming closer?"
"Do I have to?"
"...Come here."
I move in.
I place my hand on Serin's shoulder.
Just one hand.
My thumb rests on her collarbone.
Her collarbone is delicate.
I could easily pinch it between two fingers.
Serin holds her breath.
I trace my thumb along her collarbone.
Slowly.
From the inside out.
"Ah..."
A soft gasp escapes her lips.
Serin bites her lip.
She knows I heard her slip up.
I don't let it slide.
"Do it again."
"...No."
"Why?"
"It's weird. It's just a collarbone."
"But it's beautiful."
Serin freezes for a moment.
She stiffens at that word.
It means she doesn't hear it often.
Or at least, not said like this.
I press down on her collarbone again.
Applying a bit more pressure this time.
"Mnh—"
Serin reaches up and places her hand on my arm.
She grips it.
But she doesn't push me away.
I keep going.
My hand slides down from her collarbone.
Tracing the upper edge of her bra.
The upper curve of the cups.
With the very tips of my fingers.
Serin's breathing grows shallow.
Her chest rises and falls rapidly.
"Taeyoon."
"Yeah?"
"...What are you doing?"
"Just watching."
"Don't just watch..."
Serin trails off.
I cup my palm over her bra.
I don't squeeze.
I just let it rest there.
I feel her warmth.
Serin's body heat radiates into my palm.
Her heart is racing.
I can feel the frantic thrumming against my hand.
"Your heart is beating fast."
"Of course it is."
"Why?"
"Because you're acting strange."
"Do you hate it?"
Serin doesn't answer.
I reach around to her back.
I find the clasp of her bra.
Three hooks.
I undo them in one swift motion.
Serin looks slightly startled.
"...You're fast."
"Is there any reason to be slow?"
Serin has no reply.
I pull the bra forward.
I slide it off.
It drops to the floor right next to her blouse.
Serin reflexively tries to cover herself with her arms.
"Put your arms down."
Serin looks up at me.
"...Why?"
"Because I want to see you."
She is weak to this kind of talk.
I've just confirmed it.
The desire to look at her.
Laying bare my lust without pretense.
Taeyoon probably never said things like this.
He was either too shy, or rushed through it too quickly.
I wait.
Serin lowers her arms.
Revealing herself.
They aren't large.
Small, firm, and pert.
Her nipples are a pale, delicate pink.
They stand out vividly against her pale skin.
Beautiful.
Truly.
"What... why are you staring like that?"
"Because you're beautiful."
"...Idiot."
Serin turns her face away.
Her ears flush red.
I reach out.
I place my palms over her breasts.
Both of them.
I massage them slowly.
Serin bites her lip.
Her brow furrows slightly.
"Ah... ah."
A soft moan escapes her.
I flick her nipple with my thumb.
"Ngh, hey, there—"
"Yeah."
"Why there...?"
"Because you're reacting."
"I am not."
"You are right now."
"—Ngh."
Serin grabs my arm.
Again, she doesn't push me away.
She just holds on.
She isn't telling me to stop.
She's just looking for something to cling to.
I don't stop.
I gently pinch the tip between my thumb and forefinger.
"Ah—ngh, hey, Taeyoon—"
"Yeah."
"Slow down—"
"I am going slowly."
"It feels weird, so weird, ah—"
[Target: Yoon Serin]
[Current Detected Reactions]
• Respiration: Shallow
• Pulse: Rapidly Spiking
• Internal physiological response detected
[Taeyoon's Emotional Memory]
• "This woman loves it when I look at her."
Serin grabs my shoulders.
She leans her body against mine.
Her weight presses into me.
Her legs are losing their strength.
I support her back.
I guide her down onto the bed.
Slowly.
Serin's back meets the mattress.
Her hair fans out.
Light brown.
A floral scent wafts up.
Serin looks up at me.
"...Taeyoon."
"Yeah."
"This is weird."
"I know."
I slide my hand under her skirt.
Her thigh.
The inner thigh.
Serin arches her hips back.
"There—"
"Yeah."
"Not yet—"
"I know."
I only caress her thighs.
I stroke up along the inner thigh, then back down.
Over and over.
Serin's hips lift slightly.
"Mnh—hey, what are you—"
"What?"
"Why are you just doing that—ah."
Serin tries to squeeze her legs together.
My hand is in the way.
She can't close them.
"Ha... ah, Taeyoon."
"Yeah."
"Come up."
I pause for a moment.
"Right now?"
"...Yes."
"Impatient, aren't we?"
"I am not."
"You literally just told me to come up."
"—Shut up."
Serin turns her head away.
Her ears are even redder now.
Her lips are parted.
Her breath is shallow and quick.
I stand up.
I take off my shirt.
Serin watches.
She doesn't try to hide her gaze.
She likes to watch.
Confirmed.
I commit this to memory.
I push down my pants.
Serin looks away, then looks back.
She tries to resist, but can't help staring.
"...Hey."
"Yeah."
"It's big."
Direct.
I match her directness.
"Any complaints?"
"—No."
I slide Serin's skirt off.
All that's left are her white panties.
No logo.
The lace trim is thin and intricate.
Serin slightly closes her legs.
I place my hands on her thighs.
I part them.
Gently.
I don't force it.
Serin doesn't resist.
It was just a reflexive closing.
Out of habit.
I slide her panties down.
Serin gasps.
I look down at Serin.
Serin looks up at me.
"What are you looking at?"
"You're beautiful."
Once again, Serin freezes at those words.
It's her weakness.
Being told she's beautiful.
Having desire laid bare before her.
She is embarrassed, but she loves it.
"You keep saying stupid things like that."
"Because it's the truth."
Serin reaches out.
She grabs my shoulders.
"Come here."
I move in.
I position my knees between Serin's legs.
I grasp her waist.
With both hands.
My thumbs press against her hip bones.
Serin holds her breath.
"Slowly—"
"I know."
I enter her slowly.
Serin's eyes widen.
"Ngh—hey—"
"Breathe out."
"—Haah."
Serin squeezes my shoulders.
Her fingernails dig in.
Ah—ah—
I don't stop.
Slowly.
Continuously.
Serin's hips try to retreat.
She isn't trying to escape.
It's a reflex.
I hold her hips firmly.
She can't pull away.
"Ngh—so full—"
"Yeah."
"It's too much—"
"I know."
"Ah—ah, Taeyoon—"
"Yeah."
"Taeyoon—"
It's not my name.
But I answer to it anyway.
I move.
Slowly at first.
Letting her adjust.
Serin's hips react.
She begins to match my rhythm on her own.
Unconsciously.
Her body takes over.
"Haah—ah—"
"Does it feel good?"
"—Yes."
She answers instantly.
Without thinking.
That's her honest response.
I speed up slightly.
"Ngh—hey—hey, too—"
"Too what?"
"Ah—it's too fast—ah—"
"Is this fast?"
"—Yes, it's crazy—haah—"
Serin's hair sways.
Her light brown locks ripple across the mattress.
The floral scent intensifies.
Mingling with sweat.
Transforming into a different, muskier aroma.
I pull Serin closer by her waist.
Serin gasps in surprise.
"Ah—hey—"
"Look at me."
"What—ah—"
"Look at me."
Serin opens her eyes.
She looks at me.
Her eyes are glassy.
Not with tears.
Her eyeliner is smudged.
Her lips are parted.
Her breathing is rapid.
I keep going, locking eyes with her.
Serin can't hold my gaze.
"Why are you... looking at me... ah—"
"Because you're beautiful."
"—Ngh."
Serin turns her head.
Exposing her neck.
Her long, elegant neck.
I lean down.
I press my lips against her neck.
Serin stiffens.
"Hey—ah, there—"
I press my lips firmly against her skin.
Not too hard.
Just a firm, lingering touch.
"Ngh—haah—ah—"
Serin's hands touch my back.
Her fingers dig into my skin.
I keep going.
Moving down from her neck to her collarbone.
I run my tongue along her collarbone.
"Ah—hey, your tongue—ngh—"
"Yeah."
"It's too much—hey—haah—"
Serin's voice pitches higher.
Her hips lift.
She arches up toward my waist.
Trying to meet me.
She is the one initiating the rhythm now.
I can feel it.
Suddenly, Serin pushes against my chest.
"Wait."
I stop.
"Why?"
"I want to go on top."
Serin tries to sit up.
I shift to the side.
Serin sits up.
Her hair cascades down.
She is panting.
Her cheeks are flushed red.
Serin pushes me down.
Pressing her hands against me.
I lie back.
Serin straddles me.
Spreading her legs wide.
Her expression shifts as she settles over me.
A brief look of fluster crosses her face.
"What is it?"
"...The angle—"
"It's different, isn't it?"
"—Yeah."
Serin looks down at me.
Looking down from above.
I've just realized she likes looking down from this position.
She likes it, but it flusters her.
I grab Serin's thighs with both hands.
Squeezing them.
"Go ahead."
Serin moves.
Slowly.
Carefully.
Finding her own angle.
"Ngh—haah—"
I hold her steady.
I don't move.
I let her take control.
Serin finds her rhythm.
Gradually speeding up.
"Ah—ah, it's too much—"
"Does it feel weird on top too?"
"—Yes, even more—ngh—"
Serin's hair sways.
It spills forward.
Veiling her face.
I reach up.
I brush her hair back behind her ears.
Revealing her face.
Serin looks at me.
"Why?"
"To look at you."
"—Ngh, whatever."
"I'm not done looking."
Serin falls silent.
She keeps moving.
Her pace quickens.
Her breathing matches the speed.
"Ah—ah—hey, Taeyoon—"
"Yeah."
"Taeyoon—"
"Yeah."
Serin presses her hands against my chest.
She leans down.
Resting her weight on me.
"Ah—ngh—ah—so full—it's crazy—"
"I know."
"I said it's crazy—ah—"
Serin's movements grow wilder.
She is completely focused.
Searching for her release.
I bring my hands to her waist.
Assisting her rhythm.
Gently.
I don't take over completely.
Just guiding her.
"Ah—hey—hey—right there—"
"Here?"
"—Yes, there—haah—"
Serin's breathing grows frantic.
Her hands press harder against my chest.
The room is dark.
Serin's hair sways in the shadows.
Her light brown locks are barely visible as a silhouette.
Spilling down like a curtain.
On both sides.
I watch it from below.
"Ah—ah—ngh—"
Serin's voice rises.
She is losing control.
She is starting to completely unravel.
I tighten my grip on her waist.
I thrust up from below, matching her rhythm.
"Ah—hey—hey—haah—"
"Serin."
I call her name.
For the first time.
For the first time today, without her last name.
Serin falters.
Her movement hitches for a second.
"...What?"
"Keep going."
"—Ngh."
Serin starts moving again.
But something has shifted.
Her name.
She heard her name.
"Ah—haah—Taeyoon—"
"Yeah."
"Don't call my name."
"Why?"
"It's weird—ngh—"
"Is it?"
"—Yes—ah—it's too weird—haah—"
Serin's hips grind even harder.
She claims it's weird, yet she pushes harder.
Slowly.
Deeply.
I don't speed up before she can adjust.
"Ah—ah—Taeyoon—"
"Yeah."
"Harder—"
Direct.
She demands it outright.
I oblige.
"Ah—ah—hey—"
Serin's hair thrashes against the mattress.
Her head throws back.
Exposing her long neck.
I keep up the relentless pace.
Serin's breath hitches and breaks.
Her voice rises to a shriek.
The sound of someone on the verge of shattering.
"Ah—ah—ah, Taeyoon—Taeyoon—"
"Yeah."
"My name—don't call my name—ah—"
"Serin."
"—Ahhh—"
Her hips arch high.
Her entire body tenses.
And then.
"Ah—ah—ahhh—haah—"
Serin collapses.
All the strength drains from her hips.
The tension coiled in her body snaps all at once.
Her breath pitches in short gasps before settling into long, shuddering sighs.
I follow her shortly after.
I stop.
Loosening my grip on Serin's waist, I slowly pull out of her.
Silence descends.
Only the sound of our heavy breathing fills the room.
Serin pants.
I am out of breath too.
I look up at the ceiling.
A blank white ceiling.
Nothing there.
I don't know how much time has passed.
Probably a few minutes.
Serin drags herself up onto my chest.
She rests her forehead against my shoulder.
Catching her breath.
Haah— haah—
I wrap my arm around her back.
After a while.
Serin is the first to speak.
"...Why did you call my name?"
"Am I not allowed to?"
"It's weird."
"What is?"
Serin doesn't answer.
Instead, she buries her forehead deeper into my shoulder.
Pressing into me.
Trying to hide her face.
I let her.
Serin's hand slides to my back.
At first, it just rests there.
Then, she slowly squeezes.
Clinging to me.
She is the one holding on first.
Her phone vibrates again.
Serin lifts her head.
Her face is wet.
I can't tell if it's sweat or tears.
Her eyeliner is completely smudged.
She looks at me.
Staring at me over and over.
"Taeyoon."
"Yeah."
"One more time."
Direct.
Relentless.
"Catch your breath first."
"I am."
"Does that sound like catching your breath?"
Serin laughs.
It's the first time.
The first time since we entered this room.
"It's because you're making me act crazy."
Serin presses her hands against my chest.
She doesn't push.
She doesn't push me down, either.
She climbs up on her own.
Initiating.
This time, without a shred of hesitation.
Her phone vibrates.
This time, Serin doesn't even look at it.