Poverty Doesn’t Make You Good (4)
Just the thought of that face made my hands and feet tremble. Not from anger—simply from the fact that I couldn’t make sense of it.
I’m not the one in the wrong.
Of course I wasn’t.
Helping people was only natural. Yes, utterly natural.
He doesn’t understand anything.
No one went into the Slums because they wanted to. Everyone here had their own story.
Some had simply failed to make contact with a guild or clan. Others had gone out hunting, been crippled somewhere along the way, and had no choice but to come here.
Some had been driven out by sick family members, while others couldn’t even find work.
In other words, it was society that had driven them into the streets.
Lindel was wrong. The Holy Empire was wrong. No, this entire continent was wrong.
A society that didn’t know how to care for the weak. A selfish society.
They claimed to have welfare systems, but the poor never benefited from them.
In this continent, where everyone moved only for their own gain, someone had to step forward.
“You’ll be in danger.”
“No, I won’t be in danger.”
“Well, whatever you think, that’s your freedom as a priest. Still, I recommend you at least prepare some basic precautions. There’s no telling when, how, or what might happen.”
“Why do you think that?”
“I’d rather ask why you don’t.”
“You don’t understand me because you’re not really looking at them.”
“My answer is the same. If anything, it’s you who isn’t really looking at them, Priest. They aren’t merely poor souls who need pity and help. The ones who need help are those struggling to stand again, not those who choose to lie down of their own accord.”
“I don’t want to hear any more of that sophistry.”
“Yes, yes. It sounds like sophistry to you, I’m sure. How very unsurprising.”
“Then, as you said, I’ll be leaving now. I’d appreciate it if you kept your promise.”
“Of course. And may you return safely.”
It wasn’t even worth answering.
No— even if I went to the Slums looking like this, nothing would change.
In truth, I didn’t need to accept a ridiculous offer like that in the first place.
And yet the reason I still insisted on going alone was simple.
I’m not wrong.
I wanted to prove that I wasn’t wrong.
I wanted to prove that man was the one in the wrong.
There was, after all, a clear difference between watching from a distance and breathing the same air, living among them.
They were all hopelessly naïve people.
There had been an old couple who cried tears of gratitude over a tiny bit of help, and a little child who cut me flowers as repayment.
For nearly two years, I had watched so many things that man had never seen. I had communicated with them, talked with them, spent long stretches of time with them.
He could say those things because he never saw any of it.
That was the only reason he could speak that way. Because he had never witnessed those scenes for himself.
As I slowly moved deeper in, the atmosphere began to darken.
It was a place I visited every day, and yet it felt oddly unfamiliar.
Even though it was mealtime, I still couldn’t see any of the others who usually volunteered here. It seemed something had come up today.
This place was always the same.
The stench was still sharp enough to sting the nose, but I had long since grown used to it.
Compared to when I first came, I had adjusted enough that I could move through without much thought.
When I turned my head and looked around, I could see people still lying there listlessly.
There were others chatting idly, and some gazing toward different parts of the district.
People looking after children came into view, and couples walking arm in arm also caught my eye.
That man was right.
This, too, was a place where people lived.
A place where utterly ordinary people lived.
There were no conveniences, no decent restaurants, not even proper houses.
And for some reason, a laugh slipped out of me.
Good.
As I moved farther in, I naturally found the usual cluster of people.
The square.
It wasn’t really something you could call a proper square. It was just an empty, barren stretch of ground, a place where people gradually gathered once I started coming here, and so they called it a square.
In other words, it was a symbolic space the poor referred to as their shelter.
When I quietly took a seat off to one side, familiar faces came into view.
Definitely.
Definitely one of the men that man had brought with him.
I had no idea why he was here now when he should have been at work, but there must have been some reason.
As I was quietly surveying the area, a loud voice suddenly reached my ears.
“Kim! You didn’t go out to work today?”
“Work?”
“That guy with the slanted eyes said he’d hire me, so….”
“Ahhh. I quit.”
“What?”
“Man, it was hellishly hard. They wanted me to move rocks, of all things. Honestly, it wasn’t the kind of work I was cut out for.”
“What? Weren’t you just saying you were finally starting over for real?”
“I did think about it for a second. But honestly, whether I slave away there or stay here eating the food that bitch gives us, I don’t really see much difference.”
“Watch your mouth, you idiot. If someone hears you—”
“Let them hear. Looks like she won’t even come today, anyway… Felt like I was making a huge fuss over work for nothing. What if she just stops coming here from now on?”
“She’ll probably come. Maybe she’s just sick today.”
“A priest getting sick? Since when does that make sense?”
“Maybe it’s that time of month. Even priests can’t go against the laws of nature, can they?”
“Huh. Fair enough.”
Huh?
It was a statement I couldn’t quite understand.
Just in case I’d misheard, I strained my ears again.
But I hadn’t misheard.
Something I absolutely couldn’t understand had definitely been said.
Ah….
“Man, this sucks…. I’m starving to death… and my body feels so heavy….”
“Wait, that’s a face I haven’t seen before….”
“Ah….”
It didn’t seem as though they were talking about me specifically, but I still found myself shrinking back.
I covered my face with one hand and slipped out of the square.
I didn’t know why I was running.
I only had the feeling that I shouldn’t stay there any longer.
To be precise, I didn’t want to listen to their conversation anymore, but I didn’t have the luxury of sorting out all the reasons at once.
You’re the one who domesticated them.
That man’s voice echoed in my head.
Like a hand turning over, one incomprehensible scene after another kept forcing its way into view.
Things I had never noticed before were suddenly visible.
“I’ll give you a discount.”
“You smell money from a mile away.”
“Well, I do know you went off with that guy… so of course I know.”
“Pfft.”
The couple walking arm in arm no longer looked like a couple.
They were a prostitute and a middle-aged man looking for one.
“This is it?”
“I-I’m sorry.”
“These damn brats keep getting in the way….”
“Agh!”
The man with the children wasn’t actually caring for them either.
The vagrants on the street were wetting their throats with cheap rum, and I could hear men bullying the weak and harassing women.
People vomited in the street and left it where it was, or walked right past someone lying there in pain as if they hadn’t seen them at all.
“Hey!”
The curses I’d never been able to hear before were unsettling beyond words.
Of course.
Every place was the same.
There was no need to be shaken.
There were bad people everywhere.
Judging an entire group based on a few was something to avoid as much as possible.
And yet, with a thought that suddenly crashed over me, I had no choice but to swallow dryly.
What if that man is right?
What if I really have been mistaken?
What if what I saw was only a fraction, and what he saw was the whole?
What if I had been the one who wasn’t seeing things properly?
Thoughts tangled together in a mess.
Things I had never noticed before came into view.
These were things I had never seen when I was the one helping them.
They’re probably perpetrators somewhere, too.
His words were right.
Even the people I thought of as weak were, somewhere else, perpetrators. In some place or another, they were the ones doing harm.
The reason no anger had ever come crashing down on me until now was simply because I had always been above them.
The reason I had never become a victim was because I had worn fine clothes and been surrounded by the strong.
But now, the situation was different.
I only realized why that man had warned me it would be dangerous at the very moment that thought took hold.
I need to get out.
Right now, I was also part of this society. Just as I swallowed down another mouthful of dry saliva and moved quickly, a voice suddenly came from behind me.
“If you don’t want to get stabbed, don’t move.”
It was a voice that sounded as though phlegm were boiling up in his throat.
What mattered even more than that was the blade I could feel pressed against my back.
“Y-yes?”
“You’re new here, aren’t you?”
“…….”
“And here I thought I’d hooked a real fat one. You wrapped yourself up so tight in that hood, did you think nobody would realize you were an outsider?”
“W-what are you doing….”
“Asking when you already know? Or asking because you don’t?”
“P-please don’t….”
“You do know how dangerous it is to wander around alone at night, don’t you?”
“P-please… save me….”
“That depends on how much you’ve got, and whether you’re unlucky enough to die or lucky enough to live.”
I could vaguely understand what was happening.
I could feel the blade pressed against my back.
My mind kept screaming that I needed to cast a spell, but my mouth wouldn’t cooperate.
The whole thing had happened too suddenly, and my legs were shaking from the sheer novelty of it.
Before I knew it, I had collapsed to the ground with a wet slap, and then something slammed into the back of my head from behind.
“Kyaaaah!”
My body toppled to the side.
Before I could even collect myself, a rough hand grabbed my hair. I desperately rolled my eyes, begging someone—anyone—for help, but the men in my vision only stared at me in silence, as though this were all terribly amusing.
“H-help….”
I could see faces I recognized, too.
People who had shown up during meal distribution were there.
People I had laughed and chatted with.
They had all their own stories, and they had all seemed like plain, honest people.
I had assumed they would help.
Because this was wrong.
And yet not a single person reached out a hand. They either averted their gaze or pointed and laughed.
Their reactions were all the same.
“Please don’t do this. S-someone, help me! Please… help me!”
A fist slammed into my stomach.
A rough hand whipped across my cheek.
I felt the inside of my mouth split open, but perhaps because of the fear, I couldn’t even scream.
When I tried to raise my holy power and cast a spell, a massive fist came at my face.
“Aaaagh!”
“…….”
“Please don’t do this. Don’t… someone help me. Please… help me.”
“What, you want help from a bunch of guys who are all just like me?”
“N-no….”
“And you knew that, but still came in here? Alone, too. Pfft. What is this, ‘please eat me’ or something?”
He wasn’t referring to the Slums as a whole.
I realized in an instant that the area this man had mentioned was the western side of the square.
I couldn’t understand why this was supposed to be a place you shouldn’t enter.
It was a place I’d always walked through whenever I volunteered.
Before I could even gather my thoughts, a huge face loomed right in front of me.
“Damn, you’re a skinny little thing.”
One side of his face was a mass of burned, ruined flesh. It looked rotten in places, as if it had simply decayed away.
The stench from his mouth and body was so awful I nearly retched.
“Urgh.”
“What is it, miss? Do I disgust you?”
“N-no.”
My head was yanked back again.
Before I even felt the pain in my left cheek, a vice-like grip closed around my throat.
It became hard to breathe, and all at once, a strange, nameless pain spread through my body.
“Do I disgust you?!”
“Aaaagh!”
“Do I! Do I disgust you?!”
“S-save me. Somebody… help—kyaaaack!”
I’m going to die….
“Please help….”
“Miss, I don’t know why you keep asking for help, but do you really think there’s anyone here who can help you? If you need help, you should go to the local clan vigilantes and ask them. There isn’t a single person here who’s going to help you. Everyone here is too busy trying to survive, you understand….”
“Please….”
“Puhuhuhu.”
Help me….
Those people were watching me with expressions of intense amusement, as though eagerly awaiting whatever came next. They had no interest in saving anyone.
You said it would be dangerous.
“N-no….”
They’re probably perpetrators somewhere, too.
“Help me. Somebody… please….”
The ones who need help are those trying to stand again, not those who lie down.
“I’m sorry. Please… help me.”
You’re the one who turned them into dogs.
“Save me. I was wrong! Please! Aaaagh! Stop! Stop!”
“See? That’s what I told you, wasn’t it, Priest.”
“Ah….”
“Didn’t I say that not all poor people are good?”
When I turned my head, the face that came into view was the one I hated seeing most of all.