Chapter 78
Chapter 78
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 78
Chapter Title: Are You Jealous?
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When I opened my eyes, I might come to hate you.
The young Lena's voice vividly resurfaced amid the splendid music.
—It's something tied directly to a human being's dignity.
Peering into memories, invading the depths of the heart. No one would welcome such a thing. Especially not a lady as proud and noble as her. Lin swallowed his agitation and watched Lena dance. That graceful figure, painted to perfection, was elegance at best and artifice at worst. Lena Rubel was adept at adorning herself. That's why she always presented a dignified, resilient image. How would such a person react if forced to bare her unvarnished self against her will? Lin recalled Lena's retreating figure as it brushed past him.
……No.
Lin steadied himself, fearing he might get hurt. Yes, not yet. No need to jump to conclusions. Dancing with Rubid Plenus after the emperor might have been her plan. And he might have just barged in unexpectedly. Nothing was certain, so he should wait. She might come to him once the dance ended. Lin tried to think positively.
—I've always disliked that about you.
But Lena's instinctive outburst lingered in his mind, tormenting him relentlessly.
. . .
Lena danced with the yapping Rubid, managing to calm her heart somewhat. Lin had appeared too abruptly. She had planned to go see him after her dance with Nihil, but he had torn through her thoughts and shown up, startling her. Yes, that was it. It was just so sudden.
"Hey."
As Lena was busy defending her own actions to herself, Rubid suddenly asked in a grumpy tone.
"Are you for real?"
"Too profound a question to answer off the cuff."
Lena replied with a laugh to the cryptic query. Rubid, irritated by her feigned smile, added more precisely.
"Are you really the daughter of Marquis Rubel?"
Lena, who had been jesting, widened her eyes at the sharpened question. But only for a moment—she soon murmured with a peculiar glint in her eyes.
"You saw."
"Then……."
"How much did you see?"
Rubid fell silent at the near-interrogation. He suddenly recalled the moment in the tomb when Lena had covered her eyes to block him from her memories. Had he glimpsed something he shouldn't have? But that thought lasted only briefly; Rubid snapped in frustration, wondering why he should tiptoe around it.
"So what if I saw? Did I steal a peek?"
"No, I was just wondering if you'd caught something embarrassing."
Rubid clicked his tongue curtly at Lena's teasing. Then, reluctantly, he confessed.
"You living in the same house as Rubel."
"Pardon?"
"I saw it. That."
Rubid had no desire to sound defensive, so he didn't bother adding that it was all he'd seen.
"Then accept it."
"What?"
"You saw it yourself—do you need further confirmation?"
Fortunate, perhaps—Lena brushed it off with a light laugh. Rubid's expression twisted subtly in response. Just then, the music ended. Lena politely curtsied to Rubid, who had humored her, but he turned away brusquely, visibly annoyed. Parting from Rubid, Lena waited for Lin, thinking this time she could finally face him. But Lin didn't approach. Spotting him at a distance, Lena tilted her head. Had she been too curt turning away earlier? She approached him first. Lin neither retreated nor advanced, simply waiting there for her.
What's going on……?
Lena sensed something off in Lin's reaction. Her freshly settled heart began to flutter and churn again. Her steps slowed instinctively, but she gritted her teeth. She didn't want to be swayed by this much agitation. Straightening her back like Lady Lena, she strode quickly to Lin's side and stood amiably next to him, who looked down at her. As he gazed at her in surprise, she whispered a bit awkwardly.
"We haven't even had the engagement ceremony yet—can't go spreading rumors of discord."
It was a joke.
……Right.
But it didn't land as one for Lin. He murmured softly, trying to smile at Lena but maintaining his usual impassive expression amid the watchful eyes. The unfamiliar look made Lena flinch unwittingly. In that brief instant, tension crackled between them.
Lin's mood is……
Lena's expression……
They eyed each other cautiously, unaware that the other was doing the same. After a moment, Lena mustered her courage first.
"Shall we dance?"
Though the lovely lady invited him, Lin hesitated without ready agreement. As Eastern Duke, he was well-versed in social graces, but not to the point of enjoying them like the mainland nobility. Besides, pressing bodies together in public as grown adults clashed with his sensibilities. The invitation embarrassed him slightly, but he couldn't bring himself to refuse and extended his hand to Lena. At his consent, Lena elegantly placed her hand in his. She could finally regain her composure and smile faintly. But the next moment—as Lin drew her hand to his lips—Lena's smile shattered.
"Mmph……!"
She flinched with an involuntary gasp, and Lin looked up in alarm, only to panic anew at her expression. Lena looked desperate to pull her hand away. Truly wounded this time, Lin stared blankly up at her before straightening. Feigning nonchalance, he drew her hand again. Lena took a step closer, placing her hand on his shoulder. The music resumed, ushering in a sweet yet anxious time for Lena and Lin.
He said he couldn't dance.
Remembering Lin's earlier words, Lena smiled to herself. When she'd asked if he danced well, he'd said no. She'd planned to guide him diligently if he faltered, but Lin led her quite adeptly. Wondering who he'd practiced with, Lena recalled his many female friends and erased her smile.
Her expression hardened.
Meanwhile, Lin carefully stepped while trying to gauge Lena's mood. Her face didn't look pleased. He wondered if it was because of him—whether she'd approached reluctantly due to the onlookers or treated him casually as usual. At the same time, their closer-than-normal proximity made composure elusive. The scent tickling his nose was disconcerting, and her dress exposing white shoulders left nowhere safe for his eyes. Deeply troubled, Lin steadied himself and spoke.
……First time seeing it.
"Seeing what?"
"You done up like that."
Lena looked up at him, eyes wide. Her sparkling, pearl-dusted eyelids seemed endearing anew, so Lin added softly.
"Pretty."
A light compliment to ease the mood. But unwittingly, it weighed heavily on Lena, thudding into her chest. Startled, her eyes flew wide before she murmured unthinkingly.
……Looks pretty, but the one wearing it feels awfully uncomfortable.
She meant to hide her fluster, so it came out sharp. To Lin, already on edge, it chilled him predictably.
"Sorry, didn't know."
"No, no need to apologize……."
Lin apologized in surprise, and Lena shook her head in greater surprise. As if by agreement, they both fell silent. Lena felt uneasy with her already odd mood compounded by Lin's uncharacteristic caution. Lin grew increasingly anxious, convinced Lena instinctively rejected him.
What to do?
How should I……
Lost in entirely different worries over the same thing, what they craved was simply to return to how things were—no more, no less. Both yearned to break this awkward atmosphere, so after agonizing, they spoke.
"Listen."
"Earlier."
Speaking in unison, they both clamped their mouths shut. Then eyed each other again.
"You first."
"No, you go."
They yielded back and forth, dragging out time as their hearts grew ever more frantic. In the end, Lin spoke first.
……Was dancing with Rubid Plenus prearranged?
"Oh……."
Lena nearly admitted honestly it wasn't but stopped. Denying it would expose how she'd ignored him and impulsively rushed to Rubid. Instead, she paused, smiled sweetly, and deflected.
"Why do you ask?"
"Just curious."
Lin answered vaguely, adding belatedly.
……I naturally thought you'd come to me first.
His tone carried a petulant sulk. At the whisper like a whine, Lena bit her lower lip hard to keep her mouth from curving up. For some reason, her lips wanted to rise on their own. Straining, she stared blankly at Lin. His face looked a bit downcast, somehow pouting. It was so cute that she teased unwittingly.
"Are you jealous, by any chance?"
Lin stared steadily at Lena's question. Only after a long pause did he answer softly.
"Yeah."
A vile sneak attack. A lethal strike targeting her weakness, impossible to block or dodge. Caught off guard, Lena Rubel's heart crumbled defenselessly. Fatally wounded, Lena Rubel lost all functions save survival instincts.
***
Uni, dozing fitfully in the room, opened her eyes at the voices outside.
'Has the young lady returned?'
Yawning widely and rubbing her eyes, Uni saw it was already bright moonlight in the dead of night. Murmurs drifted from outside, then the door opened, revealing Lena in her splendid dress. Freshly returned, Lena crossed the room without giving Uni a chance to greet her and collapsed onto the bed.
"Ahh, young lady! How can you lie down like that!"
"My heart hurts too much."
"Pardon?"
Lena clutched her chest, mumbling incoherently, as Uni tilted her head but began unlacing the tightly bound dress from behind.
"Did you meet His Imperial Majesty safely?"
"Yes……."
"And it went well?"
"Yes……."
"And Lin escorted you to the door?"
Lena nodded, face buried in the bed. Her mind was so scattered she barely remembered getting here. She'd danced a third time vaguely and left the banquet hall, citing fatigue. Lin, her partner, had escorted her to the door, and she'd just bid him farewell before heading straight to bed.
"He's a fine master, isn't he? Do you know how grave Lin looked while you were resting?"
As Uni chattered while removing Lena's shoes, Lena flushed anew.
"But why didn't our master come in?"
Uni teased mischievously, and Lena, sprawled on the bed, finally sat up haphazardly. Noticing her troubled face at last, Uni gasped.
"Young lady? What happened?"
……Lin was too kind.
"Pardon?"
Uni tilted her head at the unintelligible words. Lena sighed deeply at her innocent face. Her mind was a mess. No—her heart was the mess, but actually, this was a simple issue. Uni adores Lena. Because she saved her. Uni was an orphan from the slums, abandoned at birth, who learned to flee before speaking. She'd somehow survived starvation and illness alone, but ended up captured by heretics as wraith fodder. Then Lena appeared, saved her, and afterward, Uni followed her like a chick after its mother hen, showering infinite affection and devotion on her protector. Gratitude and fondness for one's lifesaver was natural. The same went for Lena's newfound fluttering toward Lin—it was the same context.
"The kind Lin suddenly seems so dashing?"
At Uni's playful yet eerily sharp question, Lena smiled bitterly. As Uni said, Lin was dashing. Impossible not to like. If such a man had saved her too, feeling love beyond goodwill was entirely natural. So instead of denying instantly as before, Lena nodded, startling Uni.
"Really?"
"It's not like it can't happen."
"Pardon?"
"It's not impossible, really."
Lena murmured, as if to herself. Uni's eyes sparkled, then blinked before whispering gravely.
……Why not?
"Pardon?"
Lena had a habit of preemptively holding herself back. Especially with talk of the future—she always restricted herself. It can't be, it won't work. Uni had overlooked her unease each time. But today felt different, so she pressed unwittingly.
"It's natural to find someone dashing or to like someone. Nothing wrong with it.
Uni spoke bluntly, startling Lena feignedly. Still, Uni continued undeterred.
"I don't know everything you do, young lady. But I know you always plan to leave. So I'll speak plainly, not knowing better. Can't we just live happily together?"
Happily. The unfamiliar word brushed Lena like a cold wind.
"You, me, and Old Man if you want him included. After all the dangerous stuff ends—can't we live like that?"
The child's question was sweet yet cruel. Lena's eyes slowly shifted as if choosing words, then murmured in resignation.
"How wonderful that would be if we could."
Lena fell silent again. Before her, Uni could only swallow the words risen to her throat. Lena's forced smile looked too desolate. And thanks to Uni's question, Lena reconfirmed her plight. How foolish to flutter like this. It wasn't even worth agonizing over. Becoming each other's one-and-only was burdensome. Don't start what you can't commit to. Being someone's partner was enough for a brief dance. Because Lena Rubel had to return once her task was done. The woman returned from the grave must go back to the grave. When all was over, Lena's place wasn't in this world, but in the tomb.