Chapter 44
Chapter 44
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 44
Chapter Title: A Person Like a Poem
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“What a coincidence.”
The Unforgiven King, Regina, said.
“To think a child with the same name as me reached the Abyss.”
“The Abyss…?”
“What could have driven you so desperately to sink all the way down there? At such a young age.”
Lena could barely understand what Regina was saying. As she blinked in confusion, Lena suddenly remembered she was supposed to be resisting and furrowed her brows again.
“What do you mean by that?”
“It’s about what you just went through.”
When Lena pressed her, Regina answered readily.
“There was a moment when the world stopped, and only your consciousness remained, wasn’t there?”
“That’s…”
Wasn’t it just the Wraiths that stopped? Lena had thought the Wraiths moved and halted following her lead. But the world itself had stopped?
“I call those separated from time people who have touched the Abyss.”
Lena struggled to grasp the unfamiliar concept, then recalled how Regina’s voice had reached her amid the frozen time.
“T-Then you too?”
“Yes, I ended up like this after touching the Abyss.”
Regina said, running her hand over her cracked leg.
“The others are the same. Those who’ve seen the Abyss have each gone mad in their own way, playing at being kings of the grave.”
“Kings of the grave…?”
“The king of the Wraiths that surrounded you earlier.”
Regina casually revealed the grave’s secrets in a nonchalant tone. This place, arbitrarily named a grave by those on the surface, wasn’t something to be confined to such a narrow label. If the world of the living was a lake, this was a sky heavy with rain clouds, a valley sending streams flowing, and an ocean embracing all things. It was the unseen world upholding the visible one. What the living called a grave was merely the threshold of that vast ring, a small entrance formed from the sediments of the present world.
“No way…”
Lena’s heart sank at words too vast to comprehend. She had thought she’d merely fallen into a pit. To realize she’d dropped into an entirely different world… That realization brought a fear like being abandoned in a vast ocean.
“Are you afraid?”
Lena couldn’t bring herself to say no and nodded.
“How on earth did a being like you reach the Abyss?”
Regina said with a sigh.
“I thought only those monstrous enough would sink that far.”
“Monstrous…?”
“Those driven mad by regret or consumed by conviction, drowned in pleasure or intoxicated by blood, or those who’ve devoted everything to revenge—those kinds of monsters.”
Regina paused, lifting Lena’s chin with her fingertips. Then she whispered regretfully.
“But what reason brought you down to the Abyss? And alive, without even dying.”
“…My father sent me here.”
“Your birth father?”
“Yes, my real father…”
Regina let out a quiet hum at Lena’s subdued reply. But to Lena, it was no longer a fresh story. She’d mulled it over so much in the past ten days that it had crumbled to dust, leaving her numb to her own words. Instead, Lena turned the question back to the silent Regina.
“What happens to me now?”
“Are you asking for permission? Or seeking advice?”
“Huh?”
“Now you can decide for yourself. What to do, what kind of existence to become.”
“T-Then can I go back?”
“To the world of the living?”
Lena, who had felt lost about how to survive here, nodded with hope. Regina’s lips curved into a long arc.
“If you wish. But what good would it do to return?”
“What do you…”
“It’s a world that’s already cast you aside. They won’t welcome you back. Wouldn’t peaceful rest be better?”
“Peaceful rest?”
“If you wish, I’ll grant you rest without pain. It’d be better than returning to the living or becoming a king of the Wraiths.”
Lena quickly realized the “rest” Regina meant was death. Though it was an offer to kill her painlessly, Regina’s proposal felt gentle. And realistic. Lena even thought it might be for the best. But after a moment’s hesitation, she shook her head.
“…I want to go back to where I lived.”
“Why?”
“I want to see my father.”
Lena bit her lower lip as she forced the words out. Even now, the reason holding her together was her father. It felt a bit pathetic. But more than that, she was curious. That night, expecting a birthday gift, Lena had gone to her father only to be handed over right there. It was a bolt from the blue she’d never imagined. So Lena felt betrayal toward her father equal to her curiosity about his thoughts. How could he sell off his daughter like that? Had it been planned long ago, or was there some unavoidable circumstance? Did he regret it now? Was she truly worth so little that she could be sold? Before finding peace, Lena wanted to unravel that riddle first.
“You’ve chosen the harshest path.”
Regina didn’t try to dissuade Lena. On the contrary, she readily explained how to return to the world of the living. Fortunately, going back was easy. But as Regina had said, the world she returned to didn’t welcome her at all. Especially her father betrayed her in yet another way. The moment he heard his daughter had appeared, he sent men to burn the entire area to the ground. Lena, trapped in the attic by the docks, was helplessly engulfed by the rising flames and smoke. Death approached, and in that instant, Lena fell into the grave once more. Regina, waiting in the grave, saw Lena coughing on smoke and silently embraced her, as if she’d known this would happen. Under the Unforgiven King’s comforting, Lena’s breathing gradually steadied. And that soon turned to tears. Abandoned once again, Lena wept bitterly. She cried out of pity for her shallow hopes and out of confusion over why she had to be hated so much. When she finally stopped crying and came to her senses, Lena was sitting alone amid the charred docks, back in the present world.
. . . Having touched the Abyss, Lena became an undying being thereafter. More precisely, she fell into the grave just before death, avoiding the moment her breath truly stopped. So she endured situations that would have killed an ordinary person outright—events most experience only once in a lifetime—countless times. Dozens of near-deaths. Yet what kept Lena sane was poetry and Regina. If a single poem had sustained the abandoned Lena, then Regina had guided her through it. From Regina, Lena learned much—not just what a child learns from an adult, but the structure and secrets of this world, and everything about her father. That was why she once resented Regina.
‘There are things in the world one doesn’t need to know.’
Lena recalled that time and smiled bitterly. Regina had taught her so much, and Lena had despaired and crumbled each time she faced harsh truths. The feelings Clavis had presumptuously revealed earlier felt similar to Lena. Clavis’s situation and position were something Lena didn’t particularly want to know, couldn’t ignore, and didn’t want to bear. Lena mulled over the glimpse into Clavis’s heart until she grew fed up and shook her head. Then she quickened her pace, reciting a poem out of habit. But even that soon turned into a sigh. The poems Lena loved contained warm comfort, and in her growing years, reciting them had steadied her heart. But now, as an adult, she sometimes felt a bit shortchanged. The world was utterly vile, and those adapted to its vileness enjoyed everything it offered. Amid that, reciting poems alone sometimes made her feel foolish. But that didn’t mean she’d abandon her current convictions. Lena still loved that poem. Even if it didn’t suit this cruel world—no, precisely because it didn’t suit this world, Lena cherished it. It just felt lonely to recite poems alone, detached from the world.
‘Alone?’
In self-mockery, Lena suddenly questioned her own thought. Alone? Was she really alone? At that moment, the last item on today’s schedule came to mind. So Lena hurried across the corridor. That poem was kind. Gentle and strong, brimming with the intent to comfort the reader. Lena loved it and sought to resemble it. But the world and people didn’t acknowledge such a Lena. They suspected a discarded child couldn’t be that way—that she must be broken somewhere, desperately hiding it, sharpening a knife inwardly. So she nearly felt lonely from not being understood. But Lena realized her mistake and walked on gladly. The place Lena headed was Do-um Palace, hidden in the deepest part of the imperial palace. She caught her breath before the ruined castle and entered. She saw the red fissure leading to the grave and the knights in black uniforms guarding it. Among them, she easily spotted him. The one who didn’t suit this vile world, like a person resembling a poem. The one whose face, when close, felt like reading poetry, easing the heart. The cute one who thought you were teasing when you sincerely said he was pretty—he was there. As Lena entered Do-um Palace, the Eastern Duke guarding the fissure asked coldly.
“What brings the Proxy of the Southern Duke here?”
At that overbearing voice, Lena hid her true feelings and replied businesslike.
“I came to inspect the grave for the next expedition.”
“Who permitted it?”
“I have the Church’s approval.”
Lena said, pulling out the Church’s permit—one of the cards that had arrived this dawn—and holding it out. The Eastern Duke eyed Lena suspiciously before saying coldly.
“I haven’t heard of it.”
“I’ve heard the Church holds full authority here.”
But Lena didn’t back down. The Eastern Duke stared at the Proxy of the Southern Duke, who stood rigidly defiant, then rose from his seat.
“Then I’ll go too.”
“Your Grace, the escort knights…”
“I go alone. Guard the formation.”
When the Eastern Duke’s sudden decision made his secretary move, the Eastern Duke raised a hand to stop him.
“I’ll check what you’re doing in the grave.”
Brushing off his secretary’s concern, the Eastern Duke walked toward the fissure first. The Proxy of the Southern Duke followed with a stiff expression at that arrogant demeanor. As they ended up walking side by side, Lena whispered softly.
“Lin, you’re always so curt.”
“…Shh.”
Instead of answering, Lin made a small whooshing sound like wind. It wasn’t a warning to watch her mouth but a plea not to because it embarrassed him. So Lena bit her lower lip to stifle a laugh, and Lin furrowed his brow harder to feign greater sternness. Reaching the fissure, the two stood there, gazing at each other for a moment. Lena and Lin, who had secretly formed an alliance, had planned a grave reconnaissance as the first step to solidify it as fact. Since no one outside could know what happened in the grave, it was perfect for fabricating as needed. Lena wanted to tell Lin so much about the grave. Just as Regina had once taught her, she wanted to gladly teach him. The reason was, of course, that he was too pretty. She’d tried to guard boundaries, to suspect and keep distance, but it was no use. He was still one of the rare kind people in this cruel world, and Lena, who loved poetry, couldn’t help liking him, who resembled a poem. So Lena chose Lin. He was the last poem Lena would cherish.