The Regressor Wanders (12)
The Regressor Wanders (12)
"Toothbrush... underwear... am I forgetting anything?"
"There are socks here."
"Ah, thank you."
Choi Ji-won packed her belongings into a large suitcase, tidying up little by little.
"...I guess I've gotten used to this place too."
Midway through packing, she jumped onto my bed, buried her nose in the blanket, and took a deep breath of its scent.
"Now... this smell feels more familiar. This place feels like my home."
"..."
I didn't say it out loud, but... I had grown accustomed to the scent of Choi Ji-won's cosmetics. Once she was gone, that absence would be the first thing I noticed.
"Are you going?"
"I have to."
That was it. Choi Ji-won was getting ready to move out of my studio. We'd discovered that my regression condition was intense emotions, so to avoid getting too used to each other, she was going to stay away for a while.
We had already finished the dates needed to satisfy the regression condition. All that remained was waiting for the monster to appear. Since that waiting period was a full ten months, this was how we prepared for our separation.
"Jun-ho, I'm not going on a trip, you know? We have to work hard on gathering information. We're not going to go through ten months apart twice, are we? Since we're doing this, let's make it count."
"Of course. I've got a plan ready too. But... an occasional text should be fine, right?"
"An occasional one would probably be okay? It might even make it more tantalizing and exciting."
The plan was simple. Gather as much information as possible over ten months. We decided not to climb the Tower for safety's sake, and promised to do our best in our respective areas.
"Ah, done."
Ziiiip.
As soon as the suitcase zipper closed, Choi Ji-won's packing was finished.
"Now... I really have to go..."
She slipped on her shoes, then turned her head and gave a soft smile.
Watching Choi Ji-won leave with her luggage... I suddenly remembered the friend who had gotten dead drunk and sobbed when his girlfriend went abroad to study. The feelings he must have had were probably the same as what I was feeling now. Even though I knew it wasn't a permanent goodbye, even though I knew it was necessary, I couldn't shake the regret.
"...What's with that face? You're making me waver too."
"What kind of face is it?"
"Like a dog drenched in water."
"...In that case, wouldn't it be better to say like a puppy?"
"Nah, not a puppy."
Having finished putting on her shoes, Choi Ji-won opened her arms at the front door. I approached her for a light hug, followed by a brief kiss.
If we kept this up... I felt like I might really tell her not to go, so I forced myself to turn around.
"Well then... see you in ten months."
"Yeah. I'll be in touch."
To greet a better future, we parted for now.
**
The absence Choi Ji-won left behind was large. Far larger than I had expected.
When I woke up in the morning, the fact that I was alone felt awkward. The chilly studio apartment with no sign of anyone felt unfamiliar.
Even without conversation, a person fills a space with subtle sounds of life. The absence of those sounds... kept bothering my sharpened senses.
Having had a lover and then no longer having one was unbearably lonely. I was relieved this loneliness was temporary, but I was afraid of the future that would come if regression with Choi Ji-won got blocked. When that time came, would I truly go insane? It already felt like I had mild mental illness symptoms.
Falling asleep alone at night was not easy, and even when I wanted to borrow the power of alcohol, my strengthened body refused to succumb to something like alcohol. Medicine wouldn't work on me either, which was an added bonus. Now I'd ended up with a body that couldn't even get drunk and pass out when I wanted to.
During this period, I think I managed about two hours of sleep every other day.
However, they say humans are animals of adaptation. A week passed, two weeks passed, and being alone became somewhat bearable. Actually, there were some things I could enjoy precisely because I was alone.
Of course, cooking and eating by myself always reminded me of Choi Ji-won's absence. But... I still had two billion won in the bank, and these days, delivery food was excellent. (Choi Ji-won had refused to take the money, saying her father's inheritance was enough.)
Around the time my body was gradually adapting and my mind had calmed down somewhat, my daily routine consisted of lying in bed all day looking at my phone. Occasionally I went out to meet acquaintances, but the time I spent at home was overwhelmingly greater.
Ostensibly, I was surfing the internet for 'information gathering'... but deep down, I was mulling over worries again and again.
Years from now. If Association Chairman Michael Jeter suddenly developed a mental illness and set out to destroy the Earth... could I stop him? Even if it wasn't Michael Jeter, if a powerhouse of a similar caliber went insane, was there any way to stop it?
There are two main scenarios. First: Choi Ji-won and I, having foreseen the catastrophe through regression, ambush that player and successfully subdue him.
And second... due to some bizarre entanglement of the regression point, Earth is destroyed before Choi Ji-won and I can reach the player in question. Or, that player is so strong that even Choi Ji-won and I cannot win, and Earth is destroyed.
"The risk is too great."
No matter how I thought about it, once time passes, it's too late. The stronger each individual's power becomes, the more precarious humanity's fate will be.
Here, the solutions are likewise two. First: before other players get their hands on the power to destroy human civilization, I conquer the Tower all the way to the end.
And second.
"..."
Before they can destroy the world, kill the ones who show signs of it in advance. The method the old man recommended is this latter approach.
To be blunt, I find this method incredibly, incredibly repulsive. Who am I to distinguish between people who deserve to die and those who don't? By what right do I decide someone else's fate?
But the old man, who had thought the same way as me, met an ending of ruin as the price. Before talking with the old man, I would never have chosen this method, but after hearing his story, my worries deepened.
"As for Ji-won..."
If I asked Choi Ji-won, she would probably strongly oppose it. She might even get angry, saying she was greatly disappointed in me. Because she would choose the gentle path even if it meant regressing an enormous number of times.
I don't think Choi Ji-won's way is bad. Rather, I think it is precisely because she is so righteous and noble that I can keep my sanity.
However... I think a regressor must always prepare for the worst. Without going insane, one must stay on guard for situations where one might go insane. Without going around killing people recklessly, one must be ready to kill people.
I will not carry out the old man's method. But I will prepare myself to be able to carry it out, to some extent.
"...Viewing it broadly, this could also be called information gathering."
How the global situation is moving... Choi Ji-won will probably be able to investigate far better than I can. She had connections with the Association, and she was the one players around the world wanted to get close to.
In that case, I will... investigate the players. I will look into who has what inclinations, what ideologies they hold, and what personalities they have.
Naturally, it won't be easy. It is clearly not something I can handle alone.
However, among the humans I know, there is one person who, like the old man, had argued that 'those who need to be killed should be removed in advance.'
"Asai Yūki."
"That voice... Jun-ho?"
"I can send you a plane ticket... so come to Korea."
The Death God, known publicly as dead—Asai Yūki.
For information gathering, there would be no assistant like him.
**
The Death God, Asai Yūki, as if he had been waiting for my summons, immediately dropped out of school and came to Korea. In his own words, he said, 'I explained it well to my family so they could understand.' ...I have no idea how well that crazy kid could have explained it.
"Who is the person I must kill?"
"...There is no such person."
"W-what do you mean? You clearly said that I have the qualities of a hero, that you were preparing a role for me..."
Right. Come to think of it, I had run my mouth off saying I saw heroic qualities in him and whatnot. I had been so dizzy with thoughts of Choi Ji-won and the old man that I'd completely forgotten.
"...I meant there is no one to kill right now. What we need to do now is strengthen our foundation. From now on... I need you to investigate the accomplished players around the world."
"By accomplished players, you mean..."
"Famous players. Strong players. Or if not, players who give you a certain feeling. Secretly look into them... and report the results to me."
"Secretly... you mean."
"That goes without saying."
"...Understood."
Yūki nodded eagerly, his face flushed. He seemed to be trying not to show it, but I could read from his expression that he was extremely excited about being entrusted with a secret mission.
"Then, first, I will begin with the Japanese players, whom I know best."
"Good. Report regularly."
After the Death God left with his mission, I took out my phone from my pocket and left a text message for Kang Chan. It was to say I wanted to have a meal with him sometime soon.
"...First, I should get to know the ones I'm relatively close with."
Starting with Kang Chan, I began to have frequent get-togethers with the players I knew. Every single day I left messages asking how they were doing, spent time together, laughed and chatted.
"Kim Jun-ho. Would you like to join my guild?"
Kang Chan wanted to recruit me into his guild, but I refused for the time being. Even without me adding my strength, his guild was growing smoothly enough, and rumors were already spreading that Kang Chan was a monstrous powerhouse.
Through him, I met Ahn Gyeong-nam, Ahn Gyeong-jun, Yun Jung-hyun, Park Cheol-jin, and other Korean players introduced through mutual connections. Encounters led to new encounters, and I realized that the Korean player community was far larger than I had imagined.
At some point, I came to be known as a well-connected figure in Korea. Once the rumor spread that I was a valued acquaintance of the currently thriving Kang Chan, the number of people wanting to meet me increased exponentially. Seeing how much attention Kang Chan brought, I was curious what would have happened if the rumor that I was Choi Ji-won's boyfriend had spread.
"Ah, Jun-ho, big bro! Hello!"
"Hey, I'm younger than you. Why are you calling me big bro?"
"Come on, after you wash your face, you become a big bro. You sure are."
The days blended together: building friendships with Korean players and, in between, receiving the Death God's reports to learn the personal details of other players. And when I say the days blended together, I mean time flew by.
In the blink of an eye, five months—half of the promised ten—had passed.
"...Jun-ho. Can we talk on the phone for a bit? I just... wanted to catch up on how things have been."
A call came from Choi Ji-won.