Chapter 53
Chapter 53
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 53
Chapter Title: The Name of the Emotion
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“This portrait is…….”
Lena, who had been gauging the unexpected situation, finally offered her critique after much deliberation.
“It’s impressive, as always. The heavy cloak looks like it’d be good for warmth, and the bird perched on the arm isn’t a messenger pigeon or a hunting falcon, so I’m not sure what it’s for, but it looks cool anyway.”
All in all, it amounted to saying it was all show and no substance, but Lena had done her best to praise the figure in the portrait. The Southern Duke, unsatisfied with her response, nodded to his secretary, who swapped it out. This was already the third one. The moment Lena had arrived, the Southern Duke had pulled out the portraits without a word of greeting and urged her to evaluate them with utmost seriousness.
“What have you been doing since earlier?”
Unable to hold back as the attendants grunted while hauling in yet another new portrait, Lena finally asked what was going on.
“Having your portrait painted, Young Lady?”
Uni voiced her curiosity from the side, and the Southern Duke, his face twisted as if enduring great humiliation, answered after a long pause.
“Portraits of young lords of marriageable age.”
“Oh dear…….”
The Southern Duke’s face hardened even more at Uni’s blunt interjection. Undeterred, he pressed on.
“If one catches your eye, just say the word. I’ll write the marriage proposal myself.”
“A marriage proposal?”
Lena’s face twisted in disbelief as she asked, and the Southern Duke, who had been suppressing his frustration, finally let his true feelings slip.
“How desperate do you think I have to be to do this! I’ve told that bastard no so many times!”
As the Southern Duke slammed the armrest in a fit of rage, Lena meekly covered her ears while Uni blatantly plugged hers. When the Southern Duke erupted again, feeling toyed with by the girls, Uni quickly chimed in.
“So, you’re saying enjoy your fun with the Eastern Duke but pick one from these and settle down?”
“Ahem!”
Uni had hit the nail on the head, prompting the Southern Duke to clear his throat awkwardly. It was as good as a confession, and Lena let out a long sigh. She hadn’t imagined this. She knew he’d oppose it, of course, but she never thought the old man, who prized his dignity so much, would lay out options for her to meet other men.
‘He must hate him that much, too.’
Lena gave a wry smile as she watched the Southern Duke bristle at the mere mention of the Eastern Duke. Of course, she’d known he disliked him this much. That was exactly why she’d stuck to the engagement ploy. Today, Lena planned to confess to the Southern Duke that she had fallen for Lin. Fake, of course—an act, naturally. Just like always, she’d play it cool and detached. Putting on airs was no great challenge, so she intended to deliver her lines as calmly as ever.
‘But why…….’
Does it feel off? Lena asked herself before even starting. She wasn’t sure if “off” was the right word. It just nagged at her. Like that morning, when she hadn’t woken even as Lin carried her. So, pretending to look at the new portrait, Lena reflected on her feelings. She had agreed to get engaged to Lin. Purely as a means, of course. A way to help him more easily. The day Lin had bared all his weaknesses to her, Lena had thought: she wanted to help him. She wanted to show those who misunderstood and condemned him who he really was. Why had she thought that? Because Lin was kind. Because his circumstances were so pitiable.
‘So, it’s pity.’
Lena named her emotion and nodded quietly. It didn’t seem wrong. Pity, yes. That’s what this was. That pebble-in-the-shoe discomfort came from pity. Reassured by her conclusion, Lena smiled brightly again.
“I don’t think I need to see any more portraits. I don’t need matchmaking or blind dates right now.”
The attendants holding the portraits hesitated and glanced at the Southern Duke, who finally rubbed his forehead and had them put away. He muttered in a voice thick with dissatisfaction.
“There’ve been all sorts of rumors lately about you two going around together.”
“It’s true.”
“Is that beast trailing after you?”
“He didn’t seem like much of a beast to me.”
Lena smiled softly as she answered the Southern Duke’s question. As she subtly took the Eastern Duke’s side, his eyebrows twisted again. But Lena feigned ignorance and continued.
“He was kind to me. I received all sorts of help from him.”
All sorts of help. The Southern Duke knew about the cloak the Eastern Duke had brought her. So he merely sighed at her fond whisper.
“And so, you plan to keep him close?”
“Is there any reason I shouldn’t?”
“What do you think you’re doing!”
The Southern Duke exploded in anger, and his secretary chimed in from the side.
“The Eastern Duke is a man who has insolently disregarded the South. If you give your heart to such a person, it makes the South look ridiculous.”
“But I’ve already promised my future to him.”
Lena lied without batting an eye, and at the sheer brazenness of it, the Southern Duke’s eyes widened as if they might pop out.
“What nonsense is that? How long have you even known him……!”
“It was more than enough time to confirm my feelings.”
Lena spoke with a shy smile, the picture of someone smitten, leaving the Southern Duke speechless. His secretary asked instead.
“Then what of your role as proxy for the South?”
He feared she might run off to the East. When he asked anxiously, Lena countered as if it were the most absurd thing.
“Fulfilling my duties and becoming someone’s lover are two separate things, aren’t they?”
“That may be fortunate, but don’t women usually prioritize their lover’s affairs over their own?”
“Well, if so, perhaps it’s because most men demand sacrifice from their lovers?”
Lena parried the secretary’s words with a perfectly composed smile. Then she added.
“Fortunately, my lover isn’t that selfish, so there won’t be any issue with me working as the South Duke’s proxy.”
Lena declared it in a gentle voice. In truth, it was a proclamation. Everyone present knew the mighty Southern Duke was powerless before the Executor. If the Executor decided, the Southern Duke permitted it. It had been an unspoken rule since the Silence War. So even if Lena said she’d date the Eastern Duke while acting as his proxy, the South had no grounds to object. They should be grateful she hadn’t abandoned them but stayed true instead. Yet the Southern Duke refused to concede and scowled deeply.
“Setting aside your role, why be so reckless?”
He looked truly exasperated as he scolded her.
“Didn’t you see his brutality firsthand? And yet you promise your future based on appearances! Kind? Anyone can be kind for a moment. Especially if they want to win favor. Why not consider that? What if he’s just using you!”
From there, the Southern Duke railed against the Eastern Duke for a while, then against young men in general, and finally shared tales of women who suffered after falling for men’s lies. As his words dragged on, the tone shifted from warning to lecture, then to nagging, leaving Lena inwardly stunned. There was no intent in his rambling to keep her there. It was simply a scolding to avoid ruining her life with a bad man. Blinking for a moment before him, Lena soon smiled faintly. No matter what, no one around her cared as deeply as the Southern Duke. That must be why. Why she wanted to clear up his misunderstanding about Lin. Because they were both good people. One gentle, the other deeply affectionate. She hoped they’d get along after she left. With that thought, Lena interrupted the endlessly lengthening lecture.
“I appreciate your concern, Your Grace, but the Eastern Duke won’t betray me.”
“How can you be so sure!”
“Then he’d make an enemy of me. He’s smart enough not to.”
Her words rang too true, and the raging Southern Duke’s face softened for a moment.
“And Your Grace, the side of the Eastern Duke you’ve shown me isn’t all of him. Just as the side you show him isn’t all of you.”
At Lena’s subtle persuasion, the Southern Duke scowled again, as if refusing to fall for such sweet talk. So Lena smiled and added.
“So instead of worrying about me going to the East, why not consider him coming to the South?”
“What?”
“The Eastern Duke is more thoughtful than you think. He wants to help in various ways, and if you allow it, we could handle the rift boundary duties together with the East.”
The Southern Duke’s expression grew even fiercer at her words.
“Did that bastard offer to help us?”
Lena replied lightly to his incredulous mutter.
“Why? You’ve received his help before.”
Before—at the tomb opening, in Do-um Palace. Rig-nan Aiterner had personally saved the Southern Duke from being devoured by a wraith. Remembering it clearly, the Southern Duke was at a loss for words again.
“The Eastern Duke is on our side.”
At Lena’s whisper, the Southern Duke clamped his mouth shut and breathed heavily. His expression was honest. He was inwardly thrilled at the prospect of the East’s cooperation, even if it irked him. Seeing that mix of annoyance and temptation in his eyes, Lena smiled to herself. The supposedly tough Southern Duke being so soft was amusing, and so was she, spouting lies so casually. Promising a future? Confirming feelings? Calling him her lover? All laughably false. Because this feeling was merely pity. Her affection for him stemmed solely from compassion. Satisfied with her conclusion, Lena nodded to herself.
***
At that very time, a similar topic was arising in the East.
“We received a report that you returned at dawn yesterday.”
“And?”
The atmosphere, however, was far more hostile than in the South.
“Should I report to you as well?”
“No, forgive my rudeness.”
The reason was the sharp-edged Eastern Duke. Rig-nan Aiterner had stayed out overnight. Even Lin himself felt quite disconcerted by the unforeseen events, so he needlessly sharpened his blade in response to his secretary’s question. Deka’s gaze turned pitiful at his lord’s outburst, but Lin didn’t notice. His mind was a whirlwind from yesterday’s events.
‘To fall asleep there.’
Falling asleep beside Lena had been utterly unexpected for him. Last night, Lena and Lin had sat side by side, gazing at the rain outside the window. Let’s go once it lets up a bit, whenever will that be? They’d exchanged such idle talk. Then the conversation turned to the East—not the Empire’s East, but farther east, Lin’s homeland. Lena had heard the region was incredibly beautiful and said she’d love to visit someday. So Lin told her about his hometown: endless mountain ranges, clear streams weaving through them, tiled roofs layered high with fish-shaped wind chimes at the eaves, and the platycodon flowers filling the courtyard……. But at some point, Lena’s responses stopped, and just as he wondered if he’d talked too much, her body tilted gently and leaned against his shoulder. Stunned by her sudden warmth and weight, Lin froze, then his heart pounded wildly at her steady breathing. It was an absurd moment. Rain fell outside, darkness deepened. The person asleep beside him was so beautiful and heartwarming. Thinking about it, this was all Lin had ever wanted. Leaning shoulders with the one he liked, resting in quiet peace like this. So Lin suddenly wondered. How did Lena see him? She’d always shown him kindness, but he still couldn’t pinpoint its nature. There were hints aplenty. Smiling and calling him handsome, drying his hair herself. Things one wouldn’t do without care. Of course, that care could be friendship or familial affection. Or it could be the romantic feelings he’d already sternly warned her against.
‘Tell me if you develop romantic feelings…….’
Lin cursed his past words once more. He’d spoken too rashly, unaware it would come to this. Truth be told, he’d liked her even then. But it was just a shallow fondness, so he’d drawn the line first to prevent it from growing. Yet after the events two days ago, he wondered if perhaps it was okay to like her more. Lena was strong. Strong enough to outmatch his own frenzy and subdue him. So maybe, just maybe, it’d be fine?
‘I’ve lost my mind.’
Lin snapped out of it, realizing Deka was still there. Just then, Deka cautiously spoke up.
“If I may be so bold, did you perhaps meet the South Duke’s proxy last night?”
Lin thought it was for the best and played it cool.
“How did you know?”
“You’ve been close lately, so I figured as much.”
In truth, Deka had known Lin slipped out every night. He’d chalked it up to his lord’s fondness for night strolls, but lately the outings had stretched longer, piquing his curiosity.
“Then with the South Duke’s proxy, have you…….”
“We’ve promised marriage.”
Deka’s eyes widened at Lin’s blunt reply, so Lin added matter-of-factly.
“I see no better candidate for the mistress of the East.”
“Ah, yes. My apologies.”
Deka agreed, even as he was startled. At the same time, he was puzzled. Lin’s face as he said it was too cold for a man in love. So Deka slightly doubted whether it was true affection or political calculation. Meanwhile, Lin pressed on.
“Prepare to support the next rift watch.”
“Support meaning…….”
“We’ll aid the South until the North’s turn comes.”
It meant covering the South’s weaknesses. At the thoughtful order, Deka grew confused again.
“Understood. I’ll reorganize the watch shifts to avoid any gaps at the boundary. But…….”
So Deka glanced at him and ventured carefully.
“When did things progress with Lady Lena Rubel…… My apologies.”
The Eastern Duke fixed his secretary with a cold stare, and Deka realized he’d overstepped and politely shut his mouth. But moments later, unable to hide his glee, Deka spoke again.
“In truth, I’ve often seen her looking at you, Your Grace.”
‘Lena?’
Deka explained that whenever they were in the same space, Lena would gaze at Lin now and then, then pretend otherwise if he turned. Lin’s eyes widened at the unexpected revelation. Unaware, Deka added, assuming it natural for lovers.
“I wondered why, but it seems she’s had feelings for you for some time.”
Lin swallowed dryly, struggling to maintain his composure. But his heart already throbbed painfully. He grew even more curious. About the name of the emotion Lena held for him.