Awakening
“Were you worried?”
“Th-tha—”
“That’s funny, honestly. Look at you, pretending you’re not. You’re upset that I went to Kiyoung, aren’t you?”
“I-I wasn’t thinking that, Ms. Hye-Young. I-it’s not like whatever Oppa does has anything to do with me….”
“Your face says otherwise….”
“I- I’m really not.”
“Sure, sure. Don’t make me laugh, you little bitch. Who do you think you’re fooling with that sly little mind of yours? You look all dull and stupid, but your head works just fine. Who would’ve thought you’d hook a big fish like that not long after coming here? What, are you actually good at seducing men with that kind of face? …I can’t wrap my head around it. Or maybe his taste is just weird. You know the type, right? The kind who takes an interest in people who look a little off in the head. Pfft.”
I couldn’t quite understand what she was saying.
“There’s that look again. I really hate it.”
“S-s-sorry.”
“What are you sorry for? You’re the one treating everyone like idiots in your head anyway….”
“Th-that’s not it. I-I just….”
“Do you really think Kiyoung likes you? That he’s only being nice to you because he cares?”
“T-that….”
“Don’t get the wrong idea, you stupid girl. You’re just lucky. You happened to be the first one he noticed, and things just happened to get tangled up. You probably don’t know, but I know exactly what kind of person he is. People like Lee Kiyoung don’t trust others to begin with. They get bored easily, and the moment they don’t need someone anymore, they throw them away without a second thought.”
“O-Oppa isn’t like that. And….”
“That’s what you want to believe. Believing it helps you, after all. But what are you going to do when I’m right? Maybe things are fine now, but give it some time and it’ll change. From what I can tell, you seem like the type people get tired of pretty quickly. Pfft. Haven’t you ever heard that before?”
I bit my lip hard.
I was terribly confused.
My head felt like it was on fire. I wanted to shout back at her, but my voice wouldn’t come out properly.
All I could do was tremble.
“I’ve never seen you make that face before. Are you mad? Did I hit a nerve? You’ve always been the type to get abandoned, haven’t you?”
“I-I-I-I’m not.”
“You are too. It’s written all over your face. Or are you the kind who gets taken from instead? Either way, it’s pathetic. Listen, don’t ever assume you’ll always be the first one. What do you think has been happening in places you weren’t looking?”
Slowly, Park Hye-Young’s face drew closer. And then, the moment her whisper brushed my ear, a shout burst out of me before I could stop it.
“Kiyoung is… more decent than I expected.”
“D-don’t lie!”
“Oh my, you caught me.”
Tears kept welling up in my eyes.
I wanted to argue, to say something, anything—but it felt like something kept blocking my throat.
That woman was right.
My parents abandoned me. My sisters abandoned me too.
Even the friends I’d spent time with, even the people I liked, had all drifted away from me one by one.
Maybe I really was the kind of person everyone got tired of.
I always made mistakes. I could never say the right thing.
Being bullied was ordinary. Being alone was easier.
Still.
Oppa is different.
Oppa isn’t like that.
He was a little different from everyone else I’d met. Fundamentally different from the people I’d known.
He said I was like family. He said I was like a little sister. He said he wanted to treasure me.
He checked on me every day and took care of me. Deokgu said the same thing.
He told me every single day that Oppa cared about me.
He said it was fine if I made mistakes. That I could do better. He always cheered me on.
He answered even my stupid questions with a smile and quietly watched over me.
“Th-there’s no way.”
“Sounds like that’s just what you want to believe. Honestly, it’s not impossible. Let me give you a warning, little sister. If you want something, you should gobble it up before you get tossed aside. Otherwise, it’ll all be taken away from you.”
“P-please stop. D-don’t talk about Oppa like that….”
“No.”
The instant I saw the crooked smile on her lips, I felt a shove against my shoulder.
My body was knocked backward naturally.
I landed hard on my butt and turned around, but all I could see was Park Hye-Young’s back as she walked away into the distance.
At the same time, voices poured in from all around me.
“Serves you right.”
“What was that just now?”
“Looks like our pure little White is about to get abandoned.”
“Knock it off. She can hear you, girl.”
“Why stop? Didn’t you hear? She’ll be alone again soon enough… so who’s she going to cling to this time? Ah! Maybe she won’t even have anyone left to cling to. She should’ve stayed with Seokwoo instead… she needs to know her place. That’s why she’s alone.”
“Wonder how she’ll manage when she’s lonely again.”
There was no way.
There’s no way.
Oppa would never abandon me.
The Oppa who always said he’d stay with me would never just throw me away like that.
The Oppa who told me I was family would never abandon me.
But are you sure? Really sure?
And yet her voice kept echoing in my head.
“There’s no way!”
“What was that? Did she just yell?”
“She did, didn’t she? She’s really mad….”
“Guess her true colors are coming out now.”
There was no way. Oppa would never leave me. He was different from everyone else. Always warm. Always kind.
Your sister abandoned you too.
“N-no.”
And your parents abandoned you, didn’t they?
“That’s not true. Oppa is different. Oppa is different.”
He had to be different.
It was terribly hard to calm the pounding in my chest. I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly.
My breaths grew shallower and shallower, and my mind turned hazy. Tears kept rising in my eyes, but they wouldn’t spill down my cheeks.
I could hear people mocking me from all around.
I didn’t really care about that. Something else mattered more than that.
The place my feet were heading toward was where Oppa was.
Just for a moment, right? If I say there’s something I don’t understand and go to him, he’ll meet me.
He definitely would.
I felt like I’d calm down if I could just see his face, even a little.
As I hurried forward in a daze, a voice called out from somewhere nearby.
It was Lee Jihye’s voice.
“Everyone, could you gather here for a moment?”
“Yes.”
“Tomorrow, when Hyunsung, Deokgu, and Kiyoung head outside, they’re planning to select some of the people here to go with them. I think you’ll hear the details from Hyunsung, but everyone chosen today should make some preparations.”
Come to think of it, I had heard they were going out together.
It was only natural that I’d want to spend more time with him.
I couldn’t understand why I’d forgotten that. Now we’d have a little more time together.
Thank goodness.
When I turned my head, I saw Kim Hyunsung, Park Deokgu, and Oppa coming out from behind Lee Jihye.
Oppa.
His face was more serious than usual, but somehow he seemed more stable, too.
My heart was pounding, but my head no longer hurt or spun.
The suffocating feeling from before vanished the instant our eyes met.
That inexplicable feeling made my face warm for no reason.
He looked this way.
He was definitely looking right here.
As the murmuring around me slowly faded, Kim Hyunsung opened his mouth in a quiet voice.
“First of all, I’m sorry to have gathered everyone here when you’re all already busy. As you probably have a rough idea by now, continuing to survive in this place is difficult. Food rations are dwindling day by day, while the number of survivors continues to grow. We do have some food and drinking water brought from the Start Point, but the amount is far from enough. We believe we need to expand our range of activity a little further.”
“Ah….”
“The number of people who can fight needs to increase beyond what it is now. Of course, I know many of you are frightened of those monsters. Some of you aren’t used to fighting, and some of you may not want to leave this place. But we need to move first. I don’t want to say anything unpleasant, but if we don’t, in the end, we’ll all be taken down. So we’ve decided that the right course is to go out with you in stages.”
Next to speak after Kim Hyunsung was Kiyoung Oppa.
“Kiyoung.”
“Yes. I understand what you’re afraid of. But there are things you can only gain by fighting. As you all know, this isn’t the Earth we used to live on. I think you already understand what things like status windows, system traits, and classes mean. Fire.”
Flames burst from his palm with a whoosh.
The eyes of everyone around widened.
“I can’t say exactly how it happened, but the class listed in my status window is Mage. I still don’t know many spells I can use, but I’m an ordinary person just like all of you. I’ve run away because I was afraid of those things, and I’ve hidden because I didn’t want to face them. At first it may have been luck, but if you fight without fear, you gain things. If our group grows stronger, all of us can grow stronger, and eventually we may even be able to escape this place. We need to move more proactively.”
“Ooooooh….”
“For now, we’ll start by taking two people with us as a test run. White.”
“Ah….”
“And Hye-Young.”
“Yes. Please take good care of us.”
“We’ll be taking the two of you first. Once the two of you have reached a stable level, we’ll split into groups again and bring along the next people. Any questions?”
“I’d appreciate it if you could explain what criteria you used to choose us.”
“Potential. And also to ease everyone’s anxiety.”
“Going hunting on our own….”
“I don’t want to suppress your free will, but I can’t recommend it.”
The murmuring around us continued, but I couldn’t hear it properly.
More than that, Park Hye-Young—that woman—came into view.
I’d heard someone else would be going too, but I hadn’t expected her to be part of it.
“Congratulations, unni.”
“You mustn’t get hurt.”
“Since Hyunsung, Kiyoung, and Deokgu are going too, I’m sure it’ll be fine. It’s a little scary, but I’ll just have to get through it. It’s a good thing if more people can fight.”
She was being congratulated while surrounded by people. I wasn’t jealous. It was just that something felt strangely off.
Don’t take her away.
Hurrying, I looked back up at the stage, and saw that Oppa was looking at Park Hye-Young too.
A faint smile touched his lips.
Of course I kept thinking about the voice I’d heard earlier, and my breathing kept growing ragged.
Because she’s the type people get tired of.
Park Hye-Young ran up onto the stage and started shaking hands with the others.
She’ll be abandoned.
She’ll be taken away from you.
Your sisters abandoned you, didn’t they?
Your parents too.
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
You’ll end up….
Stop….
Abandoned….
No.
And then, the moment Oppa took Park Hye-Young’s hand.
I felt something collapse inside me.
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