Chapter 76
Translator: penny
Chapter: 76
Chapter Title: Wherever You Are
Nihil doesn’t smile. He doesn’t frown, nor does he make any expression at all. The Immortal Emperor’s face only moves when he speaks or blinks—otherwise, he always stares down at his slaves with a mask-like visage. Lin still remembered it vividly. The moment he first laid eyes on Emperor Nihil. It was back when he was a boy, visiting the imperial palace to receive his title as Eastern Duke.
“Naza’s son.”
A voice hoarse as if he’d just woken from sleep.
“You’ll take the East in Naza’s stead, you say.”
Dressed in thin garments with no regard for formality.
“Then tell me first. Is there any reason I should kill you?”
And a pair of eyes cold enough to make one shiver. That was the emperor. A blinding blizzard without direction, a beast ignorant of satisfaction, something in human form. A shattered fragment that never smiled. So why, in Lena’s memories, was Nihil smiling so brightly…?
...
Lin opened his eyes amid intense vertigo.
“Ugh…”
He tried to sit up, enduring the dizziness. Or at least, he tried. But half his body had vanished, leaving him unable to move properly. Lin flinched at the sight of his missing half, then sighed as he realized where he was.
‘Was the shock too much…?’
He hadn’t expected his manifested body to collapse like that. Grumbling inwardly, Lin roused his vanished senses. His limbs reappeared where they’d been blown off. Restoring the body here wasn’t difficult. But he’d consumed so much mental energy that he was starting to feel his limits.
‘No more risks.’
He’d stayed too long. And seen too much. Lin closed his eyes briefly to sort through the tangled memories. Lena’s short yet long life unfolded clearly in his mind. He’d seen nearly everything, save for the locked-away recollections. Her lonely childhood, the bright days laughing in her family’s embrace, and the moment her father, Rubel, abandoned her.
‘Clavis, that man…’
Lin had witnessed Clavis behind Marquis Rubel’s atrocities. And how he’d asked Lena to kill the emperor.
‘I knew he was a loathsome man.’
But he hadn’t imagined it went this far. Lin had pegged him for a mere incompetent hedonist, fawning over the emperor and indulging in luxuries. To think he was plotting something like this behind the scenes. Lin thought of Clavis smiling while hiding his dark intentions, then recalled Hiems Grasha, who shared the exact same face. The Hiems Grasha in Lena’s memories was eerily similar to Clavis. They shared blood, so resemblance was possible, but considering that the Northern Duke and Southern Duke were also of Grasha lineage, Clavis bore an uncanny likeness.
‘And Hiems Grasha has blond hair…’
The image of blond Clavis naturally evoked the blond Nihil he’d glimpsed right before the explosion. Nihil with long blond hair cascading down, smiling so radiantly. The sight made Lin’s stomach churn. He’d seen plenty, but much remained incomprehensible. Moreover, the imperial palace situation—already on thin ice in his mind—was far graver than anticipated. The cardinal plotting to assassinate the emperor? Success or failure, it spelled ruin for the empire. And into that perilous place came Lena Rubel. His fiancée, strong yet fragile, clear yet complex. Lin opened his eyes, thinking of her. Time was short. He had to find Lena quickly. He rose hurriedly, but the sight before him left him speechless once more. The library of memories was a wreck. Shelves lay toppled, books scattered and mixed. He had no idea how to find Lena here. Starting over from scratch felt daunting.
‘…I can find her.’
But he had no intention of giving up. If anything, he wanted to search even more. Lin knew the loneliness of being alone. The desperation of craving warmth with no one beside you. So he lifted his heavy body. Just to meet Lena one more time—that was reason enough. That was when it happened. A single sheet of paper fluttered down into the wrecked library. Then another. The sheets multiplied bit by bit, stacking in midair to gradually form a book.
‘What’s this?’
Lin watched curiously before reaching out cautiously. A faint memory fragment unfolded in his mind.
—You show your true colors when cornered, Mr. Hiems Grasha.
—You’re the one cornered, you insolent wench.
It was Lena and Hiems Grasha. When? What memory was this? As Lin examined the unfamiliar scene, he spotted Hiems’s crumbling body and realized. This was right after he’d briefly met Lena. Moments ago, in other words. Why this?
“Ah…!”
Lin gasped in surprise. Of course. This was where Lena’s memories were stored. And every experience became a memory. Even now, trapped in her consciousness.
“Why didn’t I notice this sooner?”
He muttered in astonishment, then realized. The chaotic flying books had all fallen and scattered across the floor. The library’s total destruction had made it visible. Another sheet drifted down from above. Lin reached out and caught it. A clear voice rang out.
—Lin!
It was Lena’s voice.
—Are you coming? Are you looking for me? Lin…!
Lena was calling him.
...
As Lin emerged from the library, his self-preservation instinct lingered outside as usual. The childlike Lena asked the moment she saw him.
“Couldn’t find me?”
“I did.”
Lin replied, glancing at another door. Lena’s consciousness was no longer in her memories. Hiems Grasha, realizing the intruder, had used his last strength to shove her deeper. Into the depths of her mind. Lin headed straight for the door, prompting Lena to cry out in alarm.
“W-Wait!”
“It’s fine.”
Lin responded calmly to her panicked shout. Before she could add anything, he smiled and said,
“Don’t hate me too much.”
“…You might make me hate you.”
Lena muttered softly. She pretended otherwise, but her face betrayed her anxiety. Lin gazed at her quietly, then turned from the door and approached her.
“Just a little touch.”
He reached out and gently stroked her head before she could permit it.
“…What are you doing?”
“Encouragement.”
Lena made an awkward face at the unexpected action and words. But only for a moment—realizing she’d done the same to him, her cheeks flushed red.
“Are you a pervert?”
“No….”
Lin replied nonchalantly, making her face burn hotter. At this reaction he’d never have expected from the usual Lena, Lin smiled faintly. Then he promised the girl who was both strong and weak.
“I’ll find you. Wherever you are, I will.”
***
Lena was in a deep, dark place. A spot where her senses dulled like being underwater. Trapped within, she gathered her fading mind and thought.
‘The King of Burn and Scorch?’
Surely gone for good this time. Ah, but who knows. That tenaciously persistent king. Even in death, clinging stubbornly to his throne.
‘Where am I?’
It felt comfortable. Like sitting in a warm bath, tempted to melt away. Lena shook off the languor. No, she still had things to do. This was just the beginning. She bit her lip and endured. After coming this far, she couldn’t crumble now. She had to exist. And prove herself. She couldn’t end like this.
“Lin!”
Unable to bear it alone, Lena cried out.
“Are you coming?”
She knew relying on others was dangerous, but she couldn’t help it.
“Are you looking for me? Lin!”
Overcoming this alone was impossible, endurance equally so.
“Lin, I…!”
So Lena clung to a sliver of hope and shouted. But after crying out, anxiety flooded in immediately.
“I’m… right here…”
What if no one came? What if she screamed and still no one came? Lena soon regretted her hasty shout. It was a cry no one would hear anyway, but it pierced her all the same. People judge so easily. A child cast out by her father could never be whole. She might look fine on the outside, but inside she’d be rotten, burned, twisted, a mess. Half right, half wrong. A girl fallen to the abyss from abandonment doesn’t have to break. She could be consumed by rage and wail in despair, but doesn’t have to. She could shatter or harbor grudges, but choose not to. Despite it all, she can choose what to become. But to do so, how much must she struggle? How fiercely must she battle the emotions assaulting her at every moment? How much must she endure the grueling hardship? How desperately must she strive not to resent a world that’s never once been kind? Lena wanted to be strong. And she had become strong. But that didn’t make everything okay. Especially in moments like this, facing her own fragility, the pain was indescribable. It was truly agonizing, torturous, endlessly so… Lena squeezed her eyes shut and took a breath to calm her churning heart. Preparing to endure alone once more.
‘Huh?’
Lena’s eyes snapped open in shock. She thought she’d heard something. Hoping against hope, she turned, then bit her lip again. Don’t expect anything, don’t. You’ll only get hurt if you do. See? You misheard. You’ll just disappoint yourself again. Then the voice came clearly once more.
“…me!”
Lena jerked her head up. She hadn’t misheard. It was definitely a man’s voice, a person’s. Holding her breath and listening, it grew sharper.
“Lena!”
Lena whipped toward the sound in astonishment. It called her again from the distance.
“Lena!”
It was Lin’s voice. Lin was rushing toward her, calling her name.
‘No way.’
Lena couldn’t believe it. It might be a trap, she thought. She needed to be cautious.
“Lin!”
But her lips betrayed her resolve and shouted.
“Lin, I’m here! Right here…!”
Even if it led to another heartbreak, she had to call out now. To the one who might have truly come for her, Lena had to answer. As she shouted back, the darkness filling her vision tore open. Light poured through the long rift, like a curtain parting. There stood Lin. He who had descended into the abyss to find her reached out his arm. Lena hesitated no longer and extended hers. Without question of who first, they pulled each other into an embrace.