Chapter 73
Chapter 73
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 73
Chapter Title: I Saw You
-----------------------------------------------------------------
“Big Sis!”
It was the voice of a much younger child, so young his pronunciation was still unclear. With that adorable cry, the door swung open. Peeking through the gap was a boy of about five or six—the young master of the house, whom Rin knew reasonably well.
‘Enji Rubel.’
Rin feigned surprise as he gazed at the heir to the Rubel Marquisate.
“Big Sis? Big Siiis!”
Young Enji scurried around the room, desperately searching for his sister. But the empty room remained silent, and soon the boy turned away in disappointment.
“She’s not here either…….”
Enji slouched dejectedly, closing the door behind him as he left. Then, the wardrobe in the otherwise empty room creaked open, and a little girl crept out stealthily. Rin clapped a hand over his mouth without realizing it as he watched her cautious steps.
‘Lena?’
Hiding in the wardrobe had been none other than Lena. Unlike before, this memory unfolded not from Lena’s perspective but from an external viewpoint. Perhaps because it was a fully formed recollection. Rin stared endlessly at the young Lena, clueless as to why. She looked about ten, around Uni’s age—truly small and cute. Emerging from the wardrobe, Lena clutched a book to her chest. She must have hidden to avoid her brother interrupting her reading. But just as Lena’s foot touched the carpet.
“Found you!”
“Mommy!”
The door burst open again, and Enji reappeared. Startled, Lena plopped down on her bottom.
‘Ah.’
Rin reflexively reached out to help the fallen Lena to her feet. But of course, his hand passed right through her. In the meantime, Enji, having spotted his sister, waddled over on his short legs to protest.
“I knew it! Why are you hiding? We were supposed to build a birdhouse today!”
“I wasn’t hiding. I was just taking a quick nap.”
“Don’t lie! You were reading while hiding!”
“I wasn’t?”
“Meanie! Then let’s go build the birdhouse quick.”
“Hey, why don’t we just ask the gardener to make it?”
As Lena brushed him off half-heartedly, trying to shoo Enji away, anger flared up on the already annoyed boy’s face. The furious child threatened his sister with all his might.
“You promised! We had a deal! If you break promises, you go to hell!”
“Yeah, I’d rather go to hell than play with you.”
But a sister was inevitably stronger than her little brother. Stunned by Lena’s nonchalant retort, Enji went blank. Then, filling his eyes with tears, he wailed at the top of his lungs.
“Why’s playing with me worse than going to hell? You’re a dummy, Sis!”
Overcome with resentment, Enji burst into loud sobs. The little kid bawled because his promise-breaking sister found him a nuisance, while the older kid belatedly realized her mistake upon seeing him cry.
“Ah, okay, okay. I was joking. Don’t cry. Sis will make the birdhouse.”
Enji, who had been crying his eyes and nose out, glared at his belatedly apologizing sister with sniffles. Resigned, Lena offered her back, and only then did Enji wipe his tears and clamber on. Hanging from his sister’s neck, Enji sniffled a warning.
“When I grow up, I’ll get revenge.”
“Yeah, hurry up and grow so you can play by yourself.”
Even as her brother vowed revenge, Lena herded him along unfazed.
“What’s in your pocket?”
Lena noticed something bulging in Enji’s pocket and asked.
“Acorns.”
“Why acorns?”
At Lena’s question, Enji sniffled, his mood apparently lifted as he chirped brightly.
“To decorate the birdhouse roof. Desert castle style.”
“Desert castle roofs are made of acorns? Last time you said pinecones.”
“No, that’s the eastern country. They make pinecone-shaped tile roofs there with bricks and tiles. Desert countries have round roofs that are only pointy at the ends. Real acorns.”
Enji explained the roof shapes with utmost seriousness, and Lena half-listened, mumbling vague replies.
Rin, watching it all, couldn’t help but smile. The bickering siblings were cute as they played together anyway. And recalling that this memory had been distinctly separated made it a bit poignant. As far as he knew, Lena didn’t interact much with Enji Rubel in the imperial palace. He’d thought it natural given their positions until now, but learning they’d been so close made it all the more heartbreaking. Meanwhile, with Enji on her back, Lena reached the stairs after passing through the hallway. It was the grand central staircase connecting the second-floor corridor to the first-floor hall, and to Rin’s eyes, their figures looked precarious. Could a little girl really carry her brother down the stairs? But that was a needless worry and a complete misconception.
“Sis, let’s slide down the banister!”
“Sure!”
At Enji’s request, Lena readily agreed, swinging her piggybacked brother around to the front. She clasped his small body securely and hopped onto the stair railing.
‘Dangerous……!’
Before Rin could even react in shock, Lena slid down the banister with expert ease. At the end, she hopped off lightly, landing in a perfectly stable pose. Rin was dumbfounded by the unexpected feat of agility from the girl in her pretty dress.
‘Lena…….’
She was already extraordinary back then. As Rin chuckled at Lena’s bold display.
“What did I just witness?”
A grown man’s voice came from somewhere.
“Father!”
Enji shouted brightly toward the entrance.
‘Marquis Rubel?’
Rin turned toward the voice, following Enji’s gaze, and jolted in surprise. Standing at the entrance was the man Enji called Father—presumably Marquis Rubel. But the man had no face. All his features were erased, leaving only a shadowy black silhouette.
“To think our little lady of the house slides down banisters. What kind of behavior is this for a future noblewoman.”
The shadow chided in a voice laced with laughter. It was an ordinary tone—no, warmer than ordinary. Speaking like that without a face was utterly bizarre. Rin wondered what expression Lena was making. But he could no longer see the young Lena. As if expelling the marquis from the memory, darkness firmly descended, severing the recollection. Right after, Rin found himself back in the library of memories.
‘It got cut off.’
Not ended—cut off. The warm memory had been abruptly severed by the marquis’s appearance. Ejected outside, Rin mulled over what he’d seen with a strange feeling. It wasn’t surprising that Lena was the Rubel family’s daughter, but the marquis’s appearance in that glimpse was unexpected in many ways. A peaceful childhood memory from which Marquis Rubel was excluded. His face blackened as if she didn’t want to see it. Rin was quite shocked that Lena remembered her father that way. He’d thought she didn’t care much about the marquis, but no. She’d just been pretending to be indifferent all this time—she clearly rejected the father who had abandoned her. Realizing anew how different Lena’s outer self was from her inner one, Rin looked back at the table before him. Besides memories with her brother, fragments of good times remained there. Moments when reading poetry filled her heart, outings to the suburbs with the family, mingling with peers at social gatherings, the blissfully ecstatic spring sunlight, the lovable autumn breeze. Days sweet as if made of sugar. But the Lena Rin sought wasn’t among them, and watching her happy times only weighed his heart heavier. He couldn’t even fathom why a child raised so preciously had started fighting.
‘……Nothing here either.’
Growing impatient, Rin left the table and turned his eyes to the bookshelves. He reached for a shelf packed tightly with identical books. But the moment he touched it, knowledge poured out like a raging torrent. It wasn’t anything grandiose. Words in the imperial tongue, names of various objects, uses of tools, everyday common sense, and very basic principles of the world. Most of it Rin already knew. But the sheer volume flooding in at once was overwhelming. Startled by the uncontrollable deluge of concepts, Rin pulled back. He felt disoriented at the same time.
‘Too much information.’
The human consciousness was far vaster than he’d imagined, and the knowledge stored within was truly immense. Instinct warned him before that deep chasm: danger if he went further. The East’s Authority distorted and destroyed the target’s consciousness to begin with. This kind of probing or contact was off-limits adventuring. Knowing that, Rin gritted his teeth and glared at the bookshelf again. He couldn’t even explain to himself why he felt so desperate. He liked her, but it was a one-sided feeling he couldn’t even express. The time and foundation for it to be called deep were still lacking. Yet every time Lena seemed about to vanish, he despaired endlessly. When she returned, he’d barely sigh in relief. Hearing she’d looked at him made him feel like he had everything; being defined as neither friend nor lover but mere ally felt like having it all snatched away again. His relationship with Lena was this much of a mess. A one-sided emotion burdened alone, a nominal engagement with an expiration date, and even if Lena luckily awoke, what awaited was a hated position. No one would maintain goodwill toward someone who spilled all their secrets. Especially not someone like Lena, who valued dignity so highly. In the end, this was a loss upon losses. The worst gamble leaving nothing behind. As his thoughts reached that point, Rin let out a long breath. Then he muttered the words he’d said to Lena earlier.
“Can’t be helped.”
Yeah, can’t be helped. Worrying over the unavoidable was pointless, so he had to do what he could. Rin steeled himself and approached the bookshelf again. This was a loss upon losses. The worst gamble leaving nothing behind. If he needed a reason to dive in anyway, just one would do. Rin wanted Lena Rubel to exist in this world. That reason was enough. . . . After that, Rin passed by dozens—no, hundreds of books. When he opened his eyes, he was in yet another unfamiliar moment. Heavy fatigue washed over him, but he shook it off and surveyed his surroundings. It was a dark night. Eerie flames flickered against the backdrop of a cold stone building. People wearing animal masks lay scattered here and there. They seemed injured, groaning and bleeding. Rin’s face hardened coldly at the grim scene. Spotting the animal masks, Rin instinctively searched for an altar. Sure enough, a stone etched with strange patterns lay on the ground. Rin knew what this situation was. It was a gathering of Heretics worshiping Wraiths. But the circumstances were odd. The altar was soaked in blood, yet no Wraith was present, and the masked Heretics writhed wounded on the floor. Instead, in the center, a rope-bound child and a black-clad girl faced each other. Spotting them, Rin sighed quietly.
‘Lena.’
The girl in black with short hair was none other than Lena. She looked almost exactly like the Lena he’d met outside, in her self-protective mode. But the atmosphere was starkly different. This Lena gazed at the child slumped on the floor with bored eyes, as if she’d forgotten all emotion. Blood dripped from the tip of Lena’s dagger. Judging by appearances, Lena had taken down the Heretics. Lena Rubel, crashing the ritual gathering. Not just the Heretics were taken aback. The child, bound hand and foot as Wraith fodder, stared at Lena in shock too. Gazing blankly at the suddenly appeared Lena, the child asked in a sharp voice, as if hiding fear.
“Are you a Wraith?”
Lena stared at the child before answering slowly.
“No.”
“Then are you human?”
Lena nodded silently. Then she just stood there. Like a broken clock, like a doll with a loose spring. At her eerie demeanor, the child asked again.
“Are you going to kill me?”
Lena didn’t answer. She merely stayed silent, as if she didn’t understand the question. The child gnashed their teeth in anger.
“If you’re gonna kill me, do it quick. Don’t drag it out.”
The child glared fiercely at Lena as they said it. After a long while, Lena slowly opened her mouth.
“……I saw you in the graveyard.”
She spoke very slowly, as if lost and confused.
“I came because I saw you. Just because you appeared…… So. No one came for me.”
Whispering words that were monologue or lament, Lena writhed in anguish. She seemed possessed by something. The child stared at her fixedly before asking back in a heavily suppressed voice.
“……Are you going to kill me?”
Lena blinked dazedly, then shook her head. At that small promise, tears gradually welled up in the child’s eyes, who had been holding on desperately. The child finally burst into sobs, but Lena made no move to comfort them, just watching. Rin watched the scene from a step away. Though he’d passed through many fragments so far, he still couldn’t fully trace Lena’s path. The moments of Lena he’d seen swung endlessly from boundless happiness to boundless loneliness, from boundless comfort to boundless danger. And the Lena before him now was emptily doll-like. Rin, feeling pity, reached out a hand knowing he couldn’t touch her. At that moment, a miraculous voice sounded.
“Rin?”