The Regressor Makes an Effort (10)
The Regressor Makes an Effort (10)
In truth, there is no such thing as a lazy genius.
A genius is someone who learns ten things when taught one. Someone who grasps the answer to a problem others agonize over as if it were self-evident.
Yet even a genius is a being who learns. If someone knows things without learning, that is not a genius—that is a reincarnator or someone possessed. Geniuses simply learn at an astonishing speed.
People often say that so-and-so is a genius, that they inherited their talent, that they trampled on others' hard work with innate brilliance. But the geniuses at the very top of their field are more likely to have worked harder than anyone else. They are more likely to have devoted their lives to blooming their own talent.
And if I were to name one defining trait of such geniuses—
"Then tell me. What exactly is different between the Tutorial and now?"
Self-worth. Self-love. Self-assurance.
To put it in English, their Self Esteem is staggeringly strong.
Having accomplished something in their field through innate talent plus relentless effort, they have every reason to consider themselves special. And they actually are special.
So when I implied that she was lesser than the Choi Ji-won of the Tutorial, it is only natural that she would react so fiercely.
"I... I apologize. I did speak out of turn quite badly."
That said, I have no intention of retracting what I said.
Of course, it is true that I committed a great discourtesy toward Choi Ji-won.
The most exhausting type of person in human relationships is the kind who expects things to go their way and then gets disappointed on their own terms. From the receiving end's perspective, it feels like they did nothing wrong, yet suddenly the other person has turned cold all by themselves.
But I did not expect things on my own terms. I evaluated her based on the Tutorial's Choi Ji-won whom I saw and experienced firsthand. The present Choi Ji-won is unmistakably different from the Tutorial's Choi Ji-won. No—the past version of her was better.
Of course, if I let those words slip out of my mouth, I might genuinely get slapped and regress. I bow my head repeatedly and murmur words of apology.
"Wrong and whatever aside—speak. It's not like I'm asking something difficult, is it?"
But Choi Ji-won has no intention of letting it slide. She comes at me with fire in her eyes. Hard to believe this is the same woman who was writhing in failure just moments ago.
"Sit back down. I absolutely have to hear your answer. No, it's gotten late—just come with me. Let's go to my place."
Choi Ji-won grips my wrist tightly and leads me outside the café. When we first met, it was around a late lunchtime, but now the sun has already set and the streetlamps are lit.
"Uh, uhh..."
Her grip strength is tremendous. Just to avoid regressing absurdly, I have no choice but to follow her...
**
Choi Ji-won's house turned out to be a surprisingly ordinary countryside home. I'd heard her father ran a dojo, so I expected one of those anime-style houses with the dojo right next door... but it seems the dojo is on the fourth floor of a nearby commercial building, while the house is separate.
"Drink."
She sits me at the dining table and pours milk into a glass for me with a trickling sound. She pours milk the same way into her own glass, then scoops a spoonful of supplement powder, drops it in, and stirs.
"...You take protein?"
"Yes."
After the short reply, she gulps down the protein milk right away. Seeing someone with her cold, ice-queen impression chug milk so aggressively was deeply unexpected.
"I didn't used to eat this kind of thing either."
Choi Ji-won wipes the milk from the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand.
"Back to the point. The current me versus the Tutorial's Choi Ji-won. What exactly is the difference? What is it that makes you look at me with that kind of gaze?"
"..."
Just as I found something in Choi Ji-won's gaze, she seems to have seen something in mine as well. And that's what wounded her pride.
But as I said before, I have no intention of retracting my words either.
"Well, if I had to point to the basics, there'd be a difference in strength."
The Tutorial's Choi Ji-won was almost like a sage, but the current Choi Ji-won is simply an overwhelming powerhouse. That's what I felt, anyway.
Comparable to the gap between an EX-rank hunter and an S-rank hunter. Both are undeniably impressive, but the former possessed an overwhelming presence.
"That said, part of it may be because I've grown stronger, and part because the time we've each lived has differed. This isn't particularly important."
Here's the core.
"The Tutorial's Choi Ji-won was a hero. She never gave up. Even if it meant failure, she always looked toward her ideals."
No matter the situation, the Tutorial's Choi Ji-won refused to give up. She did not crumble. Even in circumstances where everything had gone wrong and countless people had to die, she was a woman who could still smile.
"Meaning she didn't collapse the way you have now. When I first saw you at the café earlier, I thought you were a corpse. Your eyes were completely lifeless."
"That's unfair."
Choi Ji-won immediately counters.
"The 'Tutorial's Choi Ji-won' you're talking about would have despaired too. She would have shed tears. You told me the Goblin Shaman's betrayal happened in broad daylight, but you said we met again at the clearing at sunset, didn't you?"
"...Yes."
"She probably pulled herself together in between. Likely intending to propose that we swallow the Golden Orbs together and move on to the next floor. I'm someone who despairs at failure, but I'm not someone who can't overcome it."
"But..."
"And you said the Tutorial's Choi Ji-won never gave up? No. I give up quite easily. It's just that I do my absolute best first, and then I give up."
Choi Ji-won pulls Boongboong-yi from her bag and sets it down on the table with a thunk.
"If I truly hadn't given up, do you think I would have been idly chatting with you in that clearing? Wouldn't I have been running around frantically trying to do something? I listened to you because I had half given up already."
"..."
My memory of the Tutorial, now slightly faded, resurfaces. Did the Choi Ji-won of that time truly never give up? She told me 'Don't give up,' but that was after I revealed that I regress.
Seeing me chew over the memory, Choi Ji-won's voice grows louder.
"And a difference in strength? I can't understand that either."
She walks to the veranda and returns carrying a dozen or so empty protein tubs.
"Like I said earlier, I didn't used to eat this stuff. So why do you think I suddenly started? Because a superhuman body has terrible fuel economy."
As a player's stats increase and physical ability improves, the amount they eat naturally increases too. True, the length of time you can endure without eating also grows—but that doesn't mean you're a sports car that runs without fuel.
"You said you trained by repeating regressions, right? That might be why you don't know. Once a superhuman seriously starts training, the food never stops going in."
No matter how much you eat, there's no end to it. That's why the thing she forced herself to start eating was protein. After clearing the Tutorial, Choi Ji-won truly put her body through the wringer with hard work.
"You said you activated the Hero trait, but in that moment, you were stronger than me. So I worked hard too. To surpass you."
She draws Boongboong-yi, then tosses the glass that held milk earlier into the air.
"Hup!"
Shkkrrrk!
A fleeting moment passes, and the sliced glass pieces patter down onto the floor.
"..."
Yes, sliced. Not shattered. She cut the glass. In midair.
I compare the strike I just witnessed once more against the Tutorial's Choi Ji-won. If the Tutorial's Choi Ji-won felt like she was using technique to control rampaging physical ability, now she fully wields that physical ability while her technique has grown even sharper.
While I rose from F-rank to A-rank, she grew from S-rank to SS-rank. The gap between us simply narrowed.
"The past me is not a perfect person. She isn't the superhuman you imagine her to be."
Click.
Choi Ji-won sheathes Boongboong-yi back into the scabbard.
"But I am someone who improves. Whatever the Tutorial's Choi Ji-won was like, the current me is better. And that will continue to be true."
An unceasing will to improve. That was Choi Ji-won's pride. I have poked a hornet's nest.
"...The Tutorial's Choi Ji-won would have matured as a person through her trials."
"The current me is the same. The images of people dying on Floor 4 are still vivid to me. I won't forget this moment. Striving to never face the same situation again is only natural."
"The Tutorial's Choi Ji-won was always seeking a better way. For example... what if she'd written 'Don't go up to Floor 4!' in a note and had someone else deliver it to you? Doesn't that seem feasible? The Tutorial's Choi Ji-won would have thought of this method."
"I thought of that much too. I just didn't say it because I saw the feasibility as low. Here, let me explain to you the process from when I cleared Floor 3 to when I entered Floor 4. The structure makes it impossible for someone else to interfere in the first place, you see?"
"..."
I had to admit it.
That the 'Tutorial's Choi Ji-won' I held in my mind was a giant I had looked up to at my weakest moment. That she was the person who reached out to me in my hardest moment, so her presence had swelled beyond proportion inside me. That I had overvalued her because of it.
"...The Tutorial's Choi Ji-won spoke to me casually."
"I can speak casually too if I want."
Not wanting to accept it, I made one last feeble protest—but Choi Ji-won blocks it instantly.
"Kim Jun-ho. Accept it. There is nothing the Tutorial me has over the current me, except for the fact that she shares memories with you."
Thump-thump. Choi Ji-won pounds the table with her palm as she speaks. But I have something to say about that too.
"...Fine, you might be right. The current Choi Ji-won might be better than the Choi Ji-won of that time. But what about those memories you just mentioned?"
The current Choi Ji-won may have become a better person. But that does not make her more precious to me.
The Choi Ji-won who comforted me at my hardest moment, who cheered me on, who shares memories with me—that value cannot be compared to anything else.
We have long since veered away from the original point of 'the past Choi Ji-won was better than the current Choi Ji-won.' But my fundamental sorrow came from the fact that the Choi Ji-won who shared memories with me had vanished, hadn't it?
"This is the reason I was sad. Set aside all the rambling that came before—this is my true feeling."
"..."
Choi Ji-won grips Boongboong-yi tightly and mulls something over.
"So, to sum it up: you're sad because you've lost a precious friend. Is that it?"
"...Yes."
"Good."
She pulls her phone from her pocket and naturally opens the calendar app.
"You said you cleared Floor 4 perfectly, right?"
"..."
"And at the same time, you want to save me somehow, but you're agonizing because you're in a situation where you have to choose one or the other."
Bzzzt. My phone vibrates in my pocket. I take it out and check the message—Choi Ji-won has sent me an address.
"Tomorrow—no, next week. Come to my place. You've got plenty of time before you regress, right?"
"...Huh?"
"I've gotten curious too."
Her chapped lips draw a faint arc.
"What the Tutorial me saw in you."
[The Curiosity Trait activates.]