The Regressor Wanders (9)
The Regressor Wanders (9)
"Climbers stake their lives... so it's only fair that the rest of humanity stakes theirs too. Don't you agree?"
The old man wore a clear smile I'd never seen, not even through all my regressions.
"The rest of humanity may be summoned into the Tower someday too, so you could say they're staking their lives all the same. In the end, it's simply a matter of perspective."
After that awkward hedging, he picked up his hammer and began fiddling with the stone. Someone who didn't know any better would have let it pass, but by now I'd grown familiar enough with the old man to sense something was off.
"Could you explain that a bit more?"
"Explain what? I was only speaking in generalities."
He must have realized he'd slipped. No matter how much I pressed, no satisfying answer came. Once someone accidentally reveals their true thoughts, they tend to become extremely guarded.
Still, simply grasping the old man's philosophy was a tremendous gain. I could regress. I could meet the old man again — the one who wasn't being so guarded.
The old man was hiding something enormous. I felt certain, and I decided to trust that certainty.
From that point on, I began brainwashing myself. I hated humanity except for players. I believed climbers were exceptional. I held the same philosophy as the old man.
"You say you hate how the rest of humanity seems to ride on the climbers' backs? Now, that's no way for a person to think."
At first, my acting must have been clumsy, because the wall the old man had put up between us didn't come down. Our views might have been similar, but I was still a stranger to him, and he wasn't soft enough to trust someone after a few words.
"You dislike people... It happens. At times like that, spending some time alone will set you right."
Yet with each regression, my understanding of the old man —
"You resent those who cleared the Tutorial but refuse to climb? Heh heh, it's only natural — watching someone squander an opportunity is painful."
Gradually —
"Diligence, yes. Diligence is the greatest talent of all. You understand a few things, don't you?"
Deepened.
"No comrades? Hmm... why not try making some even now? You might come to regret it otherwise."
The old man was lonely. He was alone, and that fact tormented him.
"You mustn't trust others too much. In the end, the only one you can rely on is yourself."
And at the same time, he didn't trust humanity.
"There are... more foolish people in the world than one would think. Expecting everyone to be rational and reasonable — that is a foolish thing to do."
The old man liked talented, diligent people. As a corollary, he loathed the stupid and the idle.
"You think I'm remarkable? No, not at all. I'm merely... a shabby old man."
The old man... loathed himself.
My regressions had begun as a means to uncover the exact structure of Floor 15... but the more I regressed, the more it felt as though the bond between us was growing deeper.
As a person, the old man wasn't bad to me. He enjoyed jokes, knew how to be considerate, and was wise and thoughtful. The problem was that he also despised and loathed the lowly among humanity.
What had made this old man the way he was? How had he come to design the Tower's trials like this?
"Jun-ho."
"Yes?"
"Have we met before?"
Had my inner turmoil shown on my face? The old man suddenly asked if we were old acquaintances.
"...No? What makes you say that?"
"It's just... you feel oddly familiar. Heh heh, forgive me. What an undignified thing to say to a young man I've only just met."
At some point, he stopped urging me to enter the blue portal. Our conversations before each regression grew longer, and I could feel a subtle shift in the way he looked at me.
"Jun-ho... you're okay, right? You haven't completely lost your mind or anything?"
"Of course. I told you, I'm acting."
Choi Ji-won told me I seemed off, but... I couldn't stop here. A little more... just a little more, and I felt I could uncover everything about Floor 15.
Then, one day, amidst the repeated regressions.
"Jun-ho."
"Yes?"
"It's awkward to say this on a first meeting... but I sense a kinship with you."
"A kinship?"
"Perhaps it would be fitting to say... you remind me of myself in my younger days."
The old man stopped tapping the stone and gazed at me quietly.
"But... that is precisely what I find so strange."
"What is?"
"Your misanthropy... isn't something that should run this deep after only fifteen floors. The Tower appeared just half a year ago. What made you this way?"
"I was betrayed. I met many liars as well."
"..."
The old man narrowed his eyes.
Truthfully, not a word he said was wrong. A young man in his twenties, viewing the world with cynicism and steeped in hatred of humanity — and yet climbing the Tower with everything he had. No matter how you looked at it, wasn't that strange?
This was a sticking point that persisted even through many regressions. Sympathizing with the old man and building rapport was fine. But if I truly sympathized with him, that in itself was suspicious.
In the end, the method I chose... was to mix the greater truth with a little lie.
"In the Tutorial, I was betrayed by the Goblin Shaman. Every human I'd tried to protect starved to death horribly. I lost a comrade there, someone I'd survived the crisis with, and I had to clear the Tutorial alone."
The story of being betrayed by the Goblin Shaman in the Tutorial.
"On Floor 2, there were those who forced losses on others for their own gain — by blocking the way forward."
The story of facing the punks blocking the road on Floor 2.
"On Floor 3, a comrade I trusted stabbed me in the back. At the very end, she insisted on taking the reward all for herself."
The story of Dok Su-hee claiming the reward solely for herself on Floor 3.
Beyond that, I told him about Floor 4, Floor 11, Floor 12, Floor 13 — the countless scenes of human nature I'd witnessed, and how watching them had made me lose faith in people.
I left out the regression, but there were no lies in the stories themselves. No — the old man's philosophy had already been dormant inside me. I hated the useless players who only dragged others down. I hated the civilians who consumed players as content rather than helping them. I hated the players who holed up on Floor 1, complacent with a few useful abilities. I hated the people who refused to understand my will to help. Perhaps the old man had listened to me because my words held truth.
If not for Choi Ji-won... I might have ended up just like this old man. The thought struck me suddenly.
"..."
"..."
When my long story ended, silence settled over the mountaintop. Without a word, we gazed up at the black sky.
The one who broke the silence was the old man, with a remark that bordered on lamentation.
"You have terrible luck. To suffer ordeal after ordeal that most people would struggle to experience even once..."
"I think so too."
"Why did you tell me all this?"
He lowered his gaze from the dark sky — where a single sun hung alone — and looked at me. The reason was obvious. To uncover the truth about Floor 15 and prepare for the future. To discern this old man's intent.
"...I don't know."
At first, that had been the goal. But now... I wasn't sure. The truth was, I'd already figured it out. The statues on Floor 15 would become monsters and descend upon the Earth. Knowing this old man, that was exactly how he would have designed the floor. If I'd only wanted information, I could have stopped regressing long ago.
If I'd still poured my story out despite that... it must mean I'd come to sympathize with this old man, at least to some degree.
"I have... always cleared the Tower in a way that saves as many people as possible. There are people I dislike, and people I resent... but they're still people. I believed saving them was my duty."
"..."
"But sometimes... I hate people. I don't want to save them. I know that once you cross that line, there's no coming back... and yet I want to do as I please anyway."
I'd already told Choi Ji-won the same thing. When I did, she'd asked me, "If you go through with it, won't you regret it later?"
"To be human... is to have such moments."
But the old man, rather than denying me, nodded in affirmation.
"When you watch others commit foolish acts — that is when such thoughts arise. That is what it means to be human. When everyone is suffering together and you see someone acting selfishly alone... you naturally think: that wretch deserves to die."
The old man placed his left hand on the ground. The moment his palm touched the stone floor —
-Thrum.
The world... pulsed. I couldn't say exactly what had changed, but something had definitely changed. I could feel it.
"But... you mustn't. If you do, you'll end up a foolish old man like me."
A trickle of blood ran from the old man's nose. I tried to ask if he was all right, but my body wouldn't move and no voice came out.
"I... believed I could bear everything alone. I believed that I, of all people, was the hero who would save everyone. But I was wrong. Jun-ho... I hope you do not follow the same path I walked."
Without even glancing at me, he wiped away the blood and unsteadily rose to his feet.
"Where do you think the Tower's residents come from? The goblins... the orcs... the humans... the elves... the dwarves... where did they come from? Have you ever considered it?"
"..."
"We..."
He slowly closed the eyes that had been gazing up at the sky and spoke.
"Are the survivors of worlds that failed to climb the Tower to its end."