Cute Revenge (4)
Everything changed overnight. It was a little cliché, maybe, but no other phrase could possibly do justice to the situation I was in.
The flood of people’s attention and stares was awkward at first, but after a little while I got used to that too.
Of course, I wasn’t enjoying the envious looks on their faces. I knew better than anyone that this was nothing more than an act, and I didn’t place much value on that sort of thing anyway.
What I cared about was the effect everyone else’s reaction had on Kim Gicheol.
That bastard…
I tried not to think about it, but irritating thoughts kept rising in my head.
The disgusting scenes and voices I had seen and heard with my own eyes and ears kept echoing inside me, to the point that it was almost unbearable.
Even the mere act of imagining it made my eyes sting and tears threaten to spill.
This is so annoying.
I hated the fact that I had to feel this way because of that man.
If I hadn’t set this whole thing in motion, I would probably be lying alone in my room right now, crying my eyes out.
At first I’d wondered how much good there could possibly be in plotting all this with Instructor Lee Kiyoung, but it was definitely helping.
At the very least, the sensation of my tightly blocked, suffocating chest being freed for even a moment felt good enough to call pleasant.
It was like scratching an itch in some hidden corner of my heart.
I couldn’t really put the feeling into words, but it was important that it eased the pressure inside me.
When I started toward the dormitory, a voice called out from my side.
“Ahyoung.”
It was obvious who it belonged to.
“What?”
“What do you mean, what? I came because I wanted to see you.”
It was Kim Gicheol.
At a glance he looked relaxed, but there was anxiety stamped all over his face and movements.
For a brief moment, the tears that had been threatening to burst out receded.
The negative thoughts were still crawling back into my head, but for some reason I felt a little calmer now.
Maybe it was because I could read the unease in his expression.
“Aren’t you supposed to be out here at this hour? I thought trainees weren’t allowed out of the dorms after midnight….”
“That’s for you too….”
“You know very well that your situation and mine are different, oppa. I was granted leave. You’re out here without permission.”
“To be precise, I’m not out without permission. I’m here for work too.”
“Work? Did you get an offer from some clan?”
“Well. S-something like that.”
“Where from?”
“A mid-sized guild. It’s not in Lindel, but over in Castle Rock. It’s called the Giant Guild, I think.”
I had heard of them before.
They were a guild that had risen to prominence after their impressive performance in the Castle Rock siege.
I’d heard that Castle Rock had originally been under the control of a guild called Small Rock, but…
I think Instructor Lee Kiyoung said they only rose after some guy named Song Jungwook gave his life for Castle Rock….
I didn’t remember the details clearly, but that much was definitely what I’d been told.
They weren’t in Lindel, but they were still one of the guilds a lot of trainees had their eyes on.
Recently, their admission standards had gotten pretty high, so if I were being honest, Kim Gicheol’s scores weren’t good enough to get him in there.
Annoying.
It was only natural that a little irritation was beginning to bubble up.
So annoying….
I didn’t know why, but my insides felt horribly cramped.
Of course, it didn’t take me long to realize that this suffocating feeling was really just a filthy little jealousy—me not wanting to see the man in front of me doing well.
Ugh…
It was insanely irritating to even feel this way in the first place. In the end, I could only let something slip without meaning to.
“That’s not somewhere you can get into with your grades, oppa.”
I knew even as I said it that I’d probably gone too far.
I did wonder if I’d been too harsh, but when I saw the way Kim Gicheol’s expression twisted, I felt a strange sense of relief, as if the pressure inside me was finally easing.
Ah….
“Shouldn’t you be looking at clans instead of guilds with your grades, oppa?”
I knew I shouldn’t have said things like this, but my mouth, as if bewitched by something, had no intention of stopping.
I wondered if I was being too mean, but the words meant to relieve my frustration kept shooting out before I could stop them.
“If they’re sending you somewhere without an upfront fee or a salary, you should quit, oppa. I heard that from Instructor Lee Kiyoung… in cases like that, there’s a high chance you won’t even be a proper guild member and will just end up being used for things like hauling monster corpses.”
“You….”
“I’m saying all this for your own good. The salary and the signing bonus—how much are they, anyway…?”
“Quite a lot.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. When I said I wanted to go with you, Ahyoung….”
“I never agreed to that. Why are you deciding that on your own?”
I was so dumbfounded I could barely get the words out properly. I knew something was off, but I never imagined he’d come at me like this.
“You’re really going to Blue?”
“What’s wrong with that? They said they’d give me the best treatment possible in terms of both signing bonus and salary. The welfare there is supposed to be better than what other major guilds offer too.”
“What about when I said we’d join together….”
“I never said I’d join together with you. That was just what you assumed.”
“You don’t know the rumors about that place? About Lee Kiyoung?”
“Why? What’s wrong with Instructor Lee? Weren’t you the one who told me it would be better to get close to Instructor Lee Kiyoung at first? You told me to do that. And he didn’t look like a bad person at all. He’s way more amazing than you know.”
“I’ve heard things too, but… his relationships with women are complicated, and one thing says ten about a person. The power Instructor Lee Kiyoung has gained… do you really think that could’ve happened through proper means? He’s just an alchemist, for god’s sake.”
I had to force down the words trying to leap out of my mouth—You’re complicated too—and keep them buried.
“Is that a flaw here when this isn’t even Earth? Honestly, I like that he’s so open about it. He isn’t sneaking around doing filthy things in secret; everybody knows. People with ability usually do things like that.”
“So… you think that makes it look good?”
“I wouldn’t say it looks good, but it doesn’t look bad either. He’s capable, so I think he’s entitled to it.”
“Don’t think that the attention Instructor Lee Kiyoung shows you is real, Ahyoung. You’re too kind, so maybe you don’t understand the world very well, but all of that….”
“Whether the attention is real or not, does that even matter? Do you have any idea how much all the clothes I’m wearing cost? You probably don’t. Even if you worked your whole life, you still couldn’t buy a single thing I’m wearing. I thought it was all just normal stuff too, but this ring, for example? It cost 20,000 gold.”
Every time the expression on the man in front of me crumpled, the tightly bunched-up frustration inside me seemed to peel away a little more.
There was no doubt in my mind that I understood what that emotion was.
Inferiority.
What he was showing me now was definitely inferiority.
“You… with that guy… slept….”
“They say when you’re obsessed with one thing, that’s all you can see. Do I look like I’d sell my body?”
“Say it properly. Yoo Ahyoung, you….”
“What if I did?”
I saw his face twist again.
My body shuddered at the prickling sensation racing down my back, and of course that was only natural.
It felt like the emotions I’d been holding in were falling away all at once.
Even though some part of me knew I shouldn’t be doing this, I couldn’t stop myself, just like an alcoholic reaching for a drink.
“You!”
“That guy… you know, he’s not just impressive because of his wealth and power.”
“What does that mean?”
“He can’t even be compared to someone like you in any way. Do I really have to say it out loud? That was the first time in my life I ever thought I was happy to be born a woman.”
“Yoo Ahyoung!”
His bloodshot eyes and trembling face came into view.
So that’s what this was.
Instructor Lee Kiyoung’s words suddenly came back to me for no reason.
That’s what men like that are doing when they’re frothing at the mouth. It’s what happens when a woman they thought belonged to them gets taken by another man.
When I first heard that explanation, I hadn’t understood exactly what situation he meant. But seeing it in front of my eyes like this, I think I understood what Instructor Lee Kiyoung had been talking about.
Not only could I feel that prickling sensation crawling down my back, but the suffocating knot in my chest seemed to burst all at once.
This feels good.
Just looking at that jealous, agonized face eased the pressure in my chest.
I thought maybe I could say something even harsher, and when I found myself pursing my lips in anticipation, only one thought remained.
Would it be okay to end it here?
Under normal circumstances, I never would have thought something like that.
But I wanted to keep watching him suffer a little longer. I wanted to watch for as long as possible.
I wanted to make him hurt even more than he was hurting now.
The same kind of thoughts kept rising in my head again and again.
I was hurting too.
It felt like my chest had been torn apart.
He should hurt too.
That was only fair.
He needs to know what it feels like to be betrayed too.
Instructor Lee Kiyoung’s voice came back to me once more.
He’d spoken as if I should just let it pass by casually, but for some reason the words kept circling in my head.
Revenge is best when you keep going until it feels satisfying. The people who say it’s pointless or that it leaves a bad taste in your mouth are the ones who’ve never really taken revenge properly. When you truly do it right, you see, it feels so good your chest could burst.
He was right. It really did feel like I was about to fly away.
I wanted to feel this a little more. I wanted to savor it slowly, little by little.
In the end, I could only look at him steadily and speak.
“I was just saying that because I was angry. Nothing actually happened.”
“You….”
For a moment, a look of immense relief flickered across his face.
“…….”
“…….”
“Ahyoung.”
“What?”
“Do you know you’ve been acting a little strange lately?”
“…….”
“Is it because I’ve been neglecting you lately? Is this about me saying we should take a little time apart?”
“I don’t know….”
“Everything I said was for your sake. I believed in the potential you had, and I thought I might be standing in the way of your future. But seeing you now, I definitely think I’ve been too inattentive to you lately.”
What a load of crap.
Of course I knew he was lying.
“I’m sorry, Ahyoung.”
“…….”
But the corners of my mouth kept lifting.
Obviously, it wasn’t because I felt good about receiving a heartfelt apology. It was because the thought of feeling that emotion again made my heart pound.
“I don’t want to see your face right now, oppa.”
“I’m sorry. Really… but I want you to know one thing. That I love you.”
“I’m going inside for now.”
“Ahyoung! Yoo Ahyoung!”
“And….”
“Yeah?”
“I’ll accept your apology, oppa. Tomorrow… let’s eat together for old times’ sake.”
As I turned back slightly and spoke, I caught sight of Kim Gicheol’s face, quietly smiling.
My back prickled again for no reason.
* * *
While I was sitting on the sofa in one corner of Cha Heera’s room, skimming through some documents, a voice came from beside me.
“You still haven’t chosen a rear guard, have you, Jagi?”
“Yeah. We need to make a second party, but… there just aren’t any usable people. I was thinking of taking in new recruits if possible, but looks like I might have to bring in some experienced ones after all.”
“There’ll probably be a few mages from the Magic Guild coming out soon too. If they don’t renew their contracts… we’re planning to bring in a few as well, so look into that side too.”
“More than that, I want to raise them myself from the beginning to the end. In a completely untainted state.”
“Ah. That does sound nice. That’s part of why you’re hiring rookies in the first place, isn’t it….”
Experienced people were certainly fine, but since there were two other new recruits who would need to grow alongside them, I wanted the rear guard to be a new recruit as well.
Even though I’d been keeping my Mind’s Eye open constantly lately, I still hadn’t found anyone who made me think, that’s the one. It seemed like finding a recruit I actually liked would be difficult this time around.
Normally, a mage had to have a three-part balance of understanding magic, talent in mana, and desperate effort, so I understood that genuinely useful people weren’t common.
If someone was even half as good as Jung Hayan, I would have taken them.
“Hoo….”
“You seem to enjoy making little jokes even when you’re busy.”
“It’s surprisingly fun.”
“That’s your business, though…. You told our second party about Yoo Ahyoung, right?”
“Ah… yeah. Roughly. Hayan’s in Lindel right now, so I thought maybe it’d be fine? Is noona okay with it?”
“I’ve always liked this kind of thing. It has a certain satisfying edge to it, doesn’t it? It’s not like there’s much else to enjoy here, and I’m far too impressive to be getting princess treatment like that anyway, so I couldn’t possibly feel that kind of catharsis myself, could I? I just get secondhand satisfaction.”
“Why, do you want princess treatment?”
“You’ve gotten pretty cocky lately. Hm?”
The moment I grinned, she immediately put me in my place.
To be honest, I did flinch a little.
Even now, after becoming equals in our conversations, Cha Heera was still terrifying in her own way.
Well, I did see the way she looked….
Her red eyes, the slobber hanging from her mouth as she approached like a madwoman—it was still vivid in my mind, so of course I’d react like this.
“You just imagined that moment again, didn’t you?”
“No… noona.”
“I can tell from your face. Didn’t I tell you to forget it?”
“It’s not like you can just tell someone to forget something and they’ll forget it….”
I was in the middle of making something that wasn’t quite an excuse when the door opened and a guild employee came in to report.
It seemed the guest I’d sent word for a few days ago had finally arrived.
I felt oddly pleased at the thought that I’d get to see Ddoldol again after so long.
“Mr. Lee Kiyoung. I… we have a guest.”
“Please show them to my room. Tell them I’ll come by in a little while.”
“Um… the doorway is too narrow. I’m not sure they can come in….”
“Pardon?”
“That is… if you don’t mind, you’ll need to go outside and check for yourself.”
“What? No, there’s no need for that… wasn’t Dialugia with you? I really have no idea what you’re talking about right now….”
“Kieeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!”
It was a booming cry unlike its usual voice.
Almost instinctively, I turned toward the sound and looked down below the window, where a grotesque creature with an unfamiliar shape had come into view.
Ddoldol?
It was the size of a large dog—no, of a beast of prey.
For a split second, I had no choice but to doubt my own eyes.
Ddoldol… why did you get so big?