The Regressor Gets Stronger (1)
The Regressor Gets Stronger (1)
The blue ticket in my hand. This was the A-rank Trait Selection Ticket, the reward for Difficulty [40].
"Here, there's more."
That wasn't all. There was the All-Purpose Pellet from choosing [10] in the first test, and the Random Trait Box (Unique) from choosing [20] in the second test. Choi Ji-won shoved every reward she had received into my hands.
"Did you... clear everything on the highest difficulty?"
"Isn't that obvious?"
"...Yeah, it is."
Right. 'That' Choi Ji-won wouldn't get stuck on Floor 12. I'd been forgetting something fundamental. Ever since she became able to wield the 'Heart of Lightning,' Choi Ji-won had grown stronger than me. And without the penalty of regressing from a single hit, she must have breezed through Floor 12 like it was cake.
"Honestly, Difficulty [40] wasn't that hard. I didn't even need to activate the 'Heart of Lightning.' The mannequin's swordsmanship was decent but inferior to mine, and its physical abilities were way behind. I think any top-ranking player could manage up to [40]."
Choi Ji-won shrugged casually. Judging by the faint vibration from Boongboong-yi resting near the entrance, the sword seemed to agree with her.
"Take these, get stronger quick, and after you regress once, I'll use them. That's the advantage of regression, right? Traits stick around."
Choi Ji-won handed over all the rewards with a bright smile. I knew how invaluable her support was, and how much goodwill was packed into it.
"..."
But I couldn't bring myself to accept them with a smile.
"Um... Ji-won."
"Yeah."
"I know saying this might disappoint you, or make you think I'm really pathetic..."
Still, I had to say it. I didn't want to lie to Choi Ji-won.
"I'm scared."
"...Of what?"
"I'm scared that I'm relying on you too much."
I'd just laid my weakness bare despite her all-out support. Choi Ji-won listened quietly, no reaction on her face.
"You've probably noticed... but my mental state isn't normal right now. I'm only barely holding on because of you."
I'd felt it this time on Floor 12. My condition was precarious. I'd thought about slaughtering every last troll on Floor 12 more than once or twice. If I'd actually followed through, I'd probably have collected all the rewards by now.
But this Tower was created to pass judgment on humanity. No matter what others do, I at least have to walk the right path. I understand that perfectly well... but the temptation to take the easy way keeps pulling at me.
Right now, apart from my tiny circle of relationships, everyone else might as well be strangers. They were like robots, repeating the same actions every time I regressed. No—by that logic, everyone except Choi Ji-won is a stranger. I still don't know the names of the players I met on Floor 12. I wasn't interested.
Just as some players treat otherworlders in the Tower as NPCs... I was treating everyone except Choi Ji-won like NPCs too. That's why I could casually entertain the abhorrent idea of murder. Nobody feels guilty for killing an NPC in a game.
"And my talent... honestly, it's nowhere near yours."
Setting regression aside, my current strength is about a step behind Choi Ji-won's. But Choi Ji-won is a genuine genius. I'm relatively talented for an ordinary person, but I fall far short of her. Right now, I'm keeping pace with her through repeated regressions... but what if I eventually hit a wall? What if the gap grows so wide I can't even come close to her?
I have to admit it. Choi Ji-won isn't the flawless hero I once imagined when I thought of the 'Choi Ji-won of the Tutorial,' but she's still a polymath born with top-tier talent among humanity. Kim Jun-ho is just an ordinary guy who got lucky and rolled an EX-rank trait.
And yet here I am, leaning heavily on Choi Ji-won. First emotionally, and now even in terms of combat strength.
Guilt, gratitude, shame, inferiority—all those feelings churned inside me. I was afraid that no matter how hard I tried, I wouldn't be able to repay her kindness. That I would end up in a situation where I couldn't give anything back.
"So what I'm saying is... how about we take a solid year off before training? Eat good food, put down the burden of saving the world or whatever... just mess around without a care. Wouldn't my mental state recover in a year? We could observe how the world is moving, gather some info while we're at it."
That's why I wanted to run away. I wanted to settle into this happiness. I wanted to enjoy this moment, where our relationship felt equal. I made the suggestion with that hidden intent.
"Jun-ho."
"Yeah?"
"You know, you said something similar to me in the Tutorial."
"Did I?"
"Yeah. You asked if we couldn't just go to the next stage together, with me keeping my memories."
"...Now that you mention it, I guess I did."
"We're lovers, but I think of us as comrades climbing the Tower together. Ah, including Boongboong-yi."
Choi Ji-won got up from her seat and picked up Boongboong-yi from the entrance.
"And do I—the person you praise as so 'amazing'—look like someone who'd ditch a comrade just because they got weaker?"
"...No."
"I've had similar worries, you know."
She laid Boongboong-yi gently across her lap.
"I think I was born with a fair amount of talent too... but my dad was even more incredible than me. People came looking for him from all over the world. He was really famous in the kendo world. So, you know what I was most scared of?"
"What?"
"Disappointing my dad. Other people called me a genius, said I picked things up fast even though I started kendo late, but I could never satisfy myself. I was terrified that this level wouldn't be enough in my dad's eyes. The pressure got so bad, I even thought about quitting kendo."
"..."
"Of course, my dad would have loved me even if I had no talent at all. I was just scaring myself. I think your case is exactly the same. Just do it. There's no way I'd hate you just because you failed."
"What if I fail so completely that no amount of effort can fix it? What if I try every possible method and still can't handle the cold mana?"
"Then you give up. You find another way."
Choi Ji-won spoke about giving up as if it were nothing.
"You seem to think I'm some invincible superhuman... don't you remember how I failed on Floor 4?"
"...I remember."
"Back then, I was sad and felt ashamed... but I wouldn't have regretted it. Because I did everything I could. If you pour everything you have into it, you can hold your head high even if you fail."
You can hold your head high even if you fail. Since I'm a regressor, my bar for 'failure' is far higher, and my definition of 'best effort' is absurdly skewed... but I understood what Choi Ji-won was trying to say.
"Honestly, I don't care if we rest for a year, ten years, or until we get old and die. All that matters is that we're faithful to each moment and give it our best. You have all the time in the world because of regression, right? You can't just work hard nonstop. Sometimes you have to rest. But even when you rest, I think your eyes should always stay on the goal."
"..."
"So, I'll ask again. Did you really want to rest? Or were you just scared of disappointing me?"
"...It was both. But I think the second one mattered more."
Choi Ji-won was right. Even if the path winds around, even if I trip and fall—as long as I keep giving it my best. What if I can't handle cold mana? Then I'll fight without mana. What if I lack talent? Then I'll crush everything with items and traits.
Choi Ji-won wouldn't be disappointed just because I had no talent. She'd be truly disappointed if I got scared in advance and gave up.
And I didn't want to disappoint Choi Ji-won. I didn't want to disappoint myself.
"Thanks, Ji-won. I think you knocked some sense into me."
"Don't mention it. Later, when I'm struggling... you can help me then. That's what lovers are for, isn't it?"
Choi Ji-won smiled benevolently. When you got down to it, Choi Ji-won was also my teacher. I learned swordsmanship from her.
So she's my teacher, comrade, and lover. That's a weird ring to it.
"But Ji-won."
"Yeah?"
"How about we rest for just two weeks?"
"Ha, honestly."
After Choi Ji-won let out a laugh of disbelief, and after we had rested for exactly two weeks.
"...I'll be right back."
"I'll be waiting."
I had finished every preparation.
[You have taken damage.]
[Regressing to the moment you first entered Floor 12.]
***
"...Hoo."
An interior of pure white. The starting point of Floor 12—so familiar it was starting to make me sick. If I had to compare it to something, it felt like returning to the barracks after an endless leave.
I rolled my neck side to side to loosen it up, slowly circled my shoulders, then straightened my back to finish stretching.
Crack. Cra-ack.
I cracked my knuckles one by one, fully readying myself. Until now, I'd consciously avoided cracking my knuckles for fear of regressing, but this time I had nothing to lose, so I just went for it. Huh, so that won't make me regress.
Anyway, with my mental preparation complete, I pulled an Elixir from subspace and downed it without hesitation. The clear, crisp energy spread instantly. Even the cold around my solar plexus felt noticeably subdued.
The plan was set.
I would use the cold mana. Circulate it through my body, coat my weapon with it, project it outward—every possible application of mana. Regressing in the process was inevitable. A foregone conclusion.
But I wouldn't give up just because I regressed. I would pour everything I had, as long as my willpower held out, to learn to control this mana 'properly'.
I have a goal.
To climb to the top of this Tower and save all of humanity.
At first, it was just because it seemed cool. Because I'd received the broken ability of regression, I moved out of a sense of responsibility. But now it's different.
"Let's see who wins."
I strive to stand tall before myself. Until I conquer this mana.