The Regressor Has It Easy (3)
The Regressor Has It Easy (3)
"Are you sure about this?"
That was the first thing Choi Ji-won said after hearing my plan. When I returned to reality, she was waiting as if it was only natural, and I had explained the plan to her.
For the record, Floor 17 Ji-won experienced was exactly the same as mine, except that there were only women there. I wasn't sure why, but it seemed like they had split it this time by gender.
"So... you said repeating regressions on Floor 15 caused problems. And on top of that, an angel is standing by there?"
I was aware of what worried Ji-won. The old man I met on Floor 15 had warned me, "Do not overuse regression when an angel is present." He said my regression could be exposed to those who wield God's power.
"I have a plan of my own."
But it was something I was already sufficiently wary of. To be precise, I thought I could manage it without a major crisis.
"First of all... I won't get close to the angel. The angel appears after walking a bit from the starting point anyway."
"...And?"
"And during the process, there won't be anything tying me to the angel. I'll just loop regressions the moment I set foot on Floor 17. We won't even see each other's faces, much less talk."
"Hmm..."
"Honestly, I'm a little scared. If someone can handle mana well enough, they can implant an image into someone else's head."
If I let my imagination run a bit, you could neutralize someone at a distance with mana... implant nonexistent memories... or, in the worst case, kill them. I figure debating the limits of 'mana' in a fantasy setting is a losing game.
"Building up resistance now will definitely pay off later. What if some floor shows up with high ambient mana pressure? You'd just have to endure it. Better to train your resistance while you can."
"Hmmmm..."
Ji-won looked deep in thought. I noticed her mind was already leaning toward "let's do it."
"If not now, when? Right?"
"Hmmmmmmm..."
"So we're doing it? It's fine, right?"
"...Fine."
I ended up looking like a married man who needed permission from the Minister of the Interior, but... what did it matter.
"Good to go."
Having taken my time to prepare, I regressed.
To understand the power called 'mana.'
[You have taken damage.]
[Regressing to the moment you first entered Floor 17.]
***
I see nothing. Smell nothing. Feel nothing.
"..."
No, that's not right. Even if I can't see, even if I can't touch, there is one thing I can sense. Myself.
Even floating in this colorless space, I can feel my own body. Maybe it's because I've been through this before. Or maybe it's because I'm concentrating on mana.
Something feels strange. A situation where I sense nothing but myself is deeply awkward.
"How much do you know about yourself?"
A voice rang out just then, a man's voice that bored straight into my brain. Now I needed to resist it... but how exactly do I do that?
"Humans often labor under the illusion that 'the one who knows me best is myself.' Usually, it's nothing but a delusion. Again, how much do you know about yourself?"
If I heard with my ears, I could just cover them. If I saw with my eyes, I could just close them. So how do I block language that's hammered into my head as mana?
"Grr..."
I tried wrapping my body in mana, wrapping my head, and shifting it around, but nothing changed. If anything, the nausea and dizziness only got worse.
That was when I remembered something I had briefly forgotten.
I'm... not a genius.
"Only a handful of people possess a complete understanding of themselves. Are you counted among them?"
The man's words were nearing their end. Growing impatient, I funneled mana toward my head and shaped it into a barrier. I figured the brain was the key, one way or another.
"...!"
A wave of nausea hit me, worse than anything before, and I felt blood trickle from my nose.
"...Ah."
I lost consciousness in an instant.
[You have taken damage.]
[Regressing to the moment you first entered Floor 17.]
***
"How much do you know about yourself?"
I try covering my ears.
Failure.
"How much do you know about yourself?"
Messing with the brain... carries risk, so I try blocking mana all along the outside of my body.
Failure.
"How much do you know about yourself?"
The power called mana is strange. It has no substance, yet when you infuse it with will, it affects reality. Where does this subtle difference come from?
"How much do you know about yourself?"
In the first place, a formless power can become fire, become ice, and even produce lightning. How is that possible?
"How much do you know about yourself?"
I don't know about mana. No, I don't know much about myself either. I don't even understand how this regression actually works. The more I agonize, the more I realize there's so much I don't know.
"How much do you know about yourself?"
"I don't..."
"Only a handful of people possess a complete understanding of themselves. Are you counted among them?"
"I don't think so..."
By now, I've grown somewhat accustomed to this space where I feel nothing but myself. The sensation of drifting through the universe is surprisingly addictive—I can even enjoy it now. If only I could do something about the dizziness.
Back to mana...
How do I control mana? My brain? No. My heart? No. Anyone who handles mana directly can tell. The power to control mana is 'will.'
"How much do you know about yourself?"
Then, again.
Where does will come from? Is it just a chemical reaction in the brain? Or is it...
"Soul."
A resonance of the soul.
Soul.
Soul.
Why can I maintain my mana proficiency despite regressing?
Why does my skill in handling mana increase the more I regress?
In this empty space, this space where nothing can be sensed, what is the entity that enables me to feel myself?
"How much do you know about yourself?"
Gradually, I feel my vision opening.
I'd come to understand the truth of the body through martial training. I'd grasped my own ego through repeated regressions.
But over all that long time, how indifferent was I toward the soul—what could be called my true self?
"Soul."
Savoring that echo, I closed my eyes. It wasn't that I shut my physical eyes. I closed my senses that were perceiving the surroundings in this space.
Because this space is empty, I can feel it even more clearly.
The "me" that is spread throughout every corner of my body. The thin thread of mana connected near the back of my head. That thread pulsing and shaking my mana.
I didn't know much about myself. But if I don't know, isn't that something I can learn? It's not too late even now.
The moment I opened my eyes, I severed the thread of mana.
"Ah."
And then there was reality. A reality where the wind blows, the trees sway, and I can feel my hands, my feet, and the pulse of my heart.
Satisfying. So that's what it was.
It wasn't about blocking my body. I didn't have to block my ears, or block my head, or protect my brain.
Soul.
I had to protect my own soul, spread throughout every corner of my body, to shield myself from mana.
Why was I able to handle mana well in the first place? If it had been a matter of the body, my proficiency would have been reset with every regression.
"Hoo..."
With a pleasant exhale, I used mana to trace my soul.
I've never seen anyone else's soul, so I can't judge its condition... It's a little warped, a little wounded, a little worn.
But at its core, it shone brightly—a light so intense that the minor scars were easy to overlook.
Well, how could a person be perfect? What matters in the grand scheme is that you're moving in the right direction.
My direction had not faltered. I had not yet been distorted. The way I was advancing was the correct path. Confirming that, and at the same time feeling like I understood the power of 'mana' a little more, I was satisfied.
Having the path I'd walked so far be acknowledged was more joyful than I'd expected.
"Uh, uhh..."
But that joy didn't last. The aloof angel guarding the rock in the distance suddenly came rushing over, all flustered.
"Oh no...?"
She swept her gaze across every inch of the area, but couldn't seem to find what she wanted. After checking the fallen people, then even touching the ground and trees, she finally spoke to me.
"Excuse me... Climber?"
"Yes?"
"Did anything... strange happen here? Space distorting, someone disappearing, ominous tentacles sprouting?"
"...No?"
Out of nowhere? Nothing like that happened. As far as I could tell, this place was the same as always. A nice, quiet forest. Is something wrong?
"Hmmmm..."
With a worried sigh, the angel touched two fingers to her ear and started mumbling, as if giving up.
"Ah... Administrator? Yes, yes. I'm sorry for using this line without permission. But that thing... Ah. You said he's not here. Oh..."
It seemed she was in communication with a superior, and her expression darkening by the second made it clear the problem was escalating.
"Understood. I will stand by. Yes..."
The angel ended the call. A moment later, a white light shone in midair, and an angel with a sharp look, wearing glasses, revealed herself.
"A pleasure. I am the proxy of the Archangel, and a management Angel."
"...Is there a position called management Angel?"
"As roles and systems differ per Archangel, I can't comment on that. Now, if you'll excuse me a moment."
The sharp-eyed angel stared at me closely, tapping at something in the air, then tilted her head from side to side as if something didn't make sense.
"Eh... uh?"
The management angel's originally expressionless face slowly soured too. The other angel, already troubled, turned ashen.
"Argh... of all times..."
"What is it? What's going on?"
"Well, you see... the problem is you, Climber."
"...I'm the problem?"
"Yes."
The management angel nodded reluctantly.
"From what I'm reading... it shows that you, the Climber, have not yet entered Floor 17."
"...What?"
"Exactly as you heard. System-wise, Climber, you are currently flagged as having cleared Floor 16 and not yet entered Floor 17."
The management angel scratched the back of her head as if this was a headache. Still not understanding, I asked again.
"Wh-what does that mean?"
"It means that even if we wanted to open the clear portal for you to return to Floor 1... it's impossible, because you've never entered Floor 17 in the first place..."
"...Does that make any sense?"
"I'm not sure myself..."
What the hell was this...?